honorine-第12部分

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to　lose　your　child？'

〃　'Marie！'　she　called　as　she　rang　the　bell。　Gobain　came　in。

〃　'Bring　lights　and　some　tea；'　said　she；　with　the　calm　decision　of　a
Mylady　clothed　in　the　armor　of　pride　by　the　dreadful　English　training
which　you　know　too　well。

〃When　the　housekeeper　had　lighted　the　tapers　and　closed　the　shutters；
the　Countess　showed　me　a　mute　countenance；　her　indomitable　pride　and
gravity；　worthy　of　a　savage；　had　already　reasserted　their　mastery。　She
said：

〃　'Do　you　know　why　I　like　Lord　Byron　so　much？　It　is　because　he
suffered　as　animals　do。　Of　what　use　are　complaints　when　they　are　not
an　elegy　like　Manfred's；　nor　bitter　mockery　like　Don　Juan's；　nor　a
reverie　like　Childe　Harold's？　Nothing　shall　be　known　of　me。　My　heart
is　a　poem　that　I　lay　before　God。'

〃　'If　I　chose'　said　I。

〃　'If？'　she　repeated。

〃　'I　have　no　interest　in　anything；'　I　replied；　'so　I　cannot　be
inquisitive；　but；　if　I　chose；　I　could　know　all　your　secrets　by
to…morrow。'

〃　'I　defy　you！'　she　exclaimed；　with　ill…disguised　uneasiness。

〃　'Seriously？'

〃　'Certainly；'　said　she；　tossing　her　head。　'If　such　a　crime　is
possible；　I　ought　to　know　it。'

〃　'In　the　first　place；　madame；'　I　went　on；　pointing　to　her　hands；
'those　pretty　fingers；　which　are　enough　to　show　that　you　are　not　a
mere　girlwere　they　made　for　toil？　Then　you　call　yourself　Madame
Gobain；　you；　who；　in　my　presence　the　other　day　on　receiving　a　letter；
said　to　Marie：　〃Here；　this　is　for　you？〃　Marie　is　the　real　Madame
Gobain；　so　you　conceal　your　name　behind　that　of　your　housekeeper。
Fear　nothing；　madame；　from　me。　You　have　in　me　the　most　devoted　friend
you　will　ever　have：　Friend；　do　you　understand　me？　I　give　this　word　its
sacred　and　pathetic　meaning；　so　profaned　in　France；　where　we　apply　it
to　our　enemies。　And　your　friend；　who　will　defend　you　against
everything；　only　wishes　that　you　should　be　as　happy　as　such　a　woman
ought　to　be。　Who　can　tell　whether　the　pain　I　have　involuntarily　caused
you　was　not　a　voluntary　act？'

〃　'Yes；'　replied　she　with　threatening　audacity；　'I　insist　on　it。　Be
curious；　and　tell　me　all　that　you　can　find　out　about　me；　but；'　and　she
held　up　her　finger；　'you　must　also　tell　me　by　what　means　you　obtain
your　information。　The　preservation　of　the　small　happiness　I　enjoy　here
depends　on　the　steps　you　take。'

〃　'That　means　that　you　will　fly'

〃　'On　wings！'　she　cried；　'to　the　New　World'

〃　'Where　you　will　be　at　the　mercy　of　the　brutal　passions　you　will
inspire；'　said　I；　interrupting　her。　'Is　it　not　the　very　essence　of
genius　and　beauty　to　shine；　to　attract　men's　gaze；　to　excite　desires
and　evil　thoughts？　Paris　is　a　desert　with　Bedouins；　Paris　is　the　only
place　in　the　world　where　those　who　must　work　for　their　livelihood　can
hide　their　life。　What　have　you　to　complain　of？　Who　am　I？　An　additional
servantM。　Gobain；　that　is　all。　If　you　have　to　fight　a　duel；　you　may
need　a　second。'

〃　'Never　mind；　find　out　who　I　am。　I　have　already　said　that　I　insist。
Now；　I　beg　that　you　will；'　she　went　on；　with　the　grace　which　you
ladies　have　at　command；〃　said　the　Consul；　looking　at　the　ladies。

〃　'Well；　then；　to…morrow；　at　the　same　hour；　I　will　tell　you　what　I　may
have　discovered；'　replied　I。　'But　do　not　therefore　hate　me！　Will　you
behave　like　other　women？'

〃　'What　do　other　women　do？'

