28-does the race of man love a lord-第2部分

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say　to　a　frowzy　and　disreputable　dog：　　〃He　came　right　to　me　and　let

me　pat　him　on　the　head；　and　he　wouldn't　let　the　others　touch　him！〃

and　you　have　seen　her　eyes　dance　with　pride　in　that　high　distinction。　

You　have　often　seen　that。　　If　the　child　were　a　princess；　would　that

random　dog　be　able　to　confer　the　like　glory　upon　her　with　his

pretty　compliment？　　Yes；　and　even　in　her　mature　life　and　seated

upon　a　throne；　she　would　still　remember　it；　still　recall　it；

still　speak　of　it　with　frank　satisfaction。　　That　charming　and

lovable　German　princess　and　poet；　Carmen　Sylva；　Queen　of　Roumania；

remembers　yet　that　the　flowers　of　the　woods　and　fields　〃talked　to　her〃

when　she　was　a　girl；　and　she　sets　it　down　in　her　latest　book；

and　that　the　squirrels　conferred　upon　her　and　her　father　the　valued

compliment　of　not　being　afraid　of　them；　and　〃once　one　of　them；

holding　a　nut　between　its　sharp　little　teeth；　ran　right　up　against

my　father〃it　has　the　very　note　of　〃He　came　right　to　me　and　let

me　pat　him　on　the　head〃〃and　when　it　saw　itself　reflected　in　his

boot　it　was　very　much　surprised；　and　stopped　for　a　long　time　to

contemplate　itself　in　the　polished　leather〃then　it　went　its　way。　

And　the　birds！　she　still　remembers　with　pride　that　〃they　came

boldly　into　my　room；〃　when　she　had　neglected　her　〃duty〃　and　put

no　food　on　the　window…sill　for　them；　she　knew　all　the　wild　birds；

and　forgets　the　royal　crown　on　her　head　to　remember　with　pride

that　they　knew　her；　also　that　the　wasp　and　the　bee　were　personal

friends　of　hers；　and　never　forgot　that　gracious　relationship

to　her　injury：　　〃never　have　I　been　stung　by　a　wasp　or　a　bee。〃　

And　here　is　that　proud　note　again　that　sings　in　that　little　child's

elation　in　being　singled　out；　among　all　the　company　of　children；

for　the　random　dog's　honor…conferring　attentions。　　〃Even　in　the　very

worst　summer　for　wasps；　when；　in　lunching　out　of　doors；　our　table

was　covered　with　them　and　every　one　else　was　stung；　they　never

hurt　me。〃



When　a　queen　whose　qualities　of　mind　and　heart　and　character　are

able　to　add　distinction　to　so　distinguished　a　place　as　a　throne；

remembers　with　grateful　exultation；　after　thirty　years；　honors　and

distinctions　conferred　upon　her　by　the　humble；　wild　creatures　of

the　forest；　we　are　helped　to　realize　that　complimentary　attentions；

homage；　distinctions；　are　of　no　caste；　but　are　above　all　cast

that　they　are　a　nobility…conferring　power　apart。



We　all　like　these　things。　　When　the　gate…guard　at　the　railway…station

passes　me　through　unchallenged　and　examines　other　people's　tickets；

I　feel　as　the　king；　class　A；　felt　when　the　emperor　put　the　imperial

hand　on　his　shoulder；　〃everybody　seeing　him　do　it〃；　and　as　the　child

felt　when　the　random　dog　allowed　her　to　pat　his　head　and　ostracized

the　others；　and　as　the　princess　felt　when　the　wasps　spared　her

and　stung　the　rest；　and　I　felt　just　so；　four　years　ago　in　Vienna

（and　remember　it　yet）；　when　the　helmeted　police　shut　me　off；

with　fifty　others；　from　a　street　which　the　Emperor　was　to　pass　through；

and　the　captain　of　the　squad　turned　and　saw　the　situation　and　said

indignantly　to　that　guard：



〃Can't　you　see　it　is　the　Herr　Mark　Twain？　　Let　him　through！〃



It　was　four　years　ago；　but　it　will　be　four　hundred　before　I　forget

