the essays of montaigne, v1-第6部分

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conducted　with　such　rare　prudence　in　his　life；　should　not　be　neglected　at
present；　and　that　I　should　regret　it　if；　from　want　of　proper　counsel；　he
should　leave　anything　unsettled；　not　only　on　account　of　the　loss　to　his
family；　but　also　to　his　good　name。

He　thanked　me　for　my　kindness；　and　after　a　little　reflection；　as　if　he
was　resolving　certain　doubts　in　his　own　mind；　he　desired　me　to　summon　his
uncle　and　his　wife　by　themselves；　in　order　that　he　might　acquaint　them
with　his　testamentary　dispositions。　　I　told　him　that　this　would　shock
them。　　〃No；　no；〃　he　answered；　〃I　will　cheer　them　by　making　out　my　case　to
be　better　than　it　is。〃　　And　then　he　inquired；　whether　we　were　not　all
much　taken　by　surprise　at　his　having　fainted？　　I　replied；　that　it　was　of
no　importance；　being　incidental　to　the　complaint　from　which　he　suffered。
〃True；　my　brother；〃　said　he；　〃it　would　be　unimportant；　even　though　it
should　lead　to　what　you　most　dread。〃　　〃For　you；〃　I　rejoined；　〃it　might　be
a　happy　thing；　but　I　should　be　the　loser；　who　would　thereby　be　deprived
of　so　great；　so　wise；　and　so　steadfast　a　friend；　a　friend　whose　place　I
should　never　see　supplied。〃　　〃It　is　very　likely　you　may　not；〃　was　his
answer；　〃and　be　sure　that　one　thing　which　makes　me　somewhat　anxious　to
recover；　and　to　delay　my　journey　to　that　place；　whither　I　am　already
half…way　gone；　is　the　thought　of　the　loss　both　you　and　that　poor　man　and
woman　there　（referring　to　his　uncle　and　wife）　must　sustain；　for　I　love
them　with　my　whole　heart；　and　I　feel　certain　that　they　will　find　it　very
hard　to　lose　me。　　I　should　also　regret　it　on　account　of　such　as　have；　in
my　lifetime；　valued　me；　and　whose　conversation　I　should　like　to　have
enjoyed　a　little　longer；　and　I　beseech　you；　my　brother；　if　I　leave　the
world；　to　carry　to　them　for　me　an　assurance　of　the　esteem　I　entertained
for　them　to　the　last　moment　of　my　existence。　　My　birth　was；　moreover；
scarcely　to　so　little　purpose　but　that；　had　I　lived；　I　might　have　done
some　service　to　the　public；　but；　however　this　may　be；　I　am　prepared　to
submit　to　the　will　of　God；　when　it　shall　please　Him　to　call　me；　being
confident　of　enjoying　the　tranquillity　which　you　have　foretold　for　me。
As　for　you；　my　friend；　I　feel　sure　that　you　are　so　wise；　that　you　will
control　your　emotions；　and　submit　to　His　divine　ordinance　regarding　me；
and　I　beg　of　you　to　see　that　that　good　man　and　woman　do　not　mourn　for　my
departure　unnecessarily。〃

