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half a life-time ago-第3部分
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done thee any harm; my pretty。〃
Willie roused himself up; and put back the wet and ruffled hair from
his heated face; and he and Susan rose up; and hand…in…hand went
towards the house; walking slowly and quietly except for a kind of
sob which Willie could not repress。 Susan took him to the pump and
washed his tear…stained face; till she thought she had obliterated
all traces of the recent disturbance; arranging his curls for him;
and then she kissed him tenderly; and led him in; hoping to find
Michael in the kitchen; and make all straight between them。 But the
blaze had dropped down into darkness; the wood was a heap of gray
ashes in which the sparks ran hither and thither; but even in the
groping darkness Susan knew by the sinking at her heart that Michael
was not there。 She threw another brand on the hearth and lighted the
candle; and sat down to her work in silence。 Willie cowered on his
stool by the side of the fire; eyeing his sister from time to time;
and sorry and oppressed; he knew not why; by the sight of her grave;
almost stern face。 No one came。 They two were in the house alone。
The old woman who helped Susan with the household work had gone out
for the night to some friend's dwelling。 William Dixon; the father;
was up on the fells seeing after his sheep。 Susan had no heart to
prepare the evening meal。
〃Susy; darling; are you angry with me?〃 said Willie; in his little
piping; gentle voice。 He had stolen up to his sister's side。 〃I
won't never play with the fire again; and I'll not cry if Michael
does kick me。 Only don't look so like dead motherdon'tdon't
please don't!〃 he exclaimed; hiding his face on her shoulder。
〃I'm not angry; Willie;〃 said she。 〃Don't be feared on me。 You want
your supper; and you shall have it; and don't you be feared on
Michael。 He shall give reason for every hair of your head that he
toucheshe shall。〃
When William Dixon came home he found Susan and Willie sitting
together; hand…in…hand; and apparently pretty cheerful。 He bade them
go to bed; for that he would sit up for Michael; and the next
morning; when Susan came down; she found that Michael had started an
hour before with the cart for lime。 It was a long day's work; Susan
knew it would be late; perhaps later than on the preceding night;
before he returnedat any rate; past her usual bed…time; and on no
account would she stop up a minute beyond that hour in the kitchen;
whatever she might do in her bed…room。 Here she sat and watched till
past midnight; and when she saw him coming up the brow with the
carts; she knew full well; even in that faint moonlight; that his
gait was the gait of a man in liquor。 But though she was annoyed and
mortified to find in what way he had chosen to forget her; the fact
did not disgust or shock her as it would have done many a girl; even
at that day; who had not been brought up as Susan had; among a class
who considered it no crime; but rather a mark of spirit; in a man to
get drunk occasionally。 Nevertheless; she chose to hold herself very
high all the next day when Michael was; perforce; obliged to give up
any attempt to do heavy work; and hung about the out…buildings and
farm in a very disconsolate and sickly state。 Willie had far more
pity on him than Susan。 Before evening; Willie and he were fast;
and; on his side; ostentatious friends。 Willie rode the horses down
to water; Willie helped him to chop wood。 Susan sat gloomily at her
work; hearing an indistinct but cheerful conversation going on in the
shippon; while the cows were being milked。 She almost felt irritated
with her little brother; as if he were a traitor; and had gone over
to the enemy in the very battle that she was fighting in his cause。
She was alone with no one to speak to; while they prattled on
regardless if she were glad or sorry。
Soon Willie burst in。 〃Susan! Susan! come with me; I've something
so pretty to show you。 Round the corner of the barnrun! run!〃 (He
was dragging her along; half reluctant; half desirous of some change
in that weary day。 Round the corner of the barn; and caught hold of
by Michael; who stood there awaiting her。
〃O Willie!〃 cried she 〃you naughty boy。 There is nothing pretty
what have you brought me here for? Let me go; I won't be held。〃
〃Only one word。 Nay; if you wish it so much; you may go;〃 said
Michael; suddenly loosing his hold as she struggled。 But now she was
free; she only drew off a step or two; murmuring something about
Willie。
〃You are going; then?〃 said Michael; with seeming sadness。 〃You
won't hear me say a word of what is in my heart。〃
〃How can I tell whether it is what I should like to hear?〃 replied
she; still drawing back。
〃That is just what I want you to tell me; I want you to hear it and
then to tell me whether you like it or not。〃
〃Well; you may speak;〃 replied she; turning her back; and beginning
