the sorrows of young werther(少年维特的烦恼)-第15部分

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in　ruins。

SEPTEMBER　3。

I　sometimes　cannot　understand　how　she　can　love　another；　how　she
dares　love　another；　when　I　love　nothing　in　this　world　so　completely；
so　devotedly；　as　I　love　her；　when　I　know　only　her；　and　have　no
other　possession。

SEPTEMBER　4。

It　is　even　so！　　As　nature　puts　on　her　autumn　tints　it　becomes
autumn　with　me　and　around　me。　　My　leaves　are　sere　and　yellow；　and
the　neighbouring　trees　are　divested　of　their　foliage。　　Do　you
remember　my　writing　to　you　about　a　peasant　boy　shortly　after　my
arrival　here？　　I　have　just　made　inquiries　about　him　in　Walheim。
They　say　he　has　been　dismissed　from　his　service；　and　is　now　avoided
by　every　one。　　I　met　him　yesterday　on　the　road；　going　to　a
neighbouring　village。　　I　spoke　to　him；　and　he　told　me　his　story。
It　interested　me　exceedingly；　as　you　will　easily　understand　when
I　repeat　it　to　you。　　But　why　should　I　trouble　you？　　Why　should　I
not　reserve　all　my　sorrow　for　myself？　　Why　should　I　continue　to
give　you　occasion　to　pity　and　blame　me？　　But　no　matter：　this　also
is　part　of　my　destiny。

At　first　the　peasant　lad　answered　my　inquiries　with　a　sort　of
subdued　melancholy；　which　seemed　to　me　the　mark　of　a　timid　disposition；
but；　as　we　grew　to　understand　each　other；　he　spoke　with　less　reserve；
and　openly　confessed　his　faults；　and　lamented　his　misfortune。　　I
wish；　my　dear　friend；　I　could　give　proper　expression　to　his
language。　　He　told　me　with　a　sort　of　pleasurable　recollection；
that；　after　my　departure；　his　passion　for　his　mistress　increased
daily；　until　at　last　he　neither　knew　what　he　did　nor　what　he　said；
nor　what　was　to　become　of　him。　　He　could　neither　eat　nor　drink　nor
sleep：　he　felt　a　sense　of　suffocation；　he　disobeyed　all　orders；
and　forgot　all　commands　involuntarily；　he　seemed　as　if　pursued　by
an　evil　spirit；　till　one　day；　knowing　that　his　mistress　had　gone
to　an　upper　chamber；　he　had　followed；　or；　rather；　been　drawn　after
her。　　As　she　proved　deaf　to　his　entreaties；　he　had　recourse　to
violence。　　He　knows　not　what　happened；　but　he　called　God　to　witness
that　his　intentions　to　her　were　honourable；　and　that　he　desired
nothing　more　sincerely　than　that　they　should　marry；　and　pass　their
lives　together。　　When　he　had　come　to　this　point；　he　began　to
hesitate；　as　if　there　was　something　which　he　had　not　courage　to
utter；　till　at　length　he　acknowledged　with　some　confusion　certain
little　confidences　she　had　encouraged；　and　liberties　she　had　allowed。
He　broke　off　two　or　three　times　in　his　narration；　and　assured　me
most　earnestly　that　he　had　no　wish　to　make　her　bad；　as　he　termed
it；　for　he　loved　her　still　as　sincerely　as　ever；　that　the　tale
had　never　before　escaped　his　lips；　and　was　only　now　told　to　convince
me　that　he　was　not　utterly　lost　and　abandoned。　　And　here；　my　dear
friend；　I　must　commence　the　old　song　which　you　know　I　utter　eternally。
If　I　could　only　represent　the　man　as　he　stood；　and　stands　now
before　me；　could　I　only　give　his　true　expressions；　you　would　feel
compelled　to　sympathise　in　his　fate。　　But　enough：　you；　who　know　my
misfortune　and　my　disposition；　can　easily　comprehend　the　attraction
which　draws　me　toward　every　unfortunate　being；　but　particularly
toward　him　whose　story　I　have　recounted。

