love and freindship-第15部分

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〃Ride　where　you　may；　Be　Candid　where　you　can；〃　she　added；〃　I　rode　once；　but　it　is　many　years　agoShe　spoke　this　in　so　low　and　tremulous　a　Voice；　that　I　was　silent。　Struck　with　her　Manner　of　speaking　I　could　make　no　reply。　〃I　have　not　ridden；　continued　she　fixing　her　Eyes　on　my　face；　since　I　was　married。〃　I　was　never　so　surprised〃Married；　Ma'am！〃　　I　repeated。　　〃You　may　well　wear　that　look　of　astonishment；　said　she；　since　what　I　have　said　must　appear　improbable　to　youYet　nothing　is　more　true　than　that　I　once　was　married。〃

〃Then　why　are　you　called　Miss　Jane？〃

〃I　married；　my　Sophia　without　the　consent　or　knowledge　of　my　father　the　late　Admiral　Annesley。　　It　was　therefore　necessary　to　keep　the　secret　from　him　and　from　every　one；　till　some　fortunate　opportunity　might　offer　of　revealing　it。　Such　an　opportunity　alas！　　was　but　too　soon　given　in　the　death　of　my　dear　Capt。　DashwoodPardon　these　tears；　continued　Miss　Jane　wiping　her　Eyes；　I　owe　them　to　my　Husband's　memory。　　He　fell　my　Sophia；　while　fighting　for　his　Country　in　America　after　a　most　happy　Union　of　seven　years。　　My　Children；　two　sweet　Boys　and　a　Girl；　who　had　constantly　resided　with　my　Father　and　me；　passing　with　him　and　with　every　one　as　the　Children　of　a　Brother　（tho'　I　had　ever　been　an　only　Child）　had　as　yet　been　the　comforts　of　my　Life。　But　no　sooner　had　I　lossed　my　Henry；　than　these　sweet　Creatures　fell　sick　and　died。　　Conceive　dear　Sophia　what　my　feelings　must　have　been　when　as　an　Aunt　I　attended　my　Children　to　their　early　Grave。　　My　Father　did　not　survive　them　many　weeksHe　died；　poor　Good　old　man；　happily　ignorant　to　his　last　hour　of　my　Marriage。'

〃But　did　not　you　own　it；　and　assume　his　name　at　your　husband's　death？〃

〃No；　I　could　not　bring　myself　to　do　it；　more　especially　when　in　my　Children　I　lost　all　inducement　for　doing　it。　　Lady　Bridget；　and　yourself　are　the　only　persons　who　are　in　the　knowledge　of　my　having　ever　been　either　Wife　or　Mother。　　As　I　could　not　Prevail　on　myself　to　take　the　name　of　Dashwood　（a　name　which　after　my　Henry's　death　I　could　never　hear　without　emotion）　and　as　I　was　conscious　of　having　no　right　to　that　of　Annesley；　I　dropt　all　thoughts　of　either；　and　have　made　it　a　point　of　bearing　only　my　Christian　one　since　my　Father's　death。〃　She　paused〃Oh！　　my　dear　Miss　Jane　（said　I）　how　infinitely　am　I　obliged　to　you　for　so　entertaining　a　story！　　You　cannot　think　how　it　has　diverted　me！　But　have　you　quite　done？〃

〃I　have　only　to　add　my　dear　Sophia；　that　my　Henry's　elder　Brother　dieing　about　the　same　time；　Lady　Bridget　became　a　Widow　like　myself；　and　as　we　had　always　loved　each　other　in　idea　from　the　high　Character　in　which　we　had　ever　been　spoken　of；　though　we　had　never　met；　we　determined　to　live　together。　　We　wrote　to　one　another　on　the　same　subject　by　the　same　post；　so　exactly　did　our　feeling　and　our　actions　coincide！　　We　both　eagerly　embraced　the　proposals　we　gave　and　received　of　becoming　one　family；　and　have　from　that　time　lived　together　in　the　greatest　affection。〃

〃And　is　this　all？　　said　I；　I　hope　you　have　not　done。〃

〃Indeed　I　have；　and　did　you　ever　hear　a　story　more　pathetic？〃

〃I　never　didand　it　is　for　that　reason　it　pleases　me　so　much；　for　when　one　is　unhappy　nothing　is　so　delightful　to　one's　sensations　as　to　hear　of　equal　misery。〃

〃Ah！　　but　my　Sophia　why　are　YOU　unhappy？〃

〃Have　you　not　heard　Madam　of　Willoughby's　Marriage？〃

〃But　my　love　why　lament　HIS　perfidy；　when　you　bore　so　well　that　of　many　young　Men　before？〃

