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the patagonia-第12部分

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we're ashore;〃 I said。



The next day I waited on her at the usual hour of my morning visit;

and found her not a little distraught。  〃The scenes have begun;〃 she

said; 〃you know I told you I shouldn't get through without them!  You

made me nervous last nightI haven't the least idea what you meant;

but you made me horribly nervous。  She came in to see me an hour ago;

and I had the courage to say to her:  'I don't know why I shouldn't

tell you frankly that I've been scolding my son about you。'  Of

course she asked what I meant by that; and I let her know。  'It seems

to me he drags you about the ship too much for a girl in your

position。  He has the air of not remembering that you belong to some

one else。  There's a want of taste and even a want of respect in it。'

That brought on an outbreak:  she became very violent。〃



〃Do you mean indignant?〃



〃Yes; indignant; and above all flustered and excitedat my presuming

to suppose her relations with my son not the very simplest in the

world。  I might scold him as much as I likedthat was between

ourselves; but she didn't see why I should mention such matters to

herself。  Did I think she allowed him to treat her with disrespect?

That idea wasn't much of a compliment to either of them!  He had

treated her better and been kinder to her than most other people

there were very few on the ship who hadn't been insulting。  She

should be glad enough when she got off it; to her own people; to some

one whom nobody would have a right to speak of。  What was there in

her position that wasn't perfectly natural? what was the idea of

making a fuss about her position?  Did I mean that she took it too

easilythat she didn't think as much as she ought about Mr。

Porterfield?  Didn't I believe she was attached to himdidn't I

believe she was just counting the hours till she saw him?  That would

be the happiest moment of her life。  It showed how little I knew her

if I thought anything else。〃



〃All that must have been rather fineI should have liked to hear

it;〃 I said after quite hanging on my friend's lips。  〃And what did

you reply?〃



〃Oh I grovelled; I assured her that I accused heras regards my son…

…of nothing worse than an excess of good nature。  She helped him to

pass his timehe ought to be immensely obliged。  Also that it would

be a very happy moment for me too when I should hand her over to Mr。

Porterfield。〃



〃And will you come up today?〃



〃No indeedI think she'll do beautifully now。〃



I heaved this time a sigh of relief。  〃All's well that ends well!〃



Jasper spent that day a great deal of time with his mother。  She had

told me how much she had lacked hitherto proper opportunity to talk

over with him their movements after disembarking。  Everything changes

a little the last two or three days of a voyage; the spell is broken

and new combinations take place。  Grace Mavis was neither on deck nor

at dinner; and I drew Mrs。 Peck's attention to the extreme propriety

with which she now conducted herself。  She had spent the day in

meditation and judged it best to continue to meditate。



〃Ah she's afraid;〃 said my implacable neighbour。



〃Afraid of what?〃



〃Well; that we'll tell tales when we get there。〃



〃Whom do you mean by 'we'?〃



〃Well; there are plentyon a ship like this。〃



〃Then I think;〃 I returned; 〃we won't。〃



〃Maybe we won't have the chance;〃 said the dreadful little woman。



〃Oh at that moment〃I spoke from a full experience〃universal

geniality reigns。〃



Mrs。 Peck however knew little of any such law。  〃I guess she's afraid

all the same。〃



〃So much the better!〃



〃Yesso much the better!〃



All the next day too the girl remained invisible; and Mrs。

Nettlepoint told me she hadn't looked in。  She herself had

accordingly inquired by the stewardess if she might be received in

Miss Mavis's own quarters; and the young lady had replied that they

were littered up with things and unfit for visitors:  she was packing

a trunk over。  Jasper made up for his devotion to his mother the day

before by now spending a great deal of his time in the smoking…room。

I wanted to say to him 〃This is much better;〃 but I thought it wiser

to hold my tongue。  Indeed I had begun to feel the emotion of

prospective arrivalthe sense of the return to Europe always kept

its intensityand had thereby the less attention for other matters。

It will doubtless appear to the critical reader that my expenditure

of interest had been out of proportion to the vulgar appearances of

which my story gives an account; but to this I can only reply that

the event was to justify me。  We sighted land; the dim yet rich coast

of Ireland; about sunset; and I leaned on the bulwark and took it in。

〃It doesn't look like much; does it?〃 I heard a voice say; beside me;

