lectures11-13-第15部分

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The　tyrannical　drug　is　still　an　anchor　to　windward：　　he　hides



supplies　of　it　among　his　clothing；　arranges　secretly　to　have　it



smuggled　in　in　case　of　need。　　Even　so　an　incompletely　regenerate



man　still　trusts　in　his　own　expedients。　　His　money　is　like　the



sleeping　potion　which　the　chronically　wakeful　patient　keeps



beside　his　bed；　he　throws　himself　on　God；　but　IF　he　should　need



the　other　help；　there　it　will　be　also。　　Every　one　knows　cases　of



this　incomplete　and　ineffective　desire　for　reform…drunkards　whom；



with　all　their　self…reproaches　and　resolves；　one　perceives　to　be



quite　unwilling　seriously　to　contemplate　NEVER　being　drunk　again！



Really　to　give　up　anything　on　which　we　have　relied；　to　give　it　up



definitely；　〃for　good　and　all〃　and　forever；　signifies　one　of



those　radical　alterations　of　character　which　came　under　our



notice　in　the　lectures　on　conversion。　In　it　the　inner　man　rolls



over　into　an　entirely　different　position　of　equilibrium；　lives　in



a　new　centre　of　energy　from　this　time　on；　and　the　turning…point



and　hinge　of　all　such　operations　seems　usually　to　involve　the



sincere　acceptance　of　certain　nakednesses　and　destitutions。







Accordingly；　throughout　the　annals　of　the　saintly　life；　we　find



this　ever…recurring　note：　　Fling　yourself　upon　God's　providence



without　making　any　reserve　whatevertake　no　thought　for　the



morrowsell　all　you　have　and　give　it　to　the　pooronly　when　the



sacrifice　is　ruthless　and　reckless　will　the　higher　safety　really



arrive。　　As　a　concrete　example　let　me　read　a　page　from　the



biography　of　Antoinette　Bourignon；　a　good　woman；　much　persecuted



in　her　day　by　both　Protestants　and　Catholics；　because　she　would



not　take　her　religion　at　second　hand。　　When　a　young　girl；　in　her



father's　house







〃She　spent　whole　nights　in　prayer；　oft　repeating：　　Lord；　what



wilt　thou　have　me　to　do？　　And　being　one　night　in　a　most　profound



penitence；　she　said　from　the　bottom　of　her　heart：　　'O　my　Lord！



What　must　I　do　to　please　thee？　　For　I　have　nobody　to　teach　me。　



Speak　to　my　soul　and　it　will　hear　thee。'　At　that　instant　she



heard；　as　if　another　had　spoke　within　her：　　Forsake　all　earthly



things。　　Separate　thyself　from　the　love　of　the　creatures。　Deny



thyself。　　She　was　quite　astonished；　not　understanding　this



language；　and　mused　long　on　these　three　points；　thinking　how　she



could　fulfill　them。　　She　thought　she　could　not　live　without



earthly　things；　nor　without　loving　the　creatures；　nor　without



loving　herself。　　Yet　she　said；　'By　thy　Grace　I　will　do　it；　Lord！'



