some short stories-第3部分

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but　so　pathetically　sociable　as　to　make　the　excellent　man　look　at
me　in　a　way　that　seemed　to　say：　　〃Do　exchange　a　glance　with　me；　or
I　shan't　be　able　to　stand　it。〃　　What　he　wasn't　able　to　stand　was
not　what　Mr。　Offord　said　about　him；　but　what　he　wasn't　able　to　say
in　return。　　His　idea　of　conversation　for　himself　was　giving　you　the
convenience　of　speaking　to　him；　and　when　he　went　to　〃see〃　Lady
Kenyon　for　instance　it　was　to　carry　her　the　tribute　of　his
receptive　silence。　　Where　would　the　speech　of　his　betters　have　been
if　proper　service　had　been　a　manifestation　of　sound？　　In　that　case
the　fundamental　difference　would　have　had　to　be　shown　by　their
dumbness；　and　many　of　them；　poor　things；　were　dumb　enough　without
that　provision。　　Brooksmith　took　an　unfailing　interest　in　the
preservation　of　the　fundamental　difference；　it　was　the　thing　he　had
most　on　his　conscience。

What　had　become　of　it　however　when　Mr。　Offord　passed　away　like　any
inferior　personwas　relegated　to　eternal　stillness　after　the
manner　of　a　butler　above…stairs？　　His　aspect　on　the　eventfor　the
several　successive　daysmay　be　imagined；　and　the　multiplication　by
funereal　observance　of　the　things　he　didn't　say。　　When　everything
was　overit　was　late　the　same　dayI　knocked　at　the　door　of　the
house　of　mourning　as　I　so　often　had　done　before。　　I　could　never
call　on　Mr。　Offord　again；　but　I　had　come　literally　to　call　on
Brooksmith。　　I　wanted　to　ask　him　if　there　was　anything　I　could　do
for　him；　tainted　with　vagueness　as　this　inquiry　could　only　be。　　My
presumptuous　dream　of　taking　him　into　my　own　service　had　died　away：
my　service　wasn't　worth　his　being　taken　into。　　My　offer　could　only
be　to　help　him　to　find　another　place；　and　yet　there　was　an
indelicacy；　as　it　were；　in　taking　for　granted　that　his　thoughts
would　immediately　be　fixed　on　another。　　I　had　a　hope　that　he　would
be　able　to　give　his　life　a　different　formthough　certainly　not　the
form；　the　frequent　result　of　such　bereavements；　of　his　setting　up　a
little　shop。　　That　would　have　been　dreadful；　for　I　should　have
wished　to　forward　any　enterprise　he　might　embark　in；　yet　how　could
I　have　brought　myself　to　go　and　pay　him　shillings　and　take　back
coppers；　over　a　counter？　　My　visit　then　was　simply　an　intended
compliment。　　He　took　it　as　such；　gratefully　and　with　all　the　tact
in　the　world。　　He　knew　I　really　couldn't　help　him　and　that　I　knew
he　knew　I　couldn't；　but　we　discussed　the　situationwith　a　good
deal　of　elegant　generalityat　the　foot　of　the　stairs；　in　the　hall
already　dismantled；　where　I　had　so　often　discussed　other　situations
with　him。　　The　executors　were　in　possession；　as　was　still　more
apparent　when　he　made　me　pass　for　a　few　minutes　into　the　dining…
room；　where　various　objects　were　muffled　up　for　removal。

Two　definite　facts；　however；　he　had　to　communicate；　one　being　that
he　was　to　leave　the　house　for　ever　that　night　（servants；　for　some
mysterious　reason；　seem　always　to　depart　by　night）；　and　the　other
he　mentioned　it　only　at　the　last　and　with　hesitationthat　he　was
already　aware　his　late　master　had　left　him　a　legacy　of　eighty
pounds。　　〃I'm　very　glad；〃　I　said；　and　Brooksmith　was　of　the　same
mind：　　〃It　was　so　like　him　to　think　of　me。〃　　This　was　all　that
passed　between　us　on　the　subject；　and　I　know　nothing　of　his
judgement　of　Mr。　Offord's　memento。　　Eighty　pounds　are　always　eighty
pounds；　and　no　one　has　ever　left　ME　an　equal　sum；　but；　all　the
same；　for　Brooksmith；　I　was　disappointed。　　I　don't　know　what　I　had
expected；　but　it　was　almost　a　shock。　　Eighty　pounds　might　stock　a
small　shopa　VERY　small　shop；　but；　I　repeat；　I　couldn't　bear　to
think　of　that。　　I　asked　my　friend　if　he　had　been　able　to　save　a
little；　and　he　replied：　　〃No；　sir；　I've　had　to　do　things。〃　　I
didn't　inquire　what　things　they　might　have　been；　they　were　his　own
affair；　and　I　took　his　word　for　them　as　assentingly　as　if　he　had
had　the　greatness　of　an　ancient　house　to　keep　up；　especially　as
there　was　something　in　his　manner　that　seemed　to　convey　a　prospect
of　further　sacrifice。

