the sorrows of young werther(少年维特的烦恼)-第23部分

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which　now　burns　within　me。　　She　loves　me！　　These　arms　have　encircled
her　waist；　these　lips　have　trembled　upon　hers。　　She　is　mine！　　Yes；
Charlotte；　you　are　mine　for　ever！

〃And　what　do　they　mean　by　saying　Albert　is　your　husband？　　He　may
be　so　for　this　world；　and　in　this　world　it　is　a　sin　to　love　you；
to　wish　to　tear　you　from　his　embrace。　　Yes；　it　is　a　crime；　and　I
suffer　the　punishment；　but　I　have　enjoyed　the　full　delight　of
my　sin。　　I　have　inhaled　a　balm　that　has　revived　my　soul。　　From
this　hour　you　are　mine；　yes；　Charlotte；　you　are　mine！　　I　go
before　you。　　I　go　to　my　Father　and　to　your　Father。　　I　will　pour
out　my　sorrows　before　him；　and　he　will　give　me　comfort　till　you
arrive。　　Then　will　I　fly　to　meet　you。　　I　will　claim　you；　and
remain　your　eternal　embrace；　in　the　presence　of　the　Almighty。

〃I　do　not　dream；　I　do　not　rave。　　Drawing　nearer　to　the　grave　my
perceptions　become　clearer。　　We　shall　exist；　we　shall　see　each
other　again；　we　shall　behold　your　mother；　I　shall　behold　her；　and
expose　to　her　my　inmost　heart。　　Your　mother　　your　image！〃

About　eleven　o'clock　Werther　asked　his　servant　if　Albert　had
returned。　　He　answered；　〃Yes；〃　for　he　had　seen　him　pass　on　horseback：
upon　which　Werther　sent　him　the　following　note；　unsealed：

〃Be　so　good　as　to　lend　me　your　pistols　for　a　journey。　　Adieu。〃

Charlotte　had　slept　little　during　the　past　night。　　All　her
apprehensions　were　realised　in　a　way　that　she　could　neither
foresee　nor　avoid。　　Her　blood　was　boiling　in　her　veins；　and　a
thousand　painful　sensations　rent　her　pure　heart。　　Was　it　the
ardour　of　Werther's　passionate　embraces　that　she　felt　within　her
bosom？　　Was　it　anger　at　his　daring？　　Was　it　the　sad　comparison
of　her　present　condition　with　former　days　of　innocence；　tranquillity；
and　self…confidence？　　How　could　she　approach　her　husband；　and
confess　a　scene　which　she　had　no　reason　to　conceal；　and　which　she
yet　felt；　nevertheless；　unwilling　to　avow？　　They　had　preserved　so
long　a　silence　toward　each　other　and　should　she　be　the　first　to
break　it　by　so　unexpected　a　discovery？　　She　feared　that　the　mere
statement　of　Werther's　visit　would　trouble　him；　and　his　distress
would　be　heightened　by　her　perfect　candour。　　She　wished　that　he
could　see　her　in　her　true　light；　and　judge　her　without　prejudice；
but　was　she　anxious　that　he　should　read　her　inmost　soul？　　On　the
other　hand；　could　she　deceive　a　being　to　whom　all　her　thoughts
had　ever　been　exposed　as　clearly　as　crystal；　and　from　whom　no
sentiment　had　ever　been　concealed？　　These　reflections　made　her
anxious　and　thoughtful。　　Her　mind　still　dwelt　on　Werther；　who　was
now　lost　to　her；　but　whom　she　could　not　bring　herself　to　resign；
and　for　whom　she　knew　nothing　was　left　but　despair　if　she　should
be　lost　to　him　for　ever。

A　recollection　of　that　mysterious　estrangement　which　had　lately
subsisted　between　herself　and　Albert；　and　which　she　could　never
thoroughly　understand；　was　now　beyond　measure　painful　to　her。
Even　the　prudent　and　the　good　have　before　now　hesitated　to　explain
their　mutual　differences；　and　have　dwelt　in　silence　upon　their
imaginary　grievances；　until　circumstances　have　become　so　entangled；
that　in　that　critical　juncture；　when　a　calm　explanation　would
have　saved　all　parties；　an　understanding　was　impossible。　　And
thus　if　domestic　confidence　had　been　earlier　established　between
them；　if　love　and　kind　forbearance　had　mutually　animated　and
expanded　their　hearts；　it　might　not；　perhaps；　even　yet　have　been
too　late　to　save　our　friend。

