historia calamitatum-第4部分

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emest　hope；　I　offered　to　marry　her　whom　I　had　seduced；　provided　only　the　thing　could　be　kept　secret；　so　that　I　might　suffer　no　loss　of　reputation　thereby。　To　this　he　gladly　assented；　pledging　his　own　faith　and　that　of　his　kindred；　and　sealing　with　kisses　the　pact　which　I　had　sought　of　himand　all　this　that　he　might　the　more　easily　betray　me。

CHAPTER　VII
OF　THE　ARGUMENTS　OF　HELOISE　AGAINST　WEDLOCK
OF　HOW　NONE　THE　LESS　HE　MADE　HER　HIS　WIFE
FORTHWITH　I　repaired　to　my　own　country；　and　brought　back　thence　my　mistress；　that　I　might　make　her　my　wife。　She；　however；　most　violently　disapproved　of　this；　and　for　two　chief　reasons：　the　danger　thereof；　and　the　disgrace　which　it　would　bring　upon　me。　She　swore　that　her　uncle　would　never　be　appeased　by　such　satisfaction　as　this；　as；　indeed；　afterwards　proved　only　too　true。　She　asked　how　she　could　ever　glory　in　me　if　she　should　make　me　thus　inglorious；　and　should　shame　herself　along　with　me。　What　penalties；　she　said；　would　the　world　rightly　demand　of　her　if　she　should　rob　it　of　so　shining　a　light！　What　curses　would　follow　such　a　loss　to　the　Church；　what　tears　among　the　philosophers　would　result　from　such　a　marriage！　How　unfitting；　how　lamentable　it　would　be　for　me；　whom　nature　had　made　for　the　whole　world；　to　devote　myself　to　one　woman　solely；　and　to　subject　myself　to　such　humiliation！　She　vehemently　rejected　this　marriage；　which　she　felt　would　be　in　every　way　ignominious　and　burdensome　to　me。

Besides　dwelling　thus　on　the　disgrace　to　me；　she　reminded　me　of　the　hardships　of　married　life；　to　the　avoidance　of　which　the　Apostle　exhorts　us；　saying：　〃Art　thou　loosed　from　a　wife？　seek　not　a　wife。　But　and　marry；　thou　hast　not　sinned；　and　if　a　virgin　marry　she　hath　not　sinned。　Nevertheless　such　shall　have　trouble　in　the　flesh：　but　I　spare　you〃　（I　Cor。　vii。　27）。　And　again：　〃But　I　would　have　you　to　be　free　from　cares〃　（I　Cor。　vii。　32）。　But　if　I　would　heed　neither　the　counsel　of　the　Apostle　nor　the　exhortations　of　the　saints　regarding　this　heavy　yoke　of　matrimony；　she　bade　me　at　least　consider　the　advice　of　the　philosophers；　and　weigh　carefully　what　had　been　written　on　this　subject　either　by　them　or　concerning　their　lives。　Even　the　saints　themselves　have　often　and　earnestly　spoken　on　this　subject　for　the　purpose　of　warning　us。　Thus　St。　Jerome；　in　his　first　book　against　Jovinianus；　makes　Theophrastus　set　forth　in　great　detail　the　intolerable　annoyances　and　the　endless　disturbances　of　married　life；　demonstrating　with　the　most　convincing　arguments　that　no　wise　man　should　ever　have　a　wife；　and　concluding　his　reasons　for　this　philosophic　exhortation　with　these　words：　〃Who　among　Christians　would　not　be　overwhelmed　by　such　arguments　as　these　advanced　by　Theophrastus？〃

Again；　in　the　same　work；　St。　Jerome　tells　how　Cicero；　asked　by　Hircius　after　his　divorce　of　Terentia　whether　he　would　marry　the　sister　of　Hircius；　replied　that　he　would　do　no　such　thing；　saying　that　he　could　not　devote　himself　to　a　wife　and　to　philosophy　at　the　same　time。　Cicero　does　not；　indeed；　precisely　speak　of　〃devoting　himself；〃　but　he　does　add　that　he　did　not　wish　to　undertake　anything　which　might　rival　his　study　of　philosophy　in　its　demands　upon　him。

