the sorrows of young werther(少年维特的烦恼)-第12部分

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constantly　returns　my　papers　to　me；　saying；　〃They　will　do；〃　but
recommending　me　to　look　over　them　again；　as　〃one　may　always　improve
by　using　a　better　word　or　a　more　appropriate　particle。〃　　I　then
lose　all　patience；　and　wish　myself　at　the　devil's。　　Not　a　conjunction；
not　an　adverb；　must　be　omitted：　he　has　a　deadly　antipathy　to　all
those　transpositions　of　which　I　am　so　fond；　and；　if　the　music　of
our　periods　is　not　tuned　to　the　established；　official　key；　he
cannot　comprehend　our　meaning。　　It　is　deplorable　to　be　connected
with　such　a　fellow。

My　acquaintance　with　the　Count　C　is　the　only　compensation　for
such　an　evil。　　He　told　me　frankly；　the　other　day；　that　he　was　much
displeased　with　the　difficulties　and　delays　of　the　ambassador；
that　people　like　him　are　obstacles；　both　to　themselves　and　to
others。　　〃But；〃　added　he；　〃one　must　submit；　like　a　traveller　who
has　to　ascend　a　mountain：　if　the　mountain　was　not　there；　the　road
would　be　both　shorter　and　pleasanter；　but　there　it　is；　and　he　must
get　over　it。〃
　
The　old　man　perceives　the　count's　partiality　for　me：　this　annoys
him；　and；　he　seizes　every　opportunity　to　depreciate　the　count　in
my　hearing。　　I　naturally　defend　him；　and　that　only　makes　matters
worse。　　Yesterday　he　made　me　indignant；　for　he　also　alluded　to　me。
〃The　count；〃　he　said；　〃is　a　man　of　the　world；　and　a　good　man　of
business：　his　style　is　good；　and　he　writes　with　facility；　but；
like　other　geniuses；　he　has　no　solid　learning。〃　　He　looked　at　me
with　an　expression　that　seemed　to　ask　if　I　felt　the　blow。　　But　it
did　not　produce　the　desired　effect：　I　despise　a　man　who　can　think
and　act　in　such　a　manner。　　However；　I　made　a　stand；　and　answered
with　not　a　little　warmth。　　The　count；　I　said；　was　a　man　entitled
to　respect；　alike　for　his　character　and　his　acquirements。　　I　had
never　met　a　person　whose　mind　was　stored　with　more　useful　and
extensive　knowledge；　　who　had；　in　fact；　mastered　such　an　infinite
variety　of　subjects；　and　who　yet　retained　all　his　activity　for　the
details　of　ordinary　business。　　This　was　altogether　beyond　his
comprehension；　and　I　took　my　leave；　lest　my　anger　should　be　too
highly　excited　by　some　new　absurdity　of　his。

And　you　are　to　blame　for　all　this；　you　who　persuaded　me　to　bend
my　neck　to　this　yoke　by　preaching　a　life　of　activity　to　me。　　If
the　man　who　plants　vegetables；　and　carries　his　corn　to　town　on
market…days；　is　not　more　usefully　employed　than　I　am；　then　let　me
work　ten　years　longer　at　the　galleys　to　which　I　am　now　chained。

Oh；　the　brilliant　wretchedness；　the　weariness；　that　one　is　doomed
to　witness　among　the　silly　people　whom　we　meet　in　society　here！
The　ambition　of　rank！　　How　they　watch；　how　they　toil；　to　gain
precedence！　　What　poor　and　contemptible　passions　are　displayed　in
their　utter　nakedness！　　We　have　a　woman　here；　for　example；　who
never　ceases　to　entertain　the　company　with　accounts　of　her　family
and　her　estates。　　Any　stranger　would　consider　her　a　silly　being；
whose　head　was　turned　by　her　pretensions　to　rank　and　property；　but
she　is　in　reality　even　more　ridiculous；　the　daughter　of　a　mere
magistrate's　clerk　from　this　neighbourhood。　　I　cannot　understand
how　human　beings　can　so　debase　themselves。

Every　day　I　observe　more　and　more　the　folly　of　judging　of　others
by　ourselves；　and　I　have　so　much　trouble　with　myseif；　and　my　own
heart　is　in　such　constant　agitation；　that　I　am　well　content　to　let
others　pursue　their　own　course；　if　they　only　allow　me　the　same
privilege。