〃Ah！　　Madam；　I　was　used　to　it　then；　but　when　Willoughby　broke　his　Engagements　I　had　not　been　dissapointed　for　half　a　year。〃

〃Poor　Girl！〃　said　Miss　Jane。



LETTER　the　THIRD　From　a　YOUNG　LADY　in　distressed　Circumstances　to　her　freind

A　few　days　ago　I　was　at　a　private　Ball　given　by　Mr　Ashburnham。　As　my　Mother　never　goes　out　she　entrusted　me　to　the　care　of　Lady　Greville　who　did　me　the　honour　of　calling　for　me　in　her　way　and　of　allowing　me　to　sit　forwards；　which　is　a　favour　about　which　I　am　very　indifferent　especially　as　I　know　it　is　considered　as　confering　a　great　obligation　on　me　　〃So　Miss　Maria　（said　her　Ladyship　as　she　saw　me　advancing　to　the　door　of　the　Carriage）　you　seem　very　smart　to　night　MY　poor　Girls　will　appear　quite　to　disadvantage　by　YOU　I　only　hope　your　Mother　may　not　have　distressed　herself　to　set　YOU　off。　　Have　you　got　a　new　Gown　on？〃

〃Yes　Ma'am。〃　replied　I　with　as　much　indifference　as　I　could　assume。

〃Aye；　and　a　fine　one　too　I　think（feeling　it；　as　by　her　permission　I　seated　myself　by　her）　I　dare　say　it　is　all　very　smartBut　I　must　own；　for　you　know　I　always　speak　my　mind；　that　I　think　it　was　quite　a　needless　piece　of　expenceWhy　could　not　you　have　worn　your　old　striped　one？　　It　is　not　my　way　to　find　fault　with　People　because　they　are　poor；　for　I　always　think　that　they　are　more　to　be　despised　and　pitied　than　blamed　for　it；　especially　if　they　cannot　help　it；　but　at　the　same　time　I　must　say　that　in　my　opinion　your　old　striped　Gown　would　have　been　quite　fine　enough　for　its　Wearerfor　to　tell　you　the　truth　（I　always　speak　my　mind）　I　am　very　much　afraid　that　one　half　of　the　people　in　the　room　will　not　know　whether　you　have　a　Gown　on　or　notBut　I　suppose　you　intend　to　make　your　fortune　to　night。　Well；　the　sooner　the　better；　and　I　wish　you　success。〃

〃Indeed　Ma'am　I　have　no　such　intention〃

〃Who　ever　heard　a　young　Lady　own　that　she　was　a　Fortune…hunter？〃　Miss　Greville　laughed　but　I　am　sure　Ellen　felt　for　me。

〃Was　your　Mother　gone　to　bed　before　you　left　her？〃　said　her　Ladyship。

〃Dear　Ma'am；　said　Ellen　it　is　but　nine　o'clock。〃

〃True　Ellen；　but　Candles　cost　money；　and　Mrs　Williams　is　too　wise　to　be　extravagant。〃

〃She　was　just　sitting　down　to　supper　Ma'am。〃

〃And　what　had　she　got　for　supper？〃　　　〃I　did　not　observe。〃　〃Bread　and　Cheese　I　suppose。〃　　〃I　should　never　wish　for　a　better　supper。〃　　said　Ellen。　　〃You　have　never　any　reason　replied　her　Mother；　as　a　better　is　always　provided　for　you。〃　Miss　Greville　laughed　excessively；　as　she　constantly　does　at　her　Mother's　wit。

Such　is　the　humiliating　Situation　in　which　I　am　forced　to　appear　while　riding　in　her　Ladyship's　CoachI　dare　not　be　impertinent；　as　my　Mother　is　always　admonishing　me　to　be　humble　and　patient　if　I　wish　to　make　my　way　in　the　world。　She　insists　on　my　accepting　every　invitation　of　Lady　Greville；　or　you　may　be　certain　that　I　would　never　enter　either　her　House；　or　her　Coach　with　the　disagreable　certainty　I　always　have　of　being　abused　for　my　Poverty　while　I　am　in　them。When　we　arrived　at　Ashburnham；　it　was　nearly　ten　o'clock；　which　was　an　hour　and　a　half　later　than　we　were　desired　to　be　there；　but　Lady　Greville　is　too　fashionable　（or　fancies　herself　to　be　so）　to　be　punctual。　　The　Dancing　however　was　not　begun　as　they　waited　for　Miss　Greville。　　I　had　not　been　long　in　the　room　before　I　was　engaged　to　dance　by　Mr　Bernard；　but　just　as　we　were　going　to　stand　up；　he　recollected　that　his　Servant　had　got　his　white　Gloves；　and　immediately　ran　out　to　fetch　them。　　In　the　mean　time　the　Dancing　began　and　Lady　Greville　in　passing　to　another　room　went　exactly　before　meShe　saw　me　and　instantly　stopping；　said　to　me　though　there　were　several　people　close　to　us；

