unconscious comedians-第7部分

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make　him　pay　the　thousand　francs　for　his　breakfast　at　the　Cafe　de

Paris；　for　this　son　of　the　Pyrenees　had　never　got　out　of　that　armor　of

distrust　which　incloses　the　provincial　in　Paris。



〃How　can　you　expect　me　to　have　outstanding　business　at　seven　hundred

miles　from　Paris？〃　added　Vauvinet。



〃Then　you　refuse　me　positively？〃　asked　Bixiou。



〃I　have　twenty　francs；　and　no　more；〃　said　the　young　usurer。



〃I'm　sorry　for　you；〃　said　the　joker。　〃I　thought　I　was　worth　a　thousand

francs。〃



〃You　are　worth　two　hundred　thousand　francs；〃　replied　Vauvinet；　〃and

sometimes　you　are　worth　your　weight　in　gold；　or　at　least　your　tongue

is；　but　I　tell　you　I　haven't　a　penny。〃



〃Very　good；〃　replied　Bixiou；　〃then　we　won't　say　anything　more　about

it。　I　had　arranged　for　this　evening；　at　Carabine's；　the　thing　you　most

wantedyou　know？〃



Vauvinet　winked　an　eye　at　Bixiou；　the　wink　that　two　jockeys　give　each

other　when　they　want　to　say：　〃Don't　try　trickery。〃



〃Don't　you　remember　catching　me　round　the　waist　as　if　I　were　a　pretty

woman；〃　said　Bixiou；　〃and　coaxing　me　with　look　and　speech；　and　saying；

'I'll　do　anything　for　you　if　you'll　only　get　me　shares　at　par　in　that

railroad　du　Tillet　and　Nucingen　have　made　an　offer　for？'　Well；　old

fellow；　du　Tillet　and　Nucingen　are　coming　to　Carabine's　to…night；

where　they　will　meet　a　number　of　political　characters。　You've　lost　a

fine　opportunity。　Good…bye　to　you；　old　carrot。〃



Bixiou　rose；　leaving　Vauvinet　apparently　indifferent；　but　inwardly

annoyed　by　the　sense　that　he　had　committed　a　folly。



〃One　moment；　my　dear　fellow；〃　said　the　money…lender。　〃Though　I　haven't

the　money；　I　have　credit。　If　your　notes　are　worth　nothing；　I　can　keep

them　and　give　you　notes　in　exchange。　If　we　can　come　to　an　agreement

about　that　railway　stock　we　could　share　the　profits；　of　course　in　due

proportion　and　I'll　allow　you　that　on〃



〃No；　no；〃　said　Bixiou；　〃I　want　money　in　hand；　and　I　must　get　those

notes　of　Ravenouillet's　cashed。〃



〃Ravenouillet　is　sound；〃　said　Vauvinet。　〃He　puts　money　into　the

savings…bank；　he　is　good　security。〃



〃Better　than　you；〃　interposed　Leon；　〃for　HE　doesn't　stipend　lorettes；

he　hasn't　any　rent　to　pay；　and　he　never　rushes　into　speculations　which

keep　him　dreading　either　a　rise　or　fall。〃



〃You　think　you　can　laugh　at　me；　great　man；〃　returned　Vauvinet；　once

more　jovial　and　caressing；　〃you've　turned　La　Fontaine's　fable　of　'Le

Chene　et　le　Roseau'　into　an　elixir　Come；　Gubetta；　my　old

accomplice；〃　he　continued；　seizing　Bixiou　round　the　waist；　〃you　want

money；　well；　I　can　borrow　three　thousand　francs　from　my　friend　Cerizet

instead　of　two；　'Let　us　be　friends；　Cinna！'　hand　over　your　colossal

cabbages；made　to　trick　the　public　like　a　gardener's　catalogue。　If　I

refused　you　it　was　because　it　is　pretty　hard　on　a　man　who　can　only　do

his　poor　little　business　by　turning　over　his　money；　to　have　to　keep

your　Ravenouillet　notes　in　the　drawer　of　his　desk。　Hard；　hard；　very

hard！〃



〃What　discount　do　you　want？〃　asked　Bixiou。



〃Next　to　nothing；〃　returned　Vauvinet。　〃It　will　cost　you　a　miserable

fifty　francs　at　the　end　of　the　quarter。〃



〃As　Emile　Blondet　used　to　say；　you　shall　be　my　benefactor；〃　replied

Bixiou。



〃Twenty　per　cent！〃　whispered　Gazonal　to　Bixiou；　who　replied　by　a　punch

