little britain-第2部分

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state；　having　read　the　Sunday　papers　for　the　last　half　century；

together　with　the　〃Gentleman's　Magazine；〃　Rapin's　〃History　of

England；〃　and　the　〃Naval　Chronicle。〃　　His　head　is　stored　with

invaluable　maxims　which　have　borne　the　test　of　time　and　use

for　centuries。　　It　is　his　firm　opinion　that　〃it　is　a　moral

impossible；〃　so　long　as　England　is　true　to　herself；　that　anything

can　shake　her；　and　he　has　much　to　say　on　the　subject　of　the

national　debt；　which；　somehow　or　other；　he　proves　to　be　a

great　national　bulwark　and　blessing。　　He　passed　the　greater　part

of　his　life　in　the　purlieus　of　Little　Britain；　until　of　late

years；

when；　having　become　rich；　and　grown　into　the　dignity　of　a

Sunday　cane；　he　begins　to　take　his　pleasure　and　see　the　world。　

He　has　therefore　made　several　excursions　to　Hampstead；

Highgate；　and　other　neighboring　towns；　where　he　has　passed

whole　afternoons　in　looking　back　upon　the　metropolis　through

a　telescope；　and　endeavoring　to　descry　the　steeple　of　St。

Bartholomew's。　　Not　a　stage…coachman　of　Bull…and…Mouth

Street　but　touches　his　hat　as　he　passes；　and　he　is　considered

quite　a　patron　at　the　coach…office　of　the　Goose　and　Gridiron；

St。　Paul's　churchyard。　　His　family　have　been　very　urgent　for

him　to　make　an　expedition　to　Margate；　but　he　has　great　doubts

of　those　new　gimcracks；　the　steamboats；　and　indeed　thinks

himself　too　advanced　in　life　to　undertake　sea…voyages。



Little　Britain　has　occasionally　its　factions　and　divisions；　and

party　spirit　ran　very　high　at　one　time　in　consequence　of　two

rival　〃Burial　Societies〃　being　set　up　in　the　place。　　One　held　its

meeting　at　the　Swan　and　Horse　Shoe；　and　was　patronized　by　the

cheesemonger；　the　other　at　the　Cock　and　Crown；　under　the

auspices　of　the　apothecary；　it　is　needless　to　say　that　the　latter

was　the　most　flourishing。　　I　have　passed　an　evening　or　two　at

each；　and　have　acquired　much　valuable　information；　as　to　the

best　mode　of　being　buried；　the　comparative　merits　of

churchyards；　together　with　divers　hints　on　the　subject　of

patent…iron　coffins。　　I　have　heard　the　question　discussed　in　all

its　bearings　as　to　the　legality　of　prohibiting　the　latter　on

account　of　their　durability。　　The　feuds　occasioned　by　these

societies　have　happily　died　of　late；　but　they　were　for　a　long

time　prevailing　themes　of　controversy；　the　people　of　Little

Britain　being　extremely　solicitous　of　funereal　honors　and　of

lying　comfortably　in　their　graves。



Besides　these　two　funeral　societies　there　is　a　third　of　quite　a

different　cast；　which　tends　to　throw　the　sunshine　of　good…

humor　over　the　whole　neighborhood。　　It　meets　once　a　week　at

a　little　old…fashioned　house；　kept　by　a　jolly　publican　of　the

name　of　Wagstaff；　and　bearing　for　insignia　a　resplendent　half…

moon；　with　a　most　seductive　bunch　of　grapes。　　The　old　edifice

is　covered　with　inscriptions　to　catch　the　eye　of　the　thirsty

wayfarer；　such　as　〃Truman；　Hanbury；　and　Co。's　Entire；〃　〃Wine；

Rum；　and　Brandy　Vaults；〃　〃Old　Tom；　Rum　and　Compounds；

etc。〃　　This　indeed　has　been　a　temple　of　Bacchus　and　Momus

from　time　immemorial。　　It　ha　always　been　in　the　family　of　the

Wagstaffs；　so　that　its　history　is　tolerably　preserved　by　the

present　landlord。　　It　was　much　frequented　by　the　gallants　and