the　wind　of　self…complacency　that　rose　in　me；　and　strained　my

buttons　when　I　marked　the　deference　for　me　evoked　in　the　faces　of　my

fellow…rabble；　and　noted；　mingled　with　it；　a　puzzled　and　resentful

expression　which　said；　as　plainly　as　speech　could　have　worded　it：　

〃And　who　in　the　nation　is　the　Herr　Mark　Twain　UM　GOTTESWILLEN？〃



How　many　times　in　your　life　have　you　heard　this　boastful　remark：



〃I　stood　as　close　to　him　as　I　am　to　you；　I　could　have　put　out　my

hand　and　touched　him。〃



We　have　all　heard　it　many　and　many　a　time。　　It　was　a　proud

distinction　to　be　able　to　say　those　words。　　It　brought　envy　to

the　speaker；　a　kind　of　glory；　and　he　basked　in　it　and　was　happy

through　all　his　veins。　　And　who　was　it　he　stood　so　close　to？　

The　answer　would　cover　all　the　grades。　　Sometimes　it　was　a　king；

sometimes　it　was　a　renowned　highwayman；　sometimes　it　was　an　unknown

man　killed　in　an　extraordinary　way　and　made　suddenly　famous　by　it；

always　it　was　a　person　who　was　for　the　moment　the　subject　of　public

interest　of　a　village。



〃I　was　there；　and　I　saw　it　myself。〃　　That　is　a　common　and

envy…compelling　remark。　　It　can　refer　to　a　battle；　to　a　handing；

to　a　coronation；　to　the　killing　of　Jumbo　by　the　railway…train；

to　the　arrival　of　Jenny　Lind　at　the　Battery；　to　the　meeting　of　the

President　and　Prince　Henry；　to　the　chase　of　a　murderous　maniac；

to　the　disaster　in　the　tunnel；　to　the　explosion　in　the　subway；

to　a　remarkable　dog…fight；　to　a　village　church　struck　by　lightning。　

It　will　be　said；　more　or　less　causally；　by　everybody　in　America　who　has

seen　Prince　Henry　do　anything；　or　try　to。　　The　man　who　was　absent

and　didn't　see　him　to　anything；　will　scoff。　　It　is　his　privilege；

and　he　can　make　capital　out　of　it；　too；　he　will　seem；　even　to　himself；

to　be　different　from　other　Americans；　and　better。　　As　his　opinion

of　his　superior　Americanism　grows；　and　swells；　and　concentrates

and　coagulates；　he　will　go　further　and　try　to　belittle　the　distinction

of　those　that　saw　the　Prince　do　things；　and　will　spoil　their　pleasure

in　it　if　he　can。　　My　life　has　been　embittered　by　that　kind　of　persons。　

If　you　are　able　to　tell　of　a　special　distinction　that　has　fallen

to　your　lot；　it　gravels　them；　they　cannot　bear　it；　and　they　try

to　make　believe　that　the　thing　you　took　for　a　special　distinction

was　nothing　of　the　kind　and　was　meant　in　quite　another　way。　

Once　I　was　received　in　private　audience　by　an　emperor。　　Last　week

I　was　telling　a　jealous　person　about　it；　and　I　could　see　him　wince

under　it；　see　him　bite；　see　him　suffer。　　I　revealed　the　whole　episode

to　him　with　considerable　elaboration　and　nice　attention　to　detail。　

When　I　was　through；　he　asked　me　what　had　impressed　me　most。　

I　said：



〃His　Majesty's　delicacy。　　They　told　me　to　be　sure　and　back

out　from　the　presence；　and　find　the　door…knob　as　best　I　could；

it　was　not　allowable　to　face　around。　　Now　the　Emperor　knew　it　would

be　a　difficult　ordeal　for　me；　because　of　lack　of　practice；　and　so；

when　it　was　time　to　part；　he　turned；　with　exceeding　delicacy；

and　pretended　to　fumble　with　things　on　his　desk；　so　I　could　get

out　in　my　own　way；　without　his　seeing　me。〃



It　went　home！　　It　was　vitriol！　　I　saw　the　envy　and　disgruntlement　rise

in　the　man's　face；　he　couldn't　keep　it　down。　　I　saw　him　try　to　fix

