my mark twain-第5部分

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obtrude　the　fact　upon　you；　but　if　it　were　in　the　way　of　personal　history
he　would　not　dream　of　withholding　it；　far　less　of　hiding　it。

He　was　the　readiest　of　men　to　allow　an　error　if　he　were　found　in　it。　　In
one　of　our　walks　about　Hartford；　when　he　was　in　the　first　fine　flush　of
his　agnosticism；　be　declared　that　Christianity　had　done　nothing　to
improve　morals　and　conditions；　and　that　the　world　under　the　highest　pagan
civilization　was　as　well　off　as　it　was　under　the　highest　Christian
influences。　　I　happened　to　be　fresh　from　the　reading　of　Charles　Loring
Brace's　'Gesta　Christi'；　or；　'History　of　Humane　Progress'；　and　I　could
offer　him　abundant　proofs　that　he　was　wrong。　　He　did　not　like　that
evidently；　but　he　instantly　gave　way；　saying　be　had　not　known　those
things。　　Later　be　was　more　tolerant　in　his　denials　of　Christianity；　but
just　then　he　was　feeling　his　freedom　from　it；　and　rejoicing　in　having
broken　what　he　felt　to　have　been　the　shackles　of　belief　worn　so　long。
He　greatly　admired　Robert　Ingersoll；　whom　he　called　an　angelic　orator；
and　regarded　as　an　evangel　of　a　new　gospelthe　gospel　of　free　thought。；
He　took　the　warmest　interest　in　the　newspaper　controversy　raging　at　the
time　as　to　the　existence　of　a　hell；　when　the　noes　carried　the　day；　I
suppose　that　no　enemy　of　perdition　was　more　pleased。　　He　still　loved　his
old　friend　and　pastor；　Mr。　Twichell；　but　he　no　longer　went　to　hear　him
preach　his　sage　and　beautiful　sermons；　and　was；　I　think；　thereby　the
greater　loser。　　Long　before　that　I　had　asked　him　if　he　went　regularly　to
church；　and　he　groaned　out：　〃Oh　yes；　I　go。　　It　'most　kills　me；　but　I　go；〃
and　I　did　not　need　his　telling　me　to　understand　that　he　went　because　his
wife　wished　it。　　He　did　tell　me；　after　they　both　ceased　to　go；　that　it
had　finally　come　to　her　saying；　〃Well；　if　you　are　to　be　lost；　I　want　to
be　lost　with　you。〃　　He　could　accept　that　willingness　for　supreme
sacrifice　and　exult　in　it　because　of　the　supreme　truth　as　he　saw　it。
After　they　had　both　ceased　to　be　formal　Christians；　she　was　still　grieved
by　his　denial　of　immortality；　so　grieved　that　he　resolved　upon　one　of
those　heroic　lies；　which　for　love's　sake　he　held　above　even　the　truth；
and　he　went　to　her；　saying　that　he　had　been　thinking　the　whole　matter
over；　and　now　he　was　convinced　that　the　soul　did　live　after　death。　　It
was　too　late。　　Her　keen　vision　pierced　through　his　ruse；　as　it　did　when
he　brought　the　doctor　who　had　diagnosticated　her　case　as　organic　disease
of　the　heart；　and；　after　making　him　go　over　the　facts　of　it　again　with
her；　made　him　declare　it　merely　functional。

To　make　an　end　of　these　records　as　to　Clemens's　beliefs；　so　far　as　I　knew
them；　I　should　say　that　he　never　went　back　to　anything　like　faith　in　the
Christian　theology；　or　in　the　notion　of　life　after　death；　or　in　a
conscious　divinity。　　It　is　best　to　be　honest　in　this　matter；　he　would
have　hated　anything　else；　and　I　do　not　believe　that　the　truth　in　it　can
hurt　any　one。　　At　one　period　he　argued　that　there　must　have　been　a　cause；
a　conscious　source　of　things；　that　the　universe　could　not　have　come　by
chance。　　I　have　heard　also　that　in　his　last　hours　or　moments　he　said；　or
his　dearest　ones　hoped　he　had　said；　something　about　meeting　again。　　But
the　expression；　of　which　they　could　not　be　certain；　was　of　the　vaguest；
and　it　was　perhaps　addressed　to　their　tenderness　out　of　his　tenderness。
All　his　expressions　to　me　were　of　a　courageous；　renunciation　of　any　hope
of　living　again；　or　elsewhere　seeing　those　he　had　lost。　　He　suffered
terribly　in　their　loss；　and　he　was　not　fool　enough　to　try　ignoring　his
grief。　　He　knew　that　for　this　there　were　but　two　medicines；　that　it　would
wear　itself　out　with　the　years；　and　that　meanwhile　there　was　nothing　for
it　but　those　respites　in　which　the　mourner　forgets　himself　in　slumber。
I　remember　that　in　a　black　hour　of　my　own　when　I　was　called　down　to　see
him；　as　he　thought　from　sleep；　he　said　with　an　infinite；　an　exquisite
compassion；　〃Oh；　did　I　wake　you；　did　I　wake；　you？〃　　Nothing　more；　but　the
look；　the　voice；　were　everything；　and　while　I　live　they　cannot　pass　from
my　sense。