〃　'They　lay　upon　us　immense　sacrifices；　and　when　we　have　made　them；
they　reproach　us　for　it　some　time　later　as　if　it　were　an　injury。'

〃　'They　are　right　if　the　thing　required　appears　to　be　a　sacrifice！'
replied　she　pointedly。

〃　'Instead　of　sacrifices；　say　efforts　and'

〃　'It　would　be　an　impertinence；'　said　she。

〃　'Forgive　me；'　said　I。　'I　forget　that　woman　and　the　Pope　are
infallible。'

〃　'Good　heavens！'　said　she　after　a　long　pause；　'only　two　words　would
be　enough　to　destroy　the　peace　so　dearly　bought；　and　which　I　enjoy
like　a　fraud'

〃She　rose　and　paid　no　further　heed　to　me。

〃　'Where　can　I　go？'　she　said。　'What　is　to　become　of　me？Must　I　leave
this　quiet　retreat；　that　I　had　arranged　with　such　care　to　end　my　days
in？'

〃　'To　end　your　days！'　exclaimed　I　with　visible　alarm。　'Has　it　never
struck　you　that　a　time　would　come　when　you　could　no　longer　work；　when
competition　will　lower　the　price　of　flowers　and　articles　of
fashion？'

〃　'I　have　already　saved　a　thousand　crowns；'　she　said。

〃　'Heavens！　what　privations　such　a　sum　must　represent！'　I　exclaimed。

〃　'Leave　me；'　said　she；　'till　to…morrow。　This　evening　I　am　not　myself；
I　must　be　alone。　Must　I　not　save　my　strength　in　case　of　disaster？　For；
if　you　should　learn　anything；　others　besides　you　would　be　informed；
and　thenGood…night；'　she　added　shortly；　dismissing　me　with　an
imperious　gesture。

〃　'The　battle　is　to…morrow；　then；'　I　replied　with　a　smile；　to　keep　up
the　appearance　of　indifference　I　had　given　to　the　scene。　But　as　I　went
down　the　avenue　I　repeated　the　words：

〃　'The　battle　is　to…morrow。'

〃Octave's　anxiety　was　equal　to　Honorine's。　The　Count　and　I　remained
together　till　two　in　the　morning；　walking　to　and　fro　by　the　trenches
of　the　Bastille；　like　two　generals　who；　on　the　eve　of　a　battle；
calculate　all　the　chances；　examine　the　ground；　and　perceive　that　the
victory　must　depend　on　an　opportunity　to　be　seized　half…way　through
the　fight。　These　two　divided　beings　would　each　lie　awake；　one　in　the
hope；　the　other　in　agonizing　dread　of　reunion。　The　real　dramas　of　life
are　not　in　circumstances；　but　in　feelings；　they　are　played　in　the
heart；　or；　if　you　please；　in　that　vast　realm　which　we　ought　to　call
the　Spiritual　World。　Octave　and　Honorine　moved　and　lived　altogether　in
the　world　of　lofty　spirits。

〃I　was　punctual。　At　ten　next　evening　I　was；　for　the　first　time；　shown
into　a　charming　bedroom　furnished　with　white　and　bluethe　nest　of
this　wounded　dove。　The　Countess　looked　at　me；　and　was　about　to　speak；
but　was　stricken　dumb　by　my　respectful　demeanor。

〃　'Madame　la　Comtesse；'　said　I　with　a　grave　smile。

〃The　poor　woman；　who　had　risen；　dropped　back　into　her　chair　and
remained　there；　sunk　in　an　attitude　of　grief；　which　I　should　have
liked　to　see　perpetuated　by　a　great　painter。

〃　'You　are；'　I　went　on；　'the　wife　of　the　noblest　and　most　highly
respected　of　men；　of　a　man　who　is　acknowledged　to　be　great；　but　who　is
far　greater　in　his　conduct　to　you　than　he　is　in　the　eyes　of　the　world。
You　and　he　are　two　lofty　natures。Where　do　you　suppose　yourself　to　be
living？'　I　asked　her。

〃　'In　my　own　house；'　she　replied；　opening　her　eyes　with　a　wide　stare
of　astonishment。

