a house-boat on the styx-第15部分

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long；　it　seemed　to　me；　ought　to　have　been　able　to　ride　out　any　storm

or　fall　of　rain；　but　there　I　was　wrong；　and　I　am　free　to　admit　my

error。　　It　never　occurred　to　me　that　the　sea…serpents　were　in　any

danger；　so　I　let　them　alone；　with　the　result　that　I　never　saw　but　one

other；　and　he　was　only　an　illusion　due　to　that　unhappy　use　of

stimulants　to　which；　with　shocking　bad　taste；　you　have　chosen　to

refer。〃



〃I　didn't　mean　to　call　up　unpleasant　memories；〃　said　Barnum。　　〃I

never　believed　you　got　half…seas　over；　anyhow；　but；　to　return　to　our

muttons；　why　didn't　you　hand　down　a　few　varieties　of　the　Therium

family　to　posterity？　　There　were　the　Dinotherium　and　the　Megatherium；

either　one　of　which　would　have　knocked　spots　out　of　any　leopard　that

ever　was　made；　and　along　side　of　which　even　my　woolly　horse　would

have　paled　into　insignificance。　　That's　what　I　can't　understand　in

your　selections；　with　Megatheriums　to　burn；　why　save　leopards　and

panthers　and　other　such　every…day　creatures？〃



〃What　kind　of　a　boat　do　you　suppose　I　had？〃　cried　Noah。　　〃Do　you

imagine　for　a　moment　that　she　was　four　miles　on　the　water…line；　with

a　mile　and　three…quarters　beam？　　If　I'd　had　a　pair　of　Dinotheriums　in

the　stern　of　that　Ark；　she'd　have　tipped　up　fore　and　aft；　until　she'd

have　looked　like　a　telegraph…pole　in　the　water；　and　if　I'd　put　'em

amidships　they'd　have　had　to　be　wedged　in　so　tightly　they　couldn't

move　to　keep　the　vessel　trim。　　I　didn't　go　to　sea；　my　friend；　for　the

purpose　of　being　tipped　over　in　mid…ocean　every　time　one　of　my　cargo

wanted　to　shift　his　weight　from　one　leg　to　the　other。〃



〃It　was　bad　enough　with　the　elephants；　wasn't　it；　papa？〃　said　Shem。



〃Yes；　indeed；　my　son；〃　returned　the　patriarch。　　〃It　was　bad　enough

with　the　elephants。　　We　had　to　shift　our　ballast　half　a　dozen　times　a

day　to　keep　the　boat　from　travelling　on　her　beam　ends；　the　elephants

moved　about　so　much；　and　when　we　came　to　the　question　of　provender；

it　took　up　about　nine…tenths　of　our　hold　to　store　hay　and　peanuts

enough　to　keep　them　alive　and　good…tempered。　　On　the　whole；　I　think

it's　rather　late　in　the　day；　considering　the　trouble　I　took　to　save

anything　but　myself　and　my　family；　to　be　criticised　as　I　now　am。　　You

ought　to　be　much　obliged　to　me　for　saving　any　animals　at　all。　　Most

people　in　my　position　would　have　built　a　yacht　for　themselves　and

family；　and　let　everything　else　slide。〃



〃That　is　quite　true；〃　observed　Raleigh；　with　a　pacificatory　nod　at

Noah。　　〃You　were　eminently　unselfish；　and　while；　with　Mr。　Barnum；　I

exceedingly　regret　that　the　Saurians　and　Therii　and　other　tribes　were

left　on　the　pier　when　you　sailed；　I　nevertheless　think　that　you

showed　most　excellent　judgment　at　the　time。〃



〃He　was　the　only　man　who　had　any　at　all；　for　that　matter；〃　suggested

Shem；　〃and　it　required　all　his　courage　to　show　it。　　Everybody　was

guying　him。　　Sinners　stood　around　the　yard　all　day　and　every　day；

criticising　the　model；　one　scoffer　pretended　he　thought　her　a　canal…

boat；　and　asked　how　deep　the　flood　was　likely　to　be　on　the　tow…path；

and　whether　we　intended　to　use　mules　in　shallow　water　and　giraffes　in

deep；　another　asked　what　time　allowance　we　expected　to　get　in　a

