unconscious comedians-第4部分

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joviality　now　repressed　by　ambitious　ideas。　He　is　blessed　with　that

medium　height　which　is　the　privilege　of　sound　organizations。　He　is

rather　plump；　and　takes　great　pains　with　his　person。　His　forehead　is

getting　bald；　but　he　uses　that　circumstance　to　give　himself　the　air　of

a　man　consumed　by　thought。　It　is　easy　to　see　by　the　way　his　wife　looks

at　him　and　listens　to　him　that　she　believes　in　the　genius　and　glory　of

her　husband。　Vital　loves　artists；　not　that　he　has　any　taste　for　art；

but　from　fellowship；　for　he　feels　himself　an　artist；　and　makes　this

felt　by　disclaiming　that　title　of　nobility；　and　placing　himself　with

constant　premeditation　at　so　great　a　distance　from　the　arts　that

persons　may　be　forced　to　say　to　him：　〃You　have　raised　the　construction

of　hats　to　the　height　of　a　science。〃



〃Have　you　at　last　discovered　a　hat　to　suit　me？〃　asked　Leon　de　Lora。



〃Why；　monsieur！　in　fifteen　days？〃　replied　Vital；　〃and　for　you！　Two

months　would　hardly　suffice　to　invent　a　shape　in　keeping　with　your

countenance。　See；　here　is　your　lithographic　portrait：　I　have　studied

it　most　carefully。　I　would　not　give　myself　that　trouble　for　a　prince；

but　you　are　more；　you　are　an　artist；　and　you　understand　me。〃



〃This　is　one　of　our　greatest　inventors；〃　said　Bixiou　presenting

Gazonal。　〃He　might　be　as　great　as　Jacquart　if　he　would　only　let

himself　die。　Our　friend；　a　manufacturer　of　cloth；　has　discovered　a

method　of　replacing　the　indigo　in　old　blue　coats；　and　he　wants　to　see

you　as　another　great　phenomenon；　because　he　has　heard　of　your　saying；

'The　hat　is　the　man。'　That　speech　of　yours　enraptured　him。　Ah！　Vital；

you　have　faith；　you　believe　in　something；　you　have　enthusiasm　for　your

work。〃



Vital　scarcely　listened；　he　grew　pale　with　pleasure。



〃Rise；　my　wife！　Monsieur　is　a　man　of　science。〃



Madame　Vital　rose　at　her　husband's　gesture。　Gazonal　bowed　to　her。



〃Shall　I　have　the　honor　to　cover　your　head？〃　said　Vital；　with　joyful

obsequiousness。



〃At　the　same　price　as　mine；〃　interposed　Bixiou。



〃Of　course；　of　course；　I　ask　no　other　fee　than　to　be　quoted　by　you；

messieurs　Monsieur　needs　a　picturesque　hat；　something　in　the　style

of　Monsieur　Lousteau's；〃　he　continued；　looking　at　Gazonal　with　the　eye

of　a　master。　〃I　will　consider　it。〃



〃You　give　yourself　a　great　deal　of　trouble；〃　said　Gazonal。



〃Oh！　for　a　few　persons　only；　for　those　who　know　how　to　appreciate　the

value　of　the　pains　I　bestow　upon　them。　Now；　take　the　aristocracy

there　is　but　one　man　there　who　has　truly　comprehended　the　Hat；　and

that　is　the　Prince　de　Bethune。　How　is　it　that　men　do　not　consider；　as

women　do；　that　the　hat　is　the　first　thing　that　strikes　the　eye？　And

why　have　they　never　thought　of　changing　the　present　system；　which　is；

let　us　say　it　frankly；　ignoble？　Yes；　ignoble；　and　yet　a　Frenchman　is；

of　all　nationalities；　the　one　most　persistent　in　this　folly！　I　know

the　difficulties　of　a　change；　messieurs。　I　don't　speak　of　my　own

writings　on　the　matter；　which；　as　I　think；　approach　it

philosophically；　but　simply　as　a　hatter。　I　have　myself　studied　means

to　accentuate　the　infamous　head…covering　to　which　France　is　now

enslaved　until　I　succeed　in　overthrowing　it。



So　saying　he　pointed　to　the　hideous　hat　in　vogue　at　the　present　day。



