远离尘嚣-第14部分

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　in　her　short　life，tears　came　to　her　eyes。　She　wished　she　were　as　innocent　as　those　children　again。　She　was　still　crying　when　she　suddenly　noticed　Gabriel　Oak，who　had　come　up　the　path　on　his　way　to　the　church，and　was　watching　her　sympathetically。

‘Are　you　going　in？’she　asked，trying　to　dry　her　tears。

‘I　was，’he　replied。　‘I'm　one　of　the　church　singers，you　know，and　tonight's　my　practice　evening。　But　I　don't　think　I'll　go　in　now。　’There　was　a　pause，while　they　both　tried　to　think　of　something　to　say。　At　last　Gabriel　said　slowly，‘I　haven't　seen　you，to　speak　to，for　a　long　time。　Are　you　better　now？’

‘Yes，I　am，’she　replied。　‘I　came　to　look　at　the　gravestone。　’

‘Eight　months　ago　it　happened！’said　Gabriel。　‘It　seems　like　yesterday　to　me。　’

‘And　to　me　it　seems　like　years，long　years　ago。　’

‘There's　something　I　must　tell　you，’said　Gabriel，hesitating。　‘The　fact　is，I　won't　be　your　farm　manager　much　longer。　I'm　thinking　of　leaving　England，and　farming　in　America。　’

‘Leaving　England！’she　cried　in　surprise　and　disappoint…ment。　‘But　everyone　thought　you　would　rent　poor　Mr　Bold…wood's　farm　and　manage　it　yourself！’

‘The　lawyers　have　offered　it　to　me，it's　true。　But　I'll　be　leaving　Weatherbury　next　spring。　I　have　my　reasons。　’

‘And　what　shall　I　do　without　you？Oh　Gabriel，we're　such　old　friends！You've　helped　me　so　much　in　the　past，and　now　that　I'm　more　helpless　than　ever，you're　going　away！’

‘It's　unfortunate，’said　Gabriel　unhappily。　‘It's　because　of　that　helplessness　that　I　have　to　go，’and　he　walked　so　guickly　out　of　the　churchyard　that　she　could　not　follow　him。

In　the　next　few　months　Bathsheba　noticed　miserably　that　Gabriel　communicated　with　her　as　little　as　possible，and　then　only　by　messenger。　She　could　not　avoid　thinking　that　he，the　last　friend　she　had，had　lost　interest　in　supporting　her，and　was　about　to　desert　her。　On　the　day　after　Christmas　she　received　the　letter　from　him　which　she　had　been　expecting。　In　it　he　explained　that　he　would　leave　the　farm　in　three　months’time。

Bathsheba　sat　and　cried　bitterly　over　this　letter。　She　was　deeply　hurt　that　Gabriel　no　longer　loved　her。　She　was　also　worried　about　having　to　manage　the　farm　by　herself　again。　She　thought　about　it　all　morning，and　was　so　depressed　by　the　afternoon　that　she　put　on　her　cloak　and　found　her　way　to　where　Gabriel　lived。　She　knocked　at　the　door。

‘Who　is　it？’said　Gabriel，opening　the　door。　‘Oh，It's　you，mistress！’

‘I　won't　be　your　mistress　much　longer，will　I，Gabriel？’she　said　sadly。

‘Well，no，I　suppose　not。　’

Because　these　two　people，who　knew　each　other　well，were　meeting　in　a　strange　place，they　felt　like　the　strangers　they　were　when　they　first　met，and　neither　spoke　for　a　moment。

‘Gabriel，perhaps　I　shouldn't　have　come，but　I—I　thought　I　must　have　offended　you，and　that's　why　you're　going　away。

‘Offended　me！You　couldn't　do　that，Bathsheba！’

‘Couldn't　I？’she　said　gladly。　‘But　then　why　are　you　going？’

‘I'm　not　going　to　America，you　know。　I　decided　not　to，when　you　seemed　against　the　idea。　No，I've　arranged　to　rent　Mr　Boldwood's　farm，and　I　could　have　been　your　farm　manager　as　well，if—well—if　people　hadn't　said　things　about　us。　’

‘What？’said　Bathsheba，surprised。　‘What　things？’

‘Well，if　you　must　know，that　I'm　just　waiting　and　hoping　for　the　chance　to　marry　you　some　day。　’

‘Marry　me！That's　too　foolish—too　soon—to　think　of！’

‘Yes，of　course，it's　foolish。　I　certainly　agree。　’

‘“Too　soon”were　the　words　I　used。　’

‘I'm　sorry，but　I　think　you　said“too　foolish”。　’

‘I'm　sorry　too，’she　replied　with　tears　in　her　eyes。　‘“Too　soon”was　what　I　said。　But　it　doesn't　matter　a　bit，not　at　all—but　I　only　meant“too　soon”。　Indeed，you　must　believe　me！’

Gabriel　looked　into　her　face　for　a　long　time。　‘Bathsheba，’he　said，coming　closer，‘If　I　only　knew　one　thing—whether　you'd　allow　me　to　love　you，and　marry　you　after　all—if　I　only　knew！’

‘But　you　never　will　know，’she　whispered。　

‘Why　not？’

‘Because　you　never　ask。　’

‘Oh！’said　Gabriel　delightedly。　‘My　darling—’

‘You　should　never　have　sent　me　that　cruel　letter　this　morning。　It　shows　you　don't　care　a　bit　about　me！’

‘Now　Bathsheba，’he　said，laughing，‘you　know　very　well　that　I　had　to　be　very　careful，as　a　single　man　working　for　you，a　good…looking　young　woman。　I've　been　so　worried　about　your　good　name。　That's　why　I　was　going　to　leave。　’

‘And　that's　the　only　reason？Oh，I'm　so　glad　I　came！’she　cried　thankfully，as　she　got　up　to　leave。　‘I've　thought　so　much　more　about　you　since　I　imagined　you　didn't　even　want　to　see　me　again。　But　Gabriel，I　shouldn't　have　come　to　visit　you！I　seem　to　be　courting　you！How　awful！’

‘Well，I've　courted　you，my　beautiful　Bathsheba，for　a　very　long　time，so　one　visit　from　you　isn't　much　to　ask。　’

As　he　walked　back　to　the　farmhouse　with　her，they　talked　of　his　plans　for　Boldwood's　farm。　They　spoke　very　little　of　their　feelings　for　each　other。　They　were　such　old　friends　that　expressions　of　love　were　probably　unnecessary。　Their　shared　interests　and　their　long，friendly　relationship　had　given　them　a　complete　understanding　of　each　other's　character，and　this　finally　developed，after　their　wedding，into　a　love　that　nothing　could　destroy。　

　



　


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