a house-boat on the styx-第4部分

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〃Not　raw；〃　said　Ptolemy；　with　a　chuckle。　　〃Though　I've　been　tempted

many　a　time　to　call　for　a　second　joint　of　the　Sphinx。〃



There　was　a　laugh　at　this；　in　which　all　but　Baron　Munchausen　joined。



〃I　think　it　is　too　bad；〃　said　the　Baron；　as　the　laughter　subsided〃I

think　it　is　very　much　too　bad　that　you　shades　have　brought　mundane

prejudice　with　you　into　this　sphere。　　Just　because　some　people　with

finite　minds　profess　to　disbelieve　my　stories；　you　think　it　well　to

be　sceptical　yourselves。　　I　don't　care；　however；　whether　you　believe

me　or　not。　　The　fact　remains　that　I　have　eaten　one　fried　pyramid　and

countless　stewed　icicles；　and　the　stewed　icicles　were　finer　than　any

diamond…back　rat　Confucius　ever　had　served　at　a　state　banquet。〃



〃Where's　Shakespeare　to…night？〃　asked　Confucius；　seeing　that　the

Baron　was　beginning　to　lose　his　temper；　and　wishing　to　avoid　trouble

by　changing　the　subject。　　〃Wasn't　he　invited；　General？〃



〃Yes；〃　said　Washington；　〃he　was　invited；　but　he　couldn't　come。　　He

had　to　go　over　the　river　to　consult　with　an　autograph　syndicate

they've　formed　in　New　York。　　You　know；　his　autographs　sell　for　about

one　thousand　dollars　apiece；　and　they're　trying　to　get　up　a　scheme

whereby　he　shall　contribute　an　autograph　a　week　to　the　syndicate；　to

be　sold　to　the　public。　　It　seems　like　a　rich　scheme；　but　there's　one

thing　in　the　way。　　Posthumous　autographs　haven't　very　much　of　a

market；　because　the　mortals　can't　be　made　to　believe　that　they　are

genuine；　but　the　syndicate　has　got　a　man　at　work　trying　to　get　over

that。　　These　Yankees　are　a　mighty　inventive　lot；　and　they　think

perhaps　the　scheme　can　be　worked。　　The　Yankee　IS　an　inventive

genius。〃



〃It　was　a　Yankee　invented　that　tale　about　your　not　being　able　to

prevaricate；　wasn't　it；　George？〃　asked　Diogenes。



Washington　smiled　acquiescence；　and　Doctor　Johnson　returned　to

Shakespeare。



〃I'd　rather　have　a　morning…glory　vine　than　one　of　Shakespeare's

autographs；〃　said　he。　　〃They　are　far　prettier；　and　quite　as　legible。〃



〃Mortals　wouldn't；〃　said　Bonaparte。



〃What　fools　they　be！〃　chuckled　Johnson。



At　this　point　the　canvas…back　ducks　were　served；　one　whole　shade　of　a

bird　for　each　guest。



〃Fall　to；　gentlemen；〃　said　Washington；　gazing　hungrily　at　his　bird。

〃When　canvas…back　ducks　are　on　the　table　conversation　is　not　required

of　any　one。〃



〃It　is　fortunate　for　us　that　we　have　so　considerate　a　host；〃　said

Confucius；　unfastening　his　robe　and　preparing　to　do　justice　to　the

fare　set　before　him。　　〃I　have　dined　often；　but　never　before　with　one

who　was　willing　to　let　me　eat　a　bird　like　this　in　silence。

Washington；　here's　to　you。　　May　your　life　be　chequered　with

birthdays；　and　may　ours　be　equally　well　supplied　with　feasts　like

this　at　your　expense！〃



The　toast　was　drained；　and　the　diners　fell　to　as　requested。



〃They're　great；　aren't　they？〃　whispered　Bonaparte　to　Munchausen。



〃Well；　rather；〃　returned　the　Baron。　　〃I　don't　see　why　the　mortals

don't　erect　a　statue　to　the　canvas…back。〃



〃Did　anybody　at　this　board　ever　have　as　much　canvas…back　duck　as　he

could　eat？〃　asked　Doctor　Johnson。



〃Yes；〃　said　the　Baron。　　〃I　did。　　Once。〃



〃Oh；　you！〃　sneered　Ptolemy。　　〃You've　had　everything。〃



