a second home-第13部分

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〃Then　I　may　thank　God；〃　said　the　Countess；　〃for　vouchsafing　to　use　you　as　the　messenger　of　His　will；　and　thus；　as　ever；　setting　the　treasures　of　mercy　by　the　side　of　the　scourges　of　His　wrath；　just　as　in　bygone　days　He　showed　a　spring　to　Hagar　when　He　had　driven　her　into　the　desert。〃

〃He　measures　your　sufferings　by　the　strength　of　your　resignation　and　the　weight　of　your　sins。〃

〃Speak；　I　am　ready　to　hear！〃　As　she　said　it　she　cast　her　eyes　up　to　heaven。　〃Speak；　Monsieur　Fontanon。〃

〃For　seven　years　Monsieur　Granville　has　lived　in　sin　with　a　concubine；　by　whom　he　has　two　children；　and　on　this　adulterous　connection　he　has　spent　more　than　five　hundred　thousand　francs；　which　ought　to　have　been　the　property　of　his　legitimate　family。〃

〃I　must　see　it　to　believe　it！〃　cried　the　Countess。

〃Far　be　it　from　you！〃　exclaimed　the　Abbe。　〃You　must　forgive；　my　daughter；　and　wait　in　patience　and　prayer　till　God　enlightens　your　husband；　unless；　indeed；　you　choose　to　adopt　against　him　the　means　offered　you　by　human　laws。〃

The　long　conversation　that　ensued　between　the　priest　and　his　penitent　resulted　in　an　extraordinary　change　in　the　Countess；　she　abruptly　dismissed　him；　called　her　servants　who　were　alarmed　at　her　flushed　face　and　crazy　energy。　She　ordered　her　carriagecountermanded　it　changed　her　mind　twenty　times　in　the　hour；　but　at　last；　at　about　three　o'clock；　as　if　she　had　come　to　some　great　determination；　she　went　out；　leaving　the　whole　household　in　amazement　at　such　a　sudden　transformation。

〃Is　the　Count　coming　home　to　dinner？〃　she　asked　of　his　servant；　to　whom　she　would　never　speak。

〃No；　madame。〃

〃Did　you　go　with　him　to　the　Courts　this　morning？〃

〃Yes；　madame。〃

〃And　to…day　is　Monday？〃

〃Yes；　madame。〃

〃Then　do　the　Courts　sit　on　Mondays　nowadays？〃

〃Devil　take　you！〃　cried　the　man；　as　his　mistress　drove　off　after　saying　to　the　coachman：

〃Rue　Taitbout。〃



Mademoiselle　de　Bellefeuille　was　weeping：　Roger；　sitting　by　her　side；　held　one　of　her　hands　between　his　own。　He　was　silent；　looking　by　turns　at　little　Charleswho；　not　understanding　his　mother's　grief；　stood　speechless　at　the　sight　of　her　tearsat　the　cot　where　Eugenie　lay　sleeping；　and　Caroline's　face；　on　which　grief　had　the　effect　of　rain　falling　across　the　beams　of　cheerful　sunshine。

〃Yes；　my　darling；〃　said　Roger；　after　a　long　silence；　〃that　is　the　great　secret：　I　am　married。　But　some　day　I　hope　we　may　form　but　one　family。　My　wife　has　been　given　over　ever　since　last　March。　I　do　not　wish　her　dead；　still；　if　it　should　please　God　to　take　her　to　Himself；　I　believe　she　will　be　happier　in　Paradise　than　in　a　world　to　whose　griefs　and　pleasures　she　is　equally　indifferent。〃

〃How　I　hate　that　woman！　How　could　she　bear　to　make　you　unhappy？　And　yet　it　is　to　that　unhappiness　that　I　owe　my　happiness！〃

Her　tears　suddenly　ceased。

〃Caroline；　let　us　hope；〃　cried　Roger。　〃Do　not　be　frightened　by　anything　that　priest　may　have　said　to　you。　Though　my　wife's　confessor　is　a　man　to　be　feared　for　his　power　in　the　congregation；　if　he　should　try　to　blight　our　happiness　I　would　find　means〃

〃What　could　you　do？〃

〃We　would　go　to　Italy：　I　would　fly〃

A　shriek　that　rang　out　from　the　adjoining　room　made　Roger　start　and　Mademoiselle　de　Bellefeuille　quake；　but　she　rushed　into　the　drawing…　room；　and　there　found　Madame　de　Granville　in　a　dead　faint。　When　the　Countess　recovered　her　senses；　she　sighed　deeply　on　finding　herself　supported　by　the　Count　and　her　rival；　whom　she　instinctively　pushed　away　with　a　gesture　of　contempt。　Mademoiselle　de　Bellefeuille　rose　to　withdraw。

