utopia of usurers and other essays-第12部分

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Kingdom　of　Muscovy）；　if　we　see　Bavaria　taking　a　sudden　fancy　to　the　Bank
of　England；　or　the　King　of　the　Cannibal　Islands　suddenly　demanding　a
tribute　of　edible　boys　and　girls　from　England　and　America；　we　may　be　quite
certain　also　that　the　Leader　of　the　Labour　Party　will　rise；　with　a　slight
cough；　and　say：　〃It　would　be　a　difficult　task　to　apportion　the　blame
between　the　various　claims　which。。。〃



REVIVE　THE　COURT　JESTER

I　hope　the　Government　will　not　think　just　now　about　appointing　a　Poet
Laureate。　　I　hardly　think　they　can　be　altogether　in　the　right　mood。　　The
business　just　now　before　the　country　makes　a　very　good　detective　story；
but　as　a　national　epic　it　is　a　little　depressing。　　Jingo　literature　always
weakens　a　nation；　but　even　healthy　patriotic　literature　has　its　proper
time　and　occasion。　　For　instance；　Mr。　Newbolt　（who　has　been　suggested　for
the　post）　is　a　very　fine　poet；　but　I　think　his　patriotic　lyrics　would　just
now　rather　jar　upon　a　patriot。　　We　are　rather　too　much　concerned　about　our
practical　seamanship　to　feel　quite　confident　that　Drake　will　return　and
〃drum　them　up　the　Channel　as　he　drummed　them　long　ago。〃　　On　the　contrary；
we　have　an　uncomfortable　feeling　that　Drake's　ship　might　suddenly　go　to
the　bottom；　because　the　capitalists　have　made　Lloyd　George　abolish　the
Plimsoll　Line。　　One　could　not；　without　being　understood　ironically；　adjure
the　two　party　teams　to…day　to　〃play　up；　play　up　and　play　the　game；〃　or　to
〃love　the　game　more　than　the　prize。〃　　And　there　is　no　national　hero　at
this　moment　in　the　soldiering　lineunless；　perhaps；　it　is　Major
Archer…Sheeof　whom　anyone　would　be　likely　to　say：　〃Sed　miles；　sed　pro
patria。〃　　There　is；　indeed；　one　beautiful　poem　of　Mr。　Newbolt's　which　may
mingle　faintly　with　one's　thoughts　in　such　times；　but　that；　alas；　is　to　a
very　different　tune。　　I　mean　that　one　in　which　he　echoes　Turner's
conception　of　the　old　wooden　ship　vanishing　with　all　the　valiant　memories
of　the　English：


There's　a　far　bell　ringing
At　the　setting　of　the　sun；
And　a　phantom　voice　is　singing
Of　the　great　days　done。
There's　a　far　bell　ringing；
And　a　phantom　voice　is　singing
Of　a　fame　forever　clinging
To　the　great　days　done。
For　the　sunset　breezes　shiver；
Temeraire；　Temeraire；
And　she's　fading　down　the　river。。。。


Well；　well；　neither　you　nor　I　know　whether　she　is　fading　down　the　river　or
not。　　It　is　quite　enough　for　us　to　know；　as　King　Alfred　did；　that　a　great
many　pirates　have　landed　on　both　banks　of　the　Thames。


Praise　and　Prophecy　Impossible

At　this　moment　that　is　the　only　kind　of　patriotic　poem　that　could　satisfy
the　emotions　of　a　patriotic　person。　　But　it　certainly　is　not　the　sort　of
poem　that　is　expected　from　a　Poet　Laureate；　either　on　the　highest　or　the
lowest　theory　of　his　office。　　He　is　either　a　great　minstrel　singing　the
victories　of　a　great　king；　or　he　is　a　common　Court　official　like　the　Groom
of　the　Powder　Closet。　　In　the　first　case　his　praises　should　be　true；　in
the　second　case　they　will　nearly　always　be　false；　but　in　either　case　he
must　praise。　　And　what　there　is　for　him　to　praise　just　now　it　would　be
precious　hard　to　say。　　And　if　there　is　no　great　hope　of　a　real　poet；　there
is　still　less　hope　of　a　real　prophet。　　What　Newman　called；　I　think；　〃The
Prophetical　Office；〃　that　is；　the　institution　of　an　inspired　protest　even
against　an　inspired　religion；　certainly　would　not　do　in　modern　England。
The　Court　is　not　likely　to　keep　a　tame　prophet　in　order　to　encourage　him
to　be　wild。　　It　is　not　likely　to　pay　a　man　to　say　that　wolves　shall　howl
in　Downing…street　and　vultures　build　their　nests　in　Buckingham　Palace。　　So
vast　has　been　the　progress　of　humanity　that　these　two　things　are　quite
impossible。　　We　cannot　have　a　great　poet　praising　kings。　　We　cannot　have　a
great　prophet　denouncing　kings。　　So　I　have　to　fall　back　on　a　third
suggestion。


