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sketches of young gentlemen(年轻绅士素描)-第4部分
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the room door after the lady had retired; 'you have very great reason to be
fond of your wife。 Sweet woman; Mrs。 Capper; sir!' 'Nay; Mincin … I
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beg;' interposed the host; as we were about to reply that Mrs。 Capper
unquestionably was particularly sweet。 'Pray; Mincin; don't。' 'Why not?'
exclaimed Mr。 Mincin; 'why not? Why should you feel any delicacy before
your old friend … OUR old friend; if I may be allowed to call you so; sir;
why should you; I ask?' We of course wished to know why he should
also; upon which our friend admitted that Mrs。 Capper WAS a very sweet
woman; at which admission Mr。 Mincin cried 'Bravo!' and begged to
propose Mrs。 Capper with heartfelt enthusiasm; whereupon our host said;
'Thank you; Mincin;' with deep feeling; and gave us; in a low voice; to
understand; that Mincin had saved Mrs。 Capper's cousin's life no less than
fourteen times in a year and a half; which he considered no common
circumstance … an opinion to which we most cordially subscribed。
Now that we three were left to entertain ourselves with conversation;
Mr。 Mincin's extreme friendliness became every moment more apparent;
he was so amazingly friendly; indeed; that it was impossible to talk about
anything in which he had not the chief concern。 We happened to allude
to some affairs in which our friend and we had been mutually engaged
nearly fourteen years before; when Mr。 Mincin was all at once reminded of
a joke which our friend had made on that day four years; which he
positively must insist upon telling … and which he did tell accordingly; with
many pleasant recollections of what he said; and what Mrs。 Capper said;
and how he well remembered that they had been to the play with orders on
the very night previous; and had seen Romeo and Juliet; and the
pantomime; and how Mrs。 Capper being faint had been led into the lobby;
where she smiled; said it was nothing after all; and went back again; with
many other interesting and absorbing particulars: after which the friendly
young gentleman went on to assure us; that our friend had experienced a
marvellously prophetic opinion of that same pantomime; which was of
such an admirable kind; that two morning papers took the same view next
day: to this our friend replied; with a little triumph; that in that instance
he had some reason to think he had been correct; which gave the friendly
young gentleman occasion to believe that our friend was always correct;
and so we went on; until our friend; filling a bumper; said he must drink
one glass to his dear friend Mincin; than whom he would say no man
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saved the lives of his acquaintances more; or had a more friendly heart。
Finally; our friend having emptied his glass; said; 'God bless you; Mincin;'
… and Mr。 Mincin and he shook hands across the table with much affection
and earnestness。
But great as the friendly young gentleman is; in a limited scene like
this; he plays the same part on a larger scale with increased ECLAT。 Mr。
Mincin is invited to an evening party with his dear friends the Martins;
where he meets his dear friends the Cappers; and his dear friends the
Watsons; and a hundred other dear friends too numerous to mention。 He
is as much at home with the Martins as with the Cappers; but how
exquisitely he balances his attentions; and divides them among his dear
friends! If he flirts with one of the Miss Watsons; he has one little Martin
on the sofa pulling his hair; and the other little Martin on the carpet riding
on his foot。 He carries Mrs。 Watson down to supper on one arm; and Miss
Martin on the other; and takes wine so judiciously; and in such exact order;
that it is impossible for the most punctilious old lady to consider herself
neglected。 If any young lady; being prevailed upon to sing; become
nervous afterwards; Mr。 Mincin leads her tenderly into the next room; and
restores her with port wine; which she must take medicinally。 If any
gentleman be standing by the piano during the progress of the ballad; Mr。
Mincin seizes him by the arm at one point of the melody; and softly
beating time the while with his head; expresses in dumb show his intense
perception of the delicacy of the passage。 If anybody's self…love is to be
flattered; Mr。 Mincin is at hand。 If anybody's overweening vanity is to be
pampered; Mr。 Mincin will surfeit it。 What wonder that people of all
stations and ages recognise Mr。 Mincin's friendliness; that he is universally
allowed to be handsome as amiable; that mothers think him an oracle;
daughters a dear; brothers a beau; and fathers a wonder! And who would
not have the reputation of the very friendly young gentleman?
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THE MILITARY YOUNG
GENTLEMAN
We are rather at a loss to imagine how it has come to pass that military
young gentlemen have obtained so much favour in the eyes of the young
ladies of this kingdom。 We cannot think so lightly of them as to suppose
that the mere circumstance of a man's wearing a red coat ensures him a
ready passport to their regard; and even if this were the case; it would be
no satisfactory explanation of the circumstance; because; although the
analogy may in some degree hold good in the case of mail coachmen and
guards; still general postmen wear red coats; and THEY are not to our
knowledge better received than other men; nor are firemen either; who
wear (or used to wear) not only red coats; but very resplendent and
massive badges besides … much larger than epaulettes。 Neither do the
twopenny post…office boys; if the result of our inquiries be correct; find
any peculiar favour in woman's eyes; although they wear very bright red
jackets; and have the additional advantage of constantly appearing in
public on horseback; which last circumstance may be naturally supposed
to be greatly in their favour。
We have sometimes thought that this phenomenon may take its rise in
the conventional behaviour of captains and colonels and other gentlemen
in red coats on the stage; where they are invariably represented as fine
swaggering fellows; talking of nothing but charming girls; their king and
country; their honour; and their debts; and crowing over the inferior classes
of the community; whom they occasionally treat with a little gentlemanly
swindling; no less to the improvement and pleasure of the audience; than
to the satisfaction and approval of the choice spirits who consort with
them。 But we will not devote these pages to our speculations upon the
subject; inasmuch as our business at the present moment is not so much
with the young ladies who are bewitched by her Majesty's livery as with
the young gentlemen whose heads are turned by it。 For 'heads' we had
written 'brains;' but upon consideration; we think the former the more
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appropriate word of the two。
These young gentlemen may be divided into two classes … young
gentlemen who are actually in the army; and young gentlemen who;
having an intense and enthusiastic admiration for all things appertaining to
a military life; are compelled by adverse fortune or adverse relations to
wear out their existence in some ignoble counting…house。 We will take
this latter description of military young gentlemen first。
The whole heart and soul of the military young gentleman are
concentrated in his favourite topic。 There is nothing that he is so learned
upon as uniforms; he will tell you; without faltering for an instant; what
the habiliments of any one regiment are turned up with; what regiment
wear stripes down the outside and inside of the leg; and how many buttons
the Tenth had on their coats; he knows to a fraction how many yards and
odd inches of gold lace it takes to make an ensign in the Guards; is deeply
read in the comparative merits of different bands; and the apparelling of
trumpeters; and is very luminous indeed in descanting upon 'crack
regiments;' and the 'crack' gentlemen who compose them; of whose
mightiness and grandeur he is never tired of telling。
We were suggesting to a military young gentleman only the other day;
after he had related to us several dazzling instances of the profusion of
half…a…dozen honourable ensign somebodies or nobodies in the articles of
kid gloves and polished boots; that possib
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