the autobiography of a quack-第6部分

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　him　to　let　me　try　a　good　dose　of　quinine；　while；　on　the　other　hand；　there　was　a　distinct　pecuniary　advantage　in　those　cases　of　the　shakes　which　could　be　made　to　believe　that　it　‘‘was　best　not　to　interfere　with　nature。''　I　ought　to　add　that　this　kind　of　faith　is　uncommon　among　folks　who　carry　hods　or　build　walls。

For　women　who　are　hysterical；　and　go　heart　and　soul　into　the　business　of　being　sick；　I　have　found　the　little　pills　a　most　charming　resort；　because　you　cannot　carry　the　refinement　of　symptoms　beyond　what　my　friend　Jahr　has　done　in　the　way　of　fitting　medicines　to　them；　so　that　if　I　had　taken　seriously　to　practising　this　double　form　of　therapeutics；　it　had；　as　I　saw；　certain　conveniences。

Another　year　went　by；　and　I　was　beginning　to　prosper　in　my　new　mode　of　life。　My　medicines　（being　chiefly　milk…sugar；　with　variations　as　to　the　labels）　cost　next　to　nothing；　and　as　I　charged　pretty　well　for　both　these　and　my　advice；　I　was　now　able　to　start　a　gig。

I　solemnly　believe　that　I　should　have　continued　to　succeed　in　the　practice　of　my　profession　if　it　had　not　happened　that　fate　was　once　more　unkind　to　me；　by　throwing　in　my　path　one　of　my　old　acquaintances。　I　had　a　consultation　one　day　with　the　famous　homeopath　Dr。　Zwanzig。　As　we　walked　away　we　were　busily　discussing　the　case　of　a　poor　consumptive　fellow　who　previously　had　lost　a　leg。　In　consequence　of　this　defect；　Dr。　Zwanzig　considered　that　the　ten…thousandth　of　a　grain　of　aurum　would　be　an　overdose；　and　that　it　must　be　fractioned　so　as　to　allow　for　the　departed　leg；　otherwise　the　rest　of　the　man　would　be　getting　a　leg…dose　too　much。　I　was　particularly　struck　with　this　view　of　the　case；　but　I　was　still　more；　and　less　pleasingly；　impressed　at　the　sight　of　my　former　patient　Stagers；　who　nodded　to　me　familiarly　from　the　opposite　pavement。

I　was　not　at　all　surprised　when；　that　evening　quite　late；　I　found　this　worthy　waiting　in　　my　office。　I　looked　around　uneasily；　which　was　clearly　understood　by　my　friend；　who　retorted：　‘‘Ain't　took　nothin'　of　yours；　doc。　You　don't　seem　right　awful　glad　to　see　me。　You　needn't　be　afraidI've　only　fetched　you　a　job；　and　a　right　good　one；　too。''

I　replied　that　I　had　my　regular　business；　that　I　preferred　he　should　get　some　one　else；　and　pretty　generally　made　Mr。　Stagers　aware　that　I　had　had　enough　of　him。　I　did　not　ask　him　to　sit　down；　and；　just　as　I　supposed　him　about　to　leave；　he　seated　himself　with　a　grin；　remarking；　‘‘No　use；　doc；　got　to　go　into　it　this　one　time。''

At　this　I；　naturally　enough；　grew　angry　and　used　several　rather　violent　phrases。

‘‘No　use；　doc；''　said　Stagers。

Then　I　softened　down；　and　laughed　a　little；　and　treated　the　thing　as　a　joke；　whatever　it　was；　for　I　dreaded　to　hear。

But　Stagers　was　fate。　Stagers　was　inevitable。　‘‘Won't　do；　docnot　even　money　wouldn't　get　you　off。''

‘‘No？''　said　I；　interrogatively；　and　as　coolly　as　I　could；　contriving　at　the　same　time　to　move　toward　the　window。　It　was　summer；　the　sashes　were　up；　the　shutters　half　drawn　in；　and　a　policeman　whom　I　knew　was　lounging　　opposite；　as　I　had　noticed　when　I　entered。　I　would　give　Stagers　a　scare；　charge　him　with　theftanything　but　get　mixed　up　with　his　kind　again。　It　was　the　folly　of　a　moment　and　I　should　have　paid　dear　for　it。

He　must　have　understood　me；　the　scoundrel；　for　in　an　instant　I　felt　a　cold　ring　of　steel　against　my　ear；　and　a　tiger　clutch　on　my　cravat。　‘‘Sit　down；''　he　said。　‘‘What　a　fool　you　are！　Guess　you　forgot　that　there　coroner's　business　and　the　rest。''　Needless　to　say　that　I　obeyed。　‘‘Best　not　try　that　again；''　continued　my　guest。　‘‘Wait　a　moment''；　and　rising；　he　closed　the　window。