But　we　must　not　forget　one　remarkable　circumstance。　　We　may
observe　from　the　character　of　Werther's　correspondence；　that
he　had　never　affected　to　conceal　his　anxious　desire　to　quit
this　world。　　He　had　often　discussed　the　subject　with　Albert；
and；　between　the　latter　and　Charlotte；　it　had　not　unfrequently
formed　a　topic　of　conversation。　　Albert　was　so　opposed　to　the　very
idea　of　such　an　action；　that；　with　a　degree　of　irritation　unusual
in　him；　he　had　more　than　once　given　Werther　to　understand　that　he
doubted　the　seriousness　of　his　threats；　and　not　only　turned　them
into　ridicule；　but　caused　Charlotte　to　share　his　feelings　of
incredulity。　　Her　heart　was　thus　tranquillised　when　she　felt
disposed　to　view　the　melancholy　subject　in　a　serious　point　of
view；　though　she　never　communicated　to　her　husband　the
apprehensions　she　sometimes　experienced。

Albert；　upon　his　return；　was　received　by　Charlotte　with
ill…concealed　embarrassment。　　He　was　himself　out　of　humour；　his
business　was　unfinished；　and　he　had　just　discovered　that　the
neighbouring　official　with　whom　he　had　to　deal；　was　an　obstinate
and　narrow…minded　personage。　　Many　things　had　occurred　to　irritate
him。

He　inquired　whether　anything　had　happened　during　his　absence；　and
Charlotte　hastily　answered　that　Werther　had　been　there　on　the
evening　previously。　　He　then　inquired　for　his　letters；　and　was
answered　that　several　packages　had　been　left　in　his　study。　　He
thereon　retired；　leaving　Charlotte　alone。

The　presence　of　the　being　she　loved　and　honoured　produced　a　new
impression　on　her　heart。　　The　recollection　of　his　generosity；
kindness；　and　affection　had　calmed　her　agitation：　a　secret　impulse
prompted　her　to　follow　him；　she　took　her　work　and　went　to　his
study；　as　was　often　her　custom。　　He　was　busily　employed　opening
and　reading　his　letters。　　It　seemed　as　if　the　contents　of　some
were　disagreeable。　　She　asked　some　questions：　he　gave　short　answers；
and　sat　down　to　write。

Several　hours　passed　in　this　manner；　and　Charlotte's　feelings
became　more　and　more　melancholy。　　She　felt　the　extreme　difficulty
of　explaining　to　her　husband；　under　any　circumstances；　the　weight
that　lay　upon　her　heart；　and　her　depression　became　every　moment
greater；　in　proportion　as　she　endeavoured　to　hide　her　grief；　and
to　conceal　her　tears。

The　arrival　of　Werther's　servant　occasioned　her　the　greatest
embarrassment。　　He　gave　Albert　a　note；　which　the　latter　coldly
handed　to　his　wife；　saying；　at　the　same　time；　〃Give　him　the　pistols。
I　wish　him　a　pleasant　journey；〃　he　added；　turning　to　the　servant。
These　words　fell　upon　Charlotte　like　a　thunderstroke：　she　rose
from　her　seat　half…fainting；　and　unconscious　of　what　she　did。　　She
walked　mechanically　toward　the　wall；　took　down　the　pistols　with　a
trembling　hand；　slowly　wiped　the　dust　from　them；　and　would　have
delayed　longer；　had　not　Albert　hastened　her　movements　by　an　impatient
look。　　She　then　delivered　the　fatal　weapons　to　the　servant；　without
being　able　to　utter　a　word。　　As　soon　as　he　had　departed；　she　folded
up　her　work；　and　retired　at　once　to　her　room；　her　heart　overcome
with　the　most　fearful　forebodings。　　She　anticipated　some　dreadful
calamity。　　She　was　at　one　moment　on　the　point　of　going　to　her
husband；　throwing　herself　at　his　feet；　and　acquainting　him　with
all　that　had　happened　on　the　previous　evening；　that　she　might
acknowledge　her　fault；　and　explain　her　apprehensions；　then　she　saw
that　such　a　step　would　be　useless；　as　she　would　certainly　be　unable
to　induce　Albert　to　visit　Werther。　　Dinner　was　served；　and　a　kind
friend　whom　she　had　persuaded　to　remain　assisted　to　sustain　the
conversation；　which　was　carried　on　by　a　sort　of　compulsion；　till
the　events　of　the　morning　were　forgotten。