up　something　in　his　mind　to　take　the　bloom　off　that　distinction。　

I　enjoyed　that；　for　I　judged　that　he　had　his　work　cut　out　for　him。　

He　struggled　along　inwardly　for　quite　a　while；　then　he　said；

with　a　manner　of　a　person　who　has　to　say　something　and　hasn't　anything

relevant　to　say：



〃You　said　he　had　a　handful　of　special…brand　cigars　on　the　table？〃



〃Yes；　_I_　never　said　anything　to　match　them。〃



I　had　him　again。　　He　had　to　fumble　around　in　his　mind　as　much

as　another　minute　before　he　could　play；　then　he　said　in　as　mean

a　way　as　I　ever　heard　a　person　say　anything：



〃He　could　have　been　counting　the　cigars；　you　know。〃



I　cannot　endure　a　man　like　that。　　It　is　nothing　to　him　how　unkind

he　is；　so　long　as　he　takes　the　bloom　off。　　It　is　all　he　cares　for。



〃An　Englishman　（or　other　human　being）　does　dearly　love　a　lord；〃

（or　other　conspicuous　person。）　It　includes　us　all。　　We　love　to　be

noticed　by　the　conspicuous　person；　we　love　to　be　associated　with　such；

or　with　a　conspicuous　event；　even　in　a　seventh…rate　fashion；

even　in　the　forty…seventh；　if　we　cannot　do　better。　　This　accounts

for　some　of　our　curious　tastes　in　mementos。　　It　accounts　for　the　large

private　trade　in　the　Prince　of　Wales's　hair；　which　chambermaids

were　able　to　drive　in　that　article　of　commerce　when　the　Prince　made

the　tour　of　the　world　in　the　long　agohair　which　probably　did

not　always　come　from　his　brush；　since　enough　of　it　was　marketed

to　refurnish　a　bald　comet；　it　accounts　for　the　fact　that　the　rope

which　lynches　a　negro　in　the　presence　of　ten　thousand　Christian

spectators　is　salable　five　minutes　later　at　two　dollars　and　inch；

it　accounts　for　the　mournful　fact　that　a　royal　personage　does　not

venture　to　wear　buttons　on　his　coat　in　public。



We　do　love　a　lordand　by　that　term　I　mean　any　person　whose　situation

is　higher　than　our　own。　　The　lord　of　the　group；　for　instance：　

a　group　of　peers；　a　group　of　millionaires；　a　group　of　hoodlums；

a　group　of　sailors；　a　group　of　newsboys；　a　group　of　saloon　politicians；

a　group　of　college　girls。　　No　royal　person　has　ever　been　the　object

of　a　more　delirious　loyalty　and　slavish　adoration　than　is　paid

by　the　vast　Tammany　herd　to　its　squalid　idol　in　Wantage。　　There　is

not　a　bifurcated　animal　in　that　menagerie　that　would　not　be　proud

to　appear　in　a　newspaper　picture　in　his　company。　　At　the　same　time；

there　are　some　in　that　organization　who　would　scoff　at　the　people

who　have　been　daily　pictured　in　company　with　Prince　Henry；　and　would

say　vigorously　that　THEY　would　not　consent　to　be　photographed

with　hima　statement　which　would　not　be　true　in　any　instance。　

There　are　hundreds　of　people　in　America　who　would　frankly　say　to　you

that　they　would　not　be　proud　to　be　photographed　in　a　group　with

the　Prince；　if　invited；　and　some　of　these　unthinking　people　would

believe　it　when　they　said　it；　yet　in　no　instance　would　it　be　true。　

We　have　a　large　population；　but　we　have　not　a　large　enough　one；

by　several　millions；　to　furnish　that　man。　　He　has　not　yet　been　begotten；

and　in　fact　he　is　not　begettable。



You　may　take　any　of　the　printed　groups；　and　there　isn't　a　person

in　the　dim　background　who　isn't　visibly　trying　to　be　vivid；　if　it

is　a　crowd　of　ten　thousandten　thousand　proud；　untamed　democrats；

horny…handed　sons　of　toil　and　of　politics；　and　fliers　of　the　eagle

there　isn't　one　who　is　trying　to　keep　out　of　ran