the turn of the screw-第5部分

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Someone　would　appear　there　at　the　turn　of　a　path　and　would　stand

before　me　and　smile　and　approve。　　I　didn't　ask　more　than　that

I　only　asked　that　he　should　KNOW；　and　the　only　way　to　be　sure　he　knew

would　be　to　see　it；　and　the　kind　light　of　it；　in　his　handsome　face。

That　was　exactly　present　to　meby　which　I　mean　the　face　was

when；　on　the　first　of　these　occasions；　at　the　end　of　a　long

June　day；　I　stopped　short　on　emerging　from　one　of　the　plantations

and　coming　into　view　of　the　house。　　What　arrested　me　on　the　spot

and　with　a　shock　much　greater　than　any　vision　had　allowed　for

was　the　sense　that　my　imagination　had；　in　a　flash；　turned　real。

He　did　stand　there！but　high　up；　beyond　the　lawn　and　at　the　very　top　of

the　tower　to　which；　on　that　first　morning；　little　Flora　had　conducted　me。

This　tower　was　one　of　a　pairsquare；　incongruous；　crenelated　structures

that　were　distinguished；　for　some　reason；　though　I　could　see

little　difference；　as　the　new　and　the　old。　　They　flanked　opposite

ends　of　the　house　and　were　probably　architectural　absurdities；

redeemed　in　a　measure　indeed　by　not　being　wholly　disengaged　nor

of　a　height　too　pretentious；　dating；　in　their　gingerbread　antiquity；

from　a　romantic　revival　that　was　already　a　respectable　past。

I　admired　them；　had　fancies　about　them；　for　we　could　all　profit

in　a　degree；　especially　when　they　loomed　through　the　dusk；

by　the　grandeur　of　their　actual　battlements；　yet　it　was　not　at

such　an　elevation　that　the　figure　I　had　so　often　invoked　seemed

most　in　place。



It　produced　in　me；　this　figure；　in　the　clear　twilight；　I　remember；

two　distinct　gasps　of　emotion；　which　were；　sharply；　the　shock

of　my　first　and　that　of　my　second　surprise。　　My　second　was　a

violent　perception　of　the　mistake　of　my　first：　　the　man　who　met

my　eyes　was　not　the　person　I　had　precipitately　supposed。

There　came　to　me　thus　a　bewilderment　of　vision　of　which；

after　these　years；　there　is　no　living　view　that　I　can　hope　to　give。

An　unknown　man　in　a　lonely　place　is　a　permitted　object　of　fear

to　a　young　woman　privately　bred；　and　the　figure　that　faced

me　wasa　few　more　seconds　assured　meas　little　anyone

else　I　knew　as　it　was　the　image　that　had　been　in　my　mind。

I　had　not　seen　it　in　Harley　StreetI　had　not　seen　it　anywhere。

The　place；　moreover；　in　the　strangest　way　in　the　world；　had；

on　the　instant；　and　by　the　very　fact　of　its　appearance；

become　a　solitude。　　To　me　at　least；　making　my　statement

here　with　a　deliberation　with　which　I　have　never　made　it；

the　whole　feeling　of　the　moment　returns。　　It　was　as　if；

while　I　took　inwhat　I　did　take　inall　the　rest　of　the　scene

had　been　stricken　with　death。　　I　can　hear　again；　as　I　write；

the　intense　hush　in　which　the　sounds　of　evening　dropped。

The　rooks　stopped　cawing　in　the　golden　sky；　and　the　friendly

hour　lost；　for　the　minute；　all　its　voice。　　But　there　was　no

other　change　in　nature；　unless　indeed　it　were　a　change　that　I

saw　with　a　stranger　sharpness。　　The　gold　was　still　in　the　sky；

the　clearness　in　the　air；　and　the　man　who　looked　at　me　over

the　battlements　was　as　definite　as　a　picture　in　a　frame。

That's　how　I　thought；　with　extraordinary　quickness；

of　each　person　that　he　might　have　been　and　that　he　was　not。

We　were　confronted　across　our　distance　quite　long　enough　for　me

