sketches of young gentlemen-第7部分

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about　them　at　a　glance。　　'Now　let　us　hear　your　opinion　of　young

Mrs。　Barker；'　says　some　great　believer　in　the　powers　of　Mr。

Fairfax；　'but　don't　be　too　severe。'　　'I　never　am　severe；'　replies

the　censorious　young　gentleman。　　'Well；　never　mind　that　now。　　She

is　very　lady…like；　is　she　not？'　　'Lady…like！'　repeats　the

censorious　young　gentleman　（for　he　always　repeats　when　he　is　at　a

loss　for　anything　to　say）。　　'Did　you　observe　her　manner？　　Bless　my

heart　and　soul；　Mrs。　Thompson；　did　you　observe　her　manner？　…　that's

all　I　ask。'　　'I　thought　I　had　done　so；'　rejoins　the　poor　lady；　much

perplexed；　'I　did　not　observe　it　very　closely　perhaps。'　　'Oh；　not

very　closely；'　rejoins　the　censorious　young　gentleman；

triumphantly。　　'Very　good；　then　I　did。　　Let　us　talk　no　more　about

her。'　　The　censorious　young　gentleman　purses　up　his　lips；　and　nods

his　head　sagely；　as　he　says　this；　and　it　is　forthwith　whispered

about；　that　Mr。　Fairfax　（who；　though　he　is　a　little　prejudiced；

must　be　admitted　to　be　a　very　excellent　judge）　has　observed

something　exceedingly　odd　in　Mrs。　Barker's　manner。







THE　FUNNY　YOUNG　GENTLEMAN







As　one　funny　young　gentleman　will　serve　as　a　sample　of　all　funny

young　Gentlemen　we　purpose　merely　to　note　down　the　conduct　and

behaviour　of　an　individual　specimen　of　this　class；　whom　we　happened

to　meet　at　an　annual　family　Christmas　party　in　the　course　of　this

very　last　Christmas　that　ever　came。



We　were　all　seated　round　a　blazing　fire　which　crackled　pleasantly

as　the　guests　talked　merrily　and　the　urn　steamed　cheerily　…　for；

being　an　old…fashioned　party；　there　WAS　an　urn；　and　a　teapot

besides　…　when　there　came　a　postman's　knock　at　the　door；　so　violent

and　sudden；　that　it　startled　the　whole　circle；　and　actually　caused

two　or　three　very　interesting　and　most　unaffected　young　ladies　to

scream　aloud　and　to　exhibit　many　afflicting　symptoms　of　terror　and

distress；　until　they　had　been　several　times　assured　by　their

respective　adorers；　that　they　were　in　no　danger。　　We　were　about　to

remark　that　it　was　surely　beyond　post…time；　and　must　have　been　a

runaway　knock；　when　our　host；　who　had　hitherto　been　paralysed　with

wonder；　sank　into　a　chair　in　a　perfect　ecstasy　of　laughter；　and

offered　to　lay　twenty　pounds　that　it　was　that　droll　dog　Griggins。

He　had　no　sooner　said　this；　than　the　majority　of　the　company　and

all　the　children　of　the　house　burst　into　a　roar　of　laughter　too；　as

if　some　inimitable　joke　flashed　upon　them　simultaneously；　and　gave

vent　to　various　exclamations　of　…　To　be　sure　it　must　be　Griggins；

and　How　like　him　that　was；　and　What　spirits　he　was　always　in！　with

many　other　commendatory　remarks　of　the　like　nature。



Not　having　the　happiness　to　know　Griggins；　we　became　extremely

desirous　to　see　so　pleasant　a　fellow；　the　more　especially　as　a

stout　gentleman　with　a　powdered　head；　who　was　sitting　with　his

breeches　buckles　almost　touching　the　hob；　whispered　us　he　was　a　wit

of　the　first　water；　when　the　door　opened；　and　Mr。　Griggins　being

announced；　presented　himself；　amidst　another　shout　of　laughter　and

a　loud　clapping　of　hands　from　the　younger　branches。　　This　welcome

he　acknowledged　by　sundry　contortions　of　countenance；　imitative　of

the　clown　in　one　of　the　new　pantomimes；　which　were　so　extremely

successful；　that　one　stout　gentleman　rolled　upon　an　ottoman　in　a

paroxysm　of　delight；　protesting；　with　many　gasps；　that　if　somebody

didn't　make　that　fellow　Griggins　leave　off；　he　would　be　the　death

of　him；　he　knew。　　At　this　the　company　only　laughed　more

boisterously　than　before；　and　as　we　always　like　to　accommodate　our

tone　and　spirit　if　possible　to　the　humour　of　any　society　in　which

we　find　ourself；　we　laughed　with　the　rest；　and　exclaimed；　'Oh！

capital；　capital！'　as　loud　as　any　of　them。



When　he　had　quite　exhausted　all　beholders；　Mr。　Griggins　received

the　welcomes　and　congratulations　of　the　circle；　and　went　through

the　needful　introductions　with　much　ease　and　many　puns。　　This

ceremony　over；　he　avowed　his　intention　of　sitting　in　somebody's　lap

unless　the　young　ladies　made　room　for　him　on　the　sofa；　which　being

done；　after　a　great　deal　of　tittering　and　pleasantry；　he　squeezed

himself　among　them；　and　likened　his　condition　to　that　of　love　among

the　roses。　　At　this　novel　jest　we　all　roared　once　more。　　'You

should　consider　yourself　highly　honoured；　sir；'　said　we。　　'Sir；'

