half a life-time ago-第6部分

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state。　　Michael　had　long　felt　the　boy　to　be　a　trouble；　but　of　late　he

had　absolutely　loathed　him。　　His　gibbering；　his　uncouth　gestures；　his

loose；　shambling　gait；　all　irritated　Michael　inexpressibly。　　He　did

not　come　near　the　Yew　Nook　for　a　couple　of　days。　　He　thought　that　he

would　leave　her　time　to　become　anxious　to　see　him　and　reconciled　to

his　plan。　　They　were　strange　lonely　days　to　Susan。　　They　were　the

first　she　had　spent　face　to　face　with　the　sorrows　that　had　turned　her

from　a　girl　into　a　woman；　for　hitherto　Michael　had　never　let　twenty…

four　hours　pass　by　without　coming　to　see　her　since　she　had　had　the

fever。　　Now　that　he　was　absent；　it　seemed　as　though　some　cause　of

irritation　was　removed　from　Will；　who　was　much　more　gentle　and

tractable　than　he　had　been　for　many　weeks。　　Susan　thought　that　she

observed　him　making　efforts　at　her　bidding；　and　there　was　something

piteous　in　the　way　in　which　he　crept　up　to　her；　and　looked　wistfully

in　her　face；　as　if　asking　her　to　restore　him　the　faculties　that　he

felt　to　be　wanting。



〃I　never　will　let　thee　go；　lad。　　Never！　　There's　no　knowing　where

they　would　take　thee　to；　or　what　they　would　do　with　thee。　　As　it　says

in　the　Bible；　'Nought　but　death　shall　part　thee　and　me！'〃



The　country…side　was　full；　in　those　days；　of　stories　of　the　brutal

treatment　offered　to　the　insane；　stories　that　were；　in　fact；　but　too

well　founded；　and　the　truth　of　one　of　which　only　would　have　been　a

sufficient　reason　for　the　strong　prejudice　existing　against　all　such

places。　　Each　succeeding　hour　that　Susan　passed；　alone；　or　with　the

poor　affectionate　lad　for　her　sole　companion；　served　to　deepen　her

solemn　resolution　never　to　part　with　him。　　So；　when　Michael　came；　he

was　annoyed　and　surprised　by　the　calm　way　in　which　she　spoke；　as　if

following　Dr。　Preston's　advice　was　utterly　and　entirely　out　of　the

question。　　He　had　expected　nothing　less　than　a　consent；　reluctant　it

might　be；　but　still　a　consent；　and　he　was　extremely　irritated。　　He

could　have　repressed　his　anger；　but　he　chose　rather　to　give　way　to

it；　thinking　that　he　could　thus　best　work　upon　Susan's　affection；　so

as　to　gain　his　point。　　But；　somehow；　he　over…reached　himself；　and　now

he　was　astonished　in　his　turn　at　the　passion　of　indignation　that　she

burst　into。



〃Thou　wilt　not　bide　in　the　same　house　with　him；　say'st　thou？　　There's

no　need　for　thy　biding；　as　far　as　I　can　tell。　　There's　solemn　reason

why　I　should　bide　with　my　own　flesh　and　blood　and　keep　to　the　word　I

pledged　my　mother　on　her　death…bed；　but；　as　for　thee；　there's　no　tie

that　I　know　on　to　keep　thee　fro'　going　to　America　or　Botany　Bay　this

very　night；　if　that　were　thy　inclination。　　I　will　have　no　more　of

your　threats　to　make　me　send　my　bairn　away。　　If　thou　marry　me；

thou'lt　help　me　to　take　charge　of　Willie。　　If　thou　doesn't　choose　to

marry　me　on　those　termswhy；　I　can　snap　my　fingers　at　thee；　never

fear。　　I'm　not　so　far　gone　in　love　as　that。　　But　I　will　not　have

thee；　if　thou　say'st　in　such　a　hectoring　way　that　Willie　must　go　out

of　the　houseand　the　house　his　own　toobefore　thoul't　set　foot　in

it。　　Willie　bides　here；　and　I　bide　with　him。〃



〃Thou　hast　may…be　spoken　a　word　too　much；〃　said　Michael；　pale　with

rage。　　〃If　I　am　free；　as　thou　say'st；　to　go　to　Canada；　or　Botany　Bay；

