some short stories-第17部分

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there　before　him。　　Meanwhile　within　him　strange　things　took　place。
It　was　literally　true　that　his　impression　began　again；　after　a
lull；　to　make　him　nervous　and　anxious；　and　for　reasons　peculiarly
confused；　almost　grotesquely　mingled；　or　at　least　comically　sharp。
He　was　distinctly　an　agitation　and　a　new　tastethat　he　could　see；
and　he　saw　quite　as　much　therefore　the　excitement　she　already　drew
from　the　vision　of　Addie；　an　image　intensified　by　the　sense　of
closer　kinship　and　presented　to　her；　clearly；　with　various　erratic
enhancements；　by　her　friend　the　doctor's　daughter。　　At　the　end　of　a
few　days　he　said　to　her：　　〃Do　you　know　she　wants　to　come　without
waiting　any　longer？　　She　wants　to　come　while　I'm　here。　　I　received
this　morning　her　letter　proposing　it；　but　I've　been　thinking　it
over　and　have　waited　to　speak　to　you。　　The　thing　is；　you　see；　that
if　she　writes　to　YOU　proposing　it〃

〃Oh　I　shall　be　so　particularly　glad！〃



CHAPTER　V



They　were　as　usual　in　the　garden；　and　it　hadn't　yet　been　so　present
to　him　that　if　he　were　only　a　happy　cad　there　would　be　a　good　way
to　protect　her。　　As　she　wouldn't　hear　of　his　being　yet　beyond
precautions　she　had　gone　into　the　house　for　a　particular　shawl　that
was　just　the　thing　for　his　knees；　and；　blinking　in　the　watery
sunshine；　had　come　back　with　it　across　the　fine　little　lawn。　　He
was　neither　fatuous　nor　asinine；　but　he　had　almost　to　put　it　to
himself　as　a　small　task　to　resist　the　sense　of　his　absurd　advantage
with　her。　　It　filled　him　with　horror　and　awkwardness；　made　him
think　of　he　didn't　know　what；　recalled　something　of　Maupassant's
the　smitten　〃Miss　Harriet〃　and　her　tragic　fate。　　There　was　a
preposterous　possibilityyes；　he　held　the　strings　quite　in　his
handsof　keeping　the　treasure　for　himself。　　That　was　the　art　of
lifewhat　the　real　artist　would　consistently　do。　　He　would　close
the　door　on　his　impression；　treat　it　as　a　private　museum。　　He　would
see　that　he　could　lounge　and　linger　there；　live　with　wonderful
things　there；　lie　up　there　to　rest　and　refit。　　For　himself　he　was
sure　that　after　a　little　he　should　be　able　to　paint　theredo
things　in　a　key　he　had　never　thought　of　before。　　When　she　brought
him　the　rug　he　took　it　from　her　and　made　her　sit　down　on　the　bench
and　resume　her　knitting；　then；　passing　behind　her　with　a　laugh；　he
placed　it　over　her　own　shoulders；　after　which　he　moved　to　and　fro
before　her；　his　hands　in　his　pockets　and　his　cigarette　in　his
teeth。　　He　was　ashamed　of　the　cigarettea　villainous　false　note；
but　she　allowed；　liked；　begged　him　to　smoke；　and　what　he　said　to
her　on　it；　in　one　of　the　pleasantries　she　benevolently　missed；　was
that　he　did　so　for　fear　of　doing　worse。　　That　only　showed　how　the
end　was　really　in　sight。　　〃I　dare　say　it　will　strike　you　as　quite
awful；　what　I'm　going　to　say　to　you；　but　I　can't　help　it。　　I　speak
out　of　the　depths　of　my　respect　for　you。　　It　will　seem　to　you
horrid　disloyalty　to　poor　Addie。　　Yesthere　we　are；　there　_I_　am
at　least　in　my　naked　monstrosity。〃　　He　stopped　and　looked　at　her
till　she　might　have　been　almost　frightened。　　〃Don't　let　her　come。
Tell　her　not　to。　　I've　tried　to　prevent　it；　but　she　suspects。〃

