confessions of an english opium-eater-第11部分

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　at　severe　studies　for　all　the　rest　of　my　time；　and　certainly　I　had　a　right　occasionally　to　relaxations　as　well　as　other　people。　　These；　however；　I　allowed　myself　but　seldom。

The　late　Duke　ofused　to　say；　〃Next　Friday；　by　the　blessing　of　heaven；　I　purpose　to　be　drunk；〃　and　in　like　manner　I　used　to　fix　beforehand　how　often　within　a　given　time；　and　when；　I　would　commit　a　debauch　of　opium。　　This　was　seldom　more　than　once　in　three　weeks；　for　at　that　time　I　could　not　have　ventured　to　call　every　day；　as　I　did　afterwards；　for　〃A　GLASS　OF　LAUDANUM　NEGUS；　WARM；　AND　WITHOUT　SUGAR。〃　　No；　as　I　have　said；　I　seldom　drank　laudanum；　at　that　time；　more　than　once　in　three　weeks：　　This　was　usually　on　a　Tuesday　or　a　Saturday　night；　my　reason　for　which　was　this。　　In　those　days　Grassini　sang　at　the　Opera；　and　her　voice　was　delightful　to　me　beyond　all　that　I　had　ever　heard。　　I　know　not　what　may　be　the　state　of　the　Opera…house　now；　having　never　been　within　its　walls　for　seven　or　eight　years；　but　at　that　time　it　was　by　much　the　most　pleasant　place　of　public　resort　in　London　for　passing　an　evening。　　Five　shillings　admitted　one　to　the　gallery；　which　was　subject　to　far　less　annoyance　than　the　pit　of　the　theatres；　the　orchestra　was　distinguished　by　its　sweet　and　melodious　grandeur　from　all　English　orchestras；　the　composition　of　which；　I　confess；　is　not　acceptable　to　my　ear；　from　the　predominance　of　the　clamorous　instruments　and　the　absolute　tyranny　of　the　violin。　　The　choruses　were　divine　to　hear；　and　when　Grassini　appeared　in　some　interlude；　as　she　often　did；　and　poured　forth　her　passionate　soul　as　Andromache　at　the　tomb　of　Hector；　&c。；　I　question　whether　any　Turk；　of　all　that　ever　entered　the　Paradise　of　Opium…eaters；　can　have　had　half　the　pleasure　I　had。　　But；　indeed；　I　honour　the　barbarians　too　much　by　supposing　them　capable　of　any　pleasures　approaching　to　the　intellectual　ones　of　an　Englishman。　　For　music　is　an　intellectual　or　a　sensual　pleasure　according　to　the　temperament　of　him　who　hears　it。　　And；　by…　the…bye；　with　the　exception　of　the　fine　extravaganza　on　that　subject　in　〃Twelfth　Night；〃　I　do　not　recollect　more　than　one　thing　said　adequately　on　the　subject　of　music　in　all　literature；　it　is　a　passage　in　the　Religio　Medici　｛14｝　of　Sir　T。　Brown；　and　though　chiefly　remarkable　for　its　sublimity；　has　also　a　philosophic　value；　inasmuch　as　it　points　to　the　true　theory　of　musical　effects。　　The　mistake　of　most　people　is　to　suppose　that　it　is　by　the　ear　they　communicate　with　music；　and　therefore　that　they　are　purely　passive　to　its　effects。　　But　this　is　not　so；　it　is　by　the　reaction　of　the　mind　upon　the　notices　of　the　ear　（the　MATTER　coming　by　the　senses；　the　FORM　from　the　mind）　that　the　pleasure　is　constructed；　and　therefore　it　is　that　people　of　equally　good　ear　differ　so　much　in　this　point　from　one　another。　　Now；　opium；　by　greatly　increasing　the　activity　of　the　mind；　generally　increases；　of　necessity；　that　particular　mode　of　its　activity　by　which　we　are　able　to　construct　out　of　the　raw　material　of　organic　sound　an　elaborate　intellectual　pleasure。　　But；　says　a　friend；　a　succession　of　musical　sounds　is　to　me　like　a　collection　of　Arabic　characters；　I　can　attach　no　ideas　to　them。　　Ideas！　my　good　sir？　　There　is　no　occasion　for　them；　all　that　class　of　ideas　which　can　be　available　in　such　a　case　has　a　language　of　representative　feelings。　　