On　perusing　this　letter　a　second　time；　I　find　I　have　omitted　the
conclusion　of　my　tale；　but　it　is　easily　supplied。　　She　became
reserved　toward　him；　at　the　instigation　of　her　brother　who　had
long　hated　him；　and　desired　his　expulsion　from　the　house；　fearing
that　his　sister's　second　marriage　might　deprive　his　children　of
the　handsome　fortune　they　expected　from　her；　as　she　is　childless。
He　was　dismissed　at　length；　and　the　whole　affair　occasioned　so
much　scandal；　that　the　mistress　dared　not　take　him　back；　even　if
she　had　wished　it。　　She　has　since　hired　another　servant；　with　whom；
they　say；　her　brother　is　equally　displeased；　and　whom　she　is　likely
to　marry；　but　my　informant　assures　me　that　he　himself　is　determined
not　to　survive　such　a　catastrophe。

This　story　is　neither　exaggerated　nor　embellished：　indeed；　I　have
weakened　and　impaired　it　in　the　narration；　by　the　necessity　of
using　the　more　refined　expressions　of　society。

This　love；　then；　this　constancy；　this　passion；　is　no　poetical
fiction。　　It　is　actual；　and　dwells　in　its　greatest　purity　amongst
that　class　of　mankind　whom　we　term　rude；　uneducated。　　We　are　the
educated；　not　the　perverted。　　But　read　this　story　with　attention；
I　implore　you。　　I　am　tranquil　to…day；　for　I　have　been　employed
upon　this　narration：　you　see　by　my　writing　that　I　am　not　so　agitated
as　usual。　　I　read　and　re…read　this　tale；　Wilhelm：　it　is　the　history
of　your　friend！　　My　fortune　has　been　and　will　be　similar；　and　I
am　neither　half　so　brave　nor　half　so　determined　as　the　poor　wretch
with　whom　I　hesitate　to　compare　myself。

SEPTEMBER　5。

Charlotte　had　written　a　letter　to　her　husband　in　the　country；　where
he　was　detained　by　business。　　It　commenced；　〃My　dearest　love；
return　as　soon　as　possible：　I　await　you　with　a　thousand　raptures。〃
A　friend　who　arrived；　brought　word；　that；　for　certain　reasons；　he
could　not　return　immediately。　　Charlotte's　letter　was　not　forwarded；
and　the　same　evening　it　fell　into　my　hands。　　I　read　it；　and　smiled。
She　asked　the　reason。　〃What　a　heavenly　treasure　is　imagination：〃
I　exclaimed；　〃I　fancied　for　a　moment　that　this　was　written　to　me。〃
She　paused；　and　seemed　displeased。　　I　was　silent。

SEPTEMBER　6。

It　cost　me　much　to　part　with　the　blue　coat　which　I　wore　the　first
time　I　danced　with　Charlotte。　　But　I　could　not　possibly　wear　it
any　longer。　　But　I　have　ordered　a　new　one；　precisely　similar；　even
to　the　collar　and　sleeves；　as　well　as　a　new　waistcoat　and　pantaloons。

But　it　does　not　produce　the　same　effect　upon　me。　　I　know　not　how
it　is；　but　I　hope　in　time　I　shall　like　it　better。

SEPTEMBER　12。

She　has　been　absent　for　some　days。　　She　went　to　meet　Albert。
To…day　I　visited　her：　she　rose　to　receive　me；　and　I　kissed　her
hand　most　tenderly。

A　canary　at　the　moment　flew　from　a　mirror；　and　settled　upon　her
shoulder。　　〃Here　is　a　new　friend；〃　she　observed；　while　she　made
him　perch　upon　her　hand：　〃he　is　a　present　for　the　children。　　What
a　dear　he　is！　　Look　at　him！　　When　I　feed　him；　he　flutters　with　his
wings；　and　pecks　so　nicely。　　He　kisses　me；　too；　only　look！〃

She　held　the　bird　to　her　mouth；　and　he　pressed　her　sweet　lips　with
so　much　fervour　that　he　seemed　to　feel　the　excess　of　bliss　which
he　enjoyed。

〃He　shall　kiss　you　too；〃　she　added；　and　then　she　held　the　bird
toward　me。　　His　little　beak　moved　from　her　mouth　to　mine；　and　the
delightful　sensation　seemed　like　the　forerunner　of　the　sweetest
bliss。

〃A　kiss；〃　I　observed；　〃does　not　seem　to　satisfy　him：　he　wishes　for
food；　and　seems　disappointed　by　these　unsatisfactory　endearments。〃