The　poor　woman　wondered。　　〃Suspects？〃

〃Well；　I　drew　it；　in　writing　to　her；　on　reflexion；　as　mild　as　I
couldhaving　been　visited　in　the　watches　of　the　night　by　the
instinct　of　what　might　happen。　　Something　told　me　to　keep　back　my
first　letterin　which；　under　the　first　impression；　I　myself　rashly
'raved'；　and　I　concocted　instead　of　it　an　insincere　and　guarded
report。　　But　guarded　as　I　was　I　clearly　didn't　keep　you　'down；'　as
we　say；　enough。　　The　wonder　of　your　colourdaub　you　over　with　grey
as　I　mightmust　have　come　through　and　told　the　tale。　　She　scents
battle　from　afarby　which　I　mean　she　scents　'quaintness。'　　But
keep　her　off。　　It's　hideous；　what　I'm　sayingbut　I　owe　it　to　you。
I　owe　it　to　the　world。　　She'll　kill　you。〃

〃You　mean　I　shan't　get　on　with　her？〃

〃Oh　fatally！　　See　how　_I_　have。　　And　see　how　you　have　with　ME。
She's　intelligent；　moreover；　remarkably　pretty；　remarkably　good。
And　she'll　adore　you。〃

〃Well　then？〃

〃Why　that　will　be　just　how　she'll　do　for　you。〃

〃Oh　I　can　hold　my　own！〃　said　Miss　Wenham　with　the　headshake　of　a
horse　making　his　sleigh…bells　rattle　in　frosty　air。

〃Ah　but　you　can't　hold　hers！　　She'll　rave　about　you。　　She'll　write
about　you。　　You're　Niagara　before　the　first　white　travellerand
you　know；　or　rather　you　can't　know；　what　Niagara　became　AFTER　that
gentleman。　　Addie　will　have　discovered　Niagara。　　She'll　understand
you　in　perfection；　she'll　feel　you　down　to　the　ground；　not　a
delicate　shade　of　you　will　she　lose　or　let　any　one　else　lose。
You'll　be　too　weird　for　words；　but　the　words　will　nevertheless
come。　　You'll　be　too　exactly　the　real　thing　and　be　left　too　utterly
just　as　you　are；　and　all　Addie's　friends　and　all　Addie's　editors
and　contributors　and　readers　will　cross　the　Atlantic　and　flock　to
Flickerbridge　just　in　order　sounanimously；　universally；
vociferouslyto　leave　you。　　You'll　be　in　the　magazines　with
illustrations；　you'll　be　in　the　papers　with　headings；　you'll　be
everywhere　with　everything。　　You　don't　understandyou　think　you
do；　but　you　don't。　　Heaven　forbid　you　SHOULD　understand！　　That's
just　your　beautyyour　'sleeping'　beauty。　　But　you　needn't。　　You
can　take　me　on　trust。　　Don't　have　her。　　Give　as　a　pretext；　as　a
reason；　anything　in　the　world　you　like。　　Lie　to　herscare　her
away。　　I'll　go　away　and　give　you　upI'll　sacrifice　everything
myself。〃　　Granger　pursued　his　exhortation；　convincing　himself　more
and　more。　　〃If　I　saw　my　way　out；　my　way　completely　through；　I'D
pile　up　some　fabric　of　fiction　for　herI　should　only　want　to　be
sure　of　its　not　tumbling　down。　　One　would　have；　you　see；　to　keep
the　thing　up。　　But　I'd　throw　dust　in　her　eyes。　　I'd　tell　her　you
don't　do　at　allthat　you're　not　in　fact　a　desirable　acquaintance。
I'd　tell　her　you're　vulgar；　improper；　scandalous；　I'd　tell　her
you're　mercenary；　designing；　dangerous；　I'd　tell　her　the　only　safe
course　is　immediately　to　let　you　drop。　　I'd　thus　surround　you　with
an　impenetrable　legend　of　conscientious　misrepresentation；　a　circle
of　pious　fraud；　and　all　the　while　privately　keep　you　for　myself。〃

She　had　listened　to　him　as　if　he　were　a　band　of　music　and　she
herself　a　small　shy　garden…party。　　〃I　shouldn't　like　you　to　go
away。　　I　shouldn't　in　the　least　like　you　not　to　come　again。〃

〃Ah　there　it　is！〃　he　replied。　　〃How　can　I　come　again　if　Addie　ruins
you？〃

〃But　how　will　she　ruin　meeven　if　she　does　what　you　say？　　I　know
I'm　too　old　to　change　and　really　much　too　queer　to　please　in　any　of
the　extraordinary　ways　you　speak　of。　　If　it's　a　question　of
quizzing　me　I　don't　think　my　cousin；　or　any　one　else；　will　have
quite　the　hand　for　it　that　YOU　seem　to　have。　　So　that　if　YOU
haven't　ruined　me！〃

