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the middle class gentleman-第3部分

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DANCING MASTER: I insist to him that dance is a science to which one cannot do enough honor。

MUSIC MASTER: And I; that music is something that all the ages have revered。

FENCING MASTER: And I insist to them that the science of fencing is the finest and the most necessary of all sciences。

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: And where then will philosophy be? I find you all very impertinent to speak with this arrogance in front of me; and impudently to give the name of science to things that one should not even honor with the name of art; and that cannot be classified except under the name of miserable gladiator; singer; and buffoon!

FENCING MASTER: Get out; you dog of a philosopher!

MUSIC MASTER: Get out; you worthless pedant!

DANCING MASTER: Get out; you ill…mannered cur!

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: What! Rascals that you are 。。。  (The philosopher flings himself at them; and all three go out fighting)。

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Monsieur Philosopher!

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: Rogues! Scoundrels! Insolent dogs!

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Monsieur Philosopher!

FENCING MASTER: A pox on the beast!

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Gentlemen!

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: Impudent rogues!

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Monsieur Philosopher!

DANCING MASTER: The devil take the jackass!

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Gentlemen!

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: Villains!

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Monsieur Philosopher!

MUSIC MASTER: To the devil with the impertinent fellow!

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Gentlemen!

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: Rascals! Beggars! Traitors! Impostors! (They leave)。

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Monsieur Philosopher; Gentlemen! Monsieur Philosopher! Gentlemen! Monsieur Philosopher! Oh! Fight as much as you like。 I don't know what to do; and I'll not spoil my robe to separate you。 I would be a fool to go among them and receive some damaging blow。


ACT TWO

SCENE IV (Philosophy Master; Monsieur Jourdain)

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: (Straightening the collar that indicates he is a Philosopher) Now to our lesson。

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Oh! Sir; I am distressed by the blows they gave you。

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: It's nothing。 A philosopher knows how to take these things and I'll compose a satire against them; in the style of Juvenal; which will fix them nicely。 Let it be。 What would you like to learn?

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Everything I can; for I have every desire in the world to be educated; and I'm furious that my father and mother did not make me study all the sciences when I was young。

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: This is a reasonable sentiment。 Nam sine doctrina vita est quasi mortis imago。 You understand that; and you doubtless know Latin?

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Yes; but act as if I did not know it。 Tell me what it says。

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: It says that without science life is almost an image of death。

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: That Latin is right。

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: Don't you know some principles; some basics of the sciences?

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Oh yes! I can read and write。

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: Where would it please you for us to begin? Would you like me to teach you logic?

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: What is this logic?

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: It is that which teaches the three operations of the mind。

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: What are these three operations of the mind?

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: The first; the second; and the third。 The first is to conceive well by means of the universals; the second is to judge well by means of the categories; and the third is to draw well a conclusion by means of figures。 Barbara; Celarent; Darii; Ferio; Baralipton; etc。

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Those words are too ugly。 This logic doesn't suit me at all。 Let's learn something else that's prettier。

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: Would you like to learn morality?

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Morality?

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: Yes。

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: What does it say; this morality?

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: It treats of happiness; teaches men to moderate their passions; and 。。。

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: No; let's leave that。 I'm as choleric as all the devils and there's no morality that sticks; I want to be as full of anger as I want whenever I like。

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: Would you like to learn physics?

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: What's it about; this physics?

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: Physics explains the principles of natural things and the properties of the material world; it discourses on the nature of the elements; of metals; minerals; of stones; of plants and animals; and teaches the causes of all the meteors; the rainbow; the will o' the wisps; the comets; lightning; thunder; thunderbolts; rain; snow; hail; winds; and whirlwinds。

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: There's too much commotion in it; too much confusion。

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: Then what do you want me to teach you?

