the make-believe man-第1部分

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The　Make…Believe　Man

by　Richard　Harding　Davis




I


I　had　made　up　my　mind　that　when　my　vacation　came　I　would　spend　it
seeking　adventures。　　I　have　always　wished　for　adventures；　but；
though　I　am　old　enoughI　was　twenty…five　last　Octoberand　have
always　gone　half…way　to　meet　them；　adventures　avoid　me。　　Kinney
says　it　is　my　fault。　　He　holds　that　if　you　want　adventures　you　must
go　after　them。

Kinney　sits　next　to　me　at　Joyce　&　Carboy's；　the　woollen
manufacturers；　where　I　am　a　stenographer；　and　Kinney　is　a　clerk；
and　we　both　have　rooms　at　Mrs。　Shaw's　boarding…house。　　Kinney　is
only　a　year　older　than　myself；　but　he　is　always　meeting　with
adventures。　　At　night；　when　I　have　sat　up　late　reading　law；　so　that
I　may　fit　myself　for　court　reporting；　and　in　the　hope　that　some　day
I　may　become　a　member　of　the　bar；　he　will　knock　at　my　door　and　tell
me　some　surprising　thing　that　has　just　happened　to　him。　　Sometimes
he　has　followed　a　fire…engine　and　helped　people　from　a　fire…escape；
or　he　has　pulled　the　shield　off　a　policeman；　or　at　the　bar　of　the
Hotel　Knickerbocker　has　made　friends　with　a　stranger；　who　turns　out
to　be　no　less　than　a　nobleman　or　an　actor。　　And　women；　especially
beautiful　women；　are　always　pursuing　Kinney　in　taxicabs　and　calling
upon　him　for　assistance。　　Just　to　look　at　Kinney；　without　knowing
how　clever　he　is　at　getting　people　out　of　their　difficulties；　he
does　not　appear　to　be　a　man　to　whom　you　would　turn　in　time　of
trouble。　　You　would　think　women　in　distress　would　appeal　to　some
one　bigger　and　stronger；　would　sooner　ask　a　policeman。　　But；　on　the
contrary；　it　is　to　Kinney　that　women　always　run；　especially；　as　I
have　said；　beautiful　women。　　Nothing　of　the　sort　ever　happens　to
me。　　I　suppose；　as　Kinney　says；　it　is　because　he　was　born　and
brought　up　in　New　York　City　and　looks　and　acts　like　a　New　York　man；
while　I；　until　a　year　ago；　have　always　lived　at　Fairport。　　Fairport
is　a　very　pretty　harbor；　but　it　does　not　train　one　for　adventures。
We　arranged　to　take　our　vacation　at　the　same　time；　and　together。
At　least　Kinney　so　arranged　it。　　I　see　a　good　deal　of　him；　and　in
looking　forward　to　my　vacation；　not　the　least　pleasant　feature　of
it　was　that　everything　connected　with　Joyce　&　Carboy　and　Mrs。
Shaw's　boarding…house　would　be　left　behind　me。　　But　when　Kinney
proposed　we　should　go　together；　I　could　not　see　how；　without　being
rude；　I　could　refuse　his　company；　and　when　he　pointed　out　that　for
an　expedition　in　search　of　adventure　I　could　not　select　a　better
guide；　I　felt　that　he　was　right。

〃Sometimes；〃　he　said；　〃I　can　see　you　don't　believe　that　half　the
things　I　tell　you　have　happened　to　me；　really　have　happened。　　Now；
isn't　that　so？〃

To　find　the　answer　that　would　not　hurt　his　feelings　I　hesitated；
but　he　did　not　wait　for　my　answer。　　He　seldom　does。

〃Well；〃　on　this　trip；〃　he　went　on；　〃you　will　see　Kinney　on　the　job。
You　won't　have　to　take　my　word　for　it。　　You　will　see　adventures
walk　up　and　eat　out　of　my　hand。〃

