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the patagonia-第12部分
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we're ashore;〃 I said。
The next day I waited on her at the usual hour of my morning visit;
and found her not a little distraught。 〃The scenes have begun;〃 she
said; 〃you know I told you I shouldn't get through without them! You
made me nervous last nightI haven't the least idea what you meant;
but you made me horribly nervous。 She came in to see me an hour ago;
and I had the courage to say to her: 'I don't know why I shouldn't
tell you frankly that I've been scolding my son about you。' Of
course she asked what I meant by that; and I let her know。 'It seems
to me he drags you about the ship too much for a girl in your
position。 He has the air of not remembering that you belong to some
one else。 There's a want of taste and even a want of respect in it。'
That brought on an outbreak: she became very violent。〃
〃Do you mean indignant?〃
〃Yes; indignant; and above all flustered and excitedat my presuming
to suppose her relations with my son not the very simplest in the
world。 I might scold him as much as I likedthat was between
ourselves; but she didn't see why I should mention such matters to
herself。 Did I think she allowed him to treat her with disrespect?
That idea wasn't much of a compliment to either of them! He had
treated her better and been kinder to her than most other people
there were very few on the ship who hadn't been insulting。 She
should be glad enough when she got off it; to her own people; to some
one whom nobody would have a right to speak of。 What was there in
her position that wasn't perfectly natural? what was the idea of
making a fuss about her position? Did I mean that she took it too
easilythat she didn't think as much as she ought about Mr。
Porterfield? Didn't I believe she was attached to himdidn't I
believe she was just counting the hours till she saw him? That would
be the happiest moment of her life。 It showed how little I knew her
if I thought anything else。〃
〃All that must have been rather fineI should have liked to hear
it;〃 I said after quite hanging on my friend's lips。 〃And what did
you reply?〃
〃Oh I grovelled; I assured her that I accused heras regards my son…
…of nothing worse than an excess of good nature。 She helped him to
pass his timehe ought to be immensely obliged。 Also that it would
be a very happy moment for me too when I should hand her over to Mr。
Porterfield。〃
〃And will you come up today?〃
〃No indeedI think she'll do beautifully now。〃
I heaved this time a sigh of relief。 〃All's well that ends well!〃
Jasper spent that day a great deal of time with his mother。 She had
told me how much she had lacked hitherto proper opportunity to talk
over with him their movements after disembarking。 Everything changes
a little the last two or three days of a voyage; the spell is broken
and new combinations take place。 Grace Mavis was neither on deck nor
at dinner; and I drew Mrs。 Peck's attention to the extreme propriety
with which she now conducted herself。 She had spent the day in
meditation and judged it best to continue to meditate。
〃Ah she's afraid;〃 said my implacable neighbour。
〃Afraid of what?〃
〃Well; that we'll tell tales when we get there。〃
〃Whom do you mean by 'we'?〃
〃Well; there are plentyon a ship like this。〃
〃Then I think;〃 I returned; 〃we won't。〃
〃Maybe we won't have the chance;〃 said the dreadful little woman。
〃Oh at that moment〃I spoke from a full experience〃universal
geniality reigns。〃
Mrs。 Peck however knew little of any such law。 〃I guess she's afraid
all the same。〃
〃So much the better!〃
〃Yesso much the better!〃
All the next day too the girl remained invisible; and Mrs。
Nettlepoint told me she hadn't looked in。 She herself had
accordingly inquired by the stewardess if she might be received in
Miss Mavis's own quarters; and the young lady had replied that they
were littered up with things and unfit for visitors: she was packing
a trunk over。 Jasper made up for his devotion to his mother the day
before by now spending a great deal of his time in the smoking…room。
I wanted to say to him 〃This is much better;〃 but I thought it wiser
to hold my tongue。 Indeed I had begun to feel the emotion of
prospective arrivalthe sense of the return to Europe always kept
its intensityand had thereby the less attention for other matters。
It will doubtless appear to the critical reader that my expenditure
of interest had been out of proportion to the vulgar appearances of
which my story gives an account; but to this I can only reply that
the event was to justify me。 We sighted land; the dim yet rich coast
of Ireland; about sunset; and I leaned on the bulwark and took it in。
〃It doesn't look like much; does it?〃 I heard a voice say; beside me;
whereupon; turning; I found Grace Mavis at hand。 Almost for the
first time she had her veil up; and I thought her very pale。