I　reckon　I'm　free　to　live　where　I　like；　and　that　will　not　be　with　a

natural　who　may　turn　into　a　madman　some　day；　for　aught　I　know。

Choose　between　him　and　me；　Susy；　for　I　swear　to　thee；　thou　shan't

have　both。〃



〃I　have　chosen；〃　said　Susan；　now　perfectly　composed　and　still。

〃Whatever　comes　of　it；　I　bide　with　Willie。〃



〃Very　well；〃　replied　Michael；　trying　to　assume　an　equal　composure　of

manner。　　〃Then　I'll　wish　you　a　very　good　night。〃　　He　went　out　of　the

house　door；　half…expecting　to　be　called　back　again；　but；　instead；　he

heard　a　hasty　step　inside；　and　a　bolt　drawn。



〃Whew！〃　said　he　to　himself；　〃I　think　I　must　leave　my　lady　alone　for　a

week　or　two；　and　give　her　time　to　come　to　her　senses。　　She'll　not

find　it　so　easy　as　she　thinks　to　let　me　go。〃



So　he　went　past　the　kitchen…window　in　nonchalant　style；　and　was　not

seen　again　at　Yew　Nook　for　some　weeks。　　How　did　he　pass　the　time？

For　the　first　day　or　two；　he　was　unusually　cross　with　all　things　and

people　that　came　athwart　him。　　Then　wheat…harvest　began；　and　he　was

busy；　and　exultant　about　his　heavy　crop。　　Then　a　man　came　from　a

distance　to　bid　for　the　lease　of　his　farm；　which；　by　his　father's

advice；　had　been　offered　for　sale；　as　he　himself　was　so　soon　likely

to　remove　to　the　Yew　Nook。　　He　had　so　little　idea　that　Susan　really

would　remain　firm　to　her　determination；　that　he　at　once　began　to

haggle　with　the　man　who　came　after　his　farm；　showed　him　the　crop　just

got　in；　and　managed　skilfully　enough　to　make　a　good　bargain　for

himself。　　Of　course；　the　bargain　had　to　be　sealed　at　the　public…

house；　and　the　companions　he　met　with　there　soon　became　friends

enough　to　tempt　him　into　Langdale；　where　again　he　met　with　Eleanor

Hebthwaite。



How　did　Susan　pass　the　time？　　For　the　first　day　or　so；　she　was　too

angry　and　offended　to　cry。　　She　went　about　her　household　duties　in　a

quick；　sharp；　jerking；　yet　absent　way；　shrinking　one　moment　from

Will；　overwhelming　him　with　remorseful　caresses　the　next。　　The　third

day　of　Michael's　absence；　she　had　the　relief　of　a　good　fit　of　crying；

and　after　that；　she　grew　softer　and　more　tender；　she　felt　how　harshly

she　had　spoken　to　him；　and　remembered　how　angry　she　had　been。　　She

made　excuses　for　him。　　〃It　was　no　wonder；〃　she　said　to　herself；　〃that

he　had　been　vexed　with　her；　and　no　wonder　he　would　not　give　in；　when

she　had　never　tried　to　speak　gently　or　to　reason　with　him。　　She　was

to　blame；　and　she　would　tell　him　so；　and　tell　him　once　again　all　that

her　mother　had　bade　her　to　be　to　Willie；　and　all　the　horrible　stories

she　had　heard　about　madhouses；　and　he　would　be　on　her　side　at　once。〃



And　so　she　watched　for　his　coming；　intending　to　apologise　as　soon　as

ever　she　saw　him。　　She　hurried　over　her　household　work；　in　order　to

sit　quietly　at　her　sewing；　and　hear　the　first　distant　sound　of　his

well…known　step　or　whistle。　　But　even　the　sound　of　her　flying　needle

seemed　too　loudperhaps　she　was　losing　an　exquisite　instant　of

anticipation；　so　she　stopped　sewing；　and　looked　longingly　out　through

the　geranium　leaves；　in　order　that　her　eye　might　catch　the　first　stir

of　the　branches　in　the　wood…path　by　which　he　generally　came。　　Now　and

then　a　bird　might　spring　out　of　the　covert；　otherwise　the　leaves　were

heavily　still　in　the　sultry　weather　of　early　autumn。　　Then　she　would