〃But　I　HAVEthat's　just　the　point！〃　Granger　insisted。　　〃I've
undermined　you　at　least。　　I've　left　after　all　terribly　little　for
Addie　to　do。〃

She　laughed　in　clear　tones。　　〃Well　then；　we'll　admit　that　you've
done　everything　but　frighten　me。〃

He　looked　at　her　with　surpassing　gloom。　　〃Nothat　again　is　one　of
the　most　dreadful　features。　　You'll　positively　like　itwhat's　to
come。　　You'll　be　caught　up　in　a　chariot　of　fire　like　the　prophet
wasn't　there；　was　there　one？of　old。　　That's　exactly　whyif　one
could　but　have　done　ityou'd　have　been　to　be　kept　ignorant　and
helpless。　　There's　something　or　other　in　Latin　that　says　it's　the
finest　things　that　change　the　most　easily　for　the　worse。　　You
already　enjoy　your　dishonour　and　revel　in　your　shame。　　It's　too
lateyou're　lost！〃



CHAPTER　VI



All　this　was　as　pleasant　a　manner　of　passing　the　time　as　any　other；
for　it　didn't　prevent　his　old…world　corner　from　closing　round　him
more　entirely；　nor　stand　in　the　way　of　his　making　out　from　day　to
day　some　new　source　as　well　as　some　new　effect　of　its　virtue。　　He
was　really　scared　at　moments　at　some　of　the　liberties　he　took　in
talkat　finding　himself　so　familiar；　for　the　great　note　of　the
place　was　just　that　a　certain　modern　ease　had　never　crossed　its
threshold；　that　quick　intimacies　and　quick　oblivions　were　a
stranger　to　its　air。　　It　had　known　in　all　its　days　no　rude；　no　loud
invasion。　　Serenely　unconscious　of　most　contemporary　things；　it　had
been　so　of　nothing　so　much　as　of　the　diffused　social　practice　of
running　in　and　out。　　Granger　held　his　breath　on　occasions　to　think
how　Addie　would　run。　　There　were　moments　when；　more　than　at　others；
for　some　reason；　he　heard　her　step　on　the　staircase　and　her　cry　in
the　hall。　　If　he　nevertheless　played　freely　with　the　idea　with
which　we　have　shown　him　as　occupied　it　wasn't　that　in　all　palpable
ways　he　didn't　sacrifice　so　far　as　mortally　possible　to　stillness。
He　only　hovered；　ever　so　lightly；　to　take　up　again　his　thread。　　She
wouldn't　hear　of　his　leaving　her；　of　his　being　in　the　least　fit
again；　as　she　said；　to　travel。　　She　spoke　of　the　journey　to　London…
…which　was　in　fact　a　matter　of　many　hoursas　an　experiment　fraught
with　lurking　complications。　　He　added　then　day　to　day；　yet　only
hereby；　as　he　reminded　her；　giving　other　complications　a　larger
chance　to　multiply。　　He　kept　it　before　her；　when　there　was　nothing
else　to　do；　that　she　must　consider；　after　which　he　had　his　times　of
fear　that　she　perhaps　really　would　make　for　him　this　sacrifice。

He　knew　she　had　written　again　to　Paris；　and　knew　he　must　himself
again　writea　situation　abounding　for　each　in　the　elements　of　a
plight。　　If　he　stayed　so　long　why　then　he　wasn't　better；　and　if　he
wasn't　better　Addie　might　take　it　into　her　head！　　They　must　make
it　clear　that　he　WAS　better；　so　that；　suspicious；　alarmed　at　what
was　kept　from　her；　she　shouldn't　suddenly　present　herself　to　nurse
him。　　If　he　was　better；　however；　why　did　he　stay　so　long？　　If　he
stayed　only　for　the　attraction　the　sense　of　the　attraction　might　be
contagious。　　This　was　what　finally　grew　clearest　for　him；　so　that
he　had　for　his　mild　disciple　hours　of　still　sharper　prophecy。　　It
consorted　with　his　fancy　to　represent　to　her　that　their　young
friend　had　been　by　this　time　unsparingly　warned；　but　nothing　could
be　plainer　than　that　this　was　ineffectual　so　long　as　he　himself
resisted　the　ordeal。　　To　plea