sketches of young gentlemen-第4部分

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circumstance；　because；　although　the　analogy　may　in　some　degree　hold

good　in　the　case　of　mail　coachmen　and　guards；　still　general　postmen

wear　red　coats；　and　THEY　are　not　to　our　knowledge　better　received

than　other　men；　nor　are　firemen　either；　who　wear　（or　used　to　wear）

not　only　red　coats；　but　very　resplendent　and　massive　badges　besides

…　much　larger　than　epaulettes。　　Neither　do　the　twopenny　post…office

boys；　if　the　result　of　our　inquiries　be　correct；　find　any　peculiar

favour　in　woman's　eyes；　although　they　wear　very　bright　red　jackets；

and　have　the　additional　advantage　of　constantly　appearing　in　public

on　horseback；　which　last　circumstance　may　be　naturally　supposed　to

be　greatly　in　their　favour。



We　have　sometimes　thought　that　this　phenomenon　may　take　its　rise　in

the　conventional　behaviour　of　captains　and　colonels　and　other

gentlemen　in　red　coats　on　the　stage；　where　they　are　invariably

represented　as　fine　swaggering　fellows；　talking　of　nothing　but

charming　girls；　their　king　and　country；　their　honour；　and　their

debts；　and　crowing　over　the　inferior　classes　of　the　community；　whom

they　occasionally　treat　with　a　little　gentlemanly　swindling；　no

less　to　the　improvement　and　pleasure　of　the　audience；　than　to　the

satisfaction　and　approval　of　the　choice　spirits　who　consort　with

them。　　But　we　will　not　devote　these　pages　to　our　speculations　upon

the　subject；　inasmuch　as　our　business　at　the　present　moment　is　not

so　much　with　the　young　ladies　who　are　bewitched　by　her　Majesty's

livery　as　with　the　young　gentlemen　whose　heads　are　turned　by　it。

For　'heads'　we　had　written　'brains；'　but　upon　consideration；　we

think　the　former　the　more　appropriate　word　of　the　two。



These　young　gentlemen　may　be　divided　into　two　classes　…　young

gentlemen　who　are　actually　in　the　army；　and　young　gentlemen　who；

having　an　intense　and　enthusiastic　admiration　for　all　things

appertaining　to　a　military　life；　are　compelled　by　adverse　fortune

or　adverse　relations　to　wear　out　their　existence　in　some　ignoble

counting…house。　　We　will　take　this　latter　description　of　military

young　gentlemen　first。



The　whole　heart　and　soul　of　the　military　young　gentleman　are

concentrated　in　his　favourite　topic。　　There　is　nothing　that　he　is

so　learned　upon　as　uniforms；　he　will　tell　you；　without　faltering

for　an　instant；　what　the　habiliments　of　any　one　regiment　are　turned

up　with；　what　regiment　wear　stripes　down　the　outside　and　inside　of

the　leg；　and　how　many　buttons　the　Tenth　had　on　their　coats；　he

knows　to　a　fraction　how　many　yards　and　odd　inches　of　gold　lace　it

takes　to　make　an　ensign　in　the　Guards；　is　deeply　read　in　the

comparative　merits　of　different　bands；　and　the　apparelling　of

trumpeters；　and　is　very　luminous　indeed　in　descanting　upon　'crack

regiments；'　and　the　'crack'　gentlemen　who　compose　them；　of　whose

mightiness　and　grandeur　he　is　never　tired　of　telling。



We　were　suggesting　to　a　military　young　gentleman　only　the　other

day；　after　he　had　related　to　us　several　dazzling　instances　of　the

profusion　of　half…a…dozen　honourable　ensign　somebodies　or　nobodies

in　the　articles　of　kid　gloves　and　polished　boots；　that　possibly

'cracked'　regiments　would　be　an　improvement　upon　'crack；'　as　being

a　more　expressive　and　appropriate　designation；　when　he　suddenly