〃You　are　at　home；　madame；〃　said　Granville；　taking　Caroline　by　the　arm。　〃Stay。〃

The　Judge　took　up　his　wife　in　his　arms；　carried　her　to　the　carriage；　and　got　into　it　with　her。

〃Who　is　it　that　has　brought　you　to　the　point　of　wishing　me　dead；　of　resolving　to　fly？〃　asked　the　Countess；　looking　at　her　husband　with　grief　mingled　with　indignation。　〃Was　I　not　young？　you　thought　me　prettywhat　fault　have　you　to　find　with　me？　Have　I　been　false　to　you？　Have　I　not　been　a　virtuous　and　well…conducted　wife？　My　heart　has　cherished　no　image　but　yours；　my　ears　have　listened　to　no　other　voice。　What　duty　have　I　failed　in？　What　have　I　ever　denied　you？〃

〃Happiness；　madame；〃　said　the　Count　severely。　〃You　know；　madame；　that　there　are　two　ways　of　serving　God。　Some　Christians　imagine　that　by　going　to　church　at　fixed　hours　to　say　a　/Paternoster/；　by　attending　Mass　regularly　and　avoiding　sin；　they　may　win　heavenbut　they；　madame；　will　go　to　hell；　they　have　not　loved　God　for　himself；　they　have　not　worshiped　Him　as　He　chooses　to　be　worshiped；　they　have　made　no　sacrifice。　Though　mild　in　seeming；　they　are　hard　on　their　neighbors；　they　see　the　law；　the　letter；　not　the　spirit。This　is　how　you　have　treated　me；　your　earthly　husband；　you　have　sacrificed　my　happiness　to　your　salvation；　you　were　always　absorbed　in　prayer　when　I　came　to　you　in　gladness　of　heart；　you　wept　when　you　should　have　cheered　my　toil；　you　have　never　tried　to　satisfy　any　demands　I　have　made　on　you。〃

〃And　if　they　were　wicked；〃　cried　the　Countess　hotly；　〃was　I　to　lose　my　soul　to　please　you？〃

〃It　is　a　sacrifice　which　another；　a　more　loving　woman；　has　dared　to　make；〃　said　Granville　coldly。

〃Dear　God！〃　she　cried；　bursting　into　tears；　〃Thou　hearest！　Has　he　been　worthy　of　the　prayers　and　penance　I　have　lived　in；　wearing　myself　out　to　atone　for　his　sins　and　my　own？Of　what　avail　is　virtue？〃

〃To　win　Heaven；　my　dear。　A　woman　cannot　be　at　the　same　time　the　wife　of　a　man　and　the　spouse　of　Christ。　That　would　be　bigamy；　she　must　choose　between　a　husband　and　a　nunnery。　For　the　sake　of　future　advantage　you　have　stripped　your　soul　of　all　the　love；　all　the　devotion；　which　God　commands　that　you　should　have　for　me；　you　have　cherished　no　feeling　but　hatred〃

〃Have　I　not　loved　you？〃　she　put　in。

〃No；　madame。〃

〃Then　what　is　love？〃　the　Countess　involuntarily　inquired。

〃Love；　my　dear；〃　replied　Granville；　with　a　sort　of　ironical　surprise；　〃you　are　incapable　of　understanding　it。　The　cold　sky　of　Normandy　is　not　that　of　Spain。　This　difference　of　climate　is　no　doubt　the　secret　of　our　disaster。To　yield　to　our　caprices；　to　guess　them；　to　find　pleasure　in　pain；　to　sacrifice　the　world's　opinion；　your　pride；　your　religion　even；　and　still　regard　these　offerings　as　mere　grains　of　incense　burnt　in　honor　of　the　idolthat　is　love〃

〃The　love　of　ballet…girls！〃　cried　the　Countess　in　horror。　〃Such　flames　cannot　last；　and　must　soon　leave　nothing　but　ashes　and　cinders；　regret　or　despair。　A　wife　ought；　in　my　opinion；　to　bring　you　true　friendship；　equable　warmth〃

