the sorrows of young werther-第15部分

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g　more　sincerely　than　that　they　should　marry；　and　pass　their　lives　together。　　When　he　had　come　to　this　point；　he　began　to　hesitate；　as　if　there　was　something　which　he　had　not　courage　to　utter；　till　at　length　he　acknowledged　with　some　confusion　certain　little　confidences　she　had　encouraged；　and　liberties　she　had　allowed。　He　broke　off　two　or　three　times　in　his　narration；　and　assured　me　most　earnestly　that　he　had　no　wish　to　make　her　bad；　as　he　termed　it；　for　he　loved　her　still　as　sincerely　as　ever；　that　the　tale　had　never　before　escaped　his　lips；　and　was　only　now　told　to　convince　me　that　he　was　not　utterly　lost　and　abandoned。　　And　here；　my　dear　friend；　I　must　commence　the　old　song　which　you　know　I　utter　eternally。　If　I　could　only　represent　the　man　as　he　stood；　and　stands　now　before　me；　could　I　only　give　his　true　expressions；　you　would　feel　compelled　to　sympathise　in　his　fate。　　But　enough：　you；　who　know　my　misfortune　and　my　disposition；　can　easily　comprehend　the　attraction　which　draws　me　toward　every　unfortunate　being；　but　particularly　toward　him　whose　story　I　have　recounted。

On　perusing　this　letter　a　second　time；　I　find　I　have　omitted　the　conclusion　of　my　tale；　but　it　is　easily　supplied。　　She　became　reserved　toward　him；　at　the　instigation　of　her　brother　who　had　long　hated　him；　and　desired　his　expulsion　from　the　house；　fearing　that　his　sister's　second　marriage　might　deprive　his　children　of　the　handsome　fortune　they　expected　from　her；　as　she　is　childless。　He　was　dismissed　at　length；　and　the　whole　affair　occasioned　so　much　scandal；　that　the　mistress　dared　not　take　him　back；　even　if　she　had　wished　it。　　She　has　since　hired　another　servant；　with　whom；　they　say；　her　brother　is　equally　displeased；　and　whom　she　is　likely　to　marry；　but　my　informant　assures　me　that　he　himself　is　determined　not　to　survive　such　a　catastrophe。

This　story　is　neither　exaggerated　nor　embellished：　indeed；　I　have　weakened　and　impaired　it　in　the　narration；　by　the　necessity　of　using　the　more　refined　expressions　of　society。

This　love；　then；　this　constancy；　this　passion；　is　no　poetical　fiction。　　It　is　actual；　and　dwells　in　its　greatest　purity　amongst　that　class　of　mankind　whom　we　term　rude；　uneducated。　　We　are　the　educated；　not　the　perverted。　　But　read　this　story　with　attention；　I　implore　you。　　I　am　tranquil　to…day；　for　I　have　been　employed　upon　this　narration：　you　see　by　my　writing　that　I　am　not　so　agitated　as　usual。　　I　read　and　re…read　this　tale；　Wilhelm：　it　is　the　history　of　your　friend！　　My　fortune　has　been　and　will　be　similar；　and　I　am　neither　half　so　brave　nor　half　so　determined　as　the　poor　wretch　with　whom　I　hesitate　to　compare　myself。

SEPTEMBER　5。

Charlotte　had　written　a　letter　to　her　husband　in　the　country；　where　he　was　detained　by　business。　　It　commenced；　〃My　dearest　love；　return　as　soon　as　possible：　I　await　you　with　a　thousand　raptures。〃　A　friend　who　arrived；　brought　word；　that；　for　certain　reasons；　he　could　not　return　immediately。　　Charlotte's　letter　was　not　forwarded；　and　the　same　evening　it　fell　into　my　hands。　　I　read　it；　and　smiled。　She　asked　the　reason。　〃What　a　heavenly　treasure　is　imagination：〃　I　exclaimed；　〃I　fancied　for　a　moment　that　this　was　written　to　me。〃　She　paused；　and　seemed　displeased。　　I　was　silent。

SEPTEMBER　6。

It　cost　me　much　to　part　with　the　blue　coat　which　I　wore　the　first　time　I　danced　with　Charlotte。　　But　I　could　not　possibly　wear　it　any　longer。　　But　I　have　ordered　a　new　one；　precisely　similar；　even　to　the　collar　and　sleeves；　as　well　as　a　new　waistcoat　and　pantaloons。