〃Behold　the　enemy；　messieurs；〃　he　continued。　〃How　is　it　that　the

wittiest　and　most　satirical　people　on　earth　will　consent　to　wear　upon

their　heads　a　bit　of　stove…pipe？as　one　of　our　great　writers　has

called　it。　Here　are　some　of　the　infections　I　have　been　able　to　give　to

those　atrocious　lines；〃　he　added；　pointing　to　a　number　of　his

creations。　〃But；　although　I　am　able　to　conform　them　to　the　character

of　each　wearerfor；　as　you　see；　there　are　the　hats　of　a　doctor；　a

grocer；　a　dandy；　an　artist；　a　fat　man；　a　thin　man；　and　so　forththe

style　itself　remains　horrible。　Seize；　I　beg　of　you；　my　whole

thought〃



He　took　up　a　hat；　low…crowned　and　wide…brimmed。



〃This；〃　he　continued；　〃is　the　old　hat　of　Claude　Vignon；　a　great

critic；　in　the　days　when　he　was　a　free　man　and　a　free…liver。　He　has

lately　come　round　to　the　ministry；　they've　made　him　a　professor；　a

librarian；　he　writes　now　for　the　Debats　only；　they've　appointed　him

Master　of　Petitions　with　a　salary　of　sixteen　thousand　francs；　he　earns

four　thousand　more　out　of　his　paper；　and　he　is　decorated。　Well；　now

see　his　new　hat。〃



And　Vital　showed　them　a　hat　of　a　form　and　design　which　was　truly

expressive　of　the　juste…milieu。



〃You　ought　to　have　made　him　a　Punch　and　Judy　hat！〃　cried　Gazonal。



〃You　are　a　man　of　genius；　Monsieur　Vital；〃　said　Leon。



Vital　bowed。



〃Would　you　kindly　tell　me　why　the　shops　of　your　trade　in　Paris　remain

open　late　at　night；later　than　the　cafes　and　the　wineshops？　That　fact

puzzles　me　very　much；〃　said　Gazonal。



〃In　the　first　place；　our　shops　are　much　finer　when　lighted　up　than

they　are　in　the　daytime；　next；　where　we　sell　ten　hats　in　the　daytime

we　sell　fifty　at　night。〃



〃Everything　is　queer　in　Paris；〃　said　Leon。



〃Thanks　to　my　efforts　and　my　successes；〃　said　Vital；　returning　to　the

course　of　his　self…laudation；　〃we　are　coming　to　hats　with　round

headpieces。　It　is　to　that　I　tend！〃



〃What　obstacle　is　there？〃　asked　Gazonal。



〃Cheapness；　monsieur。　In　the　first　place；　very　handsome　silk　hats　can

be　built　for　fifteen　francs；　which　kills　our　business；　for　in　Paris　no

one　ever　has　fifteen　francs　in　his　pocket　to　spend　on　a　hat。　If　a

beaver　hat　costs　thirty；　it　is　still　the　same　thing　When　I　say

beaver；　I　ought　to　state　that　there　are　not　ten　pounds　of　beaver　skins

left　in　France。　That　article　is　worth　three　hundred　and　fifty　francs　a

pound；　and　it　takes　an　ounce　for　a　hat。　Besides；　a　beaver　hat　isn't

really　worth　anything；　the　skin　takes　a　wretched　dye；　gets　rusty　in

ten　minutes　under　the　sun；　and　heat　puts　it　out　of　shape　as　well。　What

we　call　'beaver'　in　the　trade　is　neither　more　nor　less　than　hare's…

skin。　The　best　qualities　are　made　from　the　back　of　the　animal；　the

second　from　the　sides；　the　third　from　the　belly。　I　confide　to　you

these　trade　secrets　because　you　are　men　of　honor。　But　whether　a　man

has　hare's…skin　or　silk　on　his　head；　fifteen　or　thirty　francs　in

short；　the　problem　is　always　insoluble。　Hats　must　be　paid　for　in　cash；

and　that　is　why　the　hat　remains　what　it　is。　The　honor　of　vestural

France　will　be　saved　on　the　day　that　gray　hats　with　round　crowns　can

be　made　to　cost　a　hundred　francs。　We　could　then；　like　the　tailors；

give　credit。　To　reach　that　result　men　must　resolve　to　wear　buckles；

gold　lace；　plumes；　and　the　brims　lined　with　satin；　as　in　the　days　of