IX。

He　was　the　most　caressing　of　men　in　his　pity；　but　he　had　the　fine
instinct；　which　would　have　pleased　Lowell；　of　never　putting　his　hands　on
youfine；　delicate　hands；　with　taper　fingers；　and　pink　nails；　like　a
girl's；　and　sensitively　quivering　in　moments　of　emotion；　he　did　not　paw
you　with　them　to　show　his　affection；　as　so　many　of　us　Americans　are　apt
to　do。　　Among　the　half…dozen；　or　half…hundred；　personalities　that　each　of
us　becomes；　I　should　say　that　Clemens's　central　and　final　personality　was
something　exquisite。　　His　casual　acquaintance　might　know　him；　perhaps；
from　his　fierce　intensity；　his　wild　pleasure　in　shocking　people　with　his
ribaldries　and　profanities；　or　from　the　mere　need　of　loosing　his
rebellious　spirit　in　that　way；　as　anything　but　exquisite；　and　yet　that
was　what　in　the　last　analysis　he　was。　　They　might　come　away　loathing　or
hating　him；　but　one　could　not　know　him　well　without　realizing　him　the
most　serious；　the　most　humane；　the　most　conscientious　of　men。　　He　was
Southwestern；　and　born　amid　the　oppression　of　a　race　that　had　no　rights
as　against　ours；　but　I　never　saw　a　man　more　regardful　of　negroes。　　He　had
a　yellow　butler　when　I　first　began　to　know　him；　because　he　said　he　could
not　bear　to　order　a　white　man　about；　but　the　terms　of　his　ordering　George
were　those　of　the　softest　entreaty　which　command　ever　wore。　　He　loved　to
rely　upon　George；　who　was　such　a　broken　reed　in　some　things；　though　so
stanch　in　others；　and　the　fervent　Republican　in　politics　that　Clemens
then　liked　him　to　be。　　He　could　interpret　Clemens's　meaning　to　the　public
without　conveying　his　mood；　and　could　render　his　roughest　answer　smooth
to　the　person　denied　his　presence。　　His　general　instructions　were　that
this　presence　was　to　be　denied　all　but　personal　friends；　but　the　soft
heart　of　George　was　sometimes　touched　by　importunity；　and　once　he　came　up
into　the　billiard…room　saying　that　Mr。　Smith　wished　to　see　Clemens。　　Upon
inquiry；　Mr。　Smith　developed　no　ties　of　friendship；　and　Clemens　said；
〃You　go　and　tell　Mr。　Smith　that　I　wouldn't　come　down　to　see　the　Twelve
Apostles。〃　　George　turned　from　the　threshold　where　he　had　kept　himself；
and　framed　a　paraphrase　of　this　message　which　apparently　sent　Mr。　Smith
away　content　with　himself　and　all　the　rest　of　the　world。