cavalieros　of　the　reign　of　Elizabeth；　and　was　looked　into　now

and　then　by　the　wits　of　Charles　the　Second's　day。　　But　what

Wagstaff　principally　prides　himself　upon　is；　that　Henry　the

Eighth；　in　one　of　his　nocturnal　rambles；　broke　the　head　of　one

of　his　ancestors　with　his　famous　walking…staff。　　This；　however；

is　considered　as　a　rather　dubious　and　vainglorious　boast　of　the

landlord。



The　club　which　now　holds　its　weekly　sessions　here　goes　by

the　name　of　〃The　Roaring　Lads　of　Little　Britain。〃　　They

abound　in　old　catches；　glees；　and　choice　stories；　that　are

traditional　in　the　place；　and　not　to　be　met　with　in　any　other

part

of　the　metropolis。　　There　is　a　madcap　undertaker　who　is

inimitable　at　a　merry　song；　but　the　life　of　the　club；　and　indeed

the　prime　wit　of　Little　Britain；　is　bully　Wagstaff　himself。　　His

ancestors　were　all　wags　before　him；　and　he　has　inherited　with

the　inn　a　large　stock　of　songs　and　jokes；　which　go　with　it　from

generation　to　generation　as　heirlooms。　　He　is　a　dapper　little

fellow；　with　bandy　legs　and　pot　belly；　a　red　face；　with　a　moist；

merry　eye；　and　a　little　shock　of　gray　hair　behind。　　At　the

opening　of　every　club　night　he　is　called　in　to　sing　his

〃Confession　of　Faith；〃　which　is　the　famous　old　drinking　trowl

from　〃Gammer　Gurton's　Needle。〃　　He　sings　it；　to　be　sure；　with

many　variations；　as　he　received　it　from　his　father's　lips；　for　it

has　been　a　standing　favorite　at　the　Half…Moon　and　Bunch　of

Grapes　ever　since　it　was　written；　nay；　he　affirms　that　his

predecessors　have　often　had　the　honor　of　singing　it　before　the

nobility　and　gentry　at　Christmas　mummeries；　when　Little

Britain　was　in　all　its　glory。



It　would　do　one's　heart　good　to　hear；　on　a　club　night；　the

shouts　of　merriment；　the　snatches　of　song；　and　now　and　then

the　choral　bursts　of　half　a　dozen　discordant　voices；　which　issue

from　this　jovial　mansion。　　At　such　times　the　street　is　lined　with

listeners；　who　enjoy　a　delight　equal　to　that　of　gazing　into　a

confectioner's　window；　or　snuffing　up　the　steams　of　a

cookshop。



There　are　two　annual　events　which　produce　great　stir　and

sensation　in　Little　Britain；　these　are　St。　Bartholomew's　Fair；

and　the　Lord　Mayor's　Day。　　During　the　time　of　the　fair；　which

is　held　in　the　adjoining　regions　of　Smithfield；　there　is　nothing

going　on　but　gossiping　and　gadding　about。　　The　late　quiet

streets　of　Little　Britain　are　overrun　with　an　irruption　of

strange

figures　and　faces；　every　tavern　is　a　scene　of　rout　and　revel。　

The　fiddle　and　the　song　are　heard　from　the　tap…room；　morning；

noon；　and　night；　and　at　each　window　may　be　seen　some　group

of　boon　companions；　with　half…shut　eyes；　hats　on　one　side；　pipe

in　mouth；　and　tankard　in　hand；　fondling；　and　prosing；　and

singing　maudlin　songs　over　their　liquor。　　Even　the　sober

decorum　of　private　families；　which　I　must　say　is　rigidly　kept　up

at　other　times　among　my　neighbors；　is　no　proof　against　this

Saturnalia。　　There　is　no　such　thing　as　keeping　maid…servants

within　doors。　　Their　brains　are　absolutely　set　madding　with

Punch　and　the　Puppet　Show；　the　Flying　Horses；　Signior　Polito；

the　Fire…Eater；　the　celebrated　Mr。　Paap；　and　the　Irish　Giant。　

The　children；　too；　lavish　all　their　holiday　money　in　toys　and

gilt

gingerbread；　and　fill　the　house　with　the　Lilliputian　din　of

drums；　trumpets；　and　penny　whistles。