replied　Mr。　Griggins；　'you　do　me　proud。'　　Here　everybody　laughed

again；　and　the　stout　gentleman　by　the　fire　whispered　in　our　ear

that　Griggins　was　making　a　dead　set　at　us。



The　tea…things　having　been　removed；　we　all　sat　down　to　a　round

game；　and　here　Mr。　Griggins　shone　forth　with　peculiar　brilliancy；

abstracting　other　people's　fish；　and　looking　over　their　hands　in

the　most　comical　manner。　　He　made　one　most　excellent　joke　in

snuffing　a　candle；　which　was　neither　more　nor　less　than　setting

fire　to　the　hair　of　a　pale　young　gentleman　who　sat　next　him；　and

afterwards　begging　his　pardon　with　considerable　humour。　　As　the

young　gentleman　could　not　see　the　joke　however；　possibly　in

consequence　of　its　being　on　the　top　of　his　own　head；　it　did　not　go

off　quite　as　well　as　it　might　have　done；　indeed；　the　young

gentleman　was　heard　to　murmur　some　general　references　to

'impertinence；'　and　a　'rascal；'　and　to　state　the　number　of　his

lodgings　in　an　angry　tone　…　a　turn　of　the　conversation　which　might

have　been　productive　of　slaughterous　consequences；　if　a　young　lady；

betrothed　to　the　young　gentleman；　had　not　used　her　immediate

influence　to　bring　about　a　reconciliation：　　emphatically　declaring

in　an　agitated　whisper；　intended　for　his　peculiar　edification　but

audible　to　the　whole　table；　that　if　he　went　on　in　that　way；　she

never　would　think　of　him　otherwise　than　as　a　friend；　though　as　that

she　must　always　regard　him。　　At　this　terrible　threat　the　young

gentleman　became　calm；　and　the　young　lady；　overcome　by　the

revulsion　of　feeling；　instantaneously　fainted。



Mr。　Griggins's　spirits　were　slightly　depressed　for　a　short　period

by　this　unlooked…for　result　of　such　a　harmless　pleasantry；　but

being　promptly　elevated　by　the　attentions　of　the　host　and　several

glasses　of　wine；　he　soon　recovered；　and　became　even　more　vivacious

than　before；　insomuch　that　the　stout　gentleman　previously　referred

to；　assured　us　that　although　he　had　known　him　since　he　was　THAT

high　（something　smaller　than　a　nutmeg…grater）；　he　had　never　beheld

him　in　such　excellent　cue。



When　the　round　game　and　several　games　at　blind　man's　buff　which

followed　it　were　all　over；　and　we　were　going　down　to　supper；　the

inexhaustible　Mr。　Griggins　produced　a　small　sprig　of　mistletoe　from

his　waistcoat　pocket；　and　commenced　a　general　kissing　of　the

assembled　females；　which　occasioned　great　commotion　and　much

excitement。　　We　observed　that　several　young　gentlemen　…　including

the　young　gentleman　with　the　pale　countenance　…　were　greatly

scandalised　at　this　indecorous　proceeding；　and　talked　very　big

among　themselves　in　corners；　and　we　observed　too；　that　several

young　ladies　when　remonstrated　with　by　the　aforesaid　young

gentlemen；　called　each　other　to　witness　how　they　had　struggled；　and