Louis　XIII。　and　Louis　XIV。　Our　business；　which　would　then　enter　the

domain　of　fancy；　would　increase　tenfold。　The　markets　of　the　world

should　belong　to　France；　Paris　will　forever　give　the　tone　to　women's

fashions；　and　yet　the　hats　which　all　Frenchmen　wear　to…day　are　made　in

every　country　on　earth！　There　are　ten　millions　of　foreign　money　to　be

gained　annually　for　France　in　that　question〃



〃A　revolution！〃　cried　Bixiou；　pretending　enthusiasm。



〃Yes；　and　a　radical　one；　for　the　form　must　be　changed。〃



〃You　are　happy　after　the　manner　of　Luther　in　dreaming　of　reform；〃　said

Leon。



〃Yes；　monsieur。　Ah！　if　a　dozen　or　fifteen　artists；　capitalists；　or

dandies　who　set　the　tone　would　only　have　courage　for　twenty…four　hours

France　would　gain　a　splendid　commercial　battle！　To　succeed　in　this

reform　I　would　give　my　whole　fortune！　Yes；　my　sole　ambition　is　to

regenerate　the　hat　and　disappear。〃



〃The　man　is　colossal；〃　said　Gazonal；　as　they　left　the　shop；　〃but　I

assure　you　that　all　your　originals　so　far　have　a　touch　of　the

Southerner　about　them。〃



〃Let　us　go　this　way；〃　said　Bixiou　pointing　to　the　rue　Saint…Marc。



〃Do　you　want　to　show　me　something　else？〃



〃Yes；　you　shall　see　the　usuress　of　rats；　marcheuses　and　great　ladies；

a　woman　who　possesses　more　terrible　secrets　than　there　are　gowns

hanging　in　her　window；〃　said　Bixiou。



And　he　showed　Gazonal　one　of　those　untidy　shops　which　made　an　ugly

stain　in　the　midst　of　the　dazzling　show…windows　of　modern　retail

commerce。　This　shop　had　a　front　painted　in　1820；　which　some　bankrupt

had　doubtless　left　in　a　dilapidated　condition。　The　color　had

disappeared　beneath　a　double　coating　of　dirt；　the　result　of　usage；　and

a　thick　layer　of　dust；　the　window…panes　were　filthy；　the　door…knob

turned　of　itself；　as　door…knobs　do　in　all　places　where　people　go　out

more　quickly　than　they　enter。



〃What　do　you　say　of　THAT？　First　cousin　to　Death；　isn't　she？〃　said　Leon

in　Gazonal's　ear；　showing　him；　at　the　desk；　a　terrible　individual。

〃Well；　she　calls　herself　Madame　Nourrisson。〃



〃Madame；　how　much　is　this　guipure？〃　asked　the　manufacturer；　intending

to　compete　in　liveliness　with　the　two　artists。



〃To　you；　monsieur；　who　come　from　the　country；　it　will　be　only　three

hundred　francs；〃　she　replied。　Then；　remarking　in　his　manner　a　sort　of

eagerness　peculiar　to　Southerners；　she　added；　in　a　grieved　tone；　〃It

formerly　belonged　to　that　poor　Princess　de　Lamballe。〃



〃What！　do　you　dare　exhibit　it　so　near　the　palace？〃　cried　Bixiou。



〃Monsieur；　THEY　don't　believe　in　it；〃　she　replied。



〃Madame；　we　have　not　come　to　make　purchases；〃　said　Bixiou；　with　a　show

of　frankness。



〃So　I　see；　monsieur；〃　returned　Madame　Nourrisson。



〃We　have　several　things　to　sell；〃　said　the　illustrious　caricaturist。

〃I　live　close　by；　rue　de　Richelieu；　112；　sixth　floor。　If　you　will　come

round　there　for　a　moment；　you　may　perhaps　make　some　good　bargains。〃



Ten　minutes　later　Madame　Nourrisson　did　in　fact　present　herself　at

Bixiou's　lodgings；　where　by　that　time　he　had　taken　Leon　and　Gazonal。

Madame　Nourrisson　found　them　all　three　as　serious　as　authors　whose

collaboration　does　not　meet　with　the　success　it　deserves。



〃Madame；〃　said　the　intrepid　hoaxer；　showing　her　a　pair　of　women's

slippers；　〃these　belonged　formerly　to　the　Empress　Josephine。〃



He　felt