Our　vacation　came　on　the　first　of　September；　but　we　began　to　plan
for　it　in　April；　and　up　to　the　night　before　we　left　New　York　we
never　ceased　planning。　　Our　difficulty　was　that　having　been　brought
up　at　Fairport；　which　is　on　the　Sound；　north　of　New　London；　I　was
homesick　for　a　smell　of　salt　marshes　and　for　the　sight　of　water　and
ships。　　Though　they　were　only　schooners　carrying　cement；　I　wanted
to　sit　in　the　sun　on　the　string…piece　of　a　wharf　and　watch　them。　　I
wanted　to　beat　about　the　harbor　in　a　catboat；　and　feel　the　tug　and
pull　of　the　tiller。　　Kinney　protested　that　that　was　no　way　to　spend
a　vacation　or　to　invite　adventure。　　His　face　was　set　against
Fairport。　　The　conversation　of　clam…diggers；　he　said；　did　not
appeal　to　him；　and　he　complained　that　at　Fairport　our　only　chance
of　adventure　would　be　my　capsizing　the　catboat　or　robbing　a
lobster…pot。　　He　insisted　we　should　go　to　the　mountains；　where　we
would　meet　what　he　always　calls　〃our　best　people。〃　　In　September；
he　explained；　everybody　goes　to　the　mountains　to　recuperate　after
the　enervating　atmosphere　of　the　sea…shore。　　To　this　I　objected
that　the　little　sea　air　we　had　inhaled　at　Mrs。　Shaw's　basement
dining…room　and　in　the　subway　need　cause　us　no　anxiety。　　And　so；
along　these　lines；　throughout　the　sleepless；　sultry　nights　of　June；
July；　and　August；　we　fought　it　out。　　There　was　not　a　summer　resort
within　five　hundred　miles　of　New　York　City　we　did　not　consider。
From　the　information　bureaus　and　passenger　agents　of　every　railroad
leaving　New　York；　Kinney　procured　a　library　of　timetables；　maps；
folders；　and　pamphlets；　illustrated　with　the　most　attractive
pictures　of　summer　hotels；　golf　links；　tennis　courts；　and　boat…
houses。　　For　two　months　he　carried　on　a　correspondence　with　the
proprietors　of　these　hotels；　and　in　comparing　the　different　prices
they　asked　him　for　suites　of　rooms　and　sun　parlors　derived　constant
satisfaction。

〃The　Outlook　House；〃　he　would　announce；　〃wants　twenty…four　dollars
a　day　for　bedroom；　parlor；　and　private　bath。　　While　for　the　same
accommodations　the　Carteret　Arms　asks　only　twenty。　　But　the
Carteret　has　no　tennis　court；　and　then　again；　the　Outlook　has　no
garage；　nor　are　dogs　allowed　in　the　bedrooms。〃

As　Kinney　could　not　play　lawn　tennis；　and　as　neither　of　us　owned　an
automobile　or　a　dog；　or　twenty…four　dollars；　these　details　to　me
seemed　superfluous；　but　there　was　no　health　in　pointing　that　out　to
Kinney。　　Because；　as　he　himself　says；　he　has　so　vivid　an
imagination　that　what　he　lacks　he　can　〃make　believe〃　he　has；　and
the　pleasure　of　possession　is　his。

Kinney　gives　a　great　deal　of　thought　to　his　clothes；　and　the
question　of　what　he　should　wear　on　his　vacation　was　upon　his　mind。
When　I　said　I　thought　it　was　nothing　to　worry　about；　he　snorted
indignantly。　　〃YOU　wouldn't！〃　he　said。　　〃If　I'D　been　brought　up　in
a　catboat；　and　had　a　tan　like　a　red　Indian；　and　hair　like　a
Broadway　blonde；　I　wouldn't　worry　either。　　Mrs。　Shaw　says　you　look
exactly　like　a　British　peer　in　disguise。〃　　I　had　never　seen　a
British　peer；　with　or　without　his　disguise；　and　I　admit　I　was
interested。

〃Why　are　the　girls　in　this　house；〃　demanded　Kinney；　〃always　running
to　your　room　to　borrow　matches？　　Because　they　admire　your　CLOTHES？
If　they're　crazy　about　clothes；　why　don't　they　come　to　ME　for
matches？〃

〃You　are　always　out　at　night；〃　I　said。

〃You　know　that's　not　the　answer；〃　he　protested。　　〃Why　do　the　type…
writer　girls　at　the　office　always　go　to　YOU　to　sharpen　their
pencils　and　tell　them　how　to　spell　the　hard　words？　　Why　do　the
girls　in　the　lunch…rooms　serve　you　first？　　Because　they're
hypnotized　by　your　clothes？　　Is　THAT　it？〃

〃Do　they？〃　I　asked；　〃I　hadn't　noticed。〃

Kinney　snorted　and　tossed　up　his　arms。　　〃He　hadn't　noticed！〃　he
kept　repeating。　　〃He　hadn't　noticed！〃　　For　his　vacation　Kinney
bought　a　second…hand　suit…case。　　It　was　covered　with　labels　of
hotels　in　France　and　Switzerland。