The　part　of　him　that　was　Western　in　his　Southwestern　origin　Clemens　kept
to　the　end；　but　he　was　the　most　desouthernized　Southerner　I　ever　knew。
No　man　more　perfectly　sensed　and　more　entirely　abhorred　slavery；　and　no
one　has　ever　poured　such　scorn　upon　the　second…hand；　Walter…Scotticized；
pseudo…chivalry　of　the　Southern　ideal。　　He　held　himself　responsible　for
the　wrong　which　the　white　race　had　done　the　black　race　in　slavery；　and　he
explained；　in　paying　the　way　of　a　negro　student　through　Yale；　that　he　was
doing　it　as　his　part　of　the　reparation　due　from　every　white　to　every
black　man。　　He　said　he　had　never　seen　this　student；　nor　ever　wished　to
see　him　or　know　his　name；　it　was　quite　enough　that　he　was　a　negro。　　About
that　time　a　colored　cadet　was　expelled　from　West　Point　for　some　point　of
conduct　〃unbecoming　an　officer　and　gentleman；〃　and　there　was　the　usual
shabby　philosophy　in　a　portion　of　the　press　to　the　effect　that　a　negro
could　never　feel　the　claim　of　honor。　　The　man　was　fifteen　parts　white；
but；　〃Oh　yes；〃　Clemens　said；　with　bitter　irony；　〃it　was　that　one　part
black　that　undid　him。〃　　It　made　him　a　〃nigger〃　and　incapable　of　being　a
gentleman。　　It　was　to　blame　for　the　whole　thing。　　The　fifteen　parts　white
were　guiltless。

Clemens　was　entirely　satisfied　with　the　result　of　the　Civil　War；　and　he
was　eager　to　have　its　facts　and　meanings　brought　out　at　once　in　history。
He　ridiculed　the　notion；　held　by　many；　that　〃it　was　not　yet　time〃　to
philosophize　the　events　of　the　great　struggle；　that　we　must　〃wait　till
its　passions　had　cooled；〃　and　〃the　clouds　of　strife　had　cleared　away。〃
He　maintained　that　the　time　would　never　come　when　we　should　see　its
motives　and　men　and　deeds　more　clearly；　and　that　now；　now；　was　the　hour
to　ascertain　them　in　lasting　verity。　　Picturesquely　and　dramatically　he
portrayed　the　imbecility　of　deferring　the　inquiry　at　any　point　to　the
distance　of　future　years　when　inevitably　the　facts　would　begin　to　put　on
fable。

He　had　powers　of　sarcasm　and　a　relentless　rancor　in　his　contempt　which
those　who　knew　him　best　appreciated　most。　　The　late　Noah　Brooks；　who　had
been　in　California　at　the　beginning　of　Clemens's　career；　and　had
witnessed　the　effect　of　his　ridicule　before　he　had　learned　to　temper　it；
once　said　to　me　that　he　would　rather　have　any　one　else　in　the　world　down
on　him　than　Mark　Twain。　　But　as　Clemens　grew　older　he　grew　more　merciful；
not　to　the　wrong；　but　to　the　men　who　were　in　it。　　The　wrong　was　often　the
source　of　his　wildest　drolling。　　He　considered　it　in　such　hopelessness　of
ever　doing　it　justice　that　his　despair　broke　in　laughter。




X。

I　go　back　to　that　house　in　Hartford；　where　I　was　so　often　a　happy　guest；
with　tenderness　for　each　of　its　endearing　aspects。　　Over　the　chimney　in
the　library　which　had　been　cured　of　smoking　by　so　much　art　and　science；
Clemens　had　written　in　perennial　brass　the　words　of　Emerson；　〃The
ornament　of　a　house　is　the　friends　who　frequent　it；〃　and　he　gave　his
guests　a　welcome　of　the　simplest　and　sweetest　cordiality：　but　I　must　not
go　aside　to　them　from　my　recollections　of　him；　which　will　be　of
sufficient　garrulity；　if　I　give　them　as　fully　as　I　wish。　　The　windows　of
the　library　looked　northward　from　the　hillside　above　which　the　house
stood；　and　over　the　little　valley　with　the　stream　in　it；　and　they　showed
the　leaves　of　the　trees　that　almost　brushed　them　as　in　a　Claude　Lorraine
glass。　　To　the　eastward　the　dining…room　opened　amply；　and　to　the　south
there　was　a　wide　hall；　where　the　voices　of　friends　made　themselves　heard
as　they　entered　without　ceremony　and　answered　his　joyous　hail。　　At　the
west　was　a　little　semicircular　conservatory　of　a　pattern　invented　by　Mrs。
Harriet　Beecher　Stowe；　and　adopted　in　most　of　the　houses　of　her　kindly
neighborhood。　　The　plants　were　set　in　the　grou