confessions of an english opium-eater-第17部分

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ten　I　used　to　see；　after　painting　upon　the　blank　darkness　a　sort　of　rehearsal　whilst　waking；　a　crowd　of　ladies；　and　perhaps　a　festival　and　dances。　　And　I　heard　it　said；　or　I　said　to　myself；　〃These　are　English　ladies　from　the　unhappy　times　of　Charles　I。　　These　are　the　wives　and　the　daughters　of　those　who　met　in　peace；　and　sate　at　the　same　table；　and　were　allied　by　marriage　or　by　blood；　and　yet；　after　a　certain　day　in　August　1642；　never　smiled　upon　each　other　again；　nor　met　but　in　the　field　of　battle；　and　at　Marston　Moor；　at　Newbury；　or　at　Naseby；　cut　asunder　all　ties　of　love　by　the　cruel　sabre；　and　washed　away　in　blood　the　memory　of　ancient　friendship。〃　　The　ladies　danced；　and　looked　as　lovely　as　the　court　of　George　IV。　　Yet　I　knew；　even　in　my　dream；　that　they　had　been　in　the　grave　for　nearly　two　centuries。　　This　pageant　would　suddenly　dissolve；　and　at　a　clapping　of　hands　would　be　heard　the　heart…quaking　sound　OF　CONSUL　ROMANUS；　and　immediately　came　〃sweeping　by；〃　in　gorgeous　paludaments；　Paulus　or　Marius；　girt　round　by　a　company　of　centurions；　with　the　crimson　tunic　hoisted　on　a　spear；　and　followed　by　the　alalagmos　of　the　Roman　legions。

Many　years　ago；　when　I　was　looking　over　Piranesi's；　Antiquities　of　Rome；　Mr。　Coleridge；　who　was　standing　by；　described　to　me　a　set　of　plates　by　that　artist；　called　his　DREAMS；　and　which　record　the　scenery　of　his　own　visions　during　the　delirium　of　a　fever。　　Some　of　them　（I　describe　only　from　memory　of　Mr。　Coleridge's　account）　represented　vast　Gothic　halls；　on　the　floor　of　which　stood　all　sorts　of　engines　and　machinery；　wheels；　cables；　pulleys；　levers；　catapults；　&c。　&c。；　expressive　of　enormous　power　put　forth　and　resistance　overcome。　　Creeping　along　the　sides　of　the　walls　you　perceived　a　staircase；　and　upon　it；　groping　his　way　upwards；　was　Piranesi　himself：　　follow　the　stairs　a　little　further　and　you　perceive　it　come　to　a　sudden　and　abrupt　termination　without　any　balustrade；　and　allowing　no　step　onwards　to　him　who　had　reached　the　extremity　except　into　the　depths　below。　　Whatever　is　to　become　of　poor　Piranesi；　you　suppose　at　least　that　his　labours　must　in　some　way　terminate　here。　　But　raise　your　eyes；　and　behold　a　second　flight　of　stairs　still　higher；　on　which　again　Piranesi　is　perceived；　but　this　time　standing　on　the　very　brink　of　the　abyss。　　Again　elevate　your　eye；　and　a　still　more　aerial　flight　of　stairs　is　beheld；　and　again　is　poor　Piranesi　busy　on　his　aspiring　labours；　and　so　on；　until　the　unfinished　stairs　and　Piranesi　both　are　lost　in　the　upper　gloom　of　the　hall。　　With　the　same　power　of　endless　growth　and　self…　reproduction　did　my　architecture　proceed　in　dreams。　　In　the　early　stage　of　my　malady　the　splendours　of　my　dreams　were　indeed　chiefly　architectural；　and　I　beheld　such　pomp　of　cities　and　palaces　as　was　never　yet　beheld　by　the　waking　eye　unless　in　the　clouds。　　From　a　great　modern　poet　I　cite　part　of　a　passage　which　describes；　as　an　appearance　actually　beheld　in　the　clouds；　what　in　many　of　its　circumstances　I　saw　frequently　in　sleep：


