lady susan-第8部分

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knew　you；　I　had　no　idea　that　I　should　ever　love　you　as　I　now　do；　and　I　must



further　say　that　your　friendship　towards　me　is　more　particularly　gratifying



because　I　have　reason　to　believe　that　some　attempts　were　made　to　prejudice



you　against　me。　I　only　wish　that　they；　whoever　they　are；　to　whom　I　am



indebted　for　such　kind　intentions；　could　see　the　terms　on　which　we　now　are



together；　and　understand　the　real　affection　we　feel　for　each　other；　but　I



will　not　detain　you　any　longer。　God　bless　you；　for　your　goodness　to　me　and



my　girl；　and　continue　to　you　all　your　present　happiness。〃　What　can　one　say



of　such　a　woman；　my　dear　mother？　Such　earnestness　such　solemnity　of



expression！　and　yet　I　cannot　help　suspecting　the　truth　of　everything　she



says。　As　for　Reginald；　I　believe　he　does　not　know　what　to　make　of　the



matter。　When　Sir　James　came；　he　appeared　all　astonishment　and　perplexity；



the　folly　of　the　young　man　and　the　confusion　of　Frederica　entirely



engrossed　him；　and　though　a　little　private　discourse　with　Lady　Susan　has



since　had　its　effect；　he　is　still　hurt；　I　am　sure；　at　her　allowing　of　such



a　man's　attentions　to　her　daughter。　Sir　James　invited　himself　with　great



composure　to　remain　here　a　few　dayshoped　we　would　not　think　it　odd；　was



aware　of　its　being　very　impertinent；　but　he　took　the　liberty　of　a　relation；



and　concluded　by　wishing；　with　a　laugh；　that　he　might　be　really　one　very



soon。　Even　Lady　Susan　seemed　a　little　disconcerted　by　this　forwardness；　in



her　heart　I　am　persuaded　she　sincerely　wished　him　gone。　But　something　must



be　done　for　this　poor　girl；　if　her　feelings　are　such　as　both　I　and　her



uncle　believe　them　to　be。　She　must　not　be　sacrificed　to　policy　or　ambition；



and　she　must　not　be　left　to　suffer　from　the　dread　of　it。　The　girl　whose



heart　can　distinguish　Reginald　De　Courcy；　deserves；　however　he　may　slight



her；　a　better　fate　than　to　be　Sir　James　Martin's　wife。　As　soon　as　I　can　get



her　alone；　I　will　discover　the　real　truth；　but　she　seems　to　wish　to　avoid



me。　I　hope　this　does　not　proceed　from　anything　wrong；　and　that　I　shall　not



find　out　I　have　thought　too　well　of　her。　Her　behaviour　to　Sir　James



certainly　speaks　the　greatest　consciousness　and　embarrassment；　but　I　see



nothing　in　it　more　like　encouragement。　Adieu；　my　dear　mother。







Yours；　&c。；







C。　VERNON。























XXI











MISS　VERNON　TO　MR　DE　COURCY











Sir；I　hope　you　will　excuse　this　liberty；　I　am　forced　upon　it　by　the



greatest　distress；　or　I　should　be　ashamed　to　trouble　you。　I　am　very



miserable　about　Sir　James　Martin；　and　have　no　other　way　in　the　world　of



helping　myself　but　by　writing　to　you；　for　I　am　forbidden　even　speaking　to



my　uncle　and　aunt　on　the　subject；　and　this　being　the　case；　I　am　afraid　my



applying　to　you　will　appear　no　better　than　equivocation；　and　as　if　I



attended　to　the　letter　and　not　the　spirit　of　mamma's　commands。　But　if　you



do　not　take　my　part　and　persuade　her　to　break　it　off；　I　shall　be　half



distracted；　for　I　cannot　bear　him。　No　human　being　but　YOU　could　have　any



chance　of　prevailing　with　her。　If　you　will；　therefore；　have　the　unspeakably



great　kindness　of　taking　my　part　with　her；　and　persuading　her　to　send　Sir



James　away；　I　shall　be　more　obliged　to　you　than　it　is　possible　for　me　to



express。　I　always　disliked　him　from　the　first：　it　is　not　a　sudden　fancy；　I



assure　you；　sir；　I　always　thought　him　silly　and　impertinent　and



disagreeable；　and　now　he　is　grown　worse　than　ever。　I　would　rather　work　for



my　bread　than　marry　him。　I　do　not　know　how　to　apologize　enough　for　this



letter；　I　know　it　is　taking　so　great　a　liberty。　I　am　aware　how　dreadfully



angry　it　will　make　mamma；　but　I　remember　the　risk。







I　am；　Sir；　your　most　humble　servant；







F。　S。　V。























XXII











LADY　SUSAN　TO　MRS。　JOHNSON











Churchhill。











This　is　insufferable！　My　dearest　friend；　I　was　never　so　enraged　before；



and　must　relieve　myself　by　writing　to　you；　who　I　know　will　enter　into　all



my　feelings。　Who　should　come　on　Tuesday　but　Sir　James　Martin！　Guess　my



astonishment；　and　vexationfor；　as　you　well　know；　I　never　wished　him　to　be



seen　at　Churchhill。　What　a　pity　that　you　should　not　have　known　his



intentions！　Not　content　with　coming；　he　actually　invited　himself　to　remain



here　a　few　days。　I　could　have　poisoned　him！　I　made　the　best　of　it；　however；



and　told　my　story　with　great　success　to　Mrs。　Vernon；　who；　whatever　might　be



her　real　sentiments；　said　nothing　in　opposition　to　mine。　I　made　a　point



also　of　Frederica's　behaving　civilly　to　Sir　James；　and　gave　her　to



understand　that　I　was　absolutely　determined　on　her　marrying　him。　She　said