interrupted　us　by　pulling　out　his　watch；　and　observing　that　he　must

hurry　off　to　the　Park　in　a　cab；　or　he　would　be　too　late　to　hear　the

band　play。　　Not　wishing　to　interfere　with　so　important　an

engagement；　and　being　in　fact　already　slightly　overwhelmed　by　the

anecdotes　of　the　honourable　ensigns　afore…mentioned；　we　made　no

attempt　to　detain　the　military　young　gentleman；　but　parted　company

with　ready　good…will。



Some　three　or　four　hours　afterwards；　we　chanced　to　be　walking　down

Whitehall；　on　the　Admiralty　side　of　the　way；　when；　as　we　drew　near

to　one　of　the　little　stone　places　in　which　a　couple　of　horse

soldiers　mount　guard　in　the　daytime；　we　were　attracted　by　the

motionless　appearance　and　eager　gaze　of　a　young　gentleman；　who　was

devouring　both　man　and　horse　with　his　eyes；　so　eagerly；　that　he

seemed　deaf　and　blind　to　all　that　was　passing　around　him。　　We　were

not　much　surprised　at　the　discovery　that　it　was　our　friend；　the

military　young　gentleman；　but　we　WERE　a　little　astonished　when　we

returned　from　a　walk　to　South　Lambeth　to　find　him　still　there；

looking　on　with　the　same　intensity　as　before。　　As　it　was　a　very

windy　day；　we　felt　bound　to　awaken　the　young　gentleman　from　his

reverie；　when　he　inquired　of　us　with　great　enthusiasm；　whether

'that　was　not　a　glorious　spectacle；'　and　proceeded　to　give　us　a

detailed　account　of　the　weight　of　every　article　of　the　spectacle's

trappings；　from　the　man's　gloves　to　the　horse's　shoes。



We　have　made　it　a　practice　since；　to　take　the　Horse　Guards　in　our

daily　walk；　and　we　find　it　is　the　custom　of　military　young

gentlemen　to　plant　themselves　opposite　the　sentries；　and

contemplate　them　at　leisure；　in　periods　varying　from　fifteen

minutes　to　fifty；　and　averaging　twenty…five。　　We　were　much　struck　a

day　or　two　since；　by　the　behaviour　of　a　very　promising　young

butcher　who　（evincing　an　interest　in　the　service；　which　cannot　be

too　strongly　commanded　or　encouraged）；　after　a　prolonged　inspection

of　the　sentry；　proceeded　to　handle　his　boots　with　great　curiosity；

and　as　much　composure　and　indifference　as　if　the　man　were　wax…work。



But　the　really　military　young　gentleman　is　waiting　all　this　time；

and　at　the　very　moment　that　an　apology　rises　to　our　lips；　he

emerges　from　the　barrack　gate　（he　is　quartered　in　a　garrison　town）；

and　takes　the　way　towards　the　high　street。　　He　wears　his　undress

uniform；　which　somewhat　mars　the　glory　of　his　outward　man；　but

still　how　great；　how　grand；　he　is！　　What　a　happy　mixture　of　ease

and　ferocity　in　his　gait　and　carriage；　and　how　lightly　he　carries

that　dreadful　sword　under　his　arm；　making　no　more　ado　about　it　than

if　it　were　a　silk　umbrella！　　The　lion　is　sleeping：　　only　think　if

an　enemy　were　in　sight；　how　soon　he'd　whip　it　out　of　the　scabbard；

and　what　a　terrible　fellow　he　would　be！



But　he　walks　on；　thinking　of　nothing　less　than　blood　and　slaughter；

and　now　he　comes　in　sight　of　three　other　military　young　gentlemen；

arm…in…arm；　who　are　bearing　down　towards　him；　clanking　their　iron

heels　on　the　pavement；　and　clashing　their　swords　with　a　noise；

which　should　cause　all　peaceful　men　to　quail　at　heart。　　They　stop

to　talk。　　See　how　the　flaxen…haired　young　gentleman　with　the　weak

legs　…　he　who　has　his　pocket…handkerchief　thrust　into　the　breast　of

his　coat…glares　upon　the　fainthearted　civilians　who　linger　to　look