The　Field　for　a　Fool

Instead　of　reviving　the　Court　Poet；　why　not　revive　the　Court　Fool？　　He　is
the　only　person　who　could　do　any　good　at　this　moment　either　to　the　Royal
or　the　judicial　Courts。　　The　present　political　situation　is　utterly
unsuitable　for　the　purposes　of　a　great　poet。　　But　it　is　particularly
suitable　for　the　purposes　of　a　great　buffoon。　　The　old　jester　was　under
certain　privileges：　you　could　not　resent　the　jokes　of　a　fool；　just　as　you
cannot　resent　the　sermons　of　a　curate。　　Now；　what　the　present　Government
of　England　wants　is　neither　serious　praise　nor　serious　denunciation；　what
it　wants　is　satire。　　What　it　wants；　in　other　words；　is　realism　given　with
gusto。　　When　King　Louis　the　Eleventh　unexpectedly　visited　his　enemy；　the
Duke　of　Burgundy；　with　a　small　escort；　the　Duke's　jester　said　he　would
give　the　King　his　fool's　cap；　for　he　was　the　fool　now。　　And　when　the　Duke
replied　with　dignity；　〃And　suppose　I　treat　him　with　all　proper　respect？〃
the　fool　answered；　〃Then　I　will　give　it　to　you。〃　　That　is　the　kind　of
thing　that　somebody　ought　to　be　free　to　say　now。　　But　if　you　say　it　now
you　will　be　fined　a　hundred　pounds　at　the　least。


Carson's　Dilemma

For　the　things　that　have　been　happening　lately　are　not　merely　things　that
one　could　joke　about。　　They　are　themselves；　truly　and　intrinsically；　jokes。
I　mean　that　there　is　a　sort　of　epigram　of　unreason　in　the　situation
itself；　as　there　was　in　the　situation　where　there　was　jam　yesterday　and
jam　to…morrow　but　never　jam　to…day。　　Take；　for　instance；　the　extraordinary
case　of　Sir　Edward　Carson。　　The　point　is　not　whether　we　regard　his
attitude　in　Belfast　as　the　defiance　of　a　sincere　and　dogmatic　rebel；　or　as
the　bluff　of　a　party　hack　and　mountebank。　　The　point　is　not　whether　we
regard　his　defence　of　the　Government　at　the　Old　Bailey　as　a　chivalrous　and
reluctant　duty　done　as　an　advocate　or　a　friend；　or　as　a　mere　case　of　a
lawyer　selling　his　soul　for　a　fat　brief。　　The　point　is　that　whichever　of
the　two　actions　we　approve；　and　whichever　of　the　four　explanations　we
adopt；　Sir　Edward's　position　is　still　raving　nonsense。　　On　any　argument；
he　cannot　escape　from　his　dilemma。　　It　may　be　argued　that　laws　and　customs
should　be　obeyed　whatever　our　private　feelings；　and　that　it　is　an
established　custom　to　accept　a　brief　in　such　a　case。　　But　then　it　is　a
somewhat　more　established　custom　to　obey　an　Act　of　Parliament　and　to　keep
the　peace。　　It　may　be　argued　that　extreme　misgovernment　justifies　men　in
Ulster　or　elsewhere　in　refusing　to　obey　the　law。　　But　then　it　would
justify　them　even　more　in　refusing　to　appear　professionally　in　a　law　court。
Etiquette　cannot　be　at　once　so　unimportant　that　Carson　may　shoot　at　the
King's　uniform；　and　yet　so　important　that　he　must　always　be　ready　to　put
on　his　own。　　The　Government　cannot　be　so　disreputable　that　Carson　need　not
lay　down　his　gun；　and　yet　so　respectable　that　he　is　bound　to　put　on　his
wig。　　Carson　cannot　at　once　be　so　fierce　that　he　can　kill　in　what　he
considers　a　good　cause；　and　yet　so　meek　that　he　must　argue　in　what　he
considers　a　bad　cause。　　Obedience　or　disobedience；　conventional　or
unconventional；　a　solicitor's　letter　cannot　be　more　sacred　than　the　King's
writ；　a　blue　bag　cannot　be　more　rational　than　the　British　flag。　　The　thing
is　rubbish　read　anyway；　and　the　only　difficulty　is　to　get　a　joke　good
enough　to　express　it。　　It　is　a　case　for　the　Court　Jester。　　The　phantasy
of　it　could　only　be　expressed　by　some　huge　ceremonial　hoax。　　Carson　ought
to　be　crowned　with　the　shamrocks　and　emeralds　and　followed　by　green…clad
minstrels　of　the　Clan…na…Gael；　playing　〃The　Wearing　of　the　Green。〃