〃You　speak　of　warmth　as　negroes　speak　of　ice；〃　retorted　the　Count；　with　a　sardonic　smile。　〃Consider　that　the　humblest　daisy　has　more　charms　than　the　proudest　and　most　gorgeous　of　the　red　hawthorns　that　attract　us　in　spring　by　their　strong　scent　and　brilliant　color。At　the　same　time；〃　he　went　on；　〃I　will　do　you　justice。　You　have　kept　so　precisely　in　the　straight　path　of　imaginary　duty　prescribed　by　law；　that　only　to　make　you　understand　wherein　you　have　failed　towards　me；　I　should　be　obliged　to　enter　into　details　which　would　offend　your　dignity；　and　instruct　you　in　matters　which　would　seem　to　you　to　undermine　all　morality。〃

〃And　you　dare　to　speak　of　morality　when　you　have　but　just　left　the　house　where　you　have　dissipated　your　children's　fortune　in　debaucheries？〃　cried　the　Countess；　maddened　by　her　husband's　reticence。

〃There；　madame；　I　must　correct　you；〃　said　the　Count；　coolly　interrupting　his　wife。　〃Though　Mademoiselle　de　Bellefeuille　is　rich；　it　is　at　nobody's　expense。　My　uncle　was　master　of　his　fortune；　and　had　several　heirs。　In　his　lifetime；　and　out　of　pure　friendship；　regarding　her　as　his　niece；　he　gave　her　the　little　estate　of　Bellefeuille。　As　for　anything　else；　I　owe　it　to　his　liberality〃

〃Such　conduct　is　only　worthy　of　a　Jacobin！〃　said　the　sanctimonious　Angelique。

〃Madame；　you　are　forgetting　that　your　own　father　was　one　of　the　Jacobins　whom　you　scorn　so　uncharitably；〃　said　the　Count　severely。　〃Citizen　Bontems　was　signing　death…warrants　at　a　time　when　my　uncle　was　doing　France　good　service。〃

Madame　de　Granville　was　silenced。　But　after　a　short　pause；　the　remembrance　of　what　she　had　just　seen　reawakened　in　her　soul　the　jealousy　which　nothing　can　kill　in　a　woman's　heart；　and　she　murmured；　as　if　to　herself〃How　can　a　woman　thus　destroy　her　own　soul　and　that　of　others？〃

〃Bless　me；　madame；〃　replied　the　Count；　tired　of　this　dialogue；　〃you　yourself　may　some　day　have　to　answer　that　question。〃　The　Countess　was　scared。　〃You　perhaps　will　be　held　excused　by　the　merciful　Judge；　who　will　weigh　our　sins；〃　he　went　on；　〃in　consideration　of　the　conviction　with　which　you　have　worked　out　my　misery。　I　do　not　hate　youI　hate　those　who　have　perverted　your　heart　and　your　reason。　You　have　prayed　for　me；　just　as　Mademoiselle　de　Bellefeuille　has　given　me　her　heart　and　crowned　my　life　with　love。　You　should　have　been　my　mistress　and　the　prayerful　saint　by　turns。Do　me　the　justice　to　confess　that　I　am　no　reprobate；　no　debauchee。　My　life　was　cleanly。　Alas！　after　seven　years　of　wretchedness；　the　craving　for　happiness　led　me　by　an　imperceptible　descent　to　love　another　woman　and　make　a　second　home。　And　do　not　imagine　that　I　am　singular；　there　are　in　this　city　thousands　of　husbands；　all　led　by　various　causes　to　live　this　twofold　life。〃

〃Great　God！〃　cried　the　Countess。　〃How　heavy　is　the　cross　Thou　hast　laid　on　me　to　bear！　If　the　husband　Thou　hast　given　me　here　below　in　Thy　wrath　can　only　be　made　happy　through　my　death；　take　me　to　Thyself！〃

〃If　you　had　always　breathed　such　admirable　sentiments　and　such　devotion；　we　should　be　happy　yet；〃　said　the　Count　coldly。

〃Indeed；〃　cried　Angelique；　melting　into　a　flood　of　tears；　〃forgive　me　if　I　have　done　any　wrong。　Yes；　monsieur；　I　am　ready　to　obey　you　in　all　things；　feeling　sure　that　you　will　desire　nothing　but　what　is　just　and　natural；　henceforth　I　will　be　all　you　can　wish　your　wife　to　be。〃

〃If　your　purpose；　madame；　is　to　compel　me　to　say　that　I　no　longer　love　you；　I　shall　find　the　cruel　courage　to　tell　you　so。　Can　I　command　my　heart？　Can　I　wipe　out　in　an　instant　the　traces　of　fifteen　years　of　suffering？I　have　ceased　to　love。These　words　contain　a　mystery　as　deep　as　lies　the　words　/I　love/。　Esteem；　respect；　fri