But　when　she　would　perform　her　promise；　she　knew　not　where　to



begin。　　Having　thought　on　the　religious　in　monasteries；　that　they



forsook　all　earthly　things　by　being　shut　up　in　a　cloister；　and



the　love　of　themselves　by　subjecting　of　their　wills；　she　asked



leave　of　her　father　to　enter　into　a　cloister　of　the　barefoot



Carmelites；　but　he　would　not　permit　it；　saying　he　would　rather



see　her　laid　in　her　grave。　　This　seemed　to　her　a　great　cruelty；



for　she　thought　to　find　in　the　cloister　the　true　Christians　she



had　been　seeking；　but　she　found　afterwards　that　he　knew　the



cloisters　better　than　she；　for　after　he　had　forbidden　her；　and



told　her　he　would　never　permit　her　to　be　a　religious；　nor　give



her　any　money　to　enter　there；　yet　she　went　to　Father　Laurens；　the



Director；　and　offered　to　serve　in　the　monastery　and　work　hard　for



her　bread；　and　be　content　with　little；　if　he　would　receive　her。



At　which　he　smiled　and　said：　　That　cannot　be。　　We　must　have　money



to　build；　we　take　no　maids　without　money；　you　must　find　the　way



to　get　it；　else　there　is　no　entry　here。







〃This　astonished　her　greatly；　and　she　was　thereby　undeceived　as



to　the　cloisters；　resolving　to　forsake　all　company　and　live　alone



till　it　should　please　God　to　show　her　what　she　ought　to　do　and



whither　to　go。　　She　asked　always　earnestly；　'When　shall　I　be



perfectly　thine；　O　my　God？'　And　she　thought　he　still　answered



her；　When　thou　shalt　no　longer　possess　anything；　and　shalt　die　to



thyself。　　'And　where　shall　I　do　that；　Lord？'　He　answered　her；　In



the　desert。　　This　made　so　strong　an　impression　on　her　soul　that



she　aspired　after　this；　but　being　a　maid　of　eighteen　years　only；



she　was　afraid　of　unlucky　chances；　and　was　never　used　to　travel；



and　knew　no　way。　　She　laid　aside　all　these　doubts　and　said；



'Lord；　thou　wilt　guide　me　how　and　where　it　shall　please　thee。　　It



is　for　thee　that　I　do　it。　　I　will　lay　aside　my　habit　of　a　maid；



and　will　take　that　of　a　hermit　that　I　may　pass　unknown。'　Having



then　secretly　made　ready　this　habit；　while　her　parents　thought　to



have　married　her；　her　father　having　promised　her　to　a　rich　French



merchant；　she　prevented　the　time；　and　on　Easter　evening；　having



cut　her　hair；　put　on　the　habit；　and　slept　a　little；　she　went　out



of　her　chamber　about　four　in　the　morning；　taking　nothing　but　one



penny　to　buy　bread　for　that　day。　　And　it　being　said　to　her　in



going　out；　Where　is　thy　faith？　　in　a　penny？　　she　threw　it　away；



begging　pardon　of　God　for　her　fault；　and　saying；　'No；　Lord；　my



faith　is　not　in　a　penny；　but　in　thee　alone。'　　Thus　she　went　away



wholly　delivered　from　the　heavy　burthen　of　the　cares　and　good



things　of　this　world；　and　found　her　soul　so　satisfied　that　she　no



longer　wished　for　anything　upon　earth；　resting　entirely　upon　God；



with　this　only　fear　lest　she　should　be　discovered　and　be　obliged



to　return　home；　for　she　felt　already　more　content　in　this　poverty



than　she　had　done　for　all　her　life　in　all　the　delights　of　the



world。〃＇196＇







＇196＇　An　Apology　for　M。　Antonia　Bourignon；　London；　1699；　pp。　269；



270；　abridged。















Another　example　from　Starbuck's　MS。　collection：







〃At　a　meeting　held　at　six　the　next　morning；　I　heard　a　man　relate



his　experience。　　He　said：　　The　Lord　asked　him　if　he　would



confess　Christ　among　the　quarrymen　with　whom　he　worked；　and　he



said　he　would。　　Then　he　asked　him　if　he　would　give　up　to　be　used



of　the　Lord　the　four　hundred　dollars　he　had　laid　up；　and　he　said



he　would　and　thus　the　Lord　saved　him。　　The　thought　came　to　me　at



once　that　I　had　never　made　a　real　consecration　either　of　myself



or　of　my　property　to　the　Lord；　but　had　always　tried　to　serve　the



Lord　in　my　way。　　Now　the　Lord　asked　me　if　I　would　serve　him　in



HIS　way；　and　go　out　alone　and　penniless　if　he　so　ordered。　　The



question　was　pressed　home；　and　I　must　decide：　　To　forsake　all　and



have　him；　or　have　all　and　lose　him！　　I　soon　decided　to　take　him；



and　the　blessed　assurance　came；　that　he　had　taken　me　for　his　own；



and　my　joy　was　full。　　I　returned　home　from　the　meeting　with



feelings　as　simple　as　a　child。　　I　thought　all　would　be　glad　to



hear　of　the　joy　of　the　Lord　that　possessed　me；　and　so　I　began　to



tell　the　simple　story。　　But　to　my　great　surprise；　the　pastors



（for　I　attended　meetings　in　three　churches）　opposed　the



experience　and　said　it　was　fanaticism；　and　one　told　the　members



of　his　church　to　shun　those　that　professed　it；　and　I　soon　found



that　my　foes　were　those　of　my　own　household。〃







The　penny　was　a　small　financial　safeguard；　but　an　effective



spiritual　obstacle。　　Not　till　it　was　thrown　away　could　the



character　settle　into　the　new　equilibrium　completely。







Over　and　above　the　mystery　of　self…surrender；　there　are　in　the



cult　of　poverty　other　religious　mysteries。　　There　is　the　mystery



of　veracity：　　〃Naked　came　I　into　the　world；〃　etc。　whoever　first



said　that；　possessed　this　mystery。　　My　own　bare　entity　must　fight



the　battleshams　cannot　save　me。　　There　is　also　the　mystery　of



democracy；　or　sentiment　of　the　equality　before　God　of　all　his



creatures。　　This　sentiment　（which　seems　in　general　to　have　been



more　widespread　in　Mohammedan　than　in　Christian　lands）　tends　to



nullify　man's　usual　acquisitiveness。　　Those　who　have　it　spurn



dignities　and　honors；　privileges　and　advantages；　preferring；　as　I



said　in　a　former　lecture；　to　grovel　on　the　common　level　before



the　face　of　God。　　It　is　not　exactly　the　sentiment　of　humility；



though　it　comes　so　close　to　it　in　practice。　　It　is　HUMANITY；



rather；　refusing　to　enjoy　anything　that　others　do　not　share。　A



profound　moralist；　writing　of　Christ's　saying；　〃Sell　all　thou



hast　and　follow　me；〃　proceeds　as　follows：







〃Christ　may　have　meant：　　If　you　love　mankind　absolutely　you　will



as　a　result　not　care　for　any　possessions　whatever；　and　this　seems



a　very　likely　proposition。　　But　it　is　one　thing　to　believe　that　a



proposition　is　probably　true；　it　is　another　thing　to　see　it　as　a



fact。　　If　you　loved　mankind　as　Christ　loved　them；　you　would　see



his　conclusion　as　a　fact。　　It　would　be　obvious。　　You　would　sell



your　goods；　and　they　would　be　no　loss　to　you。　　These　truths；



while　literal　to　Christ；　and　to　any　mind　that　has　Christ's　love



for　mankind；　become　parables　to　lesser　natures。　　There　are　in



every　generation　people　who；　beginning　innocently；　with　no



predetermined　intention　of　becoming　saints；　find　themselves　drawn



into　the　vortex　by　their　interest　in　helping　mankind；　and　by　the



understanding　that　comes　from　actually　doing　it。　　The　abandonment



of　their　old　mode　of　life　is　like　dust　in　the　balance。　　It　is



done　gradually；　incidentally；　imperceptibly。　　Thus　the　whole



question　of　the　abandonment　of　luxury　is　no　question　at　all；　but



a　mere　incident　to　another　question；　namely；　the　degree　to　which



we　abandon　ourselves　to　the　remorseless　logic　of　our　love　for



others。〃＇197＇







＇197＇　J。　J。　Cha