He　proceeded　to　inquire　how　they　behaved　at　present。　　〃Very　well；〃　said
I；　〃considering　the　circumstances。〃　　〃Ah！〃　　he　replied；　〃that　is；　so　long
as　they　do　not　abandon　all　hope　of　me；　but　when　that　shall　be　the　case；
you　will　have　a　hard　task　to　support　them。〃　　It　was　owing　to　his　strong
regard　for　his　wife　and　uncle　that　he　studiously　disguised　from　them　his
own　conviction　as　to　the　certainty　of　his　end；　and　he　prayed　me　to　do　the
same。　　When　they　were　near　him　he　assumed　an　appearance　of　gaiety；　and
flattered　them　with　hopes。　　I　then　went　to　call　them。　　They　came；　wearing
as　composed　an　air　as　possible；　and　when　we　four　were　together；　he
addressed　us；　with　an　untroubled　countenance；　as　follows：　〃Uncle　and
wife；　rest　assured　that　no　new　attack　of　my　disease；　or　fresh　doubt　that
I　have　as　to　my　recovery；　has　led　me　to　take　this　step　of　communicating
to　you　my　intentions；　for；　thank　God；　I　feel　very　well　and　hopeful；　but
taught　by　observation　and　experience　the　instability　of　all　human　things；
and　even　of　the　life　to　which　we　are　so　much　attached；　and　which　is；
nevertheless；　a　mere　bubble；　and　knowing；　moreover；　that　my　state　of
health　brings　me　more　within　the　danger　of　death；　I　have　thought　proper
to　settle　my　worldly　affairs；　having　the　benefit　of　your　advice。〃　　Then
addressing　himself　more　particularly　to　his　uncle；　〃Good　uncle；〃　said　he；
〃if　I　were　to　rehearse　all　the　obligations　under　which　I　lie　to　you；　I　am
sure　that　I　never　should　make　an　end。　　Let　me　only　say　that；　wherever　I
have　been；　and　with　whomsoever　I　have　conversed；　I　have　represented　you
as　doing　for　me　all　that　a　father　could　do　for　a　son；　both　in　the　care
with　which　you　tended　my　education；　and　in　the　zeal　with　which　you　pushed
me　forward　into　public　life；　so　that　my　whole　existence　is　a　testimony　of
your　good　offices　towards　me。　　In　short；　I　am　indebted　for　all　that　I
have　to　you；　who　have　been　to　me　as　a　parent；　and　therefore　I　have　no
right　to　part　with　anything；　unless　it　be　with　your　approval。〃

There　was　a　general　silence　hereupon；　and　his　uncle　was　prevented　from
replying　by　tears　and　sobs。　　At　last　he　said　that　whatever　he　thought　for
the　best　would　be　agreeable　to　him；　and　as　he　intended　to　make　him　his
heir；　he　was　at　liberty　to　dispose　of　what　would　be　his。

Then　he　turned　to　his　wife。　　〃My　image；〃　said　he　（for　so　he　often　called
her；　there　being　some　sort　of　relationship　between　them）；　〃since　I　have
been　united　to　you　by　marriage；　which　is　one　of　the　most　weighty　and
sacred　ties　imposed　on　us　by　God；　for　the　purpose　of　maintaining　human
society；　I　have　continued　to　love；　cherish；　and　value　you；　and　I　know
that　you　have　returned　my　affection；　for　which　I　have　no　sufficient
acknowledgment。　　I　beg　you　to　accept　such　portion　of　my　estate　as　I
bequeath　to　you；　and　be　satisfied　with　it；　though　it　is　very　inadequate
to　your　desert。〃

Afterwards　he　turned　to　me。　　〃My　brother；〃　he　began；　〃for　whom　I　have　so
entire　a　love；　and　whom　I　selected　out　of　so　large　a　number；　thinking　to
revive　with　you　that　virtuous　and　sincere　friendship　which；　owing　to　the
degeneracy　of　the　age；　has　grown　to　be　almost　unknown　to　us；　and　now
exists　only　in　certain　vestiges　of　antiquity；　I　beg　of　you；　as　a　mark　of
my　affection　to　you；　to　accept　my　library：　a　slender　offering；　but　given
with　a　cordial　will；　and　suitable　to　you；　seeing　that　you　are　fond　of
learning。　　It　will　be　a　memorial　of　your　old　companion。〃

Then　he　addressed　all　three　of　us。　　He　blessed　God　that　in　his　extremity
he　had　the　happiness　to　be　surrounded　by　those　whom　he　held　dearest　in
the　world；　and　he　looked　upon　it　as　a　fine　spectacle；　where　four　persons
were　together；　so　unanimous　in　their　feelings；　and　loving　each　other　for
each　other's　sake。　　He　commended　us　one　to　the　other；　and　proceeded　thus：
〃My　worldly　matters　being　arranged；　I　must　now　think　of　the　welfare　of　my
soul。　　I　am　a　Christian；　I　am　a　Catholic。　　I　have　lived　one；　and　I　shall
die　one。　　Send　for　a　priest；　for　I　wish　to　conform　to　this　last　Christian
obligation。〃　　He　now　concluded　his　discourse；　which　he　had　conducted　with
such　a　firm　face　and　with　so　distinct　an　utterance；　that　whereas；　when　I
first　entered　his　room；　he　was　feeble；　inarticulate　in　his　speech；　his
pulse　low　and　feverish；　and　his　features　pallid；　now；　by　a　sort　of
miracle；　he　appeared　to　have　rallied；　and　his　pulse　was　so　strong　that
for　the　sake　of　comparison；　I　asked　him　to　feel　mine。