But　this　is　a　subject　foreign　to　my　present　purposes；　it　is　sufficient　to　say　that　a　chorus；　&c。；　of　elaborate　harmony　displayed　before　me；　as　in　a　piece　of　arras　work；　the　whole　of　my　past　lifenot　as　if　recalled　by　an　act　of　memory；　but　as　if　present　and　incarnated　in　the　music；　no　longer　painful　to　dwell　upon；　but　the　detail　of　its　incidents　removed　or　blended　in　some　hazy　abstraction；　and　its　passions　exalted；　spiritualized；　and　sublimed。　　All　this　was　to　be　had　for　five　shillings。　　And　over　and　above　the　music　of　the　stage　and　the　orchestra；　I　had　all　around　me；　in　the　intervals　of　the　performance；　the　music　of　the　Italian　language　talked　by　Italian　womenfor　the　gallery　was　usually　crowded　with　Italiansand　I　listened　with　a　pleasure　such　as　that　with　which　Weld　the　traveller　lay　and　listened；　in　Canada；　to　the　sweet　laughter　of　Indian　women；　for　the　less　you　understand　of　a　language；　the　more　sensible　you　are　to　the　melody　or　harshness　of　its　sounds。　　For　such　a　purpose；　therefore；　it　was　an　advantage　to　me　that　I　was　a　poor　Italian　scholar；　reading　it　but　little；　and　not　speaking　it　at　all；　nor　understanding　a　tenth　part　of　what　I　heard　spoken。

These　were　my　opera　pleasures；　but　another　pleasure　I　had　which；　as　it　could　be　had　only　on　a　Saturday　night；　occasionally　struggled　with　my　love　of　the　Opera；　for　at　that　time　Tuesday　and　Saturday　were　the　regular　opera　nights。　　On　this　subject　I　am　afraid　I　shall　be　rather　obscure；　but　I　can　assure　the　reader　not　at　all　more　so　than　Marinus　in　his　Life　of　Proclus；　or　many　other　biographers　and　autobiographers　of　fair　reputation。　　This　pleasure；　I　have　said；　was　to　be　had　only　on　a　Saturday　night。　　What；　then；　was　Saturday　night　to　me　more　than　any　other　night？　　I　had　no　labours　that　I　rested　from；　no　wages　to　receive；　what　needed　I　to　care　for　Saturday　night；　more　than　as　it　was　a　summons　to　hear　Grassini？　　True；　most　logical　reader；　what　you　say　is　unanswerable。　　And　yet　so　it　was　and　is；　that　whereas　different　men　throw　their　feelings　into　different　channels；　and　most　are　apt　to　show　their　interest　in　the　concerns　of　the　poor　chiefly　by　sympathy；　expressed　in　some　shape　or　other；　with　their　distresses　and　sorrows；　I　at　that　time　was　disposed　to　express　my　interest　by　sympathising　with　their　pleasures。　　The　pains　of　poverty　I　had　lately　seen　too　much　of；　more　than　I　wished　to　remember；　but　the　pleasures　of　the　poor；　their　consolations　of　spirit；　and　their　reposes　from　bodily　toil；　can　never　become　oppressive　to　contemplate。　　Now　Saturday　night　is　the　season　for　the　chief；　regular；　and　periodic　return　of　rest　of　the　poor；　in　this　point　the　most　hostile　sects　unite；　and　acknowledge　a　common　link　of　brotherhood；　almost　all　Christendom　rests　from　its　labours。　　It　is　a　rest　introductory　to　another　rest；　and　divided　by　a　whole　day　and　two　nights　from　the　renewal　of　toil。　　On　this　account　I　feel　always；　on　a　Saturday　night；　as　though　I　also　were　released　from　some　yoke　of　labour；　had　some　wages　to　receive；　and　some　luxury　of　repose　to　enjoy。　　For　the　sake；　therefore；　of　witnessing；　upon　as　large　a　scale　as　possible；　a　spectacle　with　which　my　sympathy　was　so　entire；　I　used　often　on　Saturday　nights；　after　I　had　taken　opium；　to　wander　forth；　without　much　regarding　the　direction　or　the　distance；　to　all　the　markets　and　other　parts　of　London　to　which　the　poor　resort　of　a　Saturday　night；　for　laying　out　their　wages。　　