What　provokes　me　most　is　the　unhappy　extent　to　which　distinctions
of　rank　are　carried。　　I　know　perfectly　well　how　necessary　are
inequalities　of　condition；　and　I　am　sensible　of　the　advantages　I
myself　derive　therefrom；　but　I　would　not　have　these　institutions
prove　a　barrier　to　the　small　chance　of　happiness　which　I　may　enjoy
on　this　earth。

I　have　lately　become　acquainted　with　a　Miss　B；　a　very　agreeable
girl；　who　has　retained　her　natural　manners　in　the　midst　of　artificial
life。　　Our　first　conversation　pleased　us　both　equally；　and；　at
taking　leave；　I　requested　permission　to　visit　her。　　She　consented
in　so　obliging　a　manner；　that　I　waited　with　impatience　for　the
arrival　of　the　happy　moment。　　She　is　not　a　native　of　this　place；
but　resides　here　with　her　aunt。　　The　countenance　of　the　old　lady
is　not　prepossessing。　　I　paid　her　much　attention；　addressing　the
greater　part　of　my　conversation　to　her；　and；　in　less　than　half　an
hour；　I　discovered　what　her　niece　subsequently　acknowledged　to　me；
that　her　aged　aunt；　having　but　a　small　fortune；　and　a　still　smaller
share　of　understanding；　enjoys　no　satisfaction　except　in　the
pedigree　of　her　ancestors；　no　protection　save　in　her　noble　birth；
and　no　enjoyment　but　in　looking　from　her　castle　over　the　heads　of
the　humble　citizens。　　She　was；　no　doubt；　handsome　in　her　youth；
and　in　her　early　years　probably　trifled　away　her　time　in　rendering
many　a　poor　youth　the　sport　of　her　caprice：　in　her　riper　years　she
has　submitted　to　the　yoke　of　a　veteran　officer；　who；　in　return　for
her　person　and　her　small　independence；　has　spent　with　her　what　we
may　designate　her　age　of　brass。　　He　is　dead；　and　she　is　now　a
widow；　and　deserted。　　She　spends　her　iron　age　alone；　and　would　not
be　approached；　except　for　the　loveliness　of　her　niece。

JANUARY　8；　1772。

What　beings　are　men；　whose　whole　thoughts　are　occupied　with　form
and　ceremony；　who　for　years　together　devote　their　mental　and
physical　exertions　to　the　task　of　advancing　themselves　but　one
step；　and　endeavouring　to　occupy　a　higher　place　at　the　table。　　Not
that　such　persons　would　otherwise　want　employment：　on　the　contrary；
they　give　themselves　much　trouble　by　neglecting　important　business
for　such　petty　trifles。　　Last　week　a　question　of　precedence　arose
at　a　sledging…party；　and　all　our　amusement　was　spoiled。

The　silly　creatures　cannot　see　that　it　is　not　place　which　constitutes
real　greatness；　since　the　man　who　occupies　the　first　place　but
seldom　plays　the　principal　part。　　How　many　kings　are　governed　by
their　ministers　　how　many　ministers　by　their　secretaries？　　Who；　in
such　cases；　is　really　the　chief？　　He；　as　it　seems　to　me；　who　can
see　through　the　others；　and　possesses　strength　or　skill　enough　to
make　their　power　or　passions　subservient　to　the　execution　of　his
own　designs。

JANUARY　20。

I　must　write　to　you　from　this　place；　my　dear　Charlotte；　from　a
small　room　in　a　country　inn；　where　I　have　taken　shelter　from　a
severe　storm。　　During　my　whole　residence　in　that　wretched　place
D；　where　I　lived　amongst　strangers；　　strangers；　indeed；　to
this　heart；　　I　never　at　any　time　felt　the　smallest　inclination
to　correspond　with　you；　but　in　this　cottage；　in　this　retirement；
in　this　solitude；　with　the　snow　and　hail　beating　against　my
lattice…pane；　you　are　my　first　thought。　　The　instant　I　entered；
your　figure　rose　up　before　me；　and　the　remembrance！　　O　my　Charlotte；
the　sacred；　tender　remembrance！　　Gracious　Heaven！　restore　to　me
the　happy　moment　of　our　first　acquaintance。

