questionable amusements and worthy substitutes-第14部分

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think　they　had　been　built　in　your　parlor　or　study　and　were　waiting　to

be　launched。　　I　have　contrived　a　sort　of　ceremonial　inclined　plane　for

such　visitors；　which　being　lubricated　with　certain　smooth　phrases；　I

back　them　down；　metaphorically　speaking；　stern…foremost；　into　their

'native　element；'　the　great　ocean　of　outdoors。〃　　There　are　social　companies

as　hard　to　get　rid　of　as　this。　　They　want　to　go；　and　every　one　wants　them

to　go；　but　just　how　to　make　the　start；　no　one　seems　to　know。　　Dr。　Holmes

and　his　〃inclined　plane〃　may　have　been　successful　with　the　private　caller；

but　who　will　be　the　〃contriver　of　a　ceremonial；〃　one　sufficient　to　land　the

social　company　into　its　〃native　element；　the　great　ocean　of　outdoors？〃

No；　this　most　delicate　of　the　problems　involved　in　a　successful　modern

social　must　be　left　to　a　tactful　hint　from　the　entertainment　committee；

and　to　the　wise　choice　of　a　few　recognized　leaders　in　the　company。





NEW　COMMITTEES。



Special　committees　should　have　charge　of　the　serving　and　of　the

entertainment。　　As　far　as　possible　these　should　vary　with　each

successive　social。　　It　is　an　erroneous　notion；　prevalent　in　nearly

every　community；　that　only　〃certain　ones〃　can　do　this　or　that；　the

consequence　is　that　these　〃certain　ones〃　do　all　the　work；　are　deprived

of　the　true　rest　and　relief　which　the　social　is　meant　to　give；　while

others　who　should　take　their　turn；　grow　unappreciative；　and　weak　in

their　serving　and　entertaining　ability。





THE　AVERAGE　SOCIAL　A　FAILURE。



As　it　is　conducted　to…day；　the　average　social　is　a　failure。　　Late　at

arriving；　want　of　introductions；　lack　of　arranged　entertainment；　late

hours；all　go　to　weaken　and　to　dull　the　average　young　person　in

place　of　to　cultivate　his　wits；　his　special　genius　at　music；　reading；

and　conversation；　and　to　recreate　him　in　body；　mind；　and　spirit。　　To

make　a　success　of　the　social　gathering　some　one　must　keep　in　mind

the　personal　convenience　and　happiness　of　every　person　present。

When　this　is　done　and　the　social　gathering　becomes　notable　for　the

real　pleasure　that　it　gives；　then　we　shall　be　able　to　drive　out　the

〃questionable　amusements；〃　because　we　have　taken　nothing　from

the　person；　and　have　given　him　new　life　and　interest。







VIII。



FRIENDSHIP。



BONDS　OF　ATTACHMENT。





Each　person　is　connected　with　every　other　person　by　some　bond　of

attachment。　　It　may　be　by　the　steel　bond　of　brotherhood；　by　the

silvern　chain　of　religious　fellowship；　by　the　golden　band　of　conjugal

affection；　by　the　flaxen　cord　of　parental　or　filial　love；　or　by　the　silken

tie　of　friendship。　　One　or　more　of　these　bonds　of　attachment　may

encircle　each　person；　and　each　bond　has　its　varying　strength；　and　is

capable　of　endless　lengthening　and　contracting。　　Brotherhood　is　a

general　term；　and　as　it　is　used　here；　comprises　the　fellow…feeling　that

one　human　being　has　for　another；　this　is　universal　brotherhood。

Brotherhood　comprises　the　fellow…feeling　that　attracts　persons　of　the

same　race；　nation；　or　community；　this　is　racial；　national；　or　community

brotherhood；　also；　it　comprises　the　fellow…feeling　that　exists　between

persons　of　the　same　avocation；　calling；　or　work；　this　is　the　brotherhood

of　profession；　it　comprises　the　fellow…feeling　that　joins　persons　of　the