But　the　Lord　mayor's　Day　is　the　great　anniversary。　　The　Lord

Mayor　is　looked　up　to　by　the　inhabitants　of　Little　Britain　as　the

greatest　potentate　upon　earth；　his　gilt　coach　with　six　horses　as

the　summit　of　human　splendor；　and　his　procession；　with　all　the

Sheriffs　and　Aldermen　in　his　train；　as　the　grandest　of　earthly

pageants。　　How　they　exult　in　the　idea　that　the　King　himself

dare　not　enter　the　city　without　first　knocking　at　the　gate　of

Temple　Bar；　and　asking　permission　of　the　Lord　Mayor：　for　if

he　did；　heaven　and　earth！　there　is　no　knowing　what　might　be

the　consequence。　　The　man　in　armor；　who　rides　before　the

Lord　mayor；　and　is　the　city　champion；　has　orders　to　cut　down

everybody　that　offends　against　the　dignity　of　the　city；　and　then

there　is　the　little　man　with　a　velvet　porringer　on　his　head；　who

sits　at　the　window　of　the　state…coach；　and　holds　the　city　sword；

as　long　as　a　pike…staffOdd's　blood！　　If　he　once　draws　that

sword；　Majesty　itself　is　not　safe！



Under　the　protection　of　this　mighty　potentate；　therefore；　the

good　people　of　Little　Britain　sleep　in　peace。　　Temple　Bar　is　an

effectual　barrier　against　all　interior　foes；　and　as　to　foreign

invasion；　the　Lord　Mayor　has　but　to　throw　himself　into　the

Tower；　call　in　the　trainbands；　and　put　the　standing　army　of

Beef…eaters　under　arms；　and　he　may　bid　defiance　to　the　world！



　　Thus　wrapped　up　in　its　own　concerns；　its　own　habits；　and　its

own　opinions；　Little　Britain　has　long　flourished　as　a　sound

heart　to　this　great　fungous　metropolis。　　I　have　pleased　myself

with　considering　it　as　a　chosen　spot；　where　the　principles　of

sturdy　John　Bullism　were　garnered　up；　like　seed　corn；　to　renew

the　national　character；　when　it　had　run　to　waste　and

degeneracy。　　I　have　rejoiced　also　in　the　general　spirit　of

harmony　that　prevailed　throughout　it；　for　though　there　might

now　and　then　be　a　few　clashes　of　opinion　between　the

adherents　of　the　cheesemonger　and　the　apothecary；　and　an

occasional　feud　between　the　burial　societies；　yet　these　were　but

transient　clouds；　and　soon　passed　away。　　The　neighbors　met

with　good…will；　parted　with　a　shake　of　the　hand；　and　never

abused　each　other　except　behind　their　backs。



I　could　give　rare　descriptions　of　snug　junketing　parties　at

which　I　have　been　present；　where　we　played　at　All…fours；　Pope…

Joan；　Tome…come…tickle…me；　and　other　choice　old　games；　and

where　we　sometimes　had　a　good　old　English　country　dance　to

the　tune　of　Sir　Roger　de　Coverley。　　Once　a　year；　also；　the

neighbors　would　gather　together；　and　go　on　a　gypsy　party　to

Epping　Forest。　　　It　would　have　done　any　man's　heart　good　to

see　the　merriment　that　took　place　here　as　we　banqueted　on　the

grass　under　the　trees。　　How　we　made　the　woods　ring　with

bursts　of　laughter　at　the　songs　of　little　Wagstaff　and　the　merry

undertaker！　　After　dinner；　too；　the　young　folks　would　play　at

blind…man's…buff　and　hide…and…seek；　and　it　was　amusing　to　see

them　tangled　among　the　briers；　and　to　hear　a　fine　romping　girl

now　and　then　squeak　from　among　the　bushes。　　The　elder　folks

would　gather　round　the　cheesemonger　and　the　apothecary　to

hear　them　talk　politics；　for　they　generally　brought　out　a

newspaper　in　their　pockets；　to　pass　away　time　in　the　country。　

They　would　now　and　then；　to　be　sure；　get　a　little　warm　in

argument；　but　their　disputes　were　always　adjusted　by　reference

to　a　worthy