to　ask　myself　with　intensity　who　then　he　was　and　to　feel；

as　an　effect　of　my　inability　to　say；　a　wonder　that　in　a　few

instants　more　became　intense。



The　great　question；　or　one　of　these；　is；　afterward；　I　know；

with　regard　to　certain　matters；　the　question　of　how　long

they　have　lasted。　　Well；　this　matter　of　mine；　think　what　you

will　of　it；　lasted　while　I　caught　at　a　dozen　possibilities；

none　of　which　made　a　difference　for　the　better；　that　I　could　see；

in　there　having　been　in　the　houseand　for　how　long；　above　all？

a　person　of　whom　I　was　in　ignorance。　　It　lasted　while　I

just　bridled　a　little　with　the　sense　that　my　office　demanded

that　there　should　be　no　such　ignorance　and　no　such　person。

It　lasted　while　this　visitant；　at　all　eventsand　there　was　a　touch

of　the　strange　freedom；　as　I　remember；　in　the　sign　of　familiarity

of　his　wearing　no　hatseemed　to　fix　me；　from　his　position；

with　just　the　question；　just　the　scrutiny　through　the　fading　light；

that　his　own　presence　provoked。　　We　were　too　far　apart

to　call　to　each　other；　but　there　was　a　moment　at　which；

at　shorter　range；　some　challenge　between　us；　breaking　the　hush；

would　have　been　the　right　result　of　our　straight　mutual　stare。

He　was　in　one　of　the　angles；　the　one　away　from　the　house；

very　erect；　as　it　struck　me；　and　with　both　hands　on　the　ledge。

So　I　saw　him　as　I　see　the　letters　I　form　on　this　page；

then；　exactly；　after　a　minute；　as　if　to　add　to　the　spectacle；

he　slowly　changed　his　placepassed；　looking　at　me　hard　all

the　while；　to　the　opposite　corner　of　the　platform。　　Yes；　I　had

the　sharpest　sense　that　during　this　transit　he　never　took　his

eyes　from　me；　and　I　can　see　at　this　moment　the　way　his　hand；

as　he　went；　passed　from　one　of　the　crenelations　to　the　next。

He　stopped　at　the　other　corner；　but　less　long；　and　even

as　he　turned　away　still　markedly　fixed　me。　　He　turned　away；

that　was　all　I　knew。







　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　IV





It　was　not　that　I　didn't　wait；　on　this　occasion；

for　more；　for　I　was　rooted　as　deeply　as　I　was　shaken。

Was　there　a　〃secret〃　at　Blya　mystery　of　Udolpho　or　an　insane；

an　unmentionable　relative　kept　in　unsuspected　confinement？

I　can't　say　how　long　I　turned　it　over；　or　how　long；　in　a　confusion

of　curiosity　and　dread；　I　remained　where　I　had　had　my　collision；

I　only　recall　that　when　I　re…entered　the　house　darkness　had　quite

closed　in。　　Agitation；　in　the　interval；　certainly　had　held　me

and　driven　me；　for　I　must；　in　circling　about　the　place；　have　walked

three　miles；　but　I　was　to　be；　later　on；　so　much　more　overwhelmed

that　this　mere　dawn　of　alarm　was　a　comparatively　human　chill。

The　most　singular　part　of　it；　in　factsingular　as　the　rest　had　been

was　the　part　I　became；　in　the　hall；　aware　of　in　meeting　Mrs。　Grose。

This　picture　comes　back　to　me　in　the　general　trainthe　impression；

as　I　received　it　on　my　return；　of　the　wide　white　panelled　space；

bright　in　the　lamplight　and　with　its　portraits　and　red　carpet；

and　of　the　good　surprised　look　of　my　friend；　which　immediately

told　me　she　had　missed　me。　　It　came　to　me　straightway；

under　her　contact；　that；　with　plain　heartiness；　mere　relieved

anxiety　at　my　appearance；　she　knew　nothing　whatever　that

could　bear　upon　the　incident　I　had　there　ready　for　her。

I　had　not　suspected　in　advance　that　her　comfortable　face　would

