a modest proposal-第2部分

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above　twenty　years　ago；　and　in　conversation　told　my　friend；　that

in　his　country；　when　any　young　person　happened　to　be　put　to

death；　the　executioner　sold　the　carcass　to　persons　of　quality；　as

a　prime　dainty；　and　that；　in　his　time；　the　body　of　a　plump　girl

of　fifteen；　who　was　crucified　for　an　attempt　to　poison　the

Emperor；　was　sold　to　his　imperial　majesty's　prime　minister　of

state；　and　other　great　mandarins　of　the　court　in　joints　from　the

gibbet；　at　four　hundred　crowns。　Neither　indeed　can　I　deny；　that

if　the　same　use　were　made　of　several　plump　young　girls　in　this

town；　who　without　one　single　groat　to　their　fortunes；　cannot　stir

abroad　without　a　chair；　and　appear　at　a　play…house　and　assemblies

in　foreign　fineries　which　they　never　will　pay　for；　the　kingdom

would　not　be　the　worse。



Some　persons　of　a　desponding　spirit　are　in　great　concern　about

that　vast　number　of　poor　people；　who　are　aged；　diseased；　or

maimed；　and　I　have　been　desired　to　employ　my　thoughts　what　course

may　be　taken；　to　ease　the　nation　of　so　grievous　an　incumbrance。

But　I　am　not　in　the　least　pain　upon　that　matter；　because　it　is

very　well　known；　that　they　are　every　day　dying；　and　rotting；　by

cold　and　famine；　and　filth；　and　vermin；　as　fast　as　can　be

reasonably　expected。　And　as　to　the　young　labourers；　they　are　now

in　almost　as　hopeful　a　condition。　They　cannot　get　work；　and

consequently　pine　away　from　want　of　nourishment；　to　a　degree；

that　if　at　any　time　they　are　accidentally　hired　to　common　labour；

they　have　not　strength　to　perform　it；　and　thus　the　country　and

themselves　are　happily　delivered　from　the　evils　to　come。



I　have　too　long　digressed；　and　therefore　shall　return　to　my

subject。　I　think　the　advantages　by　the　proposal　which　I　have　made

are　obvious　and　many；　as　well　as　of　the　highest　importance。



For　first；　as　I　have　already　observed；　it　would　greatly　lessen

the　number　of　Papists；　with　whom　we　are　yearly　over…run；　being

the　principal　breeders　of　the　nation；　as　well　as　our　most

dangerous　enemies；　and　who　stay　at　home　on　purpose　with　a　design

to　deliver　the　kingdom　to　the　Pretender；　hoping　to　take　their

advantage　by　the　absence　of　so　many　good　Protestants；　who　have

chosen　rather　to　leave　their　country；　than　stay　at　home　and　pay

tithes　against　their　conscience　to　an　episcopal　curate。



Secondly；　The　poorer　tenants　will　have　something　valuable　of

their　own；　which　by　law　may　be　made　liable　to　a　distress；　and

help　to　pay　their　landlord's　rent；　their　corn　and　cattle　being

already　seized；　and　money　a　thing　unknown。



Thirdly；　Whereas　the　maintainance　of　an　hundred　thousand

children；　from　two　years　old；　and　upwards；　cannot　be　computed　at

less　than　ten　shillings　a　piece　per　annum；　the　nation's　stock

will　be　thereby　encreased　fifty　thousand　pounds　per　annum；

besides　the　profit　of　a　new　dish；　introduced　to　the　tables　of　all

gentlemen　of　fortune　in　the　kingdom；　who　have　any　refinement　in

taste。　And　the　money　will　circulate　among　our　selves；　the　goods

being　entirely　of　our　own　growth　and　manufacture。



Fourthly；　The　constant　breeders；　besides　the　gain　of　eight

shillings　sterling　per　annum　by　the　sale　of　their　children；　will

be　rid　of　the　charge　of　maintaining　them　after　the　first　year。