The　appearance；　instantaneously　disclosed；　Was　of　a　mighty　cityboldly　say　A　wilderness　of　building；　sinking　far　And　self…withdrawn　into　a　wondrous　depth；　Far　sinking　into　splendourwithout　end！　Fabric　it　seem'd　of　diamond；　and　of　gold；　With　alabaster　domes；　and　silver　spires；　And　blazing　terrace　upon　terrace；　high　Uplifted；　here；　serene　pavilions　bright　In　avenues　disposed；　there　towers　begirt　With　battlements　that　on　their　restless　fronts　Bore　starsillumination　of　all　gems！　By　earthly　nature　had　the　effect　been　wrought　Upon　the　dark　materials　of　the　storm　Now　pacified；　on　them；　and　on　the　coves；　And　mountain…steeps　and　summits；　whereunto　The　vapours　had　receded；taking　there　Their　station　under　a　cerulean　sky。　　&c。　&c。


The　sublime　circumstance；　〃battlements　that　on　their　RESTLESS　fronts　bore　stars；〃　might　have　been　copied　from　my　architectural　dreams；　for　it　often　occurred。　　We　hear　it　reported　of　Dryden　and　of　Fuseli；　in　modern　times；　that　they　thought　proper　to　eat　raw　meat　for　the　sake　of　obtaining　splendid　dreams：　　how　much　better　for　such　a　purpose　to　have　eaten　opium；　which　yet　I　do　not　remember　that　any　poet　is　recorded　to　have　done；　except　the　dramatist　Shadwell；　and　in　ancient　days　Homer　is　I　think　rightly　reputed　to　have　known　the　virtues　of　opium。

To　my　architecture　succeeded　dreams　of　lakes　and　silvery　expanses　of　water：　　these　haunted　me　so　much　that　I　feared　（though　possibly　it　will　appear　ludicrous　to　a　medical　man）　that　some　dropsical　state　or　tendency　of　the　brain　might　thus　be　making　itself　（to　use　a　metaphysical　word）　OBJECTIVE；　and　the　sentient　organ　PROJECT　itself　as　its　own　object。　　For　two　months　I　suffered　greatly　in　my　head；　a　part　of　my　bodily　structure　which　had　hitherto　been　so　clear　from　all　touch　or　taint　of　weakness　（physically　I　mean）　that　I　used　to　say　of　it；　as　the　last　Lord　Orford　said　of　his　stomach；　that　it　seemed　likely　to　survive　the　rest　of　my　person。　　Till　now　I　had　never　felt　a　headache　even；　or　any　the　slightest　pain；　except　rheumatic　pains　caused　by　my　own　folly。　　However；　I　got　over　this　attack；　though　it　must　have　been　verging　on　something　very　dangerous。

The　waters　now　changed　their　characterfrom　translucent　lakes　shining　like　mirrors　they　now　became　seas　and　oceans。　　And　now　came　a　tremendous　change；　which；　unfolding　itself　slowly　like　a　scroll　through　many　months；　promised　an　abiding　torment；　and　in　fact　it　never　left　me　until　the　winding　up　of　my　case。　　Hitherto　the　human　face　had　mixed　often　in　my　dreams；　but　not　despotically　nor　with　any　special　power　of　tormenting。　　But　now　that　which　I　have　called　the　tyranny　of　the　human　face　began　to　unfold　itself。　　Perhaps　some　part　of　my　London　life　might　be　answerable　for　this。　　Be　that　as　it　may；　now　it　was　that　upon　the　rocking　waters　of　the　ocean　the　human　face　began　to　appear；　the　sea　appeared　paved　with　innumerable　faces　upturned　to　the　heavensfaces　imploring；　wrathful；　despairing；　surged　upwards　by　thousands；　by　myriads；　by　generations；　by　centuries：　　my　agitation　was　infinite；　my　mind　tossed　and　surged　with　the　ocean。