When　the　servant　brought　the　pistols　to　Werther；　the　latter　received
them　with　transports　of　delight　upon　hearing　that　Charlotte　had
given　them　to　him　with　her　own　hand。　　He　ate　some　bread；　drank
some　wine；　sent　his　servant　to　dinner；　and　then　sat　down　to　write
as　follows：

〃They　have　been　in　your　hands　you　wiped　the　dust　from　them。　　I
kiss　them　a　thousand　times　　you　have　touched　them。　　Yes；　Heaven
favours　my　design；　and　you；　Charlotte；　provide　me　with　the　fatal
instruments。　　It　was　my　desire　to　receive　my　death　from　your　hands；
and　my　wish　is　gratified。　　I　have　made　inquiries　of　my　servant。
You　trembled　when　you　gave　him　the　pistols；　but　you　bade　me　no
adieu。　　Wretched；　wretched　that　I　am　　not　one　farewell！　　How
could　you　shut　your　heart　against　me　in　that　hour　which　makes　you
mine　for　ever？　　Charlotte；　ages　cannot　efface　the　impression　　I
feel　you　cannot　hate　the　man　who　so　passionately　loves　you！〃

After　dinner　he　called　his　servant；　desired　him　to　finish　the
packing　up；　destroyed　many　papers；　and　then　went　out　to　pay　some
trifling　debts。　　He　soon　returned　home；　then　went　out　again；
notwithstanding　the　rain；　walked　for　some　time　in　the　count's
garden；　and　afterward　proceeded　farther　into　the　country。　　Toward
evening　he　came　back　once　more；　and　resumed　his　writing。

〃Wilhelm；　I　have　for　the　last　time　beheld　the　mountains；　the　forests；
and　the　sky。　　Farewell！　　And　you；　my　dearest　mother；　forgive　me！
Console　her；　Wilhelm。　　God　bless　you！　　I　have　settled　all　my
affairs！　　Farewell！　　We　shall　meet　again；　and　be　happier　than　ever。〃

〃I　have　requited　you　badly；　Albert；　but　you　will　forgive　me。　　I
have　disturbed　the　peace　of　your　home。　　I　have　sowed　distrust
between　you。　　Farewell！　　I　will　end　all　this　wretchedness。　　And
oh；　that　my　death　may　render　you　happy！　　Albert；　Albert！　make　that
angel　happy；　and　the　blessing　of　Heaven　be　upon　you！〃

He　spent　the　rest　of　the　evening　in　arranging　his　papers：　he　tore
and　burned　a　great　many；　others　he　sealed　up；　and　directed　to
Wilhelm。　　They　contained　some　detached　thoughts　and　maxims；　some
of　which　I　have　perused。　　At　ten　o'clock　he　ordered　his　fire　to
be　made　up；　and　a　bottle　of　wine　to　be　brought　to　him。　　He　then
dismissed　his　servant；　whose　room；　as　well　as　the　apartments　of
the　rest　of　the　family；　was　situated　in　another　part　of　the　house。
The　servant　lay　down　without　undressing；　that　he　might　be　the
sooner　ready　for　his　journey　in　the　morning；　his　master　having
informed　him　that　the　post…horses　would　be　at　the　door　before　six
o'clock。

〃Past　eleven　o'clock！　　All　is　silent　around　me；　and　my　soul　is
calm。　　I　thank　thee；　O　God；　that　thou　bestowest　strength　and　courage
upon　me　in　these　last　moments！　　I　approach　the　window；　my　dearest
of　friends；　and　through　the　clouds；　which　are　at　this　moment　driven
rapidly　along　by　the　impetuous　winds；　I　behold　the　stars　which
illumine　the　eternal　heavens。　　No；　you　will　not　fall；　celestial
bodies：　the　hand　of　the　Almighty　supports　both　you　and　me！　　I　hav