Could　you　but　see　me；　my　dear　Charlotte；　in　the　whirl　of
dissipation；　　how　my　senses　are　dried　up；　but　my　heart　is　at　no
time　full。　　I　enjoy　no　single　moment　of　happiness：　all　is　vain　
nothing　touches　me。　　I　stand；　as　it　were；　before　the　raree…show：
I　see　the　little　puppets　move；　and　I　ask　whether　it　is　not　an
optical　illusion。　　I　am　amused　with　these　puppets；　or；　rather；　I
am　myself　one　of　them：　but；　when　I　sometimes　grasp　my　neighbour's
hand；　I　feel　that　it　is　not　natural；　and　I　withdraw　mine　with　a
shudder。　　In　the　evening　I　say　I　will　enjoy　the　next　morning's
sunrise；　and　yet　I　remain　in　bed：　in　the　day　I　promise　to　ramble
by　moonlight；　and　I；　nevertheless；　remain　at　home。　　I　know　not　why
I　rise；　nor　why　I　go　to　sleep。

The　leaven　which　animated　my　existence　is　gone：　the　charm　which
cheered　me　in　the　gloom　of　night；　and　aroused　me　from　my　morning
slumbers；　is　for　ever　fled。

I　have　found　but　one　being　here　to　interest　me；　a　Miss　B。　　She
resembles　you；　my　dear　Charlotte；　if　any　one　can　possibly　resemble
you。　　〃Ah！〃　you　will　say；　〃he　has　learned　how　to　pay　fine　compliments。〃
And　this　is　partly　true。　　I　have　been　very　agreeable　lately；　as
it　was　not　in　my　power　to　be　otherwise。　　I　have；　moreover；　a　deal
of　wit：　and　the　ladies　say　that　no　one　understands　flattery　better；
or　falsehoods　you　will　add；　since　the　one　accomplishment　invariably
accompanies　the　other。　　But　I　must　tell　you　of　Miss　B。　　She　has
abundance　of　soul；　which　flashes　from　her　deep　blue　eyes。　　Her
rank　is　a　torment　to　her；　and　satisfies　no　one　desire　of　her　heart。
She　would　gladly　retire　from　this　whirl　of　fashion；　and　we　often
picture　to　ourselves　a　life　of　undisturbed　happiness　in　distant
scenes　of　rural　retirement：　and　then　we　speak　of　you；　my　dear
Charlotte；　for　she　knows　you；　and　renders　homage　to　your　merits；
but　her　homage　is　not　exacted；　but　voluntary；　she　loves　you；　and
delights　to　hear　you　made　the　subject　of　conversation。

Oh；　that　I　were　sitting　at　your　feet　in　your　favourite　little　room；
with　the　dear　children　playing　around　us！　　If　they　became　troublesome
to　you；　I　would　tell　them　some　appalling　goblin　story；　and　they
would　crowd　round　me　with　silent　attention。　　The　sun　is　setting
in　glory；　his　last　rays　are　shining　on　the　snow；　which　covers　the
face　of　the　country：　the　storm　is　over；　and　I　must　return　to　my
dungeon。　　Adieu！　Is　Albert　with　you？　and　what　is　he　to　you？　　God
forgive　the　question。

FEBRUARY　8。

For　a　week　past　we　have　had　the　most　wretched　weather：　but　this
to　me　is　a　blessing；　for；　during　my　residence　here；　not　a　single
fine　day　has　beamed　from　the　heavens；　but　has　been　lost　to　me　by
the　intrusion　of　somebody。　　During　the　severity　of　rain；　sleet；
frost；　and　storm；　I　congratulate　myself　that　it　cannot　be　worse
indoors　than　abroad；　nor　worse　abroad　than　it　is　within　doors；　and
so　I　become　reconciled。　　When　the　sun　rises　bright　in　the　morning；
and　promises　a　glorious　day；　I　never　omit　to　exclaim；　〃There；　now；
they　have　another　blessing　from　Heaven；　which　they　will　be　sure
to　destroy：　they　spoil　everything；　　health；　fame；　happiness；
amusement；　and　they　do　this　generally　through　folly；　ignorance；
or　imbecility；　and　always；　according　to　their　own　account；　with
the　best　intentions！〃　　I　could　ofte