upon　his　glory；　how　the　next　young　gentleman　elevates　his　head　in

the　air；　and　majestically　places　his　arms　a…kimbo；　while　the　third

stands　with　his　legs　very　wide　apart；　and　clasps　his　hands　behind

him。　　Well　may　we　inquire　…　not　in　familiar　jest；　but　in　respectful

earnest　…　if　you　call　that　nothing。　　Oh！　if　some　encroaching

foreign　power　…　the　Emperor　of　Russia；　for　instance；　or　any　of

those　deep　fellows；　could　only　see　those　military　young　gentlemen

as　they　move　on　together　towards　the　billiard…room　over　the　way；

wouldn't　he　tremble　a　little！



And　then；　at　the　Theatre　at　night；　when　the　performances　are　by

command　of　Colonel　Fitz…Sordust　and　the　officers　of　the　garrison　…

what　a　splendid　sight　it　is！　　How　sternly　the　defenders　of　their

country　look　round　the　house　as　if　in　mute　assurance　to　the

audience；　that　they　may　make　themselves　comfortable　regarding　any

foreign　invasion；　for　they　（the　military　young　gentlemen）　are

keeping　a　sharp　look…out；　and　are　ready　for　anything。　　And　what　a

contrast　between　them；　and　that　stage…box　full　of　grey…headed

officers　with　tokens　of　many　battles　about　them；　who　have　nothing

at　all　in　common　with　the　military　young　gentlemen；　and　who　…　but

for　an　old…fashioned　kind　of　manly　dignity　in　their　looks　and

bearing　…　might　be　common　hard…working　soldiers　for　anything　they

take　the　pains　to　announce　to　the　contrary！



Ah！　here　is　a　family　just　come　in　who　recognise　the　flaxen…headed

young　gentleman；　and　the　flaxen…headed　young　gentleman　recognises

them　too；　only　he　doesn't　care　to　show　it　just　now。　　Very　well　done

indeed！　　He　talks　louder　to　the　little　group　of　military　young

gentlemen　who　are　standing　by　him；　and　coughs　to　induce　some　ladies

in　the　next　box　but　one　to　look　round；　in　order　that　their　faces

may　undergo　the　same　ordeal　of　criticism　to　which　they　have

subjected；　in　not　a　wholly　inaudible　tone；　the　majority　of　the

female　portion　of　the　audience。　　Oh！　a　gentleman　in　the　same　box

looks　round　as　if　he　were　disposed　to　resent　this　as　an

impertinence；　and　the　flaxen…headed　young　gentleman　sees　his

friends　at　once；　and　hurries　away　to　them　with　the　most　charming

cordiality。



Three　young　ladies；　one　young　man；　and　the　mamma　of　the　party；

receive　the　military　young　gentleman　with　great　warmth　and

politeness；　and　in　five　minutes　afterwards　the　military　young

gentleman；　stimulated　by　the　mamma；　introduces　the　two　other

military　young　gentlemen　with　whom　he　was　walking　in　the　morning；

who　take　their　seats　behind　the　young　ladies　and　commence

conversation；　whereat　the　mamma　bestows　a　triumphant　bow　upon　a

rival　mamma；　who　has　not　succeeded　in　decoying　any　military　young

gentlemen；　and　prepares　to　consider　her　visitors　from　that　moment

three　of　the　most　elegant　and　superior　young　gentlemen　in　the　whole

world。







THE　POLITICAL　YOUNG　GENTLEMAN







Once　upon　a　time　…　NOT　in　the　days　when　pigs　drank　wine；　but　in　a

more　recent　period　of　our　history　…　it　was　customary　to　banish

politics　when　ladies　were　present。　　If　this　usage　still　prevailed；

we　should　have　had　no　chapter　for　political　young　gentlemen；　for

ladies　would　have　neither　known　nor　cared　what　kind　of　monster　a

political　young　gentleman　was。　　But　as　this　good　custom　in　common

with　many　others　has　'gone　out；'　and　left　no　word　when　i