There　was　no　resource　left　but　to　listen；　and　what　followed　I　shall　condense　rather　than　relate　it　in　the　language　employed　by　Mr。　Stagers。

It　appeared　that　my　other　acquaintance　Mr。　File　had　been　guilty　of　a　cold…blooded　and　long…premeditated　murder；　for　which　he　had　been　tried　and　convicted。　He　now　lay　in　jail　awaiting　his　execution；　which　was　to　take　place　at　Carsonville；　Ohio。　It　seemed　that　with　Stagers　and　others　he　had　formed　a　band　of　expert　counterfeiters　in　the　West。　Their　business　lay　in　the　manufacture　of　South　American　currencies。　File　had　thus　　acquired　a　fortune　so　considerable　that　I　was　amazed　at　his　having　allowed　his　passion　to　seduce　him　into　unprofitable　crime。　In　his　agony　he　unfortunately　thought　of　me；　and　had　bribed　Stagers　largely　in　order　that　he　might　be　induced　to　find　me。　When　the　narration　had　reached　this　stage；　and　I　had　been　made　fully　to　understand　that　I　was　now　and　hereafter　under　the　sharp　eye　of　Stagers　and　his　friends；　that；　in　a　word；　escape　was　out　of　the　question；　I　turned　on　my　tormentor。

‘‘What　does　all　this　mean？''　I　said。　‘‘What　does　File　expect　me　to　do？''

‘‘Don't　believe　he　exactly　knows；''　said　Stagers。　‘‘Something　or　other　to　get　him　clear　of　hemp。''

‘‘But　what　stuff！''　I　replied。　‘‘How　can　I　help　him？　What　possible　influence　could　I　exert？''

‘‘Can't　say；''　answered　Stagers；　imperturbably。　‘‘File　has　a　notion　you're　'most　cunning　enough　for　anything。　Best　try　something；　doc。''

‘‘And　what　if　I　won't　do　it？''　said　I。　‘‘What　does　it　matter　to　me　if　the　rascal　swings　or　no？''

‘‘Keep　cool；　doc；''　returned　Stagers。　‘‘I'm　only　agent　in　this　here　business。　My　principal；　that's　File；　he　says：　‘Tell　Sanderaft　to　find　some　way　to　get　me　clear。　Once　out；　I　give　him　ten　thousand　dollars。　If　he　don't　turn　up　something　that　will　suit；　I'll　blow　about　that　coroner　business　and　Lou　Wilson；　and　break　him　up　generally。'　''

‘‘You　don't　mean；''　said　I；　in　a　cold　sweat　‘‘you　don't　mean　that；　if　I　can't　do　this　impossible　thing；　he　will　inform　on　me？''

‘‘Just　so；''　returned　Stagers。　‘‘Got　a　cigar；　doc？''

I　only　half　heard　him。　What　a　frightful　position！　I　had　been　leading　a　happy　and　an　increasingly　profitable　lifeno　scrapes　and　no　dangers；　and　here；　on　a　sudden；　I　had　presented　to　me　the　alternative　of　saving　a　wretch　from　the　gallows　or　of　spending　unlimited　years　in　a　State　penitentiary。　As　for　the　money；　it　became　as　dead　leaves　for　this　once　only　in　my　life。　My　brain　seemed　to　be　spinning　round。　I　grew　weak　all　over。

‘‘Cheer　up　a　little；''　said　Stagers。　‘‘Take　a　nip　of　whisky。　Things　ain't　at　the　worst；　by　a　good　bit。　You　just　get　ready；　and　we'll　start　by　the　morning　train。　Guess　you'll　try　out　something　smart　enough　as　we　travel　along。　Ain't　got　a　heap　of　time　to　lose。''

I　was　silent。　A　great　anguish　had　me　in　its　grip。　I　might　squirm　as　I　would；　it　was　all　in　vain。　Hideous　plans　rose　to　my　mind；　born　of　this　agony　of　terror。　I　might　murder　Stagers；　but　what　good　would　that　do？　As　to　File；　he　was　safe　from　my　hand。　At　last　I　became　too　confused　to　think　any　longer。　‘‘When　do　we　leave？''　I　said　feebly。