〃It will be more tomorrow;〃 I said。
〃Oh yes; a great deal more。〃
〃The first sight of land; at sea; changes everything;〃 I went on。
〃It always affects me as waking up from a dream。 It's a return to
reality。〃
For a moment she made me no response; then she said 〃It doesn't look
very real yet。〃
〃No; and meanwhile; this lovely evening; one can put it that the
dream's still present。〃
She looked up at the sky; which had a brightness; though the light of
the sun had left it and that of the stars hadn't begun。 〃It IS a
lovely evening。〃
〃Oh yes; with this we shall do。〃
She stood some moments more; while the growing dusk effaced the line
of the land more rapidly than our progress made it distinct。 She
said nothing more; she only looked in front of her; but her very
quietness prompted me to something suggestive of sympathy and
service。 It was difficult indeed to strike the right notesome
things seemed too wide of the mark and others too importunate。 At
last; unexpectedly; she appeared to give me my chance。 Irrelevantly;
abruptly she broke out: 〃Didn't you tell me you knew Mr。
Porterfield?〃
〃Dear me; yesI used to see him。 I've often wanted to speak to you
of him。〃
She turned her face on me and in the deepened evening I imagined her
more pale。 〃What good would that do?〃
〃Why it would be a pleasure;〃 I replied rather foolishly。
〃Do you mean for you?〃
〃Well; yescall it that;〃 I smiled。
〃Did you know him so well?〃
My smile became a laugh and I lost a little my confidence。 〃You're
not easy to make speeches to。〃
〃I hate speeches!〃 The words came from her lips with a force that
surprised me; they were loud and hard。 But before I had time to
wonder she went on a little differently。 〃Shall you know him when
you see him?〃
〃Perfectly; I think。〃 Her manner was so strange that I had to notice
it in some way; and I judged the best way was jocularly; so I added:
〃Shan't you?〃
〃Oh perhaps you'll point him out!〃 And she walked quickly away。 As
I looked after her there came to me a perverse; rather a provoking
consciousness of having during the previous days; and especially in
speaking to Jasper Nettlepoint; interfered with her situation in some
degree to her loss。 There was an odd pang for me in seeing her move
about alone; I felt somehow responsible for it and asked myself why I
couldn't have kept my hands off。 I had seen Jasper in the smoking…
room more than once that day; as I passed it; and half an hour before
this had observed; through the open door; that he was there。 He had
been with her so much that without him she now struck one as bereaved
and forsaken。 This was really better; no doubt; but superficially it
movedand I admit with the last inconsequenceone's pity。 Mrs。
Peck would doubtless have assured me that their separation was
gammon: they didn't show together on deck and in the saloon; but
they made it up elsewhere。 The secret places on shipboard are not
numerous; Mrs。 Peck's 〃elsewhere〃 would have been vague; and I know
not what licence her imagination took。 It was distinct that Jasper
had fallen off; but of course what had passed between them on this
score wasn't so and could never be。 Later on; through his mother; I
had HIS version of that; but I may remark that I gave it no credit。
Poor Mrs。 Nettlepoint; on the other hand; was of course to give it
all。 I was almost capable; after the girl had left me; of going to
my young man and saying: 〃After all; do return to her a little; just
till we get in! It won't make any difference after we land。〃 And I
don't think it was the fear he would tell me I was an idiot that
prevented me。 At any rate the next time I passed the door of the
smoking…room I saw he had left it。 I paid my usual visit to Mrs。
Nettlepoint that night; but I troubled her no further about Miss
Mavis。 She had made up her mind that everything was smooth and
settled now; and it seemed to me I had worried her; and that she had
worried herself; in sufficiency。 I left her to enjoy the deepening
foretaste of arrival; which had taken possession of her mind。 Before
turning in I went above and found more passengers on deck than I had
ever seen so late。 Jasper moved about among them alone; but I
forbore to join him。 The coast of Ireland had disappeared; but the
night and the sea were perfect。 On the way to my cabin; when I came
down; I met the stewardess in one of the passages; and the idea
entered my head to say to her: 〃Do you happen to know where Miss
Mavis is?〃
〃Why she's in her room; sir; at this hour。〃
〃Do you suppose I could speak to her?〃 It had come into my mind to
ask her why she had wanted to know of me if I should recognise Mr。
Porterfield。
〃No sir;〃 said the stewardess; 〃she has gone to bed。〃
〃That's all right。〃 And I followed the young lady's excellent
example。
The next morning; while I dressed; the steward of my side of th
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