to plait the hem of her apron。
He came close to her ear。
〃I'm sorry I hurt Willie the other night。 He has forgiven me。 Can
you?〃
〃You hurt him very badly;〃 she replied。 〃But you are right to be
sorry。 I forgive you。〃
〃Stop; stop!〃 said he; laying his hand upon her arm。 〃There is
something more I've got to say。 I want you to be mywhat is it they
call it; Susan?〃
〃I don't know;〃 said she; half…laughing; but trying to get away with
all her might now; and she was a strong girl; but she could not
manage it。
〃You do。 Mywhat is it I want you to be?〃
〃I tell you I don't know; and you had best be quiet; and just let me
go in; or I shall think you're as bad now as you were last night。〃
〃And how did you know what I was last night? It was past twelve when
I came home。 Were you watching? Ah; Susan! be my wife; and you
shall never have to watch for a drunken husband。 If I were your
husband; I would come straight home; and count every minute an hour
till I saw your bonny face。 Now you know what I want you to be。 I
ask you to be my wife。 Will you; my own dear Susan?〃
She did not speak for some time。 Then she only said 〃Ask father。〃
And now she was really off like a lapwing round the corner of the
barn; and up in her own little room; crying with all her might;
before the triumphant smile had left Michael's face where he stood。
The 〃Ask father〃 was a mere form to be gone though。 Old Daniel Hurst
and William Dixon had talked over what they could respectively give
their children before this; and that was the parental way of
arranging such matters。 When the probable amount of worldly gear
that he could give his child had been named by each father; the young
folk; as they said; might take their own time in coming to the point
which the old men; with the prescience of experience; saw they were
drifting to; no need to hurry them; for they were both young; and
Michael; though active enough; was too thoughtless; old Daniel said;
to be trusted with the entire management of a farm。 Meanwhile; his
father would look about him; and see after all the farms that were to
be let。
Michael had a shrewd notion of this preliminary understanding between
the fathers; and so felt less daunted than he might otherwise have
done at making the application for Susan's hand。 It was all right;
there was not an obstacle; only a deal of good advice; which the
lover thought might have as well been spared; and which it must be
confessed he did not much attend to; although he assented to every
part of it。 Then Susan was called down stairs; and slowly came
dropping into view down the steps which led from the two family
apartments into the house…place。 She tried to look composed and
quiet; but it could not be done。 She stood side by side with her
lover; with her head drooping; her cheeks burning; not daring to look
up or move; while her father made the newly…betrothed a somewhat
formal address in which he gave his consent; and many a piece of
worldly wisdom beside。 Susan listened as well as she could for the
beating of her heart; but when her father solemnly and sadly referred
to his own lost wife; she could keep from sobbing no longer; but
throwing her apron over her face; she sat down on the bench by the
dresser; and fairly gave way to pent…up tears。 Oh; how strangely
sweet to be comforted as she was comforted; by tender caress; and
many a low…whispered promise of love! Her father sat by the fire;
thinking of the days that were gone; Willie was still out of doors;
but Susan and Michael felt no one's presence or absencethey only
knew they were together as betrothed husband and wife。
In a week; or two; they were formally told of the arrangements to be
made in their favour。 A small farm in the neighbourhood happened to
fall vacant; and Michael's father offered to take it for him; and be
responsible for the rent for the first year; while William Dixon was
to contribute a certain amount of stock; and both fathers were to
help towards the furnishing of the house。 Susan received all this
information in a quiet; indifferent way; she did not care much for
any of these preparations; which were to hurry her through the happy
hours; she cared least of all for the money amount of dowry and of
substance。 It jarred on her to be made the confidante of occasional
slight repinings of Michael's; as one by one his future father…in…law
set aside a beast or a pig for Susan's portion; which were not always
the best animals of their kind upon the farm。 But he also complained
of his own father's stinginess; which somewhat; though not much;
alleviated Susan's dislike to being awakened out of her pure dream of
love to the consideration of worldly wealth。
But in the midst of all this bustle; Willie moped and pined。 He had
the same chord of delicacy running through his mind that made his
body feeble and weak。 He kept out of the way; and was apparently
occupied in whittling and c
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