‘‘At　six　to…morrow；''　he　returned。

How　I　was　watched　and　guarded；　and　how　hurried　over　a　thousand　miles　of　rail　to　my　fate；　little　concerns　us　now。　I　find　it　dreadful　to　recall　it　to　memory。　Above　all；　an　aching　eagerness　for　revenge　upon　the　man　who　had　caused　me　these　sufferings　was　uppermost　in　my　mind。　Could　I　not　fool　the　wretch　and　save　myself？　Of　a　sudden　an　idea　came　into　my　consciousness。　Then　it　grew　and　formed　itself；　became　possible；　probable；　seemed　to　me　sure。　‘‘Ah；''　said　I；　‘‘Stagers；　give　me　something　to　eat　and　drink。''　I　had　not　tasted　food　for　two　days。

Within　a　day　or　two　after　my　arrival；　I　was　enabled　to　see　File　in　his　cell；　on　the　plea　of　being　a　clergyman　from　his　native　place。

I　found　that　I　had　not　miscalculated　my　danger。　The　man　did　not　appear　to　have　the　　least　idea　as　to　how　I　was　to　help　him。　He　only　knew　that　I　was　in　his　power；　and　he　used　his　control　to　insure　that　something　more　potent　than　friendship　should　be　enlisted　in　his　behalf。　As　the　days　went　by；　his　behavior　grew　to　be　a　frightful　thing　to　witness。　He　threatened；　flattered；　implored；　offered　to　double　the　sum　he　had　promised　if　I　would　save　him。　My　really　reasonable　first　thought　was　to　see　the　governor　of　the　State；　and；　as　Stagers's　former　physician；　make　oath　to　his　having　had　many　attacks　of　epilepsy　followed　by　brief　periods　of　homicidal　mania。　He　had；　in　fact；　had　fits　of　alcoholic　epilepsy。　Unluckily；　the　governor　was　in　a　distant　city。　The　time　was　short；　and　the　case　against　my　man　too　clear。　Stagers　said　it　would　not　do。　I　was　at　my　wit's　end。　‘‘Got　to　do　something；''　said　File；　‘‘or　I'll　attend　to　your　case；　doc。''

‘‘But；''　said　I；　‘‘suppose　there　is　really　nothing？''

‘‘Well；''　said　Stagers　to　me　when　we　were　alone；　‘‘you　get　him　satisfied；　anyhow。　He'll　never　let　them　hang　him；　and　perhapswell；　I'm　going　to　give　him　these　pills　when　I　get　a　chance。　He　asked　to　have　them。　But　what's　your　other　plan？''

Stagers　knew　as　much　about　medicine　as　a　pig　knows　about　the　opera。　So　I　set　to　work　to　delude　him；　first　asking　if　he　could　secure　me；　as　a　clergyman；　an　hour　alone　with　File　just　before　the　execution。　He　said　money　would　do　it；　and　what　was　my　plan？

‘‘Well；''　said　I；　‘‘there　was　once　a　man　named　Dr。　Chovet。　He　lived　in　London。　A　gentleman　who　turned　highwayman　was　to　be　hanged。　You　see；''　said　I；　‘‘this　was　about　1760。　Well；　his　friends　bribed　the　jailer　and　the　hangman。　The　doctor　cut　a　hole　in　the　man's　windpipe；　very　low　down　where　it　could　be　partly　hid　by　a　loose　cravat。　So；　as　they　hanged　him　only　a　little　while；　and　the　breath　went　in　and　out　of　the　opening　below　the　noose；　he　was　only　just　insensible　when　his　friends　got　him''

‘‘And　he　got　well；''　cried　Stagers；　much　pleased　with　my　rather　melodramatic　tale。

‘‘Yes；''　I　said；　‘‘he　got　well；　and　lived　to　take　purses；　all　dressed　in　white。　People　had　known　him　well；　and　when　he　robbed　his　great…aunt；　who　was　not　in　the　secret；　she　swore　she　had　seen　his　ghost。''

Stagers　said　that　was　a　fine　story；　guessed　it　would　work；　small　town；　new　business；　lots　of　money　to　use。　In　fact；　the　attempt　thus　to　　save　a　man　is　said　to　have　been　made；　but；　by　ill　luck；　the　man　did　not　recover。　It　answered　my　purpose；　but　how　any　one；　even　such　an　ass　as　this　fellow；　could　believe　it　could　succeed　puzzles　me　to　this　day。

File　became　enthusiastic　over　my　scheme；　and　I　cordially　assisted　his　credulity。　The　thing　was　to　keep　the　wretch　quiet　until　the　business　blew　up　orand　I　shuddered　until　File；　in　despair；　took　hi