But　it　does　not　produce　the　same　effect　upon　me。　　I　know　not　how　it　is；　but　I　hope　in　time　I　shall　like　it　better。

SEPTEMBER　12。

She　has　been　absent　for　some　days。　　She　went　to　meet　Albert。　To…day　I　visited　her：　she　rose　to　receive　me；　and　I　kissed　her　hand　most　tenderly。

A　canary　at　the　moment　flew　from　a　mirror；　and　settled　upon　her　shoulder。　　〃Here　is　a　new　friend；〃　she　observed；　while　she　made　him　perch　upon　her　hand：　〃he　is　a　present　for　the　children。　　What　a　dear　he　is！　　Look　at　him！　　When　I　feed　him；　he　flutters　with　his　wings；　and　pecks　so　nicely。　　He　kisses　me；　too；　only　look！〃

She　held　the　bird　to　her　mouth；　and　he　pressed　her　sweet　lips　with　so　much　fervour　that　he　seemed　to　feel　the　excess　of　bliss　which　he　enjoyed。

〃He　shall　kiss　you　too；〃　she　added；　and　then　she　held　the　bird　toward　me。　　His　little　beak　moved　from　her　mouth　to　mine；　and　the　delightful　sensation　seemed　like　the　forerunner　of　the　sweetest　bliss。

〃A　kiss；〃　I　observed；　〃does　not　seem　to　satisfy　him：　he　wishes　for　food；　and　seems　disappointed　by　these　unsatisfactory　endearments。〃

〃But　he　eats　out　of　my　mouth；〃　she　continued；　and　extended　her　lips　to　him　containing　seed；　and　she　smiled　with　all　the　charm　of　a　being　who　has　allowed　an　innocent　participation　of　her　love。

I　turned　my　face　away。　　She　should　not　act　thus。　She　ought　not　to　excite　my　imagination　with　such　displays　of　heavenly　innocence　and　happiness；　nor　awaken　my　heart　from　its　slumbers；　in　which　it　dreams　of　the　worthlessness　of　life！　　And　why　not？　　Because　she　knows　how　much　I　love　her。

SEPTEMBER　15。

It　makes　me　wretched；　Wilhelm；　to　think　that　there　should　be　men　incapable　of　appreciating　the　few　things　which　possess　a　real　value　in　life。　　You　remember　the　walnut　trees　at　S；　under　which　I　used　to　sit　with　Charlotte；　during　my　visits　to　the　worthy　old　vicar。　Those　glorious　trees；　the　very　sight　of　which　has　so　often　filled　my　heart　with　joy；　how　they　adorned　and　refreshed　the　parsonage　yard；　with　their　wide…extended　branches！　and　how　pleasing　was　our　remembrance　of　the　good　old　pastor；　by　whose　hands　they　were　planted　so　many　years　ago：　The　schoolmaster　has　frequently　mentioned　his　name。　　He　had　it　from　his　grandfather。　　He　must　have　been　a　most　excellent　man；　and；　under　the　shade　of　those　old　trees；　his　memory　was　ever　venerated　by　me。　　The　schoolmaster　informed　us　yesterday；　with　tears　in　his　eyes；　that　those　trees　had　been　felled。　Yes；　cut　to　the　ground！　　I　could；　in　my　wrath；　have　slain　the　monster　who　struck　the　first　stroke。　　And　I　must　endure　this！　　I；　who；　if　I　had　had　two　such　trees　in　my　own　court；　and　one　had　died　from　old　age；　should　have　wept　with　real　affliction。　　But　there　is　some　comfort　left；　such　a　thing　is　sentiment；　the　whole　village　murmurs　at　the　misfortune；　and　I　hope　the　vicar's　wife　will　soon　find；　by　the　cessation　of　the　villagers'　presents；　how　much　she　has　wounded　the　feelings　of　the　neighborhhood。　　It　was　she　who　did　it；　the　wife　of　the　present　incumbent　（our　good　old　man　is　dead）；　a　tall；　sickly　creature　who　is　so　far　right　to　disregard　the　world；　as　the　world　totally　disregards　her。　　The　silly　being　affects　to　be　learned；　pretends　to　examine　the　canonical　books；　lends　her　aid　toward　the　new…fashioned　reformation　of　Christendom；　moral　and　critical；　and　shrugs　up　her　shoulders　at　the　mention　of　Lavater's　enthusiasm。　　Her　health　is　destroyed；　on　account　of　which　she　is　prevented　from　having　any　enjoyment　here　below。　　Only　such　a　creature　could　have　cut　down　my　walnut　trees！　I　can　never　pardon　it。　　Hear　her　reasons。　　The　falling　leaves　made　the　court　wet　and　dirty；　the　branches　obstructed　the　light；　boys　threw　stones　at　the　nuts　when　they　were　ripe；　and　the　noise　affected　her　nerves；　and　disturbed　her　profound　meditations；　when　she　was　weighing　the　diffculties　of　Kennicot；　Semler；　and　Michaelis。　Finding　that　all　the　parish；　particularly　the　old　people；　were　displeased；　I　asked　〃why　they　allowed　it？〃　　〃Ah；　sir！〃　they　replied；　〃when　the　steward　orders；　what　can　we　poor　peasants　do？〃　　But　one　thing　has　happened　well。　　The　steward　and　the　vicar　（who；　for　once；　thought　to　reap　some　advantage　from　the　caprices　of　his　wife）　intended　to　divide　the　trees　between　them。　　The　revenue…office；　being　informed　of　it；　revived　an　old　claim　to　the　ground　where　the　trees　had　stood；　and　sold　them　to　the　best　bidder。　　There　they　still　lie　on　the　ground。　　If　I　were　the　sovereign；　I　should　know　how　to　deal　with　them　all；　vicar；　steward；　and　revenue…office。　Sovereign；　did　I　say？　　I　should；　in　that　case；　care　little　about　the　trees　that　grew　in　the　country。　　　　OCTOBER　10。　