pull　me　up；　and　I　somehow　measured　the　importance　of　what　I

had　seen　by　my　thus　finding　myself　hesitate　to　mention　it。

Scarce　anything　in　the　whole　history　seems　to　me　so　odd

as　this　fact　that　my　real　beginning　of　fear　was　one；

as　I　may　say；　with　the　instinct　of　sparing　my　companion。

On　the　spot；　accordingly；　in　the　pleasant　hall　and　with　her

eyes　on　me；　I；　for　a　reason　that　I　couldn't　then　have　phrased；

achieved　an　inward　resolutionoffered　a　vague　pretext

for　my　lateness　and；　with　the　plea　of　the　beauty　of　the　night

and　of　the　heavy　dew　and　wet　feet；　went　as　soon　as　possible

to　my　room。



Here　it　was　another　affair；　here；　for　many　days　after；

it　was　a　queer　affair　enough。　　There　were　hours；　from　day

to　dayor　at　least　there　were　moments；　snatched　even　from

clear　dutieswhen　I　had　to　shut　myself　up　to　think。

It　was　not　so　much　yet　that　I　was　more　nervous　than　I　could

bear　to　be　as　that　I　was　remarkably　afraid　of　becoming　so；

for　the　truth　I　had　now　to　turn　over　was；　simply　and　clearly；

the　truth　that　I　could　arrive　at　no　account　whatever　of

the　visitor　with　whom　I　had　been　so　inexplicably　and　yet；

as　it　seemed　to　me；　so　intimately　concerned。　　It　took　little

time　to　see　that　I　could　sound　without　forms　of　inquiry

and　without　exciting　remark　any　domestic　complications。

The　shock　I　had　suffered　must　have　sharpened　all　my　senses；

I　felt　sure；　at　the　end　of　three　days　and　as　the　result

of　mere　closer　attention；　that　I　had　not　been　practiced

upon　by　the　servants　nor　made　the　object　of　any　〃game。〃

Of　whatever　it　was　that　I　knew；　nothing　was　known　around　me。

There　was　but　one　sane　inference：　　someone　had　taken

a　liberty　rather　gross。　　That　was　what；　repeatedly；　I　dipped

into　my　room　and　locked　the　door　to　say　to　myself。

We　had　been；　collectively；　subject　to　an　intrusion；

some　unscrupulous　traveler；　curious　in　old　houses；　had　made

his　way　in　unobserved；　enjoyed　the　prospect　from　the　best　point

of　view；　and　then　stolen　out　as　he　came。　　If　he　had　given　me

such　a　bold　hard　stare；　that　was　but　a　part　of　his　indiscretion。

The　good　thing；　after　all；　was　that　we　should　surely　see

no　more　of　him。



This　was　not　so　good　a　thing；　I　admit；　as　not　to　leave　me　to　judge　that　what；

essentially；　made　nothing　else　much　signify　was　simply　my　charming　work。

My　charming　work　was　just　my　life　with　Miles　and　Flora；　and　through　nothing

could　I　so　like　it　as　through　feeling　that　I　could　throw　myself　into　it

in　trouble。　　The　attraction　of　my　small　charges　was　a　constant　joy；

leading　me　to　wonder　afresh　at　the　vanity　of　my　original　fears；　the　distaste

I　had　begun　by　entertaining　for　the　probable　gray　prose　of　my　office。

There　was　to　be　no　gray　prose；　it　appeared；　and　no　long　grind；

so　how　could　work　not　be　charming　that　presented　itself　as　daily　beauty？

It　was　all　the　romance　of　the　nursery　and　the　poetry　of　the　schoolroom。

I　don't　mean　by　this；　of　course；　that　we　studied　only　fiction

and　verse；　I　mean　I　can　express　no　otherwise　the　sort　of　interest

my　companions　inspired。　　How　can　I　describe　that　except　by　saying　that

instead　of　growing　used　to　themand　it's　a　marvel　for　a　governess：

I　call　the　sisterhood　to　witness！I　made　constant　fresh　discoveries。

There　was　one　direction；　assuredly；　in　which　these　discoveries　stopped：

deep　obscurity　continued　to　cover　the　region　of　the　boy's　conduct　at　school。