going into society-第2部分

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together　for　any　indiwidual　purpose　on　the　face　of　the　earth；　and

send　only　two　people　in　late；　and　see　if　the　whole　company　an't　far

more　interested　in　takin　particular　notice　of　them　two　than　of　you

I　say；　I　wasn't　best　pleased　with　the　man　for　callin　out；　and　wasn't

blessin　him　in　my　own　mind；　when　I　see　Chops's　little　bell　fly　out

of　winder　at　a　old　lady；　and　he　gets　up　and　kicks　his　box　over；

exposin　the　whole　secret；　and　he　catches　hold　of　the　calves　of　my

legs　and　he　says　to　me；　〃Carry　me　into　the　wan；　Toby；　and　throw　a

pail　of　water　over　me　or　I'm　a　dead　man；　for　I've　come　into　my

property！〃



Twelve　thousand　odd　hundred　pound；　was　Chops's　winnins。　　He　had

bought　a　half…ticket　for　the　twenty…five　thousand　prize；　and　it　had

come　up。　　The　first　use　he　made　of　his　property；　was；　to　offer　to

fight　the　Wild　Indian　for　five　hundred　pound　a　side；　him　with　a

poisoned　darnin…needle　and　the　Indian　with　a　club；　but　the　Indian

being　in　want　of　backers　to　that　amount；　it　went　no　further。



Arter　he　had　been　mad　for　a　weekin　a　state　of　mind；　in　short；　in

which；　if　I　had　let　him　sit　on　the　organ　for　only　two　minutes；　I

believe　he　would　have　bustbut　we　kep　the　organ　from　himMr。　Chops

come　round；　and　behaved　liberal　and　beautiful　to　all。　　He　then　sent

for　a　young　man　he　knowed；　as　had　a　wery　genteel　appearance　and　was

a　Bonnet　at　a　gaming…booth　（most　respectable　brought　up；　father

havin　been　imminent　in　the　livery　stable　line　but　unfort'nate　in　a

commercial　crisis；　through　paintin　a　old　gray；　ginger…bay；　and

sellin　him　with　a　Pedigree）；　and　Mr。　Chops　said　to　this　Bonnet；　who

said　his　name　was　Normandy；　which　it　wasn't：



〃Normandy；　I'm　a　goin　into　Society。　　Will　you　go　with　me？〃



Says　Normandy：　　〃Do　I　understand　you；　Mr。　Chops；　to　hintimate　that

the　'ole　of　the　expenses　of　that　move　will　be　borne　by　yourself？〃



〃Correct；〃　says　Mr。　Chops。　　〃And　you　shall　have　a　Princely　allowance

too。〃



The　Bonnet　lifted　Mr。　Chops　upon　a　chair；　to　shake　hands　with　him；

and　replied　in　poetry；　with　his　eyes　seemingly　full　of　tears：





〃My　boat　is　on　the　shore；

And　my　bark　is　on　the　sea；

And　I　do　not　ask　for　more；

But　I'll　Go：…　along　with　thee。〃





They　went　into　Society；　in　a　chay　and　four　grays　with　silk　jackets。

They　took　lodgings　in　Pall　Mall；　London；　and　they　blazed　away。



In　consequence　of　a　note　that　was　brought　to　Bartlemy　Fair　in　the

autumn　of　next　year　by　a　servant；　most　wonderful　got　up　in　milk…

white　cords　and　tops；　I　cleaned　myself　and　went　to　Pall　Mall；　one

evening　appinted。　　The　gentlemen　was　at　their　wine　arter　dinner；　and

Mr。　Chops's　eyes　was　more　fixed　in　that　Ed　of　his　than　I　thought

good　for　him。　　There　was　three　of　'em　（in　company；　I　mean）；　and　I

knowed　the　third　well。　　When　last　met；　he　had　on　a　white　Roman

shirt；　and　a　bishop's　mitre　covered　with　leopard…skin；　and　played

the　clarionet　all　wrong；　in　a　band　at　a　Wild　Beast　Show。



This　gent　took　on　not　to　know　me；　and　Mr。　Chops　said：　　〃Gentlemen；

this　is　a　old　friend　of　former　days：〃　and　Normandy　looked　at　me

through　a　eye…glass；　and　said；　〃Magsman；　glad　to　see　you！〃which

I'll　take　my　oath　he　wasn't。　　Mr。　Chops；　to　git　him　convenient　to

the　table；　had　his　chair　on　a　throne　（much　of　the　form　of　George　the