〃But　he　eats　out　of　my　mouth；〃　she　continued；　and　extended　her
lips　to　him　containing　seed；　and　she　smiled　with　all　the　charm　of
a　being　who　has　allowed　an　innocent　participation　of　her　love。

I　turned　my　face　away。　　She　should　not　act　thus。　She　ought　not　to
excite　my　imagination　with　such　displays　of　heavenly　innocence　and
happiness；　nor　awaken　my　heart　from　its　slumbers；　in　which　it
dreams　of　the　worthlessness　of　life！　　And　why　not？　　Because　she
knows　how　much　I　love　her。

SEPTEMBER　15。

It　makes　me　wretched；　Wilhelm；　to　think　that　there　should　be　men
incapable　of　appreciating　the　few　things　which　possess　a　real　value
in　life。　　You　remember　the　walnut　trees　at　S；　under　which　I　used
to　sit　with　Charlotte；　during　my　visits　to　the　worthy　old　vicar。
Those　glorious　trees；　the　very　sight　of　which　has　so　often　filled
my　heart　with　joy；　how　they　adorned　and　refreshed　the　parsonage
yard；　with　their　wide…extended　branches！　and　how　pleasing　was　our
remembrance　of　the　good　old　pastor；　by　whose　hands　they　were
planted　so　many　years　ago：　The　schoolmaster　has　frequently　mentioned
his　name。　　He　had　it　from　his　grandfather。　　He　must　have　been　a
most　excellent　man；　and；　under　the　shade　of　those　old　trees；　his
memory　was　ever　venerated　by　me。　　The　schoolmaster　informed　us
yesterday；　with　tears　in　his　eyes；　that　those　trees　had　been　felled。
Yes；　cut　to　the　ground！　　I　could；　in　my　wrath；　have　slain　the
monster　who　struck　the　first　stroke。　　And　I　must　endure　this！　
I；　who；　if　I　had　had　two　such　trees　in　my　own　court；　and　one　had
died　from　old　age；　should　have　wept　with　real　affliction。　　But
there　is　some　comfort　left；　such　a　thing　is　sentiment；　the　whole
village　murmurs　at　the　misfortune；　and　I　hope　the　vicar's　wife
will　soon　find；　by　the　cessation　of　the　villagers'　presents；　how
much　she　has　wounded　the　feelings　of　the　neighborhhood。　　It　was
she　who　did　it；　the　wife　of　the　present　incumbent　（our　good　old
man　is　dead）；　a　tall；　sickly　creature　who　is　so　far　right　to
disregard　the　world；　as　the　world　totally　disregards　her。　　The
silly　being　affects　to　be　learned；　pretends　to　examine　the　canonical
books；　lends　her　aid　toward　the　new…fashioned　reformation　of
Christendom；　moral　and　critical；　and　shrugs　up　her　shoulders　at
the　mention　of　Lavater's　enthusiasm。　　Her　health　is　destroyed；　on
account　of　which　she　is　prevented　from　having　any　enjoyment　here
below。　　Only　such　a　creature　could　have　cut　down　my　walnut　trees！
I　can　never　pardon　it。　　Hear　her　reasons。　　The　falling　leaves　made
the　court　wet　and　dirty；　the　branches　obstructed　the　light；　boys
threw　stones　at　the　nuts　when　they　were　ripe；　and　the　noise　affected
her　nerves；　and　disturbed　her　profound　meditations；　when　she　was
weighing　the　diffculties　of　Kennicot；　Semler；　and　Michaelis。
Finding　that　all　the　parish；　particularly　the　old　people；　were
displeased；　I　asked　〃why　they　allowed　it？〃　　〃Ah；　sir！〃　they　replied；
〃when　the　steward　orders；　what　can　we　poor　peasants　do？〃　　But　one
thing　has　happened　well。　　The　steward　and　the　vicar　（who；　for　once；
thought　to　reap　some　advantage　from　the　caprices　of　his　wife）
intended　to　divide　the　trees　between　them。　　The　revenue…office；
being　informed　of　it；　revived　an　old　claim　to　the　ground　where　the
trees　had　stood；　and　sold　them　to　the　best　bidder。　　There　they
still　lie　on　the　ground。　　If　I　were　the　sovereign；　I　should　know
how　to　deal　with　them　all；　vicar；　steward；　and　revenue…office。
Sovereign；　did　I　say？　　I　sh