Then；　turning　from　the　consideration　of　such　hindrances　to　the　study　of　philosophy；　Heloise　bade　me　observe　what　were　the　conditions　of　honourable　wedlock。　What　possible　concord　could　there　be　between　scholars　and　domestics；　between　authors　and　cradles；　between　books　or　tablets　and　distaffs；　between　the　stylus　or　the　pen　and　the　spindle？　What　man；　intent　on　his　religious　or　philosophical　meditations；　can　possibly　endure　the　whining　of　children；　the　lullabies　of　the　nurse　seeking　to　quiet　them；　or　the　noisy　confusion　of　family　life？　Who　can　endure　the　continual　untidiness　of　children？　The　rich；　you　may　reply；　can　do　this；　because　they　have　palaces　or　houses　containing　many　rooms；　and　because　their　wealth　takes　no　thought　of　expense　and　protects　them　from　daily　worries。　But　to　this　the　answer　is　that　the　condition　of　philosophers　is　by　no　means　that　of　the　wealthy；　nor　can　those　whose　minds　are　occupied　with　riches　and　worldly　cares　find　time　for　religious　or　philosophical　study。　For　this　reason　the　renowned　philosophers　of　old　utterly　despised　the　world；　fleeing　from　its　perils　rather　than　reluctantly　giving　them　up；　and　denied　themselves　all　its　delights　in　order　that　they　might　repose　in　the　embraces　of　philosophy　alone。　One　of　them；　and　the　greatest　of　all；　Seneca；　in　his　advice　to　Lucilius；　says　philosophy　is　not　a　thing　to　be　studied　only　in　hours　of　leisure；　we　must　give　up　everything　else　to　devote　ourselves　to　it；　for　no　amount　of　time　is　really　sufficient　hereto〃　（Epist。　73）

It　matters　little；　she　pointed　out；　whether　one　abandons　the　study　of　philosophy　completely　or　merely　interrupts　it；　for　it　can　never　remain　at　the　point　where　it　was　thus　interrupted。　All　other　occupations　must　be　resisted；　it　is　vain　to　seek　to　adjust　life　to　include　them；　and　they　must　simply　be　eliminated。　This　view　is　maintained；　for　example；　in　the　love　of　God　by　those　among　us　who　are　truly　called　monastics；　and　in　the　love　of　wisdom　by　all　those　who　have　stood　out　among　men　as　sincere　philosophers。　For　in　every　race；　gentiles　or　Jews　or　Christians；　there　have　always　been　a　few　who　excelled　their　fellows　in　faith　or　in　the　purity　of　their　lives；　and　who　were　set　apart　from　the　multitude　by　their　continence　or　by　their　abstinence　from　worldly　pleasures。

Among　the　Jews　of　old　there　were　the　Nazarites；　who　consecrated　themselves　to　the　Lord；　some　of　them　the　sons　of　the　prophet　Elias　and　others　the　followers　of　Eliseus；　the　monks　of　whom；　on　the　authority　of　St。　Jerome　（Epist。　4　and　13）；　we　read　in　the　Old　Testament。　More　recently　there　were　the　three　philosophical　sects　which　Josephus　defines　in　his　Book　of　Antiquities　（xviii。　2）；　calling　them　the　Pharisees；　the　Sadducees　and　the　Essenes。　In　our　times；　furthermore；　there　are　the　monks　who　imitate　either　the　communal　life　of　the　Apostles　or　the　earlier　and　solitary　life　of　John。　Among　the　gentiles　there　are；　as　has　been　said；　the　philosophers。　Did　they　not　apply　the　name　of　wisdom　or　philosophy　as　much　to　the　religion　of　life　as　to　the　pursuit　of　learning；　as　we　find　from　the　origin　of　the　word　itself；　and　likewise　from　the　testimony　of　the　saints？

There　is　a　passage　on　this　subject　in　the　eighth　book　of　St。　Augustine's　〃City　of　God；〃　wherein　he　distinguishes　between　the　various　schools　of　philosophy。　〃The　Italian　school；〃　he　says；　〃had　as　its　founder　Pythagoras　of　Samos；　who；　it　is　said；　originated　the　very　word　'philosophy'。　Before　his　time　those　who　were　regarded　as　conspicuous　for　the　praiseworthiness　of　their　lives　were　called　wise　men；　but　he；　on　being　asked　of　his　profession；　replied　that　he　was　a　philosopher；　that　is　to　say　a　student　or　a　lover　of　wisdom　because　it　seemed　to　him　unduly　boastful　to　call　himself　a　wise　man。〃　In　this　passage；　therefore；　when　the　phrase　〃conspicuous　for　the　praiseworthiness　of　their　lives〃　is　used；　it　is　evident　that　the　wise；　in　other　words　the　philosophers；　were　so　called　less　because　of　their　erudition　than　by　reason　of　their　virtuous　lives。　In　what　sobriety　and　continence　these　men　lived　it　is　not　for　me　to　prove　by　illustration；　lest　I　should　seem　to　instruct　Minerva　herself。

