sketches of young gentlemen-第1部分

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Sketches　of　Young　Gentlemen



by　Charles　Dickens











TO　THE　YOUNG　LADIES

OF　THE

UNITED　KINGDOM　OF　GREAT　BRITAIN　AND　IRELAND；

ALSO

THE　YOUNG　LADIES

OF

THE　PRINCIPALITY　OF　WALES；

AND　LIKEWISE

THE　YOUNG　LADIES

RESIDENT　IN　THE　ISLES　OF

GUERNSEY；　JERSEY；　ALDERNEY；　AND　SARK；

THE　HUMBLE　DEDICATION　OF　THEIR　DEVOTED　ADMIRER；



SHEWETH；　…



THAT　your　Dedicator　has　perused；　with　feelings　of　virtuous

indignation；　a　work　purporting　to　be　'Sketches　of　Young　Ladies；'

written　by　Quiz；　illustrated　by　Phiz；　and　published　in　one　volume；

square　twelvemo。



THAT　after　an　attentive　and　vigilant　perusal　of　the　said　work；　your

Dedicator　is　humbly　of　opinion　that　so　many　libels；　upon　your

Honourable　sex；　were　never　contained　in　any　previously　published

work；　in　twelvemo　or　any　other　mo。



THAT　in　the　title　page　and　preface　to　the　said　work；　your

Honourable　sex　are　described　and　classified　as　animals；　and

although　your　Dedicator　is　not　at　present　prepared　to　deny　that　you

ARE　animals；　still　he　humbly　submits　that　it　is　not　polite　to　call

you　so。



THAT　in　the　aforesaid　preface；　your　Honourable　sex　are　also

described　as　Troglodites；　which；　being　a　hard　word；　may；　for　aught

your　Honourable　sex　or　your　Dedicator　can　say　to　the　contrary；　be

an　injurious　and　disrespectful　appellation。



THAT　the　author　of　the　said　work　applied　himself　to　his　task　in

malice　prepense　and　with　wickedness　aforethought；　a　fact　which；

your　Dedicator　contends；　is　sufficiently　demonstrated；　by　his

assuming　the　name　of　Quiz；　which；　your　Dedicator　submits；　denotes　a

foregone　conclusion；　and　implies　an　intention　of　quizzing。



THAT　in　the　execution　of　his　evil　design；　the　said　Quiz；　or　author

of　the　said　work；　must　have　betrayed　some　trust　or　confidence

reposed　in　him　by　some　members　of　your　Honourable　sex；　otherwise　he

never　could　have　acquired　so　much　information　relative　to　the

manners　and　customs　of　your　Honourable　sex　in　general。



THAT　actuated　by　these　considerations；　and　further　moved　by　various

slanders　and　insinuations　respecting　your　Honourable　sex　contained

in　the　said　work；　square　twelvemo；　entitled　'Sketches　of　Young

Ladies；'　your　Dedicator　ventures　to　produce　another　work；　square

twelvemo；　entitled　'Sketches　of　Young　Gentlemen；'　of　which　he　now

solicits　your　acceptance　and　approval。



THAT　as　the　Young　Ladies　are　the　best　companions　of　the　Young

Gentlemen；　so　the　Young　Gentlemen　should　be　the　best　companions　of

the　Young　Ladies；　and　extending　the　comparison　from　animals　（to

quote　the　disrespectful　language　of　the　said　Quiz）　to　inanimate

objects；　your　Dedicator　humbly　suggests；　that　such　of　your

Honourable　sex　as　purchased　the　bane　should　possess　themselves　of

the　antidote；　and　that　those　of　your　Honourable　sex　who　were　not

rash　enough　to　take　the　first；　should　lose　no　time　in　swallowing

the　last；　…prevention　being　in　all　cases　better　than　cure；　as　we

are　informed　upon　the　authority；　not　only　of　general

acknowledgment；　but　also　of　traditionary　wisdom。



THAT　with　reference　to　the　said　bane　and　antidote；　your　Dedicator

has　no　further　remarks　to　make；　than　are　comprised　in　the　printed

directions　issued　with　Doctor　Morison's　pills；　namely；　that