May　1818


The　Malay　has　been　a　fearful　enemy　for　months。　　I　have　been　every　night；　through　his　means；　transported　into　Asiatic　scenes。　　I　know　not　whether　others　share　in　my　feelings　on　this　point；　but　I　have　often　thought　that　if　I　were　compelled　to　forego　England；　and　to　live　in　China；　and　among　Chinese　manners　and　modes　of　life　and　scenery；　I　should　go　mad。　　The　causes　of　my　horror　lie　deep；　and　some　of　them　must　be　common　to　others。　　Southern　Asia　in　general　is　the　seat　of　awful　images　and　associations。　　As　the　cradle　of　the　human　race；　it　would　alone　have　a　dim　and　reverential　feeling　connected　with　it。　　But　there　are　other　reasons。　　No　man　can　pretend　that　the　wild；　barbarous；　and　capricious　superstitions　of　Africa；　or　of　savage　tribes　elsewhere；　affect　him　in　the　way　that　he　is　affected　by　the　ancient；　monumental；　cruel；　and　elaborate　religions　of　Indostan；　&c。　　The　mere　antiquity　of　Asiatic　things；　of　their　institutions；　histories；　modes　of　faith；　&c。；　is　so　impressive；　that　to　me　the　vast　age　of　the　race　and　name　overpowers　the　sense　of　youth　in　the　individual。　　A　young　Chinese　seems　to　me　an　antediluvian　man　renewed。　　Even　Englishmen；　though　not　bred　in　any　knowledge　of　such　institutions；　cannot　but　shudder　at　the　mystic　sublimity　of　CASTES　that　have　flowed　apart；　and　refused　to　mix；　through　such　immemorial　tracts　of　time；　nor　can　any　man　fail　to　be　awed　by　the　names　of　the　Ganges　or　the　Euphrates。　　It　contributes　much　to　these　feelings　that　southern　Asia　is；　and　has　been　for　thousands　of　years；　the　part　of　the　earth　most　swarming　with　human　life；　the　great　officina　gentium。　　Man　is　a　weed　in　those　regions。　The　vast　empires　also　in　which　the　enormous　population　of　Asia　has　always　been　cast；　give　a　further　sublimity　to　the　feelings　associated　with　all　Oriental　names　or　images。　　In　China；　over　and　above　what　it　has　in　common　with　the　rest　of　southern　Asia；　I　am　terrified　by　the　modes　of　life；　by　the　manners；　and　the　barrier　of　utter　abhorrence　and　want　of　sympathy　placed　between　us　by　feelings　deeper　than　I　can　analyse。　　I　could　sooner　live　with　lunatics　or　brute　animals。　　All　this；　and　much　more　than　I　can　say　or　have　time　to　say；　the　reader　must　enter　into　before　he　can　comprehend　the　unimaginable　horror　which　these　dreams　of　Oriental　imagery　and　mythological　tortures　impressed　upon　me。　　Under　the　connecting　feeling　of　tropical　heat　and　vertical　sunlights　I　brought　together　all　creatures；　birds；　beasts；　reptiles；　all　trees　and　plants；　usages　and　appearances；　that　are　found　in　all　tropical　regions；　and　assembled　them　together　in　China　or　Indostan。　　From　kindred　feelings；　I　soon　brought　Egypt　and　all　her　gods　under　the　same　law。　I　was　stared　at；　hooted　at；　grinned　at；　chattered　at；　by　monkeys；　by　parroquets；　by　cockatoos。　　I　ran　into　pagodas；　and　was　fixed　for　centuries　at　the　summit　or　in　secret　rooms：　　I　was　the　idol；　I　was　the　priest；　I　was　worshipped；　I　was　sacrificed。　　I　fled　from　the　wrath　of　Brama　through　all　the　forests　of　Asia：　　Vishnu　hated　me：　Seeva　laid　wait　for　me。　　I　came　suddenly　upon　Isis　and　Osiris：　　I　had　done　a　deed；　they　said；　which　the　ibis　and　the　crocodile　trembled　at。　　I　was　buried　for　a　thousand　years　in　stone　coffins；　with　mummies　and　sphynxes；　in　narrow　chambers　at　the　heart　of　eternal　pyramids。　　I　was　kissed；　with　cancerous　kisses；　by　crocodiles；　and　laid；　confounded　with　all　unutterable　slimy　things；　amongst　reeds　and　Nilotic　mud。

I　thus　give　the　reader　some　slight　abstraction　of　my　Oriental　dreams；　which　always　filled　me　with　such　amazement　at　the　monstrous　scenery　that　horror　seemed　absorbed　for　a　while　in　sheer　astonishment。　　Sooner　or　later　came　a　reflux　of　feeling　that　swallowed　up　the　astonishment；　and　left　me　not　so　much　in　terror　as　in　hatred　and　abomination　of　what　I　saw。　　Over　every　form；　and　threat；　and　punishment；　and　dim　sightless　incarceration；　brooded　a　sense　of　eternity　and　infinity　that　drove　me　into　an　oppression　as　of　madness。　　Into　these　dreams　only　it　was；　with　one　or　two　slight　exceptions；　that　any　circumstances　of　physical　horror　entered。　　All　before　had　been　moral　and　spiritual　terrors。　　But　here　the　main　agents　were　ugly　birds；　or　snakes；　or　crocodiles；　especially　the　la