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05-behavior-第3部分
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secret; just what happens to every two persons who meet on any
affair; one instantly perceives that he has the key of the
situation; that his will comprehends the other's will; as the cat
does the mouse; and he has only to use courtesy; and furnish
good…natured reasons to his victim to cover up the chain; lest he be
shamed into resistance。
The theatre in which this science of manners has a formal
importance is not with us a court; but dress…circles; wherein; after
the close of the day's business; men and women meet at leisure; for
mutual entertainment; in ornamented drawing…rooms。 Of course; it has
every variety of attraction and merit; but; to earnest persons; to
youths or maidens who have great objects at heart; we cannot extol it
highly。 A well…dressed; talkative company; where each is bent to
amuse the other; yet the high…born Turk who came hither fancied
that every woman seemed to be suffering for a chair; that all the
talkers were brained and exhausted by the deoxygenated air: it
spoiled the best persons: it put all on stilts。 Yet here are the
secret biographies written and read。 The aspect of that man is
repulsive; I do not wish to deal with him。 The other is irritable;
shy; and on his guard。 The youth looks humble and manly: I choose
him。 Look on this woman。 There is not beauty; nor brilliant
sayings; nor distinguished power to serve you; but all see her
gladly; her whole air and impression are healthful。 Here come the
sentimentalists; and the invalids。 Here is Elise; who caught cold in
coming into the world; and has always increased it since。 Here are
creep…mouse manners; and thievish manners。 〃Look at Northcote;〃 said
Fuseli; 〃he looks like a rat that has seen a cat。〃 In the shallow
company; easily excited; easily tired; here is the columnar Bernard:
the Alleghanies do not express more repose than his behavior。 Here
are the sweet following eyes of Cecile: it seemed always that she
demanded the heart。 Nothing can be more excellent in kind than the
Corinthian grace of Gertrude's manners; and yet Blanche; who has no
manners; has better manners than she; for the movements of Blanche
are the sallies of a spirit which is sufficient for the moment; and
she can afford to express every thought by instant action。
Manners have been somewhat cynically defined to be a
contrivance of wise men to keep fools at a distance。 Fashion is
shrewd to detect those who do not belong to her train; and seldom
wastes her attentions。 Society is very swift in its instincts; and;
if you do not belong to it; resists and sneers at you; or quietly
drops you。 The first weapon enrages the party attacked; the second
is still more effective; but is not to be resisted; as the date of
the transaction is not easily found。 People grow up and grow old
under this infliction; and never suspect the truth; ascribing the
solitude which acts on them very injuriously; to any cause but the
right one。
The basis of good manners is self…reliance。 Necessity is the
law of all who are not self…possessed。 Those who are not
self…possessed; obtrude; and pain us。 Some men appear to feel that
they belong to a Pariah caste。 They fear to offend; they bend and
apologize; and walk through life with a timid step。 As we sometimes
dream that we are in a well…dressed company without any coat; so
Godfrey acts ever as if he suffered from some mortifying
circumstance。 The hero should find himself at home; wherever he is:
should impart comfort by his own security and good…nature to all
beholders。 The hero is suffered to be himself。 A person of strong
mind comes to perceive that for him an immunity is secured so long as
he renders to society that service which is native and proper to him;
an immunity from all the observances; yea; and duties; which
society so tyrannically imposes on the rank and file of its members。
〃Euripides;〃 says Aspasia; 〃has not the fine manners of Sophocles;
but;〃 she adds good…humoredly; 〃the movers and masters of our
souls have surely a right to throw out their limbs as carelessly as
they please; on the world that belongs to them; and before the
creatures they have animated。〃 (*)
(*) Landor: _Pericles and Aspasia_。
Manners require time; as nothing is more vulgar than haste。
Friendship should be surrounded with ceremonies and respects; and not
crushed into corners。 Friendship requires more time than poor busy
men can usually command。 Here comes to me Roland; with a delicacy of
sentiment leading and inwrapping him like a divine cloud or holy
ghost。 'Tis a great destitution to both that this should not be
entertained with large leisures; but contrariwise should be balked by
importunate affairs。
But through this lustrous varnish; the reality is ever shining。
'Tis hard to keep the _what_ from breaking through this pretty
painting of the _how_。 The core will come to the surface。 Strong