whenever　your　Honourable　sex　take　twenty…five　of　Number；　1；　you

will　be　pleased　to　take　fifty　of　Number　2；　without　delay。



And　your　Dedicator　shall　ever　pray；　&c。







THE　BASHFUL　YOUNG　GENTLEMAN







We　found　ourself　seated　at　a　small　dinner　party　the　other　day；

opposite　a　stranger　of　such　singular　appearance　and　manner；　that　he

irresistibly　attracted　our　attention。



This　was　a　fresh…coloured　young　gentleman；　with　as　good　a　promise

of　light　whisker　as　one　might　wish　to　see；　and　possessed　of　a　very

velvet…like；　soft…looking　countenance。　　We　do　not　use　the　latter

term　invidiously；　but　merely　to　denote　a　pair　of　smooth；　plump；

highly…coloured　cheeks　of　capacious　dimensions；　and　a　mouth　rather

remarkable　for　the　fresh　hue　of　the　lips　than　for　any　marked　or

striking　expression　it　presented。　　His　whole　face　was　suffused　with

a　crimson　blush；　and　bore　that　downcast；　timid；　retiring　look；

which　betokens　a　man　ill　at　ease　with　himself。



There　was　nothing　in　these　symptoms　to　attract　more　than　a　passing

remark；　but　our　attention　had　been　originally　drawn　to　the　bashful

young　gentleman；　on　his　first　appearance　in　the　drawing…room　above…

stairs；　into　which　he　was　no　sooner　introduced；　than　making　his　way

towards　us　who　were　standing　in　a　window；　and　wholly　neglecting

several　persons　who　warmly　accosted　him；　he　seized　our　hand　with

visible　emotion；　and　pressed　it　with　a　convulsive　grasp　for　a　good

couple　of　minutes；　after　which　he　dived　in　a　nervous　manner　across

the　room；　oversetting　in　his　way　a　fine　little　girl　of　six　years

and　a　quarter　old　…　and　shrouding　himself　behind　some　hangings；　was

seen　no　more；　until　the　eagle　eye　of　the　hostess　detecting　him　in

his　concealment；　on　the　announcement　of　dinner；　he　was　requested　to

pair　off　with　a　lively　single　lady；　of　two　or　three　and　thirty。



This　most　flattering　salutation　from　a　perfect　stranger；　would　have

gratified　us　not　a　little　as　a　token　of　his　having　held　us　in　high

respect；　and　for　that　reason　been　desirous　of　our　acquaintance；　if

we　had　not　suspected　from　the　first；　that　the　young　gentleman；　in

making　a　desperate　effort　to　get　through　the　ceremony　of

introduction；　had；　in　the　bewilderment　of　his　ideas；　shaken　hands

with　us　at　random。　　This　impression　was　fully　confirmed　by　the

subsequent　behaviour　of　the　bashful　young　gentleman　in　question；

which　we　noted　particularly；　with　the　view　of　ascertaining　whether

we　were　right　in　our　conjecture。



The　young　gentleman　seated　himself　at　table　with　evident

misgivings；　and　turning　sharp　round　to　pay　attention　to　some

observation　of　his　loquacious　neighbour；　overset　his　bread。　　There

was　nothing　very　bad　in　this；　and　if　he　had　had　the　presence　of

mind　to　let　it　go；　and　say　nothing　about　it；　nobody　but　the　man　who

had　laid　the　cloth　would　have　been　a　bit　the　wiser；　but　the　young

gentleman　in　various　semi…successful　attempts　to　prevent　its　fall；

played　with　it　a　little；　as　gentlemen　in　the　streets　may　be　seen　to

do　with　their　hats　on　a　windy　day；　and　then　giving　the　roll　a　smart

rap　in　his　anxiety　to　catch　it；　knocked　it　with　great　adroitness

into　a　tureen　of　white　soup　at　some　distance；　to　the　unspeakable

terror　and　disturbance　of　a　very　amiable　bald　gentleman；　who　was

dispensing　the　contents。　　We　thought　the　bashful　young　gentleman

would　have　gone　off　in　an　apoplectic　fit；　consequent　upon　the