I　felt　my　heart　so　oppressed　at　this　moment；　that　I　had　not　the　power　to
make　him　any　answer；　but　in　the　course　of　two　or　three　hours；　solicitous
to　keep　up　his　courage；　and；　likewise；　out　of　the　tenderness　which　I　had
had　all　my　life　for　his　honour　and　fame；　wishing　a　larger　number　of
witnesses　to　his　admirable　fortitude；　I　said　to　him；　how　much　I　was
ashamed　to　think　that　I　lacked　courage　to　listen　to　what　he；　so　great　a
sufferer；　had　the　courage　to　deliver；　that　down　to　the　present　time　I　had
scarcely　conceived　that　God　granted　us　such　command　over　human
infirmities；　and　had　found　a　difficulty　in　crediting　the　examples　I　had
read　in　histories；　but　that　with　such　evidence　of　the　thing　before　my
eyes；　I　gave　praise　to　God　that　it　had　shown　itself　in　one　so　excessively
dear　to　me；　and　who　loved　me　so　entirely；　and　that　his　example　would　help
me　to　act　in　a　similar　manner　when　my　turn　came。　　Interrupting　me；　he
begged　that　it　might　happen　so；　and　that　the　conversation　which　had
passed　between　us　might　not　be　mere　words；　but　might　be　impressed　deeply
on　our　minds；　to　be　put　in　exercise　at　the　first　occasion；　and　that　this
was　the　real　object　and　aim　of　all　philosophy。

He　then　took　my　hand；　and　continued：　〃Brother；　friend；　there　are　many
acts　of　my　life；　I　think；　which　have　cost　me　as　much　difficulty　as　this
one　is　likely　to　do；　and；　after　all；　I　have　been　long　prepared　for　it；
and　have　my　lesson　by　heart。　　Have　I　not　lived　long　enough？　　I　am　just
upon　thirty…three。　　By　the　grace　of　God；　my　days　so　far　have　known
nothing　but　health　and　happiness；　but　in　the　ordinary　course　of　our
unstable　human　affairs；　this　could　not　have　lasted　much　longer；　it　would
have　become　time　for　me　to　enter　on　graver　avocations；　and　I　should　thus
have　involved　myself　in　numberless　vexations；　and；　among　them；　the
troubles　of　old　age；　from　which　I　shall　now　be　exempt。　　Moreover；　it　is
probable　that　hitherto　my　life　has　been　spent　more　simply；　and　with　less
of　evil；　than
if　God　had　spared　me；　and　I　had　survived　to　feel　the　thirst　for　riches
and　worldly　prosperity。　　I　am　sure；　for　my　part；　that　I　now　go　to　God　and
the　place　of　the　blessed。〃　　He　seemed　to　detect　in　my　expression　some
inquietude　at　his　words；　and　he　exclaimed；　〃What；　my　brother；　would　you
make　me　entertain　apprehensions？　　Had　I　any；　whom　would　it　become　so　much
as　yourself　to　remove　them？〃

The　notary；　who　had　been　summoned　to　draw　up　his　will；　came　in　the
evening；　and　when　he　had　the　documents　prepared；　I　inquired　of　La　Boetie
if　he　would　sign　them。　　〃Sign　them；〃　cried　he；　〃I　will　do　so　with　my　own
hand；　but　I　could　desire　more　time；　for　I　feel　exceedingly　timid　and
weak；　and　in　a　manner　exhausted。〃　　But　when　I　was　going　to　change　the
conversation；　he　suddenly　rallied；　said　he　had　but　a　short　time　to　live；
and　asked　if　the　notary　wrote　rapidly；　for　he　should　dictate　without
making　any　pause。　　The　notary　was　called；　and　he　dictated　his　will　there
and　then　with　such　speed　that　the　man　could　scarcely　keep　up　with　him；
and　when　he　had　done；　he　asked　me　to　read　it　out；　saying　to　me；　〃What　a
good　thing　it　is　to　look　after　what　are　called　our　riches。〃　　'Sunt　haec；
quoe　hominibus　vocantur　bona'。　　As　soon　as　the　will　was　signed；　the
chamber　being　full；　he　asked　me　if　it　would　hurt　him　to　talk。　　I
answered；　that　it　would　not；　if　he　did　not　speak　too　lo