15-taming the bicycle-第1部分

快捷操作: 按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页 按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页 按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部! 如果本书没有阅读完，想下次继续接着阅读，可使用上方 "收藏到我的浏览器" 功能 和 "加入书签" 功能！







TAMING　THE　BICYCLE





In　the　early　eighties　Mark　Twain　learned　to　ride　one　of　the

old　high…wheel　bicycles　of　that　period。　　He　wrote　an　account　of

his　experience；　but　did　not　offer　it　for　publication。　　The　form

of　bicycle　he　rode　long　ago　became　antiquated；　but　in　the　humor

of　his　pleasantry　is　a　quality　which　does　not　grow　old。





A。　B。　P。







I



I　thought　the　matter　over；　and　concluded　I　could　do　it。　　So

I　went　down　a　bought　a　barrel　of　Pond's　Extract　and　a　bicycle。

The　Expert　came　home　with　me　to　instruct　me。　　We　chose　the

back　yard；　for　the　sake　of　privacy；　and　went　to　work。



Mine　was　not　a　full…grown　bicycle；　but　only　a　colta

fifty…inch；　with　the　pedals　shortened　up　to　forty…eightand

skittish；　like　any　other　colt。　　The　Expert　explained　the　thing's

points　briefly；　then　he　got　on　its　back　and　rode　around　a　little；

to　show　me　how　easy　it　was　to　do。　　He　said　that　the　dismounting

was　perhaps　the　hardest　thing　to　learn；　and　so　we　would　leave

that　to　the　last。　　But　he　was　in　error　there。　　He　found；　to　his

surprise　and　joy；　that　all　that　he　needed　to　do　was　to　get　me　on

to　the　machine　and　stand　out　of　the　way；　I　could　get　off；　myself。

Although　I　was　wholly　inexperienced；　I　dismounted　in　the　best

time　on　record。　　He　was　on　that　side；　shoving　up　the　machine；

we　all　came　down　with　a　crash；　he　at　the　bottom；　I　next；

and　the　machine　on　top。



We　examined　the　machine；　but　it　was　not　in　the　least

injured。　　This　was　hardly　believable。　　Yet　the　Expert　assured　me

that　it　was　true；　in　fact；　the　examination　proved　it。　　I　was

partly　to　realize；　then；　how　admirably　these　things　are

constructed。　　We　applied　some　Pond's　Extract；　and　resumed。　　The

Expert　got　on　the　OTHER　side　to　shove　up　this　time；　but　I

dismounted　on　that　side；　so　the　result　was　as　before。



The　machine　was　not　hurt。　　We　oiled　ourselves　again；　and　resumed。

This　time　the　Expert　took　up　a　sheltered　position　behind；

but　somehow　or　other　we　landed　on　him　again。



He　was　full　of　admiration；　said　it　was　abnormal。　　She　was

all　right；　not　a　scratch　on　her；　not　a　timber　started　anywhere。

I　said　it　was　wonderful；　while　we　were　greasing　up；　but　he　said

that　when　I　came　to　know　these　steel　spider…webs　I　would　realize

that　nothing　but　dynamite　could　cripple　them。　　Then　he　limped　out

to　position；　and　we　resumed　once　more。　　This　time　the　Expert　took

up　the　position　of　short…stop；　and　got　a　man　to　shove　up　behind。

We　got　up　a　handsome　speed；　and　presently　traversed　a　brick；　and

I　went　out　over　the　top　of　the　tiller　and　landed；　head　down；　on

the　instructor's　back；　and　saw　the　machine　fluttering　in　the　air

between　me　and　the　sun。　　It　was　well　it　came　down　on　us；　for　that

broke　the　fall；　and　it　was　not　injured。



Five　days　later　I　got　out　and　was　carried　down　to　the

hospital；　and　found　the　Expert　doing　pretty　fairly。　　In　a　few

more　days　I　was　quite　sound。　　I　attribute　this　to　my　prudence　in

always　dismounting　on　something　soft。　　Some　recommend　a　feather

bed；　but　I　think　an　Expert　is　better。



The　Expert　got　out　at　last；　brought　four　assistants　with

him。　　It　was　a　good　idea。　　These　four　held　the　graceful　cobweb