fifteen…mile　run；　and　hinted　that　a　year　and　two　months　per　mile

struck　him　as　being　the　proper　thing〃



〃It　was　far　from　pleasant；〃　said　Noah；　tapping　his　fingers　together

reflectively。　　〃I　don't　want　to　go　through　it　again；　and　if；　as

Raleigh　suggests；　history　is　likely　to　repeat　herself；　I'll　sublet

the　contract　to　Barnum　here；　and　let　him　get　the　chaff。〃



〃It　was　all　right　in　the　end；　though；　dad；〃　said　Shem。　　〃We　had　the

great　laugh　on　'hoi　polloi'　the　second　day　out。〃



〃We　did；　indeed；〃　said　Noah。　　〃When　we　told　'em　we　only　carried

first…class　passengers　and　had　no　room　for　emigrants；　they　began　to

see　that　the　Ark　wasn't　such　an　old　tub；　after　all；　and　a　good　ninety

per　cent。　of　them　would　have　given　ten　dollars　for　a　little　of　that

time　allowance　they'd　been　talking　to　us　about　for　several

centuries。〃



Noah　lapsed　into　a　musing　silence；　and　Barnum　rose　to　leave。



〃I　still　wish　you'd　saved　a　Discosaurus；〃　he　said。　　〃A　creature　with

a　neck　twenty…two　feet　long　would　have　been　a　gold　mine　to　me。　　He

could　have　been　trained　to　stand　in　the　ring；　and　by　stretching　out

his　neck　bite　the　little　boys　who　sneak　in　under　the　tent　and　occupy

seats　on　the　top　row。〃



〃Well；　for　your　sake；〃　said　Noah；　with　a　smile；　〃I'm　very　sorry；　but

for　my　own；　I'm　quite　satisfied　with　the　general　results。〃



And　they　all　agreed　that　the　patriarch　had　every　reason　to　be　pleased

with　himself。







CHAPTER　XII：　　THE　HOUSE…BOAT　DISAPPEARS







Queen　Elizabeth；　attended　by　Ophelia　and　Xanthippe；　was　walking　along

the　river…bank。　　It　was　a　beautiful　autumn　day；　although；　owing　to

certain　climatic　peculiarities　of　Hades；　it　seemed　more　like

midsummer。　　The　mercury　in　the　club　thermometer　was　nervously

clicking　against　the　top　of　the　crystal　tube；　and　poor　Cerberus　was

having　all　he　could　do　with　his　three　mouths　snapping　up　the

pestiferous　little　shades　of　by…gone　gnats　that　seemed　to　take　an

almost　unholy　pleasure　in　alighting　upon　his　various　noses　and　ears。



Ophelia　was　doing　most　of　the　talking。



〃I　am　sure　I　have　never　wished　to　ride　one　of　them；〃　she　said；

positively。　　〃In　the　first　place；　I　do　not　see　where　the　pleasure　of

it　comes　in；　and；　in　the　second；　it　seems　to　me　as　if　skirts　must　be

dangerous。　　If　they　should　catch　in　one　of　the　pedals；　where　would　I

be？〃



〃In　the　hospital　shortly；　methinks；〃　said　Queen　Elizabeth。



〃Well；　I　shouldn't　wear　skirts；〃　snapped　Xanthippe。　　〃If　a　man's　wife

can't　borrow　some　of　her　husband's　clothing　to　reduce　her　peril　to　a

minimum；　what　is　the　use　of　having　a　husband？　　When　I　take　to　the

bicycle；　which；　in　spite　of　all　Socrates　can　say；　I　fully　intend　to

do；　I　shall　have　a　man's　wheel；　and　I　shall　wear　Socrates'　old　dress…

clothes。　　If　Hades　doesn't　like　it；　Hades　may　suffer。〃



〃I　don't　see　how　Socrates'　clothes　will　help　you；〃　observed　Ophelia。

〃He　wore　skirts　himself；　just　like　all　the　other　old　Greeks。　　His

toga　would　be　quite　as　apt　to　catch　in　the　gear　as　your　skirts。〃



Xanthippe　looked　puzzled　for　a　moment。　　It　was　evident　that　she　had

not　thought　of　the　point　which　Ophelia　had　brought　upstrong…minded

ladies　of　her　kind　are　apt　sometimes　to　overlook　important　links　in

such　chains　of　evidence　as　they　feel　called　upon　to　use　in　binding

themselves　to　their　rights。



〃The　women　of　your　day　were　relieved　of　that　dress　problem；　at　any