〃Except　the　mumps；〃　retorted　Munchausen。　　〃But；　honestly；　I　did　once

have　as　much　canvas…back　duck　as　I　could　eat。〃



〃It　must　have　cost　you　a　million；〃　said　Bonaparte。　　〃But　even　then

they'd　be　cheap；　especially　to　a　man　like　yourself　who　could　perform

miracles。　　If　I　could　have　performed　miracles　with　the　ease　which　was

so　characteristic　of　all　your　efforts；　I'd　never　have　died　at　St。

Helena。〃



〃What's　the　odds　where　you　died？〃　said　Doctor　Johnson。　　〃If　it　hadn't

been　at　St。　Helena　it　would　have　been　somewhere　else；　and　you'd　have

found　death　as　stuffy　in　one　place　as　in　another。〃



〃Don't　let's　talk　of　death；〃　said　Washington。　　〃I　am　sure　the　Baron's

tale　of　how　he　came　to　have　enough　canvas…back　is　more　diverting。〃



〃I've　no　doubt　it　is　more　perverting；〃　said　Johnson。



〃It　happened　this　way；〃　said　Munchausen。　　〃I　was　out　for　sport；　and　I

got　it。　　I　was　alone；　my　servant　having　fallen　ill；　which　was

unfortunate；　since　I　had　always　left　the　filling　of　my　cartridge…box

to　him；　and　underestimated　its　capacity。　　I　started　at　six　in　the

morning；　and；　not　having　hunted　for　several　months；　was　not　in　very

good　form；　so；　no　game　appearing　for　a　time；　I　took　a　few　practice

shots；　trying　to　snip　off　the　slender　tops　of　the　pine…trees　that　I

encountered　with　my　bullets；　succeeding　tolerably　well　for　one　who

was　a　little　rusty；　bringing　down　ninety…nine　out　of　the　first　one

hundred　and　one；　and　missing　the　remaining　two　by　such　a　close　margin

that　they　swayed　to　and　fro　as　though　fanned　by　a　slight　breeze。　　As

I　fired　my　one　hundred　and　first　shot　what　should　I　see　before　me　but

a　flock　of　these　delicate　birds　floating　upon　the　placid　waters　of

the　bay！〃



〃Was　this　the　Bay　of　Biscay；　Baron？〃　queried　Columbus；　with　a　covert

smile　at　Ptolemy。



〃I　counted　them；〃　said　the　Baron；　ignoring　the　question；　〃and　there

were　just　sixty…eight。　　'Here's　a　chance　for　the　record；　Baron；'　said

I　to　myself；　and　then　I　made　ready　to　shoot　them。　　Imagine　my　dismay；

gentlemen；　when　I　discovered　that　while　I　had　plenty　of　powder　left　I

had　used　up　all　my　bullets。　　Now；　as　you　may　imagine；　to　a　man　with

no　bullets　at　hand；　the　sight　of　sixty…eight　fat　canvas…backs　is

hardly　encouraging；　but　I　was　resolved　to　have　every　one　of　those

birds；　the　question　was；　how　shall　I　do　it？　　I　never　can　think　on

water；　so　I　paddled　quietly　ashore　and　began　to　reflect。　　As　I　lay

there　deep　in　thought；　I　saw　lying　upon　the　beach　before　me　a　superb

oyster；　and　as　reflection　makes　me　hungry　I　seized　upon　the　bivalve

and　swallowed　him。　　As　he　went　down　something　stuck　in　my　throat；

and；　extricating　it；　what　should　it　prove　to　be　but　a　pearl　of

surpassing　beauty。　　My　first　thought　was　to　be　content　with　my　day's

find。　　A　pearl　worth　thousands　surely　was　enough　to　satisfy　the　most

ardent　lover　of　sport；　but　on　looking　up　I　saw　those　ducks　still

paddling　contentedly　about；　and　I　could　not　bring　myself　to　give　them

up。　　Suddenly　the　idea　came；　the　pearl　is　as　large　as　a　bullet；　and

fully　as　round。　　Why　not　use　it？　　Then；　as　thoughts　come　to　me　in

shoals；　I　next　reflected；　'Ahbut　this　is　only　one　bullet　as　against

sixty…eight　birds：'　immediately　a　third　thought　came；　'why　not　shoot

them　all　with　a　single　bullet？　　It　is　possible；　though　not　probable。'

