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little travels and roadside sketches-第1部分

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Little Travels and Roadside Sketches



by William Makepeace Thackeray









I。  FROM RICHMOND IN SURREY TO BRUSSELS IN BELGIUM



II。  GHENTBRUGES:



  Ghent (1840)



  Bruges



III。  WATERLOO









LITTLE TRAVELS AND ROADSIDE SKETCHES







I。FROM RICHMOND IN SURREY TO BRUSSELS IN BELGIUM





。 。 。 I quitted the 〃Rose Cottage Hotel〃 at Richmond; one of the

comfortablest; quietest; cheapest; neatest little inns in England;

and a thousand times preferable; in my opinion; to the 〃Star and

Garter;〃 whither; if you go alone; a sneering waiter; with his hair

curled; frightens you off the premises; and where; if you are bold

enough to brave the sneering waiter; you have to pay ten shillings

for a bottle of claret; and whence; if you look out of the window;

you gaze on a view which is so rich that it seems to knock you down

with its splendora view that has its hair curled like the

swaggering waiter: I say; I quitted the 〃Rose Cottage Hotel〃 with

deep regret; believing that I should see nothing so pleasant as its

gardens; and its veal cutlets; and its dear little bowling…green;

elsewhere。  But the time comes when people must go out of town; and

so I got on the top of the omnibus; and the carpet…bag was put

inside。





If I were a great prince and rode outside of coaches (as I should

if I were a great prince); I would; whether I smoked or not; have a

case of the best Havanas in my pocketnot for my own smoking; but

to give them to the snobs on the coach; who smoke the vilest

cheroots。  They poison the air with the odor of their filthy weeds。

A man at all easy in his circumstances would spare himself much

annoyance by taking the above simple precaution。



A gentleman sitting behind me tapped me on the back and asked for a

light。  He was a footman; or rather valet。  He had no livery; but

the three friends who accompanied him were tall men in pepper…and…

salt undress jackets with a duke's coronet on their buttons。



After tapping me on the back; and when he had finished his cheroot;

the gentleman produced another wind…instrument; which he called a

〃kinopium;〃 a sort of trumpet; on which he showed a great

inclination to play。  He began puffing out of the 〃kinopium〃 a most

abominable air; which he said was the 〃Duke's March。〃  It was

played by particular request of one of the pepper…and…salt gentry。



The noise was so abominable that even the coachman objected

(although my friend's brother footmen were ravished with it); and

said that it was not allowed to play toons on HIS 'bus。  〃Very

well;〃 said the valet; 〃WE'RE ONLY OF THE DUKE OF B'S

ESTABLISHMENT; THAT'S ALL。〃  The coachman could not resist that

appeal to his fashionable feelings。  The valet was allowed to play

his infernal kinopium; and the poor fellow (the coachman); who had

lived in some private families; was quite anxious to conciliate the

footmen 〃of the Duke of B。's establishment; that's all;〃 and told

several stories of his having been groom in Captain Hoskins's

family; NEPHEW OF GOVERNOR HOSKINS; which stories the footmen

received with great contempt。



The footmen were like the rest of the fashionable world in this

respect。  I felt for my part that I respected them。  They were in

daily communication with a duke!  They were not the rose; but they

had lived beside it。  There is an odor in the English aristocracy

which intoxicates plebeians。  I am sure that any commoner in

England; though he would die rather than confess it; would have a

respect for those great big hulking Duke's footmen。



The day before; her Grace the Duchess had passed us alone in a

chariot…and…four with two outriders。  What better mark of innate

superiority could man want?  Here was a slim lady who required

foursix horses to herself; and four servants (kinopium was; no

doubt; one of the number) to guard her。



We were sixteen inside and out; and had consequently an eighth of a

horse apiece。



A duchess = 6; a commoner = 1/8; that is to say;



1 duchess = 48 commoners。



If I were a duchess of the present day; I would say to the duke my

noble husband; 〃My dearest grace; I think; when I travel alone in

my chariot from Hammersmith to London; I will not care for the

outriders。  In these days; when there is so much poverty and so

much disaffection in the country; we should not eclabousser the

canaille with the sight of our preposterous prosperity。



But this is very likely only plebeian envy; and I dare say; if I

were a lovely duchess of the realm; I would ride in a coach…and…

six; with a coronet on the top of my bonnet and a robe of velvet

and ermine even in the dog…days。



Alas! these are the dog…days。  Many dogs are abroadsnarling dogs;