upright　while　I　climbed　into　the　saddle；　then　they　formed　in

column　and　marched　on　either　side　of　me　while　the　Expert　pushed

behind；　all　hands　assisted　at　the　dismount。



The　bicycle　had　what　is　called　the　〃wabbles；〃　and　had　them

very　badly。　　In　order　to　keep　my　position；　a　good　many　things

were　required　of　me；　and　in　every　instance　the　thing　required　was

against　nature。　　That　is　to　say；　that　whatever　the　needed　thing

might　be；　my　nature；　habit；　and　breeding　moved　me　to　attempt　it

in　one　way；　while　some　immutable　and　unsuspected　law　of　physics

required　that　it　be　done　in　just　the　other　way。　　I　perceived　by

this　how　radically　and　grotesquely　wrong　had　been　the　life…long

education　of　my　body　and　members。　　They　were　steeped　in

ignorance；　they　knew　nothingnothing　which　it　could　profit　them

to　know。　　For　instance；　if　I　found　myself　falling　to　the　right；　I

put　the　tiller　hard　down　the　other　way；　by　a　quite　natural

impulse；　and　so　violated　a　law；　and　kept　on　going　down。　　The　law

required　the　opposite　thingthe　big　wheel　must　be　turned　in　the

direction　in　which　you　are　falling。　　It　is　hard　to　believe　this；

when　you　are　told　it。　　And　not　merely　hard　to　believe　it；　but

impossible；　it　is　opposed　to　all　your　notions。　　And　it　is　just　as

hard　to　do　it；　after　you　do　come　to　believe　it。　　Believing　it；

and　knowing　by　the　most　convincing　proof　that　it　is　true；　does

not　help　it：　　you　can't　any　more　DO　it　than　you　could　before；　you

can　neither　force　nor　persuade　yourself　to　do　it　at　first。　　The

intellect　has　to　come　to　the　front；　now。　　It　has　to　teach　the

limbs　to　discard　their　old　education　and　adopt　the　new。



The　steps　of　one's　progress　are　distinctly　marked。　　At　the

end　of　each　lesson　he　knows　he　has　acquired　something；　and　he

also　knows　what　that　something　is；　and　likewise　that　it　will　stay

with　him。　　It　is　not　like　studying　German；　where　you　mull　along；

in　a　groping；　uncertain　way；　for　thirty　years；　and　at　last；　just

as　you　think　you've　got　it；　they　spring　the　subjunctive　on　you；

and　there　you　are。　　Noand　I　see　now；　plainly　enough；　that　the

great　pity　about　the　German　language　is；　that　you　can't　fall　off

it　and　hurt　yourself。　　There　is　nothing　like　that　feature　to　make

you　attend　strictly　to　business。　　But　I　also　see；　by　what　I　have

learned　of　bicycling；　that　the　right　and　only　sure　way　to　learn

German　is　by　the　bicycling　method。　　That　is　to　say；　take　a　grip

on　one　villainy　of　it　at　a　time；　leaving　that　one　half　learned。



When　you　have　reached　the　point　in　bicycling　where　you　can

balance　the　machine　tolerably　fairly　and　propel　it　and　steer　it；

then　comes　your　next　taskhow　to　mount　it。　　You　do　it　in　this

way：　　you　hop　along　behind　it　on　your　right　foot；　resting　the

other　on　the　mounting…peg；　and　grasping　the　tiller　with　your

hands。　　At　the　word；　you　rise　on　the　peg；　stiffen　your　left　leg；

hang　your　other　one　around　in　the　air　in　a　general　in　indefinite

way；　lean　your　stomach　against　the　rear　of　the　saddle；　and　then

fall　off；　maybe　on　one　side；　maybe　on　the　other；　but　you　fall　off。

You　get　up　and　do　it　again；　and　once　more；　and　then　several　times。



By　this　time　you　have　learned　to　keep　your　balance；　and　also

to　steer　without　wrenching　the　tiller　out　by　the　roots　（I　say

tiller　because　it　IS　a　tiller；　〃handle…bar〃　is　a　lamely

descriptive　phrase）。　　So　you　steer　along；　straight　ahead；　a　little