something　of　her　misery；　but　that　was　all。　I　have　for　some　time　been　more



particularly　resolved　on　the　match　from　seeing　the　rapid　increase　of　her



affection　for　Reginald；　and　from　not　feeling　secure　that　a　knowledge　of



such　affection　might　not　in　the　end　awaken　a　return。　Contemptible　as　a



regard　founded　only　on　compassion　must　make　them　both　in　my　eyes；　I　felt　by



no　means　assured　that　such　might　not　be　the　consequence。　It　is　true　that



Reginald　had　not　in　any　degree　grown　cool　towards　me；　but　yet　he　has　lately



mentioned　Frederica　spontaneously　and　unnecessarily；　and　once　said



something　in　praise　of　her　person。　HE　was　all　astonishment　at　the



appearance　of　my　visitor；　and　at　first　observed　Sir　James　with　an　attention



which　I　was　pleased　to　see　not　unmixed　with　jealousy；　but　unluckily　it　was



impossible　for　me　really　to　torment　him；　as　Sir　James；　though　extremely



gallant　to　me；　very　soon　made　the　whole　party　understand　that　his　heart　was



devoted　to　my　daughter。　I　had　no　great　difficulty　in　convincing　De　Courcy；



when　we　were　alone；　that　I　was　perfectly　justified；　all　things　considered；



in　desiring　the　match；　and　the　whole　business　seemed　most　comfortably



arranged。　They　could　none　of　them　help　perceiving　that　Sir　James　was　no



Solomon；　but　I　had　positively　forbidden　Frederica　complaining　to　Charles



Vernon　or　his　wife；　and　they　had　therefore　no　pretence　for　interference；



though　my　impertinent　sister；　I　believe；　wanted　only　opportunity　for　doing



so。　Everything；　however；　was　going　on　calmly　and　quietly；　and；　though　I



counted　the　hours　of　Sir　James's　stay；　my　mind　was　entirely　satisfied　with



the　posture　of　affairs。　Guess；　then；　what　I　must　feel　at　the　sudden



disturbance　of　all　my　schemes；　and　that；　too；　from　a　quarter　where　I　had



least　reason　to　expect　it。　Reginald　came　this　morning　into　my　dressing…room



with　a　very　unusual　solemnity　of　countenance；　and　after　some　preface



informed　me　in　so　many　words　that　he　wished　to　reason　with　me　on　the



impropriety　and　unkindness　of　allowing　Sir　James　Martin　to　address　my



daughter　contrary　to　her　inclinations。　I　was　all　amazement。　When　I　found



that　he　was　not　to　be　laughed　out　of　his　design；　I　calmly　begged　an



explanation；　and　desired　to　know　by　what　he　was　impelled；　and　by　whom



commissioned；　to　reprimand　me。　He　then　told　me；　mixing　in　his　speech　a　few



insolent　compliments　and　ill…timed　expressions　of　tenderness；　to　which　I



listened　with　perfect　indifference；　that　my　daughter　had　acquainted　him



with　some　circumstances　concerning　herself；　Sir　James；　and　me　which　had



given　him　great　uneasiness。　In　short；　I　found　that　she　had　in　the　first



place　actually　written　to　him　to　request　his　interference；　and　that；　on



receiving　her　letter；　he　had　conversed　with　her　on　the　subject　of　it；　in



order　to　understand　the　particulars；　and　to　assure　himself　of　her　real



wishes。　I　have　not　a　doubt　but　that　the　girl　took　this　opportunity　of



making　downright　love　to　him。　I　am　convinced　of　it　by　the　manner　in　which



he　spoke　of　her。　Much　good　may　such　love　do　him！　I　shall　ever　despise　the



man　who　can　be　gratified　by　the　passion　which　he　never　wished　to　inspire；



nor　solicited　the　avowal　of。　I　shall　always　detest　them　both。　He　can　have



no　true　regard　for　me；　or　he　would　not　have　listened　to　her；　and　SHE；　with



her　little　rebellious　heart　and　indelicate　feelings；　to　throw　herself　into



the　protection　of　a　young　man　with　whom　she　has　scarcely　ever　exchanged　two



words　before！　I　am　equally　confounded　at　HER　impudence　and　HIS　credulity。



How　dared　he　believe　what　she　told　him　in　my　disfavour！　Ought　he　not　to



have　felt　assured　that　I　must　have　unanswerable　motives　for　all　that　I　had



done？　Where　was　his　reliance　on　my　sense　and　goodness　then？　Where　the



resentment　which　true　love　would　have　dictated　against　the　person　defaming



methat　person；　too；　a　chit；　a　child；　without　talent　or　education；　whom　he



had　been　always　taught　to　despise？　I　was　calm　for　some　time；　but　the



greatest　degree　of　forbearance　may　be　overcome；　and　I　hope　I　was　afterwards



sufficiently　keen。　He　endeavoured；　long　endeavoured；　to　soften　my



resentment；　　but　that　woman　is　a　fool　indeed　who；　while　insulted　by



accusation；　can　be　worked　on　by　compliments。　At　length　he　left　me；　as



deeply　provoked　as　myself；　and　he　showed　his　anger　more。　I　was　quite　cool；



but　he　gave　way　to　the　most　violent　indignation；　I　may　therefore　expect　it



will　the　sooner　subside；　and　perhaps　his　may　be　vanished　for　ever；　while



mine　will　be　found　still　fresh　and　implacable。　He　is　now　shut　up　in　his



apartment；　whither　I　heard　him　go　on　leaving　mine。　How　unpleasant；　one



would　think；　must　be　his　reflections！　but　some　people's　feelings　are



incomprehensible。　I　have　not　yet　tranquillised　myself　enough　to　see



Frederica。　SHE　sh