Now；　she　added；　if　laymen　and　gentiles；　bound　by　no　profession　of　religion；　lived　after　this　fashion；　what　ought　you；　a　cleric　and　a　canon；　to　do　in　order　not　to　prefer　base　voluptuousness　to　your　sacred　duties；　to　prevent　this　Charybdis　from　sucking　you　down　headlong；　and　to　save　yourself　from　being　plunged　shamelessly　and　irrevocably　into　such　filth　as　this？　If　you　care　nothing　for　your　privileges　as　a　cleric；　at　least　uphold　your　dignity　as　a　philosopher。　If　you　scorn　the　reverence　due　to　God；　let　regard　for　your　reputation　temper　your　shamelessness。　Remember　that　Socrates　was　chained　to　a　wife；　and　by　what　a　filthy　accident　he　himself　paid　for　this　blot　on　philosophy；　in　order　that　others　thereafter　might　be　made　more　cautious　by　his　example。　Jerome　thus　mentions　this　affair；　writing　about　Socrates　in　his　first　book　against　Jovinianus：　〃Once　when　he　was　withstanding　a　storm　of　reproaches　which　Xantippe　was　hurling　at　him　from　an　upper　story；　he　was　suddenly　drenched　with　foul　slops；　wiping　his　head；　he　said　only；　'I　knew　there　would　be　a　shower　after　all　that　thunder。'〃

Her　final　argument　was　that　it　would　be　dangerous　for　me　to　take　her　back　to　Paris；　and　that　it　would　be　far　sweeter　for　her　to　be　called　my　mistress　than　to　be　known　as　my　wife；　nay；　too；　that　this　would　be　more　honourable　for　me　as　well。　In　such　case；　she　said；　love　alone　would　hold　me　to　her；　and　the　strength　of　the　marriage　chain　would　not　constrain　us。　Even　if　we　should　by　chance　be　parted　from　time　to　time；　the　joy　of　our　meetings　would　be　all　the　sweeter　by　reason　of　its　rarity。　But　when　she　found　that　she　could　not　convince　me　or　dissuade　me　from　my　folly　by　these　and　like　arguments；　and　because　she　could　not　bear　to　offend　me；　with　grievous　sighs　and　tears　she　made　an　end　of　her　resistance；　saying：　〃Then　there　is　no　more　left　but　this；　that　in　our　doom　the　sorrow　yet　to　come　shall　be　no　less　than　the　love　we　two　have　already　known。〃　Nor　in　this；　as　now　the　whole　world　knows；　did　she　lack　the　spirit　of　prophecy。

So；　after　our　little　son　was　born；　we　left　him　in　my　sister's　care；　and　secretly　returned　to　Paris。　A　few　days　later；　in　the　early　morning；　having　kept　our　nocturnal　vigil　of　prayer　unknown　to　all　in　a　certain　church；　we　were　united　there　in　the　benediction　of　wedlock　her　uncle　and　a　few　friends　of　his　and　mine　being　present。　We　departed　forthwith　stealthily　and　by　separate　ways；　nor　thereafter　did　we　see　each　other　save　rarely　and　in　private；　thus　striving　our　utmost　to　conceal　what　we　had　done。　But　her　uncle　and　those　of　his　household；　seeking　solace　for　their　disgrace；　began　to　divulge　the　story　of　our　marriage；　and　thereby　to　violate　the　pledge　they　had　given　me　on　this　point。　Heloise；　on　the　contrary；　denounced　her　own　kin　and　swore　that　they　were　speaking　the　most　absolute　lies。　Her　uncle；　aroused　to　fury　thereby；　visited　her　repeatedly　with　punishments。　No　sooner　had　I　learned　this　than　I　sent　her　to　a　convent　of　nuns　at　Argenteuil；　not　far