while；　then　you　rise　forward；　with　a　steady　strain；　bringing　your

right　leg；　and　then　your　body；　into　the　saddle；　catch　your

breath；　fetch　a　violent　hitch　this　way　and　then　that；　and　down

you　go　again。



But　you　have　ceased　to　mind　the　going　down　by　this　time；　you

are　getting　to　light　on　one　foot　or　the　other　with　considerable

certainty。　　Six　more　attempts　and　six　more　falls　make　you

perfect。　　You　land　in　the　saddle　comfortably；　next　time；　and　stay

therethat　is；　if　you　can　be　content　to　let　your　legs　dangle；

and　leave　the　pedals　alone　a　while；　but　if　you　grab　at　once　for

the　pedals；　you　are　gone　again。　　You　soon　learn　to　wait　a　little

and　perfect　your　balance　before　reaching　for　the　pedals；　then　the

mounting…art　is　acquired；　is　complete；　and　a　little　practice　will

make　it　simple　and　easy　to　you；　though　spectators　ought　to　keep

off　a　rod　or　two　to　one　side；　along　at　first；　if　you　have　nothing

against　them。



And　now　you　come　to　the　voluntary　dismount；　you　learned　the

other　kind　first　of　all。　　It　is　quite　easy　to　tell　one　how　to　do

the　voluntary　dismount；　the　words　are　few；　the　requirement

simple；　and　apparently　undifficult；　let　your　left　pedal　go　down

till　your　left　leg　is　nearly　straight；　turn　your　wheel　to　the

left；　and　get　off　as　you　would　from　a　horse。　　It　certainly　does

sound　exceedingly　easy；　but　it　isn't。　　I　don't　know　why　it　isn't

but　it　isn't。　　Try　as　you　may；　you　don't　get　down　as　you　would

from　a　horse；　you　get　down　as　you　would　from　a　house　afire。　　You

make　a　spectacle　of　yourself　every　time。





II



During　the　eight　days　I　took　a　daily　lesson　an　hour　and　a

half。　　At　the　end　of　this　twelve　working…hours'　appreticeship　I

was　graduatedin　the　rough。　　I　was　pronounced　competent　to

paddle　my　own　bicycle　without　outside　help。　　It　seems　incredible；

this　celerity　of　acquirement。　　It　takes　considerably　longer　than

that　to　learn　horseback…riding　in　the　rough。



Now　it　is　true　that　I　could　have　learned　without　a　teacher；

but　it　would　have　been　risky　for　me；　because　of　my　natural

clumsiness。　　The　self…taught　man　seldom　knows　anything

accurately；　and　he　does　not　know　a　tenth　as　much　as　he　could　have

known　if　he　had　worked　under　teachers；　and；　besides；　he　brags；

and　is　the　means　of　fooling　other　thoughtless　people　into　going

and　doing　as　he　himself　has　done。　　There　are　those　who　imagine

that　the　unlucky　accidents　of　lifelife's　〃experiences〃are　in

some　way　useful　to　us。　　I　wish　I　could　find　out　how。　　I　never

knew　one　of　them　to　happen　twice。　　They　always　change　off　and

swap　around　and　catch　you　on　your　inexperienced　side。　　If

personal　experience　can　be　worth　anything　as　an　education；　it

wouldn't　seem　likely　that　you　could　trip　Methuselah；　and　yet　if

that　old　person　could　come　back　here　it　is　more　that　likely　that

one　of　the　first　things　he　would　do　would　be　to　take　hold　of　one

of　these　electric　wires　and　tie　himself　all　up　in　a　knot。　　Now

the　surer　thing　and　the　wiser　thing　would　be　for　him　to　ask

somebody　whether　it　was　a　good　thing　to　take　hold　of。　　But　that

would　not　suit　him；　he　would　be　one　of　the　self…taught　kind　that

go　by　experience；　he　would　want　to　examine　for　himself。　　And　he

would　find；　for　his　instruction；　that　the　coiled　patriarch　shuns

the　electric　wire；　and　it　would　be　useful　to　him；　too；　and　would

leave　his　education　in　quite　a　complete　and　rounded…out

condition；　till　he　should　com