of　his　elbow　in　the　provincial's　oesophagus。



〃Bless　me！〃　said　Vauvinet　opening　a　drawer　in　his　desk　as　if　to　put

away　the　Ravenouillet　notes；　〃here's　an　old　bill　of　five　hundred

francs　stuck　in　the　drawer！　I　didn't　know　I　was　so　rich。　And　here's　a

note　payable　at　the　end　of　the　month　for　four　hundred　and　fifty；

Cerizet　will　take　it　without　much　diminution；　and　there's　your　sum　in

hand。　But　no　nonsense；　Bixiou！　Hein？　to…night；　at　Carabine's；　will　you

swear　to　me〃



〃Haven't　we　RE…friended？〃　said　Bixiou；　pocketing　the　five…hundred…

franc　bill　and　the　note　for　four　hundred　and　fifty。　〃I　give　you　my

word　of　honor　that　you　shall　see　du　Tillet；　and　many　other　men　who

want　to　make　their　waytheir　railwayto…night　at　Carabine's。〃



Vauvinet　conducted　the　three　friends　to　the　landing　of　the　staircase；

cajoling　Bixiou　on　the　way。　Bixiou　kept　a　grave　face　till　he　reached

the　outer　door；　listening　to　Gazonal；　who　tried　to　enlighten　him　on

his　late　operation；　and　to　prove　to　him　that　if　Vauvinet's　follower；

Cerizet；　took　another　twenty　francs　out　of　his　four　hundred　and　fifty；

he　was　getting　money　at　forty　per　cent。



When　they　reached　the　asphalt　Bixiou　frightened　Gazonal　by　the　laugh

of　a　Parisian　hoaxer；that　cold；　mute　laugh；　a　sort　of　labial　north

wind。



〃The　assignment　of　the　contract　for　that　railway　is　adjourned；

positively；　by　the　Chamber；　I　heard　this　yesterday　from　that　marcheuse

whom　we　smiled　at　just　now。　If　I　win　five　or　six　thousand　francs　at

lansquenet　to…night；　why　should　I　grudge　sixty…five　francs　for　the

power　to　stake；　hey？〃



〃Lansquenet　is　another　of　the　thousand　facets　of　Paris　as　it　is；〃　said

Leon。　〃And　therefore；　cousin；　I　intend　to　present　you　to…night　in　the

salon　of　a　duchess；a　duchess　of　the　rue　Saint…Georges；　where　you

will　see　the　aristocracy　of　the　lorettes；　and　probably　be　able　to　win

your　lawsuit。　But　it　is　quite　impossible　to　present　you　anywhere　with

that　mop　of　Pyrenean　hair；　you　look　like　a　porcupine；　and　therefore

we'll　take　you　close　by；　Place　de　la　Bourse；　to　Marius；　another　of　our

comedians〃



〃Who　is　he？〃



〃I'll　tell　you　his　tale；〃　said　Bixiou。　〃In　the　year　1800　a　Toulousian

named　Cabot；　a　young　wig…maker　devoured　by　ambition；　came　to　Paris；

and　set　up　a　shop　（I　use　your　slang）。　This　man　of　genius；he　now　has

an　income　of　twenty…four　thousand　francs　a　year；　and　lives；　retired

from　business；　at　Libourne；well；　he　saw　that　so　vulgar　and　ignoble　a

name　as　Cabot　could　never　attain　celebrity。　Monsieur　de　Parny；　whose

hair　he　cut；　gave　him　the　name　of　Marius；　infinitely　superior；　you

perceive；　to　the　Christian　names　of　Armand　and　Hippolyte；　behind　which

patronymics　attacked　by　the　Cabot　evil　are　wont　to　hide。　All　the

successors　of　Cabot　have　called　themselves　Marius。　The　present　Marius

is　Marius　V。；　his　real　name　is　Mongin。　This　occurs　in　various　other

trades；　for　'Botot　water；'　and　for　'Little…Virtue'　ink。　Names　become

commercial　property　in　Paris；　and　have　ended　by　constituting　a　sort　of

ensign　of　nobility。　The　present　Marius；　who　takes　pupils；　has　created；

he　says；　the　leading　school　of　hair…dressing　in　the　world。



〃I've　seen；　in　coming　through　France；〃　said　Gazonal；　〃a　great　many

signs　bearing　the　words：　'Such　a　one；　pupil　of　Marius。'〃



〃His　pupils　have　to　wash　their　hands　after　every　head；〃　said　Bixiou；