〃Joe；〃　I　said；　〃if　you　carry　that　bag　you　will　be　a　walking
falsehood。〃

Kinney's　name　is　Joseph　Forbes　Kinney；　he　dropped　the　Joseph
because　he　said　it　did　not　appear　often　enough　in　the　Social
Register；　and　could　be　found　only　in　the　Old　Testament；　and　he　has
asked　me　to　call　him　Forbes。　　Having　first　known　him　as　〃Joe；〃　I
occasionally　forget。

〃My　name　is　NOT　Joe；〃　he　said　sternly；　〃and　I　have　as　much　right　to
carry　a　second…hand　bag　as　a　new　one。　　The　bag　says　IT　has　been　to
Europe。　　It　does　not　say　that　I　have　been　there。〃

〃But；　you　probably　will；〃　I　pointed　out；　〃and　then　some　one　who　has
really　visited　those　places〃

〃Listen！〃　commanded　Kinney。　　〃If　you　want　adventures　you　must　be
somebody　of　importance。　　No　one　will　go　shares　in　an　adventure　with
Joe　Kinney；　a　twenty…dollar…a…week　clerk；　the　human　adding　machine；
the　hall…room　boy。　　But　Forbes　Kinney；　Esq。；　with　a　bag　from
Europe；　and　a　Harvard　ribbon　round　his　hat〃

〃Is　that　a　Harvard　ribbon　round　your　hat？〃　I　asked。

〃It　is！〃　declared　Kinney；　〃and　I　have　a　Yale　ribbon；　and　a　Turf
Club　ribbon；　too。　　They　come　on　hooks；　and　you　hook　'em　on　to　match
your　clothes；　or　the　company　you　keep。　　And；　what's　more；〃　he
continued；　with　some　heat；　〃I've　borrowed　a　tennis　racket　and　a
golf　bag　full　of　sticks；　and　you　take　care　you　don't　give　me　away。〃

〃I　see；〃　I　returned；　〃that　you　are　going　to　get　us　into　a　lot　of
trouble。〃

〃I　was　thinking；〃　said　Kinney；　looking　at　me　rather　doubtfully；　〃it
might　help　a　lot　if　for　the　first　week　you　acted　as　my　secretary；
and　during　the　second　week　I　was　your　secretary。〃

Sometimes；　when　Mr。　Joyce　goes　on　a　business　trip；　he　takes　me　with
him　as　his　private　stenographer；　and　the　change　from　office　work　is
very　pleasant；　but　I　could　not　see　why　I　should　spend　one　week　of
my　holiday　writing　letters　for　Kinney。

〃You　wouldn't　write　any　letters；〃　he　explained。　　〃But　if　I　could
tell　people　you　were　my　private　secretary；　it　would　naturally　give
me　a　certain　importance。〃

〃If　it　will　make　you　any　happier；〃　I　said；　〃you　can　tell　people　I
am　a　British　peer　in　disguise。〃

〃There　is　no　use　in　being　nasty　about　it；〃　protested　Kinney。　　〃I　am
only　trying　to　show　you　a　way　that　would　lead　to　adventure。〃

〃It　surely　would！〃　I　assented。　　〃It　would　lead　us　to　jail。〃

The　last　week　in　August　came；　and；　as　to　where　we　were　to　go　we
still　were　undecided；　I　suggested　we　leave　it　to　chance。

〃The　first　thing；〃　I　pointed　out；　〃is　to　get　away　from　this　awful
city。　　The　second　thing　is　to　get　away　cheaply。　　Let　us　write　down
the　names　of　the　summer　resorts　to　which　we　can　travel　by　rail　or
by　boat　for　two　dollars　and　put　them　in　a　hat。　　The　name　of　the
place　we　draw　will　be　the　one　for　which　we　start　Saturday
afternoon。　　The　idea；〃　I　urged；　〃is　in　itself　full　of　adventure。〃

Kinney　agreed；　but　reluctantly。　　What　chiefly　disturbed　him　was　the
thought　that　the　places　near　New　York　to　which　one　could　travel　for
so　little　money　were　not　likely　to　be　fashionable。

〃I　have　a　terrible　fear；〃　he　declared；　〃that；　with　this　limit　of
yours；　we　will　wake　up　in　Asbury　Park。〃

Friday　night　came　and　found　us　prepared　for　departure；　and　at
midnight　we　held　our　lottery。　　In　a　pillow…case　we　placed　twenty
slips　of　paper；　on　each　of　which　was　written　the　name　of　a　su