〃　'In　Count　Octave's；'　I　replied。　'You　have　been　tricked。　M。
Lenormand；　the　usher　of　the　Court；　is　not　the　real　owner；　he　is　only　a
screen　for　your　husband。　The　delightful　seclusion　you　enjoy　is　the
Count's　work；　the　money　you　earn　is　paid　by　him；　and　his　protection
extends　to　the　most　trivial　details　of　your　existence。　Your　husband
has　saved　you　in　the　eyes　of　the　world；　he　has　assigned　plausible
reasons　for　your　disappearance；　he　professes　to　hope　that　you　were　not
lost　in　the　wreck　of　the　/Cecile/；　the　ship　in　which　you　sailed　for
Havana　to　secure　the　fortune　to　be　left　to　you　by　an　old　aunt；　who
might　have　forgotten　you；　you　embarked；　escorted　by　two　ladies　of　her
family　and　an　old　man…servant。　The　Count　says　that　he　has　sent　agents
to　various　spots；　and　received　letters　which　give　him　great　hopes。　He
takes　as　many　precautions　to　hide　you　from　all　eyes　as　you　take
yourself。　In　short；　he　obeys　you　。　。　。'

〃　'That　is　enough；'　she　said。　'I　want　to　know　but　one　thing　more。　From
whom　have　you　obtained　all　these　details？'

〃　'Well；　madame；　my　uncle　got　a　place　for　a　penniless　youth　as
secretary　to　the　Commissary　of　police　in　this　part　of　Paris。　That
young　man　told　me　everything。　If　you　leave　this　house　this　evening；
however　stealthily；　your　husband　will　know　where　you　are　gone；　and　his
care　will　follow　you　everywhere。How　could　a　woman　so　clever　as　you
are　believe　that　shopkeepers　buy　flowers　and　caps　as　dear　as　they　sell
them？　Ask　a　thousand　crowns　for　a　bouquet；　and　you　will　get　it。　No
mother's　tenderness　was　ever　more　ingenious　than　your　husband's！　I
have　learned　from　the　porter　of　this　house　that　the　Count　often　comes
behind　the　fence　when　all　are　asleep；　to　see　the　glimmer　of　your
nightlight！　Your　large　cashmere　shawl　cost　six　thousand　francsyour
old…clothes…seller　brings　you；　as　second　hand；　things　fresh　from　the
best　makers。　In　short；　you　are　living　here　like　Venus　in　the　toils　of
Vulcan；　but　you　are　alone　in　your　prison　by　the　devices　of　a　sublime
magnanimity；　sublime　for　seven　years　past；　and　at　every　hour。'

〃The　Countess　was　trembling　as　a　trapped　swallow　trembles　while；　as
you　hold　it　in　your　hand；　it　strains　its　neck　to　look　about　it　with
wild　eyes。　She　shook　with　a　nervous　spasm；　studying　me　with　a　defiant
look。　Her　dry　eyes　glittered　with　a　light　that　was　almost　hot：　still；
she　was　a　woman！　The　moment　came　when　her　tears　forced　their　way；　and
she　weptnot　because　she　was　touched；　but　because　she　was　helpless；
they　were　tears　of　desperation。　She　had　believed　herself　independent
and　free；　marriage　weighed　on　her　as　the　prison　cell　does　on　the
captive。

〃　'I　will　go！'　she　cried　through　her　tears。　'He　forces　me　to　it；　I
will　go　where　no　one　certainly　will　come　after　me。'

〃　'What；'　I　said；　'you　would　kill　yourself？Madame；　you　must　have
some　very　powerful　reasons　for　not　wishing　to　return　to　Comte　Octave。'

〃　'Certainly　I　have！'

〃　'Well；　then；　tell　them　to　me；　tell　them　to　my　uncle。　In　us　you　will
find　two　devoted　advisers。　Though　in　the　confessional　my　uncle　is　a
priest；　he　never　is　one　in　a　drawing…room。　We　will　hear　you；　we　will
try　to　find　a　solution　of　the　problems　you　may　lay　before　us；　and　if
you　are　the　dupe　or　the　victim　of　some　misapprehension；　perhaps　we　can
clear　the　matter　up。　Your　soul；　I　believe；　is　pure；　but　if　you　have
done　wrong；　your　fault　is　fully　expiated。　。　。　。　At　any　rate；　remember
that　in　me　you　have　a　most　sincere　friend。　If　you　should　wish　to　evade
the　Count's　tyranny；　I　will　find　you　the　means；　he　shall　never　find
you。'

〃　'Oh！　there　is　always　a　convent！'　said　she。

〃　'Yes。　But　the　Count；　as　Minister　of　State；　can　procure　your
rejection　by　every　convent　in　the　world。　Even　though　he　is　powerful；　I
will　save　you　from　him；