protested　vehemently　that　it　was　very　rude；　and　that　they　were

surprised　at　Mrs。　Brown's　allowing　it；　and　that　they　couldn't　bear

it；　and　had　no　patience　with　such　impertinence。　　But　such　is　the

gentle　and　forgiving　nature　of　woman；　that　although　we　looked　very

narrowly　for　it；　we　could　not　detect　the　slightest　harshness　in　the

subsequent　treatment　of　Mr。　Griggins。　　Indeed；　upon　the　whole；　it

struck　us　that　among　the　ladies　he　seemed　rather　more　popular　than

before！



To　recount　all　the　drollery　of　Mr。　Griggins　at　supper；　would　fill

such　a　tiny　volume　as　this；　to　the　very　bottom　of　the　outside

cover。　　How　he　drank　out　of　other　people's　glasses；　and　ate　of

other　people's　bread；　how　he　frightened　into　screaming　convulsions

a　little　boy　who　was　sitting　up　to　supper　in　a　high　chair；　by

sinking　below　the　table　and　suddenly　reappearing　with　a　mask　on；

how　the　hostess　was　really　surprised　that　anybody　could　find　a

pleasure　in　tormenting　children；　and　how　the　host　frowned　at　the

hostess；　and　felt　convinced　that　Mr。　Griggins　had　done　it　with　the

very　best　intentions；　how　Mr。　Griggins　explained；　and　how

everybody's　good…humour　was　restored　but　the　child's；　…　to　tell

these　and　a　hundred　other　things　ever　so　briefly；　would　occupy　more

of　our　room　and　our　readers'　patience；　than　either　they　or　we　can

conveniently　spare。　　Therefore　we　change　the　subject；　merely

observing　that　we　have　offered　no　description　of　the　funny　young

gentleman's　personal　appearance；　believing　that　almost　every

society　has　a　Griggins　of　its　own；　and　leaving　all　readers　to

supply　the　deficiency；　according　to　the　particular　circumstances　of

their　particular　case。







THE　THEATRICAL　YOUNG　GENTLEMAN







All　gentlemen　who　love　the　drama　…　and　there　are　few　gentlemen　who

are　not　attached　to　the　most　intellectual　and　rational　of　all　our

amusements　…　do　not　come　within　this　definition。　　As　we　have　no

mean　relish　for　theatrical　entertainments　ourself；　we　are

disinterestedly　anxious　that　this　should　be　perfectly　understood。



The　theatrical　young　gentleman　has　early　and　important　information

on　all　theatrical　topics。　　'Well；'　says　he；　abruptly；　when　you　meet

him　in　the　street；　'here's　a　pretty　to…do。　　Flimkins　has　thrown　up

his　part　in　the　melodrama　at　the　Surrey。'　…　'And　what's　to　be

done？'　you　inquire　with　as　much　gravity　as　you　can　counterfeit。

'Ah；　that's　the　point；'　replies　the　theatrical　young　gentleman；

looking　very　serious；　'Boozle　declines　it；　positively　declines　it。

From　all　I　am　told；　I　should　say　it　was　decidedly　in　Boozle's　line；

and　that　he　would　be　very　likely　to　make　a　great　hit　in　it；　but　he

objects　on　the　ground　of　Flimkins　having　been　put　up　in　the　part

first；　and　says　no　earthly　power　shall　induce　him　to　take　the

character。　　It's　a　fine　pa