Fourth's　in　the　canvass）；　but　he　hardly　appeared　to　me　to　be　King

there　in　any　other　pint　of　view；　for　his　two　gentlemen　ordered　about

like　Emperors。　　They　was　all　dressed　like　May…Daygorgeous！And　as

to　Wine；　they　swam　in　all　sorts。



I　made　the　round　of　the　bottles；　first　separate　（to　say　I　had　done

it）；　and　then　mixed　'em　all　together　（to　say　I　had　done　it）；　and

then　tried　two　of　'em　as　half…and…half；　and　then　t'other　two。

Altogether；　I　passed　a　pleasin　evenin；　but　with　a　tendency　to　feel

muddled；　until　I　considered　it　good　manners　to　get　up　and　say；　〃Mr。

Chops；　the　best　of　friends　must　part；　I　thank　you　for　the　wariety　of

foreign　drains　you　have　stood　so　'ansome；　I　looks　towards　you　in　red

wine；　and　I　takes　my　leave。〃　　Mr。　Chops　replied；　〃If　you'll　just

hitch　me　out　of　this　over　your　right　arm；　Magsman；　and　carry　me

down…stairs；　I'll　see　you　out。〃　　I　said　I　couldn't　think　of　such　a

thing；　but　he　would　have　it；　so　I　lifted　him　off　his　throne。　　He

smelt　strong　of　Maideary；　and　I　couldn't　help　thinking　as　I　carried

him　down　that　it　was　like　carrying　a　large　bottle　full　of　wine；　with

a　rayther　ugly　stopper；　a　good　deal　out　of　proportion。



When　I　set　him　on　the　door…mat　in　the　hall；　he　kep　me　close　to　him

by　holding　on　to　my　coat…collar；　and　he　whispers：



〃I　ain't　'appy；　Magsman。〃



〃What's　on　your　mind；　Mr。　Chops？〃



〃They　don't　use　me　well。　　They　an't　grateful　to　me。　　They　puts　me　on

the　mantel…piece　when　I　won't　have　in　more　Champagne…wine；　and　they

locks　me　in　the　sideboard　when　I　won't　give　up　my　property。〃



〃Get　rid　of　'em；　Mr。　Chops。〃



〃I　can't。　　We're　in　Society　together；　and　what　would　Society　say？〃



〃Come　out　of　Society！〃　says　I。



〃I　can't。　　You　don't　know　what　you're　talking　about。　　When　you　have

once　gone　into　Society；　you　mustn't　come　out　of　it。〃



〃Then　if　you'll　excuse　the　freedom；　Mr。　Chops；〃　were　my　remark；

shaking　my　head　grave；　〃I　think　it's　a　pity　you　ever　went　in。〃



Mr。　Chops　shook　that　deep　Ed　of　his；　to　a　surprisin　extent；　and

slapped　it　half　a　dozen　times　with　his　hand；　and　with　more　Wice　than

I　thought　were　in　him。　　Then；　he　says；　〃You're　a　good　fellow；　but

you　don't　understand。　　Good…night；　go　along。　　Magsman；　the　little

man　will　now　walk　three　times　round　the　Cairawan；　and　retire　behind

the　curtain。〃　　The　last　I　see　of　him　on　that　occasion　was　his　tryin；

on　the　extremest　werge　of　insensibility；　to　climb　up　the　stairs；　one

by　one；　with　his　hands　and　knees。　　They'd　have　been　much　too　steep

for　him；　if　he　had　been　sober；　but　he　wouldn't　be　helped。



It　warn't　long　after　that；　that　I　read　in　the　newspaper　of　Mr。

Chops's　being　presented　at　court。　　It　was　printed；　〃It　will　be

recollected〃and　I've　noticed　in　my　life；　that　it　is　sure　to　be

printed　that　it　WILL　be　recollected；　whenever　it　won't〃that　Mr。

Chops　is　the　individual　of　small　stature；　whose　brilliant　success　in

the　last　State　Lottery　attracted　so　much　attention。〃　　Well；　I　says

to　myself；　Such　is　Life！　　He　has　been　and　done　it　in　earnest　at

last。　　He　has　astonished　George　the　Fourth！



（On　account　of　which；　I　had　that　canvass　new…painted；　him　with　a　bag

of　money　in　his　hand；　a　presentin　it　to　George　the　Fourth；　and　a

lady　in　Ostrich　Feathers　fallin　in　love　with　him　in　a　bag…wig；

sword；　and　buckles　correct。）