violent　rush　of　blood　to　his　face　at　the　occurrence　of　this

catastrophe。



From　this　moment　we　perceived；　in　the　phraseology　of　the　fancy；

that　it　was　'all　up'　with　the　bashful　young　gentleman；　and　so

indeed　it　was。　　Several　benevolent　persons　endeavoured　to　relieve

his　embarrassment　by　taking　wine　with　him；　but　finding　that　it　only

augmented　his　sufferings；　and　that　after　mingling　sherry；

champagne；　hock；　and　moselle　together；　he　applied　the　greater　part

of　the　mixture　externally；　instead　of　internally；　they　gradually

dropped　off；　and　left　him　to　the　exclusive　care　of　the　talkative

lady；　who；　not　noting　the　wildness　of　his　eye；　firmly　believed　she

had　secured　a　listener。　　He　broke　a　glass　or　two　in　the　course　of

the　meal；　and　disappeared　shortly　afterwards；　it　is　inferred　that

he　went　away　in　some　confusion；　inasmuch　as　he　left　the　house　in

another　gentleman's　coat；　and　the　footman's　hat。



This　little　incident　led　us　to　reflect　upon　the　most　prominent

characteristics　of　bashful　young　gentlemen　in　the　abstract；　and　as

this　portable　volume　will　be　the　great　text…book　of　young　ladies　in

all　future　generations；　we　record　them　here　for　their　guidance　and

behoof。



If　the　bashful　young　gentleman；　in　turning　a　street　corner；　chance

to　stumble　suddenly　upon　two　or　three　young　ladies　of　his

acquaintance；　nothing　can　exceed　his　confusion　and　agitation。　　His

first　impulse　is　to　make　a　great　variety　of　bows；　and　dart　past

them；　which　he　does　until；　observing　that　they　wish　to　stop；　but

are　uncertain　whether　to　do　so　or　not；　he　makes　several　feints　of

returning；　which　causes　them　to　do　the　same；　and　at　length；　after　a

great　quantity　of　unnecessary　dodging　and　falling　up　against　the

other　passengers；　he　returns　and　shakes　hands　most　affectionately

with　all　of　them；　in　doing　which　he　knocks　out　of　their　grasp

sundry　little　parcels；　which　he　hastily　picks　up；　and　returns　very

muddy　and　disordered。　　The　chances　are　that　the　bashful　young

gentleman　then　observes　it　is　very　fine　weather；　and　being　reminded

that　it　has　only　just　left　off　raining　for　the　first　time　these

three　days；　he　blushes　very　much；　and　smiles　as　if　he　had　said　a

very　good　thing。　　The　young　lady　who　was　most　anxious　to　speak；

here　inquires；　with　an　air　of　great　commiseration；　how　his　dear

sister　Harriet　is　to…day；　to　which　the　young　gentleman；　without　the

slightest　consideration；　replies　with　many　thanks；　that　she　is

remarkably　well。　　'Well；　Mr。　Hopkins！'　cries　the　young　lady；　'why；

we　heard　she　was　bled　yesterday　evening；　and　have　been　perfectly

miserable　about　her。'　　'Oh；　ah；'　says　the　young　gentleman；　'so　she

was。　　Oh；　she's　very　ill；　very　ill　indeed。'　　The　young　gentleman

then　shakes　his　head；　and　looks　very　desponding　（he　has　been

smiling　perpetually　up　to　this　time）；　and　after　a　short　pause；

gives　his　glove　a　great　wrench　at　the　wrist；　and　says；　with　a

strong　emphasis　on　the　adjective；　'GOOD　morning；　GOOD　morning。'

And　making　a　great　number　of　bows　in　acknowledgment　of　several

little　messages　to　his　sister；　walks　backward　a　few　paces；　and

comes　with　great　violence　against　a　lamp…post；　knocking　his　hat　off

in　the　contact；　which　in　his　mental　confusion　and　bodily　pain　he　is

going　to　walk　away　without；　until　a　great　roar　from　a　carter

attracts　his　attent