same　order　or　party；　this　is　the　brotherhood　of　order；　it　comprises　the

fellow…feeling　that　joins　brothers　and　sisters　of　the　same　home；　this　is

the　brotherhood　of　family。　　Religious　fellowship　includes　that　spiritual

intercourse　which　is　held　between　persons　of　the　same　religious　faith

and　practice。　　Conjugal　affection　comprises　that　feeling　of　mind　and

heart　which　unites　husband　and　wife。　　Filial　and　parental　love　exists

between　parent　and　child。　　While　friendship　comprises　that　soul　union

which　exists　between　persons　because　of　similar　desires；　tastes；　and

sentiments。　　Each　of　these　bonds　of　attachment　has　its　characteristic

mark；　its　essential　feature。　　The　essential　feature　of　universal　brotherhood

is　common　origin；　present　struggle；　and　future　hope；　the　essential　feature

of　racial；　national；　or　community　brotherhood　is　patriotism；　the　essential

feature　of　brotherhood　of　the　order　is　mutual　helpfulness；　the　essential

feature　in　brotherhood　of　the　profession　is　common　pursuit；　in　brotherhood

of　the　family；　common　parentage；　in　conjugal　affection；　attraction　for

opposite　sex；　in　parental　and　filial　love；　love　of　offspring　and　love　of

parent；　while　in　friendship　the　essential　feature　is　harmony　of　natures。





WHAT　IS　FRIENDSHIP？



No　human　relationship　can　be　more　beautiful；　nor　more　abiding　than

true　friendship。　　It　is　a　spiritual　thing；　a　communion　of　souls；　virtuously

exercised。　　How　one　is　impressed　and　pleased　to　see　another　horse　just

like　his　own；　to　see　another　dog　exactly　resembling　his　own；　to　meet　a

person　who　speaks；　looks；　and　acts　like　some　one　he　has　known。　　It　is

a　surprise；　mingled　with　mystery　and　delight。　　But　with　what　increased

surprise　and　delight　does　one　meet　with　a　〃person　after　his　own　heart。〃

All　men　have　recognized　the　strength　and　beauty　of　right　self…love。

The　second　great　law　of　Christ's　kingdom　is　declared　in　terms　of　true

self…love。　　〃Love　thy　neighbor　as　thyself。〃　　Every　one　loves　himself；

because　one's　self　is　the　truest　and　best　of　other　lives　filtered　through

his　own　soul。　　When　one　finds　in　another　that　which　perfectly　answers

to　his　own　soul…likings　and　longings；　he　has　found　another　self；　he　has

found　a　friend。　　Friendship　is　the　communion　of　such　souls；　although

they　may　be　absent　from　one　another。　　The　highest　friendship　may　grow

more　perfectly　when　friends　are　separated；　then　it　is　unmixed　with　the

alloy　of　imperfect　thought　and　action。　　Then　it　is　nourished　by　the　past；

for　only　the　past　buries　all　faults；　it　is　encouraged　by　the　future；　for

only　the　future　veils　the　awkwardness　and　shortcomings　of　the　present。

The　character　of　friendship　is　determined　by　the　character　of　friends。

Negative　personalities　wanting　in　taste；　conviction；　and　virtue　produce

only　a　negative　friendship。　　Intense　personalities　produce　intense

friendships；　noble　personalities；　noble　friendships；　and　spiritual

personalities；　spiritual　friendship。　　In　the　true；　spiritual　sense；　before

one　can　become　a　friend；　he　must　become　an　individual。　　He　must

stand　for　something　in　thought　and　purpose。　　If　this　is　not　true；

friendship　becomes　a　flimsy　affair。　　For　souls　to　commune　with　one

another　there　must　be　harmony；　unity；　agreement　of　desires；　sentiments；

and　tastes。　　Not　the　harmony　of　indifference；　nor　a　forced　agreement；　but