I　snatched　out　a　pad　of　paper　and　a　pencil；　made　a　rapid　calculation

based　on　the　doctrine　of　chances；　and　proved　to　my　own　satisfaction

that　at　some　time　or　another　within　the　following　two　weeks　those

birds　would　doubtless　be　sitting　in　a　straight　line　and　paddling

about；　Indian　file；　for　an　instant。　　I　resolved　to　await　that

instant。　　I　loaded　my　gun　with　the　pearl　and　a　sufficient　quantity　of

powder　to　send　the　charge　through　every　one　of　the　ducks　if；

perchance；　the　first　duck　were　properly　hit。　　To　pass　over　wearisome

details；　let　me　say　that　it　happened　just　as　I　expected。　　I　had　one

week　and　six　days　to　wait；　but　finally　the　critical　moment　came。　　It

was　at　midnight；　but　fortunately　the　moon　was　at　the　full；　and　I

could　see　as　plainly　as　though　it　had　been　day。　　The　moment　the　ducks

were　in　line　I　aimed　and　fired。　　They　every　one　squawked；　turned

over；　and　died。　　My　pearl　had　pierced　the　whole　sixty…eight。〃



Boswell　blushed。



〃Ahem！〃　said　Doctor　Johnson。　　〃It　was　a　pity　to　lose　the　pearl。〃



〃That；〃　said　Munchausen；　〃was　the　most　interesting　part　of　the　story。

I　had　made　a　second　calculation　in　order　to　save　the　pearl。　　I

deduced　the　amount　of　powder　necessary　to　send　the　gem　through　sixty…

seven　and　a　half　birds；　and　my　deduction　was　strictly　accurate。　　It

fulfilled　its　mission　of　death　on　sixty…seven　and　was　found　buried　in

the　heart　of　the　sixty…eighth；　a　trifle　discolored；　but　still　a

pearl；　and　worth　a　king's　ransom。〃



Napoleon　gave　a　derisive　laugh；　and　the　other　guests　sat　with

incredulity　depicted　upon　every　line　of　their　faces。



〃Do　you　believe　that　story　yourself；　Baron？〃　asked　Confucius。



〃Why　not？〃　asked　the　Baron。　　〃Is　there　anything　improbable　in　it？

Why　should　you　disbelieve　it？　　Look　at　our　friend　Washington　here。

Is　there　any　one　here　who　knows　more　about　truth　than　he　does？　　He

doesn't　disbelieve　it。　　He's　the　only　man　at　this　table　who　treats　me

like　a　man　of　honor。〃



〃He's　host　and　has　to；〃　said　Johnson；　shrugging　his　shoulders。



〃Well；　Washington；　let　me　put　the　direct　question　to　you；〃　said　the

Baron。　　〃Say　you　aren't　host　and　are　under　no　obligation　to　be

courteous。　　Do　you　believe　I　haven't　been　telling　the　truth？〃



〃My　dear　Munchausen；〃　said　the　General；　〃don't　ask　me。　　I'm　not　an

authority。　　I　can't　tell　a　lienot　even　when　I　hear　one。　　If　you　say

your　story　is　true；　I　must　believe　it；　of　course；　butahreally；　if

I　were　you；　I　wouldn't　tell　it　again　unless　I　could　produce　the　pearl

and　the　wish…bone　of　one　of　the　ducks　at　least。〃



Whereupon；　as　the　discussion　was　beginning　to　grow　acrimonious；

Washington　hailed　Charon；　and；　ordering　a　boat；　invited　his　guests　to

accompany　him　over　into　the　world　of　realities；　where　they　passed　the

balance　of　the　evening　haunting　a　vaudeville　performance　at　one　of

the　London　music…halls。







CHAPTER　IV：　　HAMLET　MAKES　A　SUGGESTION







It　was　a　beautiful　night　on　the　Styx；　and　the　silvery　surface　of　that

picturesque　stream　was　dotted　with　gondolas；　canoes；　and　other　craft

to　an　extent　that　made　Charon　feel　like　a　highly　prosperous　savings…

bank。　　Within　the　house…boat　were　gathered　a　merry　party；　some　of

whom　were　on　mere　pleasure　bent；　others　of　whom　had　come　to　listen　to

a　debate；　for　which　the　entertainment　committee　had　provided；　between

the　venerable　patriarch　Noah　and　the　late　eminent　showman　P。　T。