will and keen perception overpower old manners; and create new; and
the thought of the present moment has a greater value than all the
past。 In persons of character; we do not remark manners; because of
their instantaneousness。 We are surprised by the thing done; out of
all power to watch the way of it。 Yet nothing is more charming than
to recognize the great style which runs through the actions of such。
People masquerade before us in their fortunes; titles; offices; and
connections; as academic or civil presidents; or senators; or
professors; or great lawyers; and impose on the frivolous; and a good
deal on each other; by these fames。 At least; it is a point of
prudent good manners to treat these reputations tenderly; as if they
were merited。 But the sad realist knows these fellows at a glance;
and they know him; as when in Paris the chief of the police enters a
ballroom; so many diamonded pretenders shrink and make themselves as
inconspicuous as they can; or give him a supplicating look as they
pass。 〃I had received;〃 said a sibyl; 〃I had received at birth the
fatal gift of penetration:〃 and these Cassandras are always born。
Manners impress as they indicate real power。 A man who is sure
of his point; carries a broad and contented expression; which
everybody reads。 And you cannot rightly train one to an air and
manner; except by making him the kind of man of whom that manner is
the natural expression。 Nature forever puts a premium on reality。
What is done for effect; is seen to be done for effect; what is done
for love; is felt to be done for love。 A man inspires affection and
honor; because he was not lying in wait for these。 The things of a
man for which we visit him; were done in the dark and the cold。 A
little integrity is better than any career。 So deep are the sources
of this surface…action; that even the size of your companion seems to
vary with his freedom of thought。 Not only is he larger; when at
ease; and his thoughts generous; but everything around him becomes
variable with expression。 No carpenter's rule; no rod and chain;
will measure the dimensions of any house or house…lot: go into the
house: if the proprietor is constrained and deferring; 'tis of no
importance how large his house; how beautiful his grounds; you
quickly come to the end of all: but if the man is self…possessed;
happy; and at home; his house is deep…founded; indefinitely large and
interesting; the roof and dome buoyant as the sky。 Under the
humblest roof; the commonest person in plain clothes sits there
massive; cheerful; yet formidable like the Egyptian colossi。
Neither Aristotle; nor Leibnitz; nor Junius; nor Champollion
has set down the grammar…rules of this dialect; older than Sanscrit;
but they who cannot yet read English; can read this。 Men take each
other's measure; when they meet for the first time; and every time
they meet。 How do they get this rapid knowledge; even before they
speak; of each other's power and dispositions? One would say; that
the persuasion of their speech is not in what they say; or; that
men do not convince by their argument; but by their personality;
by who they are; and what they said and did heretofore。 A man
already strong is listened to; and everything he says is applauded。
Another opposes him with sound argument; but the argument is scouted;
until by and by it gets into the mind of some weighty person; then it
begins to tell on the community。
Self…reliance is the basis of behavior; as it is the guaranty
that the powers are not squandered in too much demonstration。 In
this country; where school education is universal; we have a
superficial culture; and a profusion of reading and writing and
expression。 We parade our nobilities in poems and orations; instead
of working them up into happiness。 There is a whisper out of the
ages to him who can understand it; ‘whatever is known to thyself
alone; has always very great value。' There is some reason to believe;
that; when a man does not write his poetry; it escapes by other vents
through him; instead of the one vent of writing; clings to his form
and manners; whilst poets have often nothing poetical about them
except their verses。 Jacobi said; that 〃when a man has fully
expressed his thought; he has somewhat less possession of it。〃 One
would say; the rule is; What a man is irresistibly urged to say;
helps him and us。 In explaining his thought to others; he explains
it to himself: but when he opens it for show; it corrupts him。
Society is the stage on which manners are shown; novels are
their literature。 Novels are the journal or record of manners; and
the new importance of these books derives from the fact; that the
novelist begins to penetrate the surface; and treat this part of life
more worthily。 The novels used to be all alike; and had a quite
vulgar tone。 The novels used to lead us on to a foolish interest in
t
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