〃but　Marius　does　not　take　them　indifferently；　they　must　have　nice

hands；　and　not　be　ill…looking。　The　most　remarkable　for　manners；

appearance；　and　elocution　are　sent　out　to　dress　heads；　and　they　come

back　tired　to　death。　Marius　himself　never　turns　out　except　for　titled

women；　he　drives　his　cabriolet　and　has　a　groom。〃



〃But；　after　all；　he　is　nothing　but　a　barber！〃　cried　Gazonal；　somewhat

shocked。



〃Barber！〃　exclaimed　Bixiou；　〃please　remember　that　he　is　captain　in　the

National　Guard；　and　is　decorated　for　being　the　first　to　spring　into　a

barricade　in　1832。〃



〃And　take　care　what　you　say　to　him：　he　is　neither　barber；　hair…

dresser；　nor　wig…maker；　he　is　a　director　of　salons　for　hair…dressing；〃

said　Leon；　as　they　went　up　a　staircase　with　crystal　balusters　and

mahogany　rail；　the　steps　of　which　were　covered　with　a　sumptuous

carpet。



〃Ah　ca！　mind　you　don't　compromise　us；〃　said　Bixiou。　〃In　the

antechamber　you'll　see　lacqueys　who　will　take　off　your　coat；　and　seize

your　hat；　to　brush　them；　and　they'll　accompany　you　to　the　door　of　the

salons　to　open　and　shut　it。　I　mention　this；　friend　Gazonal；〃　added

Bixiou；　slyly；　〃lest　you　might　think　they　were　after　your　property；

and　cry　'Stop　thief！'〃



〃These　salons；〃　said　Leon；　〃are　three　boudoirs　where　the　director　has

collected　all　the　inventions　of　modern　luxury：　lambrequins　to　the

windows；　jardinieres　everywhere；　downy　divans　where　each　customer　can

wait　his　turn　and　read　the　newspapers。　You　might　suppose；　when　you

first　go　in；　that　five　francs　would　be　the　least　they'd　get　out　of

your　waistcoat　pocket；　but　nothing　is　ever　extracted　beyond　ten　sous

for　combing　and　frizzing　your　hair；　or　twenty　sous　for　cutting　and

frizzing。　Elegant　dressing…tables　stand　about　among　the　jardinieres；

water　is　laid　on　to　the　washstands；　enormous　mirrors　reproduce　the

whole　figure。　Therefore　don't　look　astonished。　When　the　client　（that's

the　elegant　word　substituted　by　Marius　for　the　ignoble　word　customer）；

when　the　client　appears　at　the　door；　Marius　gives　him　a　glance　which

appraises　him：　to　Marius　you　are　a　HEAD；　more　or　less　susceptible　of

occupying　his　mind。　To　him　there's　no　mankind；　there　are　only　heads。〃



〃We　let　you　hear　Marius　on　all　the　notes　of　his　scale；〃　said　Bixiou；

〃and　you　know　how　to　follow　our　lead。〃



As　soon　as　Gazonal　showed　himself；　the　glance　was　given；　and　was

evidently　favourable；　for　Marius　exclaimed：　〃Regulus！　yours　this　head！

Prepare　it　first　with　the　little　scissors。〃



〃Excuse　me；〃　said　Gazonal　to　the　pupil；　at　a　sign　from　Bixiou。　〃I

prefer　to　have　my　head　dressed　by　Monsieur　Marius　himself。〃



Marius；　much　flattered　by　this　demand；　advanced；　leaving　the　head　on

which　he　was　engaged。



〃I　am　with　you　in　a　moment；　I　am　just　finishing。　Pray　have　no

uneasiness；　my　pupil　will　prepare　you；　I　alone　will　decide　the　cut。〃



Marius；　a　slim　little　man；　his　hair　frizzed　like　that　of　Rubini；　and

jet　black；　dressed　also　in　black；　with　long　white　cuffs；　and　the　frill

of　his　shirt　adorned　with　a　diamond；　now　saw　Bixiou；　to　whom　he　bowed

as　to　a　power　the　equal　of　his　own。



〃That　is　only　an　ordinary　head；〃　he　said　to　Leon；　pointing　to　the

person　on　whom　he　was　operating；〃a　grocer；　or　something　of　that

kind。　But　if　we　devoted　ourselves　to　art　only；　we　should　lie　in

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