Only　to　gaze　upon　her　dark　eyes　is　to　me　a　source　of　happiness！　And　what　grieves　me；　is；　that　Albert　does　not　seem　so　happy　as　he　　hoped　to　be　　as　I　should　have　been　　if　　I　am　no　friend　to　these　pauses；　but　here　I　cannot　express　it　otherwise；　and　probably　I　am　explicit　enough。

OCTOBER　12。

Ossian　has　superseded　Homer　in　my　heart。　　To　what　a　world　does　the　illustrious　bard　carry　me！　　To　wander　over　pathless　wilds；　surrounded　by　impetuous　whirlwinds；　where；　by　the　feeble　light　of　the　moon；　we　see　the　spirits　of　our　ancestors；　to　hear　from　the　mountain…tops；　mid　the　roar　of　torrents；　their　plaintive　sounds　issuing　from　deep　caverns；　and　the　sorrowful　lamentations　of　a　maiden　who　sighs　and　expires　on　the　mossy　tomb　of　the　warrior　by　whom　she　was　adored。　　I　meet　this　bard　with　silver　hair；　he　wanders　in　the　valley；　he　seeks　the　footsteps　of　his　fathers；　and；　alas！　he　finds　only　their　tombs。　　Then；　contemplating　the　pale　moon；　as　she　sinks　beneath　the　waves　of　the　rolling　sea；　the　memory　of　bygone　days　strikes　the　mind　of　the　hero；　days　when　approaching　danger　invigorated　the　brave；　and　the　moon　shone　upon　his　bark　laden　with　spoils；　and　returning　in　triumph。　　When　I　read　in　his　countenance　deep　sorrow；　when　I　see　his　dying　glory　sink　exhausted　into　the　grave；　as　he　inhales　new　and　heart…thrilling　delight　from　his　approaching　union　with　his　beloved；　and　he　casts　a　look　on　the　cold　earth　and　the　tall　grass　which　is　so　soon　to　cover　him；　and　then　exclaims；　〃The　traveller　will　come；　　he　will　come　who　has　seen　my　beauty；　and　he　will　ask；　'Where　is　the　bard；　where　is　the　illustrious　son　of　Fingal？'　　He　will　walk　over　my　tomb；　and　will　seek　me　in　vain！〃　　Then；　O　my　friend；　I　could　instantly；　like　a　true　and　noble　knight；　draw　my　sword；　and　deliver　my　prince　from　the　long　and　painful　languor　of　a　living　death；　and　dismiss　my　own　soul　to　follow　the　demigod　whom　my　hand　had　set　free！

OCTOBER　19。

Alas！　the　void　the　fearful　void；　which　I　feel　in　my　bosom！　　Sometimes　I　think；　if　I　could　only　once　but　once；　press　her　to　my　heart；　this　dreadful　void　would　be　filled。

OCTOBER　26。

Yes；　I　feel　certain；　Wilhelm；　and　every　day　I　becom