I　took　the　House　as　is　the　subject　of　present　inquiriesthough　not

the　honour　of　bein　acquaintedand　I　run　Magsman's　Amusements　in　it

thirteen　monthssometimes　one　thing；　sometimes　another；　sometimes

nothin　particular；　but　always　all　the　canvasses　outside。　　One　night；

when　we　had　played　the　last　company　out；　which　was　a　shy　company；

through　its　raining　Heavens　hard；　I　was　takin　a　pipe　in　the　one　pair

back　along　with　the　young　man　with　the　toes；　which　I　had　taken　on

for　a　month　（though　he　never　drawedexcept　on　paper）；　and　I　heard　a

kickin　at　the　street　door。　　〃Halloa！〃　I　says　to　the　young　man；

〃what's　up！〃　　He　rubs　his　eyebrows　with　his　toes；　and　he　says；　〃I

can't　imagine；　Mr。　Magsman〃which　he　never　could　imagine　nothin；

and　was　monotonous　company。



The　noise　not　leavin　off；　I　laid　down　my　pipe；　and　I　took　up　a

candle；　and　I　went　down　and　opened　the　door。　　I　looked　out　into　the

street；　but　nothin　could　I　see；　and　nothin　was　I　aware　of；　until　I

turned　round　quick；　because　some　creetur　run　between　my　legs　into

the　passage。　　There　was　Mr。　Chops！



〃Magsman；〃　he　says；　〃take　me；　on　the　old　terms；　and　you've　got　me；

if　it's　done；　say　done！〃



I　was　all　of　a　maze；　but　I　said；　〃Done；　sir。〃



〃Done　to　your　done；　and　double　done！〃　says　he。　　〃Have　you　got　a　bit

of　supper　in　the　house？〃



Bearin　in　mind　them　sparklin　warieties　of　foreign　drains　as　we'd

guzzled　away　at　in　Pall　Mall；　I　was　ashamed　to　offer　him　cold

sassages　and　gin…and…water；　but　he　took　'em　both　and　took　'em　free；

havin　a　chair　for　his　table；　and　sittin　down　at　it　on　a　stool；　like

hold　times。　　I；　all　of　a　maze　all　the　while。



It　was　arter　he　had　made　a　clean　sweep　of　the　sassages　（beef；　and　to

the　best　of　my　calculations　two　pound　and　a　quarter）；　that　the

wisdom　as　was　in　that　little　man　began　to　come　out　of　him　like

prespiration。



〃Magsman；〃　he　says；　〃look　upon　me！　　You　see　afore　you；　One　as　has

both　gone　into　Society　and　come　out。〃



〃O！　　You　ARE　out　of　it；　Mr。　Chops？　　How　did　you　get　out；　sir？〃



〃SOLD　OUT！〃　says　he。　　You　never　saw　the　like　of　the　wisdom　as　his　Ed

expressed；　when　he　made　use　of　them　two　words。



〃My　friend　Magsman；　I'll　impart　to　you　a　discovery　I've　made。　　It's

wallable；　it's　cost　twelve　thousand　five　hundred　pound；　it　may　do

you　good　in　lifeThe　secret　of　this　matter　is；　that　it　ain't　so

much　that　a　person　goes　into　Society；　as　that　Society　goes　into　a

person。〃



Not　exactly　keepin　up　with　his　meanin；　I　shook　my　head；　put　on　a

deep　look；　and　said；　〃You're　right　there；　Mr。　Chops。〃



〃Magsman；〃　he　says；　twitchin　me　by　the　leg；　〃Society　has　gone　into

me；　to　the　tune　of　every　penny　of　my　property。〃



I　felt　that　I　went　pale；　and　though　nat'rally　a　bold　speaker；　I

couldn't　hardly　say；　〃Where's　Normandy？〃



〃Bolted。　　With　the　plate；〃　said　Mr。　Chops。



〃And　t'other　one？〃　meaning　him　as　formerly　wore　the　bishop's　mitre。



〃Bolted。　　With　the　jewels；〃　said　Mr。　Chops。



I　sat　down　and　looked　at　him；　and　he　stood　up　and　looked　at　me。



〃Magsman；〃　he　says；　and　he　seemed　to　myself　to　get　wiser　as　he　got

hoarser；　〃Society；　taken　in　the　lump；　is　all　dwarfs。　　At　the　court

of　St。　James's；　they　was　all　a　doing　my　old　businessall　a　goin

three　times　round　the　Cairawan；　in　the　hold　court…suits　and

properties。　　Elsewheres；　they　was　most　of　'em　ringin　their　little

bells　out　of　make…believes。　　E