rate；〃　laughed　Queen　Elizabeth。



〃The　women　of　my　day；〃　retorted　Xanthippe；　〃in　matters　of　dress　were

the　equals　of　their　husbandsin　my　family　particularly；　now　they

have　lost　their　rights；　and　are　made　to　confine　themselves　still　to

garments　like　those　of　yore；　while　man　has　arrogated　to　himself　the

sole　and　exclusive　use　of　sane　habiliments。　　However；　that　is　apart

from　the　question。　　I　was　saying　that　I　shall　have　a　man's　wheel；　and

shall　wear　Socrates'　old　dress…clothes　to　ride　it　in；　if　Socrates　has

to　go　out　and　buy　an　old　dress…suit　for　the　purpose。〃



The　Queen　arched　her　brows　and　looked　inquiringly　at　Xanthippe　for　a

moment。



〃A　magnificent　old　maid　was　lost　to　the　world　when　you　married；〃　she

said。　　〃Feeling　as　you　do　about　men；　my　dear　Xanthippe；　I　don't　see

why　you　ever　took　a　husband。〃



〃Humph！〃　retorted　Xanthippe。　　〃Of　course　you　don't。　　You　didn't　need

a　husband。　　You　were　born　with　something　to　govern。　　I　wasn't。〃



〃How　about　your　temper？〃　suggested　Ophelia；　meekly。



Xanthippe　sniffed　frigidly　at　this　remark。



〃I　never　should　have　gone　crazy　over　a　man　if　I'd　remained　unmarried

forty　thousand　years；〃　she　retorted；　severely。　　〃I　married　Socrates

because　I　loved　him　and　admired　his　sculpture；　but　when　he　gave　up

sculpture　and　became　a　thinker　he　simply　tried　me　beyond　all

endurance；　he　was　so　thoughtless；　with　the　result　that；　having

ventured　once　or　twice　to　show　my　natural　resentment；　I　have　been

handed　down　to　posterity　as　a　shrew。　　I've　never　complained；　and　I

don't　complain　now；　but　when　a　woman　is　married　to　a　philosopher　who

is　so　taken　up　with　his　studies　that　when　he　rises　in　the　morning　he

doesn't　look　what　he　is　doing；　and　goes　off　to　his　business　in　his

wife's　clothes；　I　think　she　is　entitled　to　a　certain　amount　of

sympathy。〃



〃And　yet　you　wish　to　wear　his；〃　persisted　Ophelia。



〃Turn　about　is　fair…play；〃　said　Xanthippe。　　〃I've　suffered　so　much　on

his　account　that　on　the　principle　of　averages　he　deserves　to　have　a

little　drop　of　bitters　in　his　nectar。〃



〃You　are　simply　the　victim　of　man's　deceit；〃　said　Elizabeth；　wishing

to　mollify　the　now　angry　Xanthippe；　who　was　on　the　verge　of　tears。

〃I　understood　men；　fortunately；　and　so　never　married。　　I　knew　my

father；　and　even　if　I　hadn't　been　a　wise　enough　child　to　know　him；　I

should　not　have　wed；　because　he　married　enough　to　last　one　family　for

several　years。〃



〃You　must　have　had　a　hard　time　refusing　all　those　lovely　men；

though；〃　sighed　Ophelia。　　〃Of　course；　Sir　Walter　wasn't　as　handsome

as　my　dear　Hamlet；　but　he　was　very　fetching。〃



〃I　cannot　deny　that；〃　said　Elizabeth；　〃and　I　didn't　really　have　the

heart　to　say　no　when　he　asked　me；　but　I　did　tell　him　that　if　he

married　me　I　should　not　become　Mrs。　Raleigh；　but　that　he　should

become　King　Elizabeth。　　He　fled　to　Virginia　on　the　next　steamer。　　My

diplomacy　rid　me　of　a　very　unpleasant　duty。〃



Chatting　thus；　the　three　famous　spirits　passed　slowly　along　the　path

until　they　came　to　the　sheltered　nook　in　which　the　house…boat　lay　at

anchor。



〃There's　a　case　in　point；〃　said　Xanthippe；　as　the　house…boat　loomed

up　before　them。　　〃All　that　luxury　is　for　men；　we　women　are　not

permitted　to　cross　the　gangplank。　　Our　husbands　and　brothers　and

friends　go　there；　the　door　closes　on　them；　and　they　are　as　comple