take　up　her　sewing；　and；　with　a　spasm　of　resolution；　she　would

determine　that　a　certain　task　should　be　fulfilled　before　she　would

again　allow　herself　the　poignant　luxury　of　expectation。　　Sick　at

heart　was　she　when　the　evening　closed　in；　and　the　chances　of　that　day

diminished。　　Yet　she　stayed　up　longer　than　usual；　thinking　that　if　he

were　comingif　he　were　only　passing　along　the　distant　roadthe

sight　of　a　light　in　the　window　might　encourage　him　to　make　his

appearance　even　at　that　late　hour；　while　seeing　the　house　all

darkened　and　shut　up　might　quench　any　such　intention。



Very　sick　and　weary　at　heart；　she　went　to　bed；　too　desolate　and

despairing　to　cry；　or　make　any　moan。　　But　in　the　morning　hope　came

afresh。　　Another　dayanother　chance！　　And　so　it　went　on　for　weeks。

Peggy　understood　her　young　mistress's　sorrow　full　well；　and　respected

it　by　her　silence　on　the　subject。　　Willie　seemed　happier　now　that　the

irritation　of　Michael's　presence　was　removed；　for　the　poor　idiot　had

a　sort　of　antipathy　to　Michael；　which　was　a　kind　of　heart's　echo　to

the　repugnance　in　which　the　latter　held　him。　　Altogether；　just　at

this　time；　Willie　was　the　happiest　of　the　three。



As　Susan　went　into　Coniston；　to　sell　her　butter；　one　Saturday；　some

inconsiderate　person　told　her　that　she　had　seen　Michael　Hurst　the

night　before。　　I　said　inconsiderate；　but　I　might　rather　have　said

unobservant；　for　any　one　who　had　spent　half…an…hour　in　Susan　Dixon's

company　might　have　seen　that　she　disliked　having　any　reference　made

to　the　subjects　nearest　her　heart；　were　they　joyous　or　grievous。　　Now

she　went　a　little　paler　than　usual　（and　she　had　never　recovered　her

colour　since　she　had　had　the　fever）；　and　tried　to　keep　silence。　　But

an　irrepressible　pang　forced　out　the　question　…



〃Where？〃



〃At　Thomas　Applethwaite's；　in　Langdale。　　They　had　a　kind　of　harvest…

home；　and　he　were　there　among　the　young　folk；　and　very　thick　wi'

Nelly　Hebthwaite；　old　Thomas's　niece。　　Thou'lt　have　to　look　after　him

a　bit；　Susan！〃



She　neither　smiled　nor　sighed。　　The　neighbour　who　had　been　speaking

to　her　was　struck　with　the　gray　stillness　of　her　face。　　Susan　herself

felt　how　well　her　self…command　was　obeyed　by　every　little　muscle；　and

said　to　herself　in　her　Spartan　manner；　〃I　can　bear　it　without　either

wincing　or　blenching。〃　　She　went　home　early；　at　a　tearing；　passionate

pace；　trampling　and　breaking　through　all　obstacles　of　briar　or　bush。

Willie　was　moping　in　her　absencehanging　listlessly　on　the　farm…yard

gate　to　watch　for　her。　　When　he　saw　her；　he　set　up　one　of　his

strange；　inarticulate　cries；　of　which　she　was　now　learning　the

meaning；　and　came　towards　her　with　his　loose；　galloping　run；　head　and

limbs　all　shaking　and　wagging　with　pleasant　excitement。　　Suddenly　she

turned　from　him；　and　burst　into　tears。　　She　sat　down　on　a　stone　by

the　wayside；　not　a　hundred　yards　from　home；　and　buried　her　face　in

her　hands；　and　gave　way　to　a　passion　of　pent…up　sorrow；　so　terrible

and　full　of　agony　were　her　low　cries；　that　the　idiot　stood　by　her；

aghast　and　silent。　　All　his　joy　gone　for　the　time；　but　not；　like　her

joy；　turned　into　ashes。　　Some　thought　struck　him。　　Yes！　the　sight　of

her　woe　made　him　think；　great　as　the　exertion　was。　　He　ran；　and

stumbled；　and　shambled　home；　buzzing　with　his　lips　all　the　time。　　She

never　missed　him。　　He