Many　a　family　party；　consisting　of　a　man；　his　wife；　and　sometimes　one　or　two　of　his　children；　have　I　listened　to；　as　they　stood　consulting　on　their　ways　and　means；　or　the　strength　of　their　exchequer；　or　the　price　of　household　articles。　　Gradually　I　became　familiar　with　their　wishes；　their　difficulties；　and　their　opinions。　　Sometimes　there　might　be　heard　murmurs　of　discontent；　but　far　oftener　expressions　on　the　countenance；　or　uttered　in　words；　of　patience；　hope；　and　tranquillity。　　And　taken　generally；　I　must　say　that；　in　this　point　at　least；　the　poor　are　more　philosophic　than　the　richthat　they　show　a　more　ready　and　cheerful　submission　to　what　they　consider　as　irremediable　evils　or　irreparable　losses。　　Whenever　I　saw　occasion；　or　could　do　it　without　appearing　to　be　intrusive；　I　joined　their　parties；　and　gave　my　opinion　upon　the　matter　in　discussion；　which；　if　not　always　judicious；　was　always　received　indulgently。　　If　wages　were　a　little　higher　or　expected　to　be　so；　or　the　quartern　loaf　a　little　lower；　or　it　was　reported　that　onions　and　butter　were　expected　to　fall；　I　was　glad；　yet；　if　the　contrary　were　true；　I　drew　from　opium　some　means　of　consoling　myself。　　For　opium　（like　the　bee；　that　extracts　its　materials　indiscriminately　from　roses　and　from　the　soot　of　chimneys）　can　overrule　all　feelings　into　compliance　with　the　master…key。　　Some　of　these　rambles　led　me　to　great　distances；　for　an　opium…eater　is　too　happy　to　observe　the　motion　of　time；　and　sometimes　in　my　attempts　to　steer　homewards；　upon　nautical　principles；　by　fixing　my　eye　on　the　pole…star；　and　seeking　ambitiously　for　a　north…west　passage；　instead　of　circumnavigating　all　the　capes　and　head…lands　I　had　doubled　in　my　outward　voyage；　I　came　suddenly　upon　such　knotty　problems　of　alleys；　such　enigmatical　entries；　and　such　sphynx's　riddles　of　streets　without　thoroughfares；　as　must；　I　conceive；　baffle　the　audacity　of　porters　and　confound　the　intellects　of　hackney…coachmen。　　I　could　almost　have　believed　at　times　that　I　must　be　the　first　discoverer　of　some　of　these　terrae　incognitae；　and　doubted　whether　they　had　yet　been　laid　down　in　the　modern　charts　of　London。　　For　all　this；　however；　I　paid　a　heavy　price　in　distant　years；　when　the　human　face　tyrannised　over　my　dreams；　and　the　perplexities　of　my　steps　in　London　came　back　and　haunted　my　sleep；　with　the　feeling　of　perplexities；　moral　and　intellectual；　that　brought　confusion　to　the　reason；　or　anguish　and　remorse　to　the　conscience。

Thus　I　have　shown　that　opium　does　not　of　necessity　produce　inactivity　or　torpor；　but　that；　on　the　contrary；　it　often　led　me　into　markets　and　theatres。　　Yet；　in　candour；　I　will　admit　that　markets　and　theatres　are　not　the　appropriate　haunts　of　the　opium…　eater　when　in　the　divinest　state　incident　to　his　enjoyment。　　In　that　state；　crowds　become　an　oppression　to　him；　music　even；　too　sensual　and　gross。　　He　naturally　seeks　solitude　and　silence；　as　indispensable　conditions　of　those　trances；　or　profoundest　reveries；　which　are　the　crown　and　consummation　of　what　opium　can　do　for　human　nature。　　I；　whose　disease　it　was　to　meditate　too　much　and　to　observe　too　little；　and　who　upon　my　first　entrance　at　college　was　nearly　falling　into　a　deep　melancholy；　from　brooding　too　much　on　the　sufferings　which　I　had　witnessed　in　London；　was　sufficiently　aware　of　the　tendencies　of　my　own　thoughts　to　do　all　I　could　to　counteract　them。　　I　was；　indeed；　like　a　person　who；　according　to　the　old　legend；　had　entered　the　cave　of　Trophonius；　and　the　remedies　I　sought　were　to　force　myself　into　society；　and