biting dogs; envious dogs; mad dogs; beware of exciting the fury of

such with your flaming red velvet and dazzling ermine。  It makes

ragged Lazarus doubly hungry to see Dives feasting in cloth…of…

gold; and so if I were a beauteous duchess 。 。 。  Silence; vain

man!  Can the Queen herself make you a duchess?  Be content; then;

nor gibe at thy betters of 〃the Duke of B's establishment

that's all。〃





ON BOARD THE 〃ANTWERPEN;〃 OFF EVERYWHERE。



We have bidden adieu to Billingsgate; we have passed the Thames

Tunnel; it is one o'clock; and of course people are thinking of

being hungry。  What a merry place a steamer is on a calm sunny

summer forenoon; and what an appetite every one seems to have!  We

are; I assure you; no less than 170 noblemen and gentlemen

together; pacing up and down under the awning; or lolling on the

sofas in the cabin; and hardly have we passed Greenwich when the

feeding begins。  The company was at the brandy and soda…water in

an instant (there is a sort of legend that the beverage is a

preservative against sea…sickness); and I admired the penetration

of gentlemen who partook of the drink。  In the first place; the

steward WILL put so much brandy into the tumbler that it is fit to

choke you; and; secondly; the soda…water; being kept as near as

possible to the boiler of the engine; is of a fine wholesome heat

when presented to the hot and thirsty traveller。  Thus he is

prevented from catching any sudden cold which might be dangerous to

him。



The forepart of the vessel is crowded to the full as much as the

genteeler quarter。  There are four carriages; each with piles of

imperials and aristocratic gimcracks of travel; under the wheels of

which those personages have to clamber who have a mind to look at

the bowsprit; and perhaps to smoke a cigar at ease。  The carriages

overcome; you find yourself confronted by a huge penful of Durham

oxen; lying on hay and surrounded by a barricade of oars。  Fifteen

of these horned monsters maintain an incessant mooing and

bellowing。  Beyond the cows come a heap of cotton…bags; beyond the

cotton…bags more carriages; more pyramids of travelling trunks; and

valets and couriers bustling and swearing round about them。  And

already; and in various corners and niches; lying on coils of rope;

black tar…cloths; ragged cloaks; or hay; you see a score of those

dubious fore…cabin passengers; who are never shaved; who always

look unhappy; and appear getting ready to be sick。



At one; dinner begins in the after…cabinboiled salmon; boiled

beef; boiled mutton; boiled cabbage; boiled potatoes; and parboiled

wine for any gentlemen who like it; and two roast…ducks between

seventy。  After this; knobs of cheese are handed round on a plate;

and there is a talk of a tart somewhere at some end of the table。

All this I saw peeping through a sort of meat…safe which ventilates

the top of the cabin; and very happy and hot did the people seem

below。



〃How the deuce CAN people dine at such an hour?〃 say several

genteel fellows who are watching the manoeuvres。  〃I can't touch a

morsel before seven。〃



But somehow at half…past three o'clock we had dropped a long way

down the river。  The air was delightfully fresh; the sky of a

faultless cobalt; the river shining and flashing like quicksilver;

and at this period steward runs against me bearing two great

smoking dishes covered by two great glistening hemispheres of tin。

〃Fellow;〃 says I; 〃what's that?〃



He lifted up the cover: it was ducks and green pease; by jingo!



〃What! haven't they done YET; the greedy creatures?〃 I asked。

〃Have the people been feeding for three hours?〃



〃Law bless you; sir; it's the second dinner。  Make haste; or you

won't get a place。〃  At which words a genteel party; with whom I

had been conversing; instantly tumbled down the hatchway; and I

find myself one of the second relay of seventy who are attacking

the boiled salmon; boiled beef; boiled cabbage; &c。  As for the

ducks; I certainly had some pease; very fine yellow stiff pease;

that ought to have been split before they were boiled; but; with

regard to the ducks; I saw the animals gobbled up before my eyes by

an old widow lady and her party just as I was shrieking to the

steward to bring a knife and fork to carve them。  The fellow! (I

mean the widow lady's whiskered companion)I saw him eat pease

with the very knife with which he had dissected the duck!



After dinner (as I need not tell the keen observer of human nature

who peruses this) the human mind; if the body be in a decent state;

expands into gayety and benevolence; and the intellect longs to

measure itself in friendly converse with the divers intelligences

around it。  We ascend upon deck; and after eying each other for a

brief space and with a friendly modest hesitation; we begin anon to

converse about the weather and other profound and delightful themes

of English discourse。  We confide to each other our respective

opinions of the ladies round about us。  Look at that charming

creature in a pink bonnet and a dress of the pattern of a

Kilmarnock snuff…box: a stalwart Irish gentleman in a green coat

and bushy red whis
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