Fifthly；　This　food　would　likewise　bring　great　custom　to　taverns；

where　the　vintners　will　certainly　be　so　prudent　as　to　procure　the

best　receipts　for　dressing　it　to　perfection；　and　consequently

have　their　houses　frequented　by　all　the　fine　gentlemen；　who

justly　value　themselves　upon　their　knowledge　in　good　eating；　and

a　skilful　cook；　who　understands　how　to　oblige　his　guests；　will

contrive　to　make　it　as　expensive　as　they　please。



Sixthly；　This　would　be　a　great　inducement　to　marriage；　which　all

wise　nations　have　either　encouraged　by　rewards；　or　enforced　by

laws　and　penalties。　It　would　encrease　the　care　and　tenderness　of

mothers　towards　their　children；　when　they　were　sure　of　a

settlement　for　life　to　the　poor　babes；　provided　in　some　sort　by

the　publick；　to　their　annual　profit　instead　of　expence。　We　should

soon　see　an　honest　emulation　among　the　married　women；　which　of

them　could　bring　the　fattest　child　to　the　market。　Men　would

become　as　fond　of　their　wives；　during　the　time　of　their

pregnancy；　as　they　are　now　of　their　mares　in　foal；　their　cows　in

calf；　or　sow　when　they　are　ready　to　farrow；　nor　offer　to　beat　or

kick　them　（as　is　too　frequent　a　practice）　for　fear　of　a

miscarriage。



Many　other　advantages　might　be　enumerated。　For　instance；　the

addition　of　some　thousand　carcasses　in　our　exportation　of

barrel'd　beef：　the　propagation　of　swine's　flesh；　and　improvement

in　the　art　of　making　good　bacon；　so　much　wanted　among　us　by　the

great　destruction　of　pigs；　too　frequent　at　our　tables；　which　are

no　way　comparable　in　taste　or　magnificence　to　a　well　grown；　fat

yearly　child；　which　roasted　whole　will　make　a　considerable　figure

at　a　Lord　Mayor's　feast；　or　any　other　publick　entertainment。　But

this；　and　many　others；　I　omit；　being　studious　of　brevity。



Supposing　that　one　thousand　families　in　this　city；　would　be

constant　customers　for　infants　flesh；　besides　others　who　might

have　it　at　merry　meetings；　particularly　at　weddings　and

christenings；　I　compute　that　Dublin　would　take　off　annually　about

twenty　thousand　carcasses；　and　the　rest　of　the　kingdom　（where

probably　they　will　be　sold　somewhat　cheaper）　the　remaining　eighty

thousand。



I　can　think　of　no　one　objection；　that　will　possibly　be　raised

against　this　proposal；　unless　it　should　be　urged；　that　the　number

of　people　will　be　thereby　much　lessened　in　the　kingdom。　This　I

freely　own；　and　'twas　indeed　one　principal　design　in　offering　it

to　the　world。　I　desire　the　reader　will　observe；　that　I　calculate

my　remedy　for　this　one　individual　Kingdom　of　Ireland；　and　for　no

other　that　ever　was；　is；　or；　I　think；　ever　can　be　upon　Earth。

Therefore　let　no　man　talk　to　me　of　other　expedients：　Of　taxing

our　absentees　at　five　shillings　a　pound：　Of　using　neither

cloaths；　nor　houshold　furniture；　except　what　is　of　our　own　growth

and　manufacture：　Of　utterly　rejecting　the　materials　and

instruments　that　promote　foreign　luxury：　Of　curing　the

expensiveness　of　pride；　vanity；　idleness；　and　gaming　in　our

women：　Of　introducing　a　vein　of　parsimony；　prudence　and

temperance：　Of　learning　to　love　our　country；　wherein　we　differ

even　from　Laplanders；　and　the　inhabitants　of　Topinamboo：　Of

quitting　our　animosities　and　factions；　nor　acting　any　longer　like

the　Jews；　who　were　murdering　one　another　at　the　very　moment　their

city　was　taken：　Of　being　a　little　cautious　not　to　sell　our