whereupon; turning; I found Grace Mavis at hand。  Almost for the

first time she had her veil up; and I thought her very pale。



〃It will be more tomorrow;〃 I said。



〃Oh yes; a great deal more。〃



〃The first sight of land; at sea; changes everything;〃 I went on。

〃It always affects me as waking up from a dream。  It's a return to

reality。〃



For a moment she made me no response; then she said 〃It doesn't look

very real yet。〃



〃No; and meanwhile; this lovely evening; one can put it that the

dream's still present。〃



She looked up at the sky; which had a brightness; though the light of

the sun had left it and that of the stars hadn't begun。  〃It IS a

lovely evening。〃



〃Oh yes; with this we shall do。〃



She stood some moments more; while the growing dusk effaced the line

of the land more rapidly than our progress made it distinct。  She

said nothing more; she only looked in front of her; but her very

quietness prompted me to something suggestive of sympathy and

service。  It was difficult indeed to strike the right notesome

things seemed too wide of the mark and others too importunate。  At

last; unexpectedly; she appeared to give me my chance。  Irrelevantly;

abruptly she broke out:  〃Didn't you tell me you knew Mr。

Porterfield?〃



〃Dear me; yesI used to see him。  I've often wanted to speak to you

of him。〃



She turned her face on me and in the deepened evening I imagined her

more pale。  〃What good would that do?〃



〃Why it would be a pleasure;〃 I replied rather foolishly。



〃Do you mean for you?〃



〃Well; yescall it that;〃 I smiled。



〃Did you know him so well?〃



My smile became a laugh and I lost a little my confidence。  〃You're

not easy to make speeches to。〃



〃I hate speeches!〃  The words came from her lips with a force that

surprised me; they were loud and hard。  But before I had time to

wonder she went on a little differently。  〃Shall you know him when

you see him?〃



〃Perfectly; I think。〃  Her manner was so strange that I had to notice

it in some way; and I judged the best way was jocularly; so I added:

〃Shan't you?〃



〃Oh perhaps you'll point him out!〃  And she walked quickly away。  As

I looked after her there came to me a perverse; rather a provoking

consciousness of having during the previous days; and especially in

speaking to Jasper Nettlepoint; interfered with her situation in some

degree to her loss。  There was an odd pang for me in seeing her move

about alone; I felt somehow responsible for it and asked myself why I

couldn't have kept my hands off。  I had seen Jasper in the smoking…

room more than once that day; as I passed it; and half an hour before

this had observed; through the open door; that he was there。  He had

been with her so much that without him she now struck one as bereaved

and forsaken。  This was really better; no doubt; but superficially it

movedand I admit with the last inconsequenceone's pity。  Mrs。

Peck would doubtless have assured me that their separation was

gammon:  they didn't show together on deck and in the saloon; but

they made it up elsewhere。  The secret places on shipboard are not

numerous; Mrs。 Peck's 〃elsewhere〃 would have been vague; and I know

not what licence her imagination took。  It was distinct that Jasper

had fallen off; but of course what had passed between them on this

score wasn't so and could never be。  Later on; through his mother; I

had HIS version of that; but I may remark that I gave it no credit。

Poor Mrs。 Nettlepoint; on the other hand; was of course to give it

all。  I was almost capable; after the girl had left me; of going to

my young man and saying:  〃After all; do return to her a little; just

till we get in!  It won't make any difference after we land。〃  And I

don't think it was the fear he would tell me I was an idiot that

prevented me。  At any rate the next time I passed the door of the

smoking…room I saw he had left it。  I paid my usual visit to Mrs。

Nettlepoint that night; but I troubled her no further about Miss

Mavis。  She had made up her mind that everything was smooth and

settled now; and it seemed to me I had worried her; and that she had

worried herself; in sufficiency。  I left her to enjoy the deepening

foretaste of arrival; which had taken possession of her mind。  Before

turning in I went above and found more passengers on deck than I had

ever seen so late。  Jasper moved about among them alone; but I

forbore to join him。  The coast of Ireland had disappeared; but the

night and the sea were perfect。  On the way to my cabin; when I came

down; I met the stewardess in one of the passages; and the idea

entered my head to say to her:  〃Do you happen to know where Miss

Mavis is?〃



〃Why she's in her room; sir; at this hour。〃



〃Do you suppose I could speak to her?〃  It had come into my mind to

ask her why she had wanted to know of me if I should recognise Mr。

Porterfield。



〃No sir;〃 said the stewardess; 〃she has gone to bed。〃



〃That's all right。〃  And I followed the young lady's excellent

example。



The next morning; while I dressed; the steward of my side of th
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