Belated　Chattiness　by　Wireless

But　all　the　recent　events　are　like　that。　　They　are　practical　jokes。　　The
jokes　do　not　need　to　be　made：　they　only　need　to　be　pointed　out。　　You　and
I　do　not　talk　and　act　as　the　Isaacs　brothers　talked　and　acted；　by　their
own　most　favourable　account　of　themselves；　and　even　their　account　of
themselves　was　by　no　means　favourable。　　You　and　I　do　not　talk　of　meeting
our　own　born　brother　〃at　a　family　function〃　as　if　he　were　some　infinitely
distant　cousin　whom　we　only　met　at　Christmas。　　You　and　I；　when　we　suddenly
feel　inclined　for　a　chat　with　the　same　brother　about　his　dinner　and　the
Coal　Strike；　do　not　generally　select　either　wireless　telegraphy　or　the
Atlantic　Cable　as　the　most　obvious　and　economical　channel　for　that
outburst　of　belated　chattiness。　　You　and　I　do　not　talk；　if　it　is　proposed
to　start　a　railway　between　Catsville　and　Dogtown；　as　if　the　putting　up　of
a　station　at　Dogtown　could　have　no　kind　of　economic　effect　on　the　putting
up　of　a　station　at　Catsville。　　You　and　I　do　not　think　it　candid　to　say
that　when　we　are　at　one　end　of　a　telephone　we　have　no　sort　of　connection
with　the　other　end。　　These　things　have　got　into　the　region　of　farce；　and
should　be　dealt　with　farcically；　not　even　ferociously。


A　Fool　Who　Shall　Be　Free

In　the　Roman　Republic　there　was　a　Tribune　of　the　People；　whose　person　was
inviolable　like　an　ambassador's。　　There　was　much　the　same　idea　in　Becket's
attempt　to　remove　the　Priest；　who　was　then　the　popular　champion；　from　the
ordinary　courts。　　We　shall　have　no　Tribune；　for　we　have　no　republic。　　We
shall　have　no　Priest；　for　we　have　no　religion。　　The　best　we　deserve　or　can
expect　is　a　Fool　who　shall　be　free；　and　who　shall　deliver　us　with　laughter。




THE　ART　OF　MISSING　THE　POINT

Missing　the　point　is　a　very　fine　art；　and　has　been　carried　to　something
like　perfection　by　politicians　and　Pressmen　to…day。　　For　the　point　is
generally　a　very　sharp　point；　and　is；　moreover；　sharp　at　both　ends。　　That
is　to　say　that　both　parties　would　probably　impale　themselves　in　an
uncomfortable　manner　if　they　did　not　manage　to　avoid　it　altogether。　　I
have　just　been　looking　at　the　election　address　of　the　official　Liberal
candidate　for　the　part　of　the　country　in　which　I　live；　and　though　it　is；
if　anything；　rather　more　logical　and　free　from　cant　than　most　other
documents　of　the　sort　it　is　an　excellent　example　of　missing　the　point。
The　candidate　has　to　go　boring　on　about　Free　Trade　and　Land　Reform　and
Education；　and　nobody　reading　it　could　possibly　imagine　that　in　the　town
of　Wycombe；　where　the　poll　will　be　declared；　the　capital　of　the　Wycombe
division　of　Bucks　which　the　candidate　is　contesting；　centre　of　the
important　and　vital　trade　on　wh