country　and　consciences　for　nothing：　Of　teaching　landlords　to

have　at　least　one　degree　of　mercy　towards　their　tenants。　Lastly；

of　putting　a　spirit　of　honesty；　industry；　and　skill　into　our

shop…keepers；　who；　if　a　resolution　could　now　be　taken　to　buy　only

our　native　goods；　would　immediately　unite　to　cheat　and　exact　upon

us　in　the　price；　the　measure；　and　the　goodness；　nor　could　ever

yet　be　brought　to　make　one　fair　proposal　of　just　dealing；　though

often　and　earnestly　invited　to　it。



Therefore　I　repeat；　let　no　man　talk　to　me　of　these　and　the　like

expedients；　'till　he　hath　at　least　some　glympse　of　hope；　that

there　will　ever　be　some　hearty　and　sincere　attempt　to　put　them

into　practice。



But；　as　to　my　self；　having　been　wearied　out　for　many　years　with

offering　vain；　idle；　visionary　thoughts；　and　at　length　utterly

despairing　of　success；　I　fortunately　fell　upon　this　proposal；

which；　as　it　is　wholly　new；　so　it　hath　something　solid　and　real；

of　no　expence　and　little　trouble；　full　in　our　own　power；　and

whereby　we　can　incur　no　danger　in　disobliging　England。　For　this

kind　of　commodity　will　not　bear　exportation；　and　flesh　being　of

too　tender　a　consistence；　to　admit　a　long　continuance　in　salt；

although　perhaps　I　could　name　a　country；　which　would　be　glad　to

eat　up　our　whole　nation　without　it。



After　all；　I　am　not　so　violently　bent　upon　my　own　opinion；　as　to

reject　any　offer；　proposed　by　wise　men；　which　shall　be　found

equally　innocent；　cheap；　easy；　and　effectual。　But　before

something　of　that　kind　shall　be　advanced　in　contradiction　to　my

scheme；　and　offering　a　better；　I　desire　the　author　or　authors

will　be　pleased　maturely　to　consider　two　points。　First；　As　things

now　stand；　how　they　will　be　able　to　find　food　and　raiment　for　a

hundred　thousand　useless　mouths　and　backs。　And　secondly；　There

being　a　round　million　of　creatures　in　humane　figure　throughout

this　kingdom；　whose　whole　subsistence　put　into　a　common　stock；

would　leave　them　in　debt　two　million　of　pounds　sterling；　adding

those　who　are　beggars　by　profession；　to　the　bulk　of　farmers；

cottagers　and　labourers；　with　their　wives　and　children；　who　are

beggars　in　effect；　I　desire　those　politicians　who　dislike　my

overture；　and　may　perhaps　be　so　bold　to　attempt　an　answer；　that

they　will　first　ask　the　parents　of　these　mortals；　whether　they

would　not　at　this　day　think　it　a　great　happiness　to　have　been

sold　for　food　at　a　year　old；　in　the　manner　I　prescribe；　and

thereby　have　avoided　such　a　perpetual　scene　of　misfortunes；　as

they　have　since　gone　through；　by　the　oppression　of　landlords；　the

impossibility　of　paying　rent　without　money　or　trade；　the　want　of

common　sustenance；　with　neither　house　nor　cloaths　to　cover　them

from　the　inclemencies　of　the　weather；　and　the　most　inevitable

prospect　of　intailing　the　like；　or　greater　miseries；　upon　their

breed　for　ever。



I　profess；　in　the　sincerity　of　my　heart；　that　I　have　not　the

least　personal　interest　in　endeavouring　to　promote　this　necessary

work；　having　no　other　motive　than　the　publick　good　of　my　country；

by　advancing　our　trade；　providing　for　infants；　relieving　the

poor；　and　giving　some　pleasure　to　the　rich。　I　have　no　children；

by　which　I　can　propose　to　get　a　single　penny；　the　youngest　being

nine　years　old；　and　my　wife　past　child…bearing。











End