lecture08-第3部分

快捷操作: 按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页 按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页 按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部! 如果本书没有阅读完，想下次继续接着阅读，可使用上方 "收藏到我的浏览器" 功能 和 "加入书签" 功能！


in　my　duties；　and　left　no　stone　unturned　to　pacify　my　conscience；



watching　even　against　my　thoughts；　and　praying　continually



wherever　I　went：　　for　I　did　not　think　there　was　any　sin　in　my



conduct；　when　I　was　among　carnal　company；　because　I　did　not　take



any　satisfaction　there；　but　only　followed　it；　I　thought；　for



sufficient　reasons。







〃But　still；　all　that　I　did　or　could　do；　conscience　would　roar



night　and　day。〃







Saint　Augustine　and　Alline　both　emerged　into　the　smooth　waters　of



inner　unity　and　peace；　and　I　shall　next　ask　you　to　consider　more



closely　some　of　the　peculiarities　of　the　process　of　unification；



when　it　occurs。　　It　may　come　gradually；　or　it　may　occur　abruptly；



it　may　come　through　altered　feelings；　or　through　altered　powers



of　action；　or　it　may　come　through　new　intellectual　insights；　or



through　experiences　which　we　shall　later　have　to　designate　as



'mystical。'　　However　it　come；　it　brings　a　characteristic　sort　of



relief；　and　never　such　extreme　relief　as　when　it　is　cast　into　the



religious　mould。　　Happiness！　happiness！　religion　is　only　one　of



the　ways　in　which　men　gain　that　gift。　　Easily；　permanently；　and



successfully；　it　often　transforms　the　most　intolerable　misery



into　the　profoundest　and　most　enduring　happiness。







But　to　find　religion　is　only　one　out　of　many　ways　of　reaching



unity；　and　the　process　of　remedying　inner　incompleteness　and



reducing　inner　discord　is　a　general　psychological　process；　which



may　take　place　with　any　sort　of　mental　material；　and　need　not



necessarily　assume　the　religious　form。　　In　judging　of　the



religious　types　of　regeneration　which　we　are　about　to　study；　it



is　important　to　recognize　that　they　are　only　one　species　of　a



genus　that　contains　other　types　as　well。　　For　example；　the　new



birth　may　be　away　from　religion　into　incredulity；　or　it　may　be



from　moral　scrupulosity　into　freedom　and　license；　or　it　may　be



produced　by　the　irruption　into　the　individual's　life　of　some　new



stimulus　or　passion；　such　as　love；　ambition；　cupidity；　revenge；



or　patriotic　devotion。　　In　all　these　instances　we　have　precisely



the　same　psychological　form　of　event；a　firmness；　stability；　and



equilibrium　　succeeding　a　period　of　storm　and　stress　and



inconsistency。　　In　these　non…religious　cases　the　new　man　may　also



be　born　either　gradually　or　suddenly。







The　French　philosopher　Jouffroy　has　left　an　eloquent　memorial　of



his　own　〃counter…conversion；〃　as　the　transition　from　orthodoxy　to



infidelity　has　been　well　styled　by　Mr。　Starbuck。　　Jouffroy's



doubts　had　long　harassed　him；　but　he　dates　his　final　crisis　from



a　certain　night　when　his　disbelief　grew　fixed　and　stable；　and



where　the　immediate　result　was　sadness　at　the　illusions　he　had



lost。







〃I　shall　never　forget　that　night　of　December；〃　writes　Jouffroy；



〃in　which　the　veil　that　concealed　from　me　my　own　incredulity　was



torn。　　I　hear　again　my　steps　in　that　narrow　naked　chamber　where



long　after　the　hour　of　sleep　had　come　I　had　the　habit　of　walking



up　and　down。　　I　see　again　that　moon；　half…veiled　by　clouds；



which　now　and　again　illuminated　the　frigid　window…panes。　　The



hours　of　the　night　flowed　on　and　I　did　not　note　their　passage。　



Anxiously　I　followed　my　thoughts；　as　from　layer　to　layer　they



descended　towards　the　foundation　of　my　consciousness；　and；



scattering　one　by　one　all　the　illusions　which　until　then　had



screened　its　windings　from　my　view；　made　them　every　moment　more



clearly　visible。







〃Vainly　I　clung　to　these　last　beliefs　as　a　shipwrecked　sailor



clings　to　the　fragments　of　his　vessel；　vainly；　frightened　at　the



unknown　void　in　which　I　was　about　to　float；　I　turned　with　them



towards　my　childhood；　my　family；　my　country；　all　that　was　dear



and　sacred　to　me：　　the　inflexible　current　of　my　thought　was　too



strongparents；　family；　memory；　beliefs；　it　forced　me　to　let　go



of　everything。　　The　investigation　went　on　more　obstinate　and　more



severe　as　it　drew　near　its　term；　and　did　not　stop　until　the　end



was　reached。　　I　knew　then　that　in　the　depth　of　my　mind　nothing



was　left　that　stood　erect。







〃This　moment　was　a　frightful　one；　and　when　towards　morning　I



threw　myself　exhausted　on　my　bed；　I　seemed　to　feel　my　earlier



life；　so　smiling　and　so　full；　go　out　like　a　fire；　and　before　me



another　life　opened；　sombre　and　unpeopled；　where　in　future　I　must



live　alone；　alone　with　my　fatal　thought　which　had　exiled　me



thither；　and　which　I　was　tempted　to　curse。　　The　days　which



followed　this　discovery　were　the　saddest　of　my　life。〃＇93＇











＇93＇　Th。　Jouffroy：　　Nouveaux　Melanges　philosophiques；　2me