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Teach me how to spell。

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: Very gladly。

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Afterwards; you may teach me the almanack; to know when there is a moon and when not。

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: So be it。 Following your thought and treating this matter as a philosopher; it is necessary to begin according to the order of things; by an exact knowledge of the nature of letters and the different ways of pronouncing them all。 And thereupon I must tell you letters are divided into vowels; called vowels because they express the voice; and into consonants because they sound with the vowels and only mark the diverse articulations of the voice。 There are five vowels or voices: A; E; I; O; U。

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: I understand all that。

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: The vowel A is formed by opening the mouth widely : A。 Its vowels are to be given the sounds used in vocalizing: Ah…aye…ee…o…ou。

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: A; A。 Yes。

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: The vowel E is formed by approaching the lower jaw to the upper: A; E。

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: A; E; A; E。 By my faith; yes。 Ah! How fine! PHILOSOPHY MASTER: And the vowel I; by bringing the jaws still nearer each other and stretching the two corners of the mouth towards the ears: A; E; I。

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: A; E; I。 I。 I。 I。 That's true。 Long live science!

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: The vowel O is formed by opening the jaws and drawing together the two corners of the lips; upper and lower: O。

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: O; O。 There's nothing truer。 A; E; I; O;I O。。 That's admirable! I; O; I; O。

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: The opening of the mouth happens to make a little circle which represents an O。

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: O; O; O。 You are right! O。 Ah! What a fine thing it is to know something!

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: The vowel U is formed by bringing the teeth nearly together without completely joining them; and thrusting the two lips outward; also bringing them nearly together without completely joining them: U。

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: U; U。 There's nothing truer。 U。

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: Your two lips thrust out as if you were making a face; whence it results that if you want to make a face at someone and mock him; you have only to say to him 〃U。〃

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: U; U。 That's true。 Ah! Why didn't I study sooner in order to know all that!

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: Tomorrow we shall look at the other letters; which are the consonants。

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Are there things as curious about them as about these?

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: Without a doubt。 The consonant D; for example; is pronounced by clapping the tongue above the upper teeth: D。

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: D; D; Yes。 Ah! What fine things! Fine things!

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: The F; by pressing the upper teeth against the lower lip: F。

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: F; F。 That's the truth。 Ah! My father and my mother; how I wish you ill!

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: And the R; by carrying the tip of the tongue to the top of the palate; so that being grazed by the air that comes out with force; it yields to it and comes back always to the same place; making a kind of trill: R。 AR。

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: R; R; AR。 R; R; R; R; R; RA。 That's true。 Ah! What a clever man you are! And how I have lost time! R; R; R; AR。

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: I'll explain to you all these strange things to their very depths。

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Please do。 But now; I must confide in you。 I'm in love with a lady of great quality; and I wish that you would help me write something to her in a little note that I will let fall at her feet。

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: Very well。

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: That will be gallant; yes?

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: Without doubt。 Is it verse that you wish to write her?

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: No; no。 No verse。

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: Do you want only prose?

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: No; I don't want either prose or verse。

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: It must be one or the other。

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Why?

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: Because; sir; there is no other way to express oneself than with prose or verse。

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: There is nothing but prose or verse?

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: No; sir; everything that is not prose is verse; and everything that is not verse is prose。

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: And when one speaks; what is that then?

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: Prose。

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: What! When I say; 〃Nicole; bring me my slippers; and give me my nightcap;〃 that's prose?

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: Yes; Sir。

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: By my faith! For more than forty years I have been speaking prose without knowing anything about it; and I am much obliged to you for having taught me that。 I would like then to put into a note to her: 〃Beautiful marchioness; your lovely eyes make me die of love;〃 but I want that put in a gallant manner and be nicely turned。

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: Put it that the fires of her eyes reduce your heart to cinders; that you suffer night and day for her the torments of a 。 。 。

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: No; no; no。 I want none of that; I only want you to say 〃Beautiful marchioness; your lovely eyes make me die of love。〃

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: The thing requires a little lengthening。

MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: No; I tell you; I want only those words in the note; but turned stylishly; well arranged; as is necessary。 Please tell me; just to see; the diverse ways they could be put。

PHILOSOPHY MASTER: One could put them first of all as you said them: 〃Beautiful marchioness; your lovely eyes make me die of love。〃 Or else: 〃Of love to die make me; beautiful marchioness; your beautiful eyes。〃 Or else: 〃Your lovely eyes; of love make me; beautiful marchioness; die。〃 Or
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