〃Hey　day；　Miss　Maria！　　　What　cannot　you　get　a　partner？　Poor　Young　Lady！　　I　am　afraid　your　new　Gown　was　put　on　for　nothing。　　But　do　not　despair；　perhaps　you　may　get　a　hop　before　the　Evening　is　over。〃　　So　saying；　she　passed　on　without　hearing　my　repeated　assurance　of　being　engaged；　and　leaving　me　very　much　provoked　at　being　so　exposed　before　every　oneMr　Bernard　however　soon　returned　and　by　coming　to　me　the　moment　he　entered　the　room；　and　leading　me　to　the　Dancers　my　Character　I　hope　was　cleared　from　the　imputation　Lady　Greville　had　thrown　on　it；　in　the　eyes　of　all　the　old　Ladies　who　had　heard　her　speech。　　I　soon　forgot　all　my　vexations　in　the　pleasure　of　dancing　and　of　having　the　most　agreable　partner　in　the　room。　　As　he　is　moreover　heir　to　a　very　large　Estate　I　could　see　that　Lady　Greville　did　not　look　very　well　pleased　when　she　found　who　had　been　his　ChoiceShe　was　determined　to　mortify　me；　and　accordingly　when　we　were　sitting　down　between　the　dances；　she　came　to　me　with　more　than　her　usual　insulting　importance　attended　by　Miss　Mason　and　said　loud　enough　to　be　heard　by　half　the　people　in　the　room；　　〃Pray　Miss　Maria　in　what　way　of　business　was　your　Grandfather？　　for　Miss　Mason　and　I　cannot　agree　whether　he　was　a　Grocer　or　a　Bookbinder。〃　I　saw　that　she　wanted　to　mortify　me；　and　was　resolved　if　I　possibly　could　to　Prevent　her　seeing　that　her　scheme　succeeded。　〃Neither　Madam；　he　was　a　Wine　Merchant。〃　　〃Aye；　I　knew　he　was　in　some　such　low　way　He　broke　did　not　he？〃　　〃I　beleive　not　Ma'am。〃　　　〃Did　not　he　abscond？〃　〃I　never　heard　that　he　did。〃　　〃At　least　he　died　insolvent？〃　〃I　was　never　told　so　before。〃　　〃Why；　was　not　your　FATHER　as　poor　as　a　Rat〃　　〃I　fancy　not。〃　　〃Was　not　he　in　the　Kings　Bench　once？〃　　〃I　never　saw　him　there。〃　　She　gave　me　SUCH　a　look；　and　turned　away　in　a　great　passion；　while　I　was　half　delighted　with　myself　for　my　impertinence；　and　half　afraid　of　being　thought　too　saucy。　　As　Lady　Greville　was　extremely　angry　with　me；　she　took　no　further　notice　of　me　all　the　Evening；　and　indeed　had　I　been　in　favour　I　should　have　been　equally　neglected；　as　she　was　got　into　a　Party　of　great　folks　and　she　never　speaks　to　me　when　she　can　to　anyone　else。　Miss　Greville　was　with　her　Mother's　party　at　supper；　but　Ellen　preferred　staying　with　the　Bernards　and　me。　　We　had　a　very　pleasant　Dance　and　as　Lady　G　slept　all　the　way　home；　I　had　a　very　comfortable　ride。

The　next　day　while　we　were　at　dinner　Lady　Greville's　Coach　stopped　at　the　door；　for　that　is　the　time　of　day　she　generally　contrives　it　should。　　She　sent　in　a　message　by　the　servant　to　say　that　〃she　should　not　get　out　but　that　Miss　Maria　must　come　to　the　Coach…door；　as　she　wanted　to　speak　to　her；　and　that　she　must　make　haste　and　come　immediately〃　　〃What　an　impertinent　Message　Mama！〃　said　I〃Go　Maria〃　replied　sheAccordingly　I　went　and　was　obliged　to　stand　there　at　her　Ladyships　pleasure　though　the　Wind　was　extremely　high　and　very　cold。

〃Why　I　think　Miss　Maria　you　are　not　quite　so　smart　as　you　were　last　nightBut　I　did　not　come　to　examine　your　dress；　but　to　tell　you　that　you　may　dine　with　us　the　day　after　tomorrowNot　tomorrow；　remember；　do　not　come　tomorr