edition；　p。　83。　　I　add　two　other　cases　of　counter…conversion



dating　from　a　certain　moment。　　The　first　is　from　Professor



Starbuck's　manuscript　collection；　and　the　narrator　is　a　woman。







〃Away　down　in　the　bottom　of　my　heart；　I　believe　I　was　always　more



or　less　skeptical　about　'God；'　skepticism　grew　as　an



undercurrent；　all　through　my　early　youth；　but　it　was　controlled



and　covered　by　the　emotional　elements　in　my　religious　growth。　



When　I　was　sixteen　I　joined　the　church　and　was　asked　if　I　loved



God。　　I　replied　'Yes；'　as　was　customary　and　expected。　　But



instantly　with　a　flash　something　spoke　within　me；　'No；　you　do



not。'　　I　was　haunted　for　a　long　time　with　shame　and　remorse　for



my　falsehood　and　for　my　wickedness　in　not　loving　God；　mingled



with　fear　that　there　might　be　an　avenging　God　who　would　punish　me



in　some　terrible　way。　。　。　。　At　nineteen；　I　had　an　attack　of



tonsilitis。　　Before　I　had　quite　recovered；　I　heard　told　a　story



of　a　brute　who　had　kicked　his　wife　down…stairs；　and　then



continued　the　operation　until　she　became　insensible。　　I　felt　the



horror　of　the　thing　keenly。　　Instantly　this　thought　flashed



through　my　mind：　　'I　have　no　use　for　a　God　who　permits　such



things。'　　This　experience　was　followed　by　months　of　stoical



indifference　to　the　God　of　my　previous　life；　mingled　with



feelings　of　positive　dislike　and　a　somewhat　proud　defiance　of



him。　　I　still　thought　there　might　be　a　God。　　If　so　he　would



probably　damn　me；　but　I　should　have　to　stand　it。　　I　felt　very



little　fear　and　no　desire　to　propitiate　him。　　I　have　never　had



any　personal　relations　with　him　since　this　painful　experience。〃







The　second　case　exemplifies　how　small　an　additional　stimulus　will



overthrow　the　mind　into　a　new　state　of　equilibrium　when　the



process　of　preparation　and　incubation　has　proceeded　far　enough。　



It　is　like　the　proverbial　last　straw　added　to　the　camel's　burden；



or　that　touch　of　a　needle　which　makes　the　salt　in　a



supersaturated　fluid　suddenly　begin　to　crystallize　out。







Tolstoy　writes：　　〃S。；　a　frank　and　intelligent　man；　told　me　as



follows　how　he　ceased　to　believe：







〃He　was　twenty…six　years　old　when　one　day　on　a　hunting



expedition；　the　time　for　sleep　having　come；　he　set　himself　to



pray　according　to　the　custom　he　had　held　from　childhood。







〃His　brother；　who　was　hunting　with　him；　lay　upon　the　hay　and



looked　at　him。　　When　S。　had　finished　his　prayer　and　was　turning



to　sleep；　the　brother　said；　'Do　you　still　keep　up　that　thing？'



Nothing　more　was　said。　　But　since　that　day；　now　more　than　thirty



years　ago；　S。　　has　never　prayed　again；　he　never　takes　communion；



and　does　not　go　to　church。　　All　this；　not　because　he　became



acquainted　with　convictions　of　his　brother　which　he　then　and



there　adopted；　not　because　he　made　any　new　resolution　in　his



soul；　but　merely　because　the　words　spoken　by　his　brother　were



like　the　light　push　of　a　finger　against　a　leaning　wall　already



about　to　tumble　by　its　own　weight。　　These　words　but　showed　him



that　the　place　wherein　he　supposed　religion　dwelt　in　him　had　long



been　empty；　and　that　the　sentences　he　uttered；　the　crosses　and



bows　which　he　made　during　his　prayer；　were　actions　with　no　inner



sense。　　Having　once　seized　their　absurdity；　he　could　no　longer



keep　them　up。〃　　　　Ma　Confession；　p。　8。







I　subjoin　an　additional　document　which　has　come　into　my



possession；　and　which　represents　in　a　vivid　way　what　is　probably



a　very　frequent　sort　of　conversion；　if　the　opposite　of　'falling



in　love；'　falling　out　of　love；　may　be　so　termed。　　Falling　in　love



also　conforms　frequently　to　this　type；　a　latent　process　of



unconscious　preparation　often　preceding　a　sudden　awakening　to　the



fact　that　the　mischief　is　irretrievably　done。　　The　free　and　easy



tone　in　this　narrative　gives　it　a　sincerity　that　speaks　for



itself。







〃For　two　years　of　this　time　I　went　through　a　very　bad　experience；



which　almost　drove　me　mad。　　I　had　fallen　violently　in　love　with　a



girl　who；　young　as　she　was；　had　a　spirit　of　coquetry　like　a　cat。



As　I　look　back　on　her　now；　I　hate　her；　and　wonder　how　I　could



ever　have　fallen　so　low　as　to　be　worked　upon　to　such　an　extent　by



her　attractions。　　Nevertheless；　I　fell　into　a　regular　fever；



could　think　of　nothing　else；　whenever　I　was　alone；　I　pictured　her



attractions；　and　spent　most　of　the　time　when　I　should　have　been



working；　in　recalling　our　previous　interviews；　and　imagining



future　conversations。　　She　was　very　pretty；　good　humored；　and



jolly　to　the　last　degree；　and　intensely　pleased　with　my



admiration。　　Would　give　me　no　decided　answer　yes　or　no　and　the



queer　thing　about　it　was　that　whilst　pursuing　her　for　her　hand；　I



secretly　knew　all　along　that　she　was　unfit　to　be　a　wife　for　me；



and　that　she　never　would　say　yes。　　Although　for　a　year　we　took



our