a　beautiful　and　natural　response　of　soul　to　soul。　　Such　equipment　for

friendship　finds　its　basis　only　in　individual　character。　　Character　is

conduct　become　habitual。　　If　one　spurns　reason；　and　follows　his　impulse

and　passion；　he　becomes　unreliable；　and　does　not　know　the　issues　of

his　own　heart　and　life。　　Who　knows　what　such　an　one　will　do　next？　　To

make　it　soar　well　or　sail　well；　friendship　must　have　ballast。　　This　ballast

is　worthy；　individual　character。　　It　would　be　more　exact　to　say　there　can

be　no　true　friendship　without　individual　character。　　Although　many

elements　constitute　the　character　of　the　true　friend；　yet　two　elements　are

essentialsincerity　and　tenderness。　　Sincerity　is　the　soul　of　every　virtue；

while　true　words；　simple　manners；　and　right　actions　make　up　the　body。

If　the　soul　of　virtue　is　present　one　does　not　always　demand　the　presence

of　the　body；　but　if　the　body　of　virtue　is　absent；　one　had　better　take　a

search　after　the　soul。　　If　sincerity　is　unquestioned；　words；　manners；

actions　have　great　liberty；　but　if　words；　manners　and　actions　are

lacking　in　straight…forwardness；　it　is　time　to　question　sincerity。　　This

is　true　in　all　human　affairs　involving　motive　and　conduct。　　Especially

is　it　true　in　friendship。　　Sincerity　knows　its　own。　　By　a　glance　it

penetrates　the　very　heart　of　its　true　friend；　and　leaves　translucent　and

transparent　its　own。　　Sincerity　gives　steadfastness　and　constancy　to

friendship。　　Insincerity　mars　and　breaks　friendship。　　Who　has　not

seen　a　soul　spring　into　life　through　the　love　of　a　radiant　friendship；

and　then　following　a　series　of　hollow　pretenses；　insincerities；　that

friendship　fails；　and　the　beautiful　creature　stifles　and　dies。　　As　one

tells　us；　〃such　a　death　is　frightful；　it　is　the　asphyxia　of　the　soul！〃　　Then；

tenderness　is　an　essential　element　in　the　character　of　a　friend。　　Says

Emerson：　　〃Notwithstanding　all　the　selfishness　that　chills　like　east

winds　the　world；　the　whole　human　family　is　bathed　with　an　element

of　love；　like　a　fine　ether。〃　　With　Emerson；　we　believe　that　every

person　carries　about　with　him　a　certain　circle　of　sympathy　within

which　he；　and　at　least　one　friend；　may　temper　and　sweeten　life。　　Much

of　the　kindness　of　the　world　is　simply　breathed；　and　yet　what　an　aroma

of　good　cheer　it　sheds　in　grateful　lives。　　Tenderness　possesses　a

sensitiveness　of　sympathy　to　an　extreme　degree。　　It　shrinks　from　the

sight　of　suffering。　　It　treats　others　with　〃gentleness；　delicacy；　thought…

fulness；　and　care。　　It　enters　into　feelings；　anticipates　wants；　supplies　the

smallest　pleasure；　and　studies　every　comfort。〃　　Says　one：　　〃It　belongs

to　natures；　refined　as　well　as　loving；　and　possesses　that　consideration　of

which　finer　dispositions　only　are　capable。〃　　Tenderness　is　a　heart

quality。　　It　is　the　luxury　of　a　pure　and　intense　friendship。　　It　tempers　one's

entire　nature；　making　his　whole　being　sympathetic　with　grace　and　favor。

It　is　manifest　in　the　relaxing　feature；　in　the　penetrating　glance；　in　the

mellowing　voice；　in　the　engracing　manners；　and　in　the　complete

obliteration　of　time　and　distance；　while　with　one's　friend。　　We　recall　the

friendly　visits　spend　with　our　friend；　Lawrence　W。　Rowell；　during　his

medical　course　in　Rush　College；　Chicago；　while　we　were　in　attendance

at　the　Northwestern　University；　in　Evanston；　Illinois。　　Rowell　was

in