〃I　shall　have　to　turn　round　a　bit；　sirI　shall　have　to　look　about
me；〃　he　said；　and　then　he　added　indulgently；　magnanimously：　　〃If
you　should　happen　to　hear　of　anything　for　me〃

I　couldn't　let　him　finish；　this　was；　in　its　essence；　too　much　in
the　really　grand　manner。　　It　would　be　a　help　to　my　getting　him　off
my　mind　to　be　able　to　pretend　I　COULD　find　the　right　place；　and
that　help　he　wished　to　give　me；　for　it　was　doubtless　painful　to　him
to　see　me　in　so　false　a　position。　　I　interposed　with　a　few　words　to
the　effect　of　how　well　aware　I　was　that　wherever　he　should　go；
whatever　he　should　do；　he　would　miss　our　old　friend　terriblymiss
him　even　more　than　I　should；　having　been　with　him　so　much　more。
This　led　him　to　make　the　speech　that　has　remained　with　me　as　the
very　text　of　the　whole　episode。

〃Oh　sir；　it's　sad　for　YOU；　very　sad　indeed；　and　for　a　great　many
gentlemen　and　ladies；　that　it　is；　sir。　　But　for　me；　sir；　it　is；　if
I　may　say　so；　still　graver　even　than　that：　　it's　just　the　loss　of
something　that　was　everything。　　For　me；　sir；〃　he　went　on　with
rising　tears；　〃he　was　just　ALL；　if　you　know　what　I　mean；　sir。　　You
have　others；　sir；　I　daresaynot　that　I　would　have　you　understand
me　to　speak　of　them　as　in　any　way　tantamount。　　But　you　have　the
pleasures　of　society；　sir；　if　it's　only　in　talking　about　him；　sir；
as　I　daresay　you　do　freelyfor　all　his　blest　memory　has　to　fear
from　itwith　gentlemen　and　ladies　who　have　had　the　same　honour。
That's　not　for　me；　sir；　and　I've　to　keep　my　associations　to　myself。
Mr。　Offord　was　MY　society；　and　now；　you　see；　I　just　haven't　any。
You　go　back　to　conversation；　sir；　after　all；　and　I　go　back　to　my
place；〃　Brooksmith　stammered；　without　exaggerated　irony　or　dramatic
bitterness；　but　with　a　flat　unstudied　veracity　and　his　hand　on　the
knob　of　the　street…door。　　He　turned　it　to　let　me　out　and　then　he
added：　　〃I　just　go　downstairs；　sir；　again；　and　I　stay　there。〃

〃My　poor　child；〃　I　replied　in　my　emotion；　quite　as　Mr。　Offord　used
to　speak；　〃my　dear　fellow；　leave　it　to　me：　　WE'LL　look　after　you；
we'll　all　do　something　for　you。〃

〃Ah　if　you　could　give　me　some　one　LIKE　him！　　But　there　ain't　two
such　in　the　world；〃　Brooksmith　said　as　we　parted。

He　had　given　me　his　addressthe　place　where　he　would　be　to　be
heard　of。　　For　a　long　time　I　had　no　occasion　to　make　use　of　the
information：　　he　proved　on　trial　so　very　difficult　a　case。　　The
people　who　knew　him　and　had　known　Mr。　Offord　didn't　want　to　take
him；　and　yet　I　couldn't　bear　to　try　to　thrust　him　among　strangers
strangers　to　his　past　when　not　to　his　present。　　I　spoke　to　many　of
our　old　friends　about　him　and　found　them　all　governed　by　the　odd
mixture　of　feelings　of　which　I　myself　was　consciousas　well　as
disposed；　further；　to　entertain　a　suspicion　that　he　was　〃spoiled；〃
with　which；　I　then　would　have　nothing　to　do。　　In　plain　terms　a
certain　embarrassment；　a　sensible　awkwardness　when　they　thought　of
it；　attached　to　the　idea　of　using　him　as　a　menial：　　they　had　met
him　so　often　in　society。　　Many　of　them　would　have　asked　him；　and
did　ask　him；　or　rather　did　ask　me　to　ask　him；　to　come　and　see　them；
but　a　mere　visiting…list　was　not　what　I　wanted　for　him。　　He　was　too
short　for　people　who　were　very　particular；　nevertheless　I　heard　of
an　opening　in　a　diplomatic　household　which　led　me　to　write　him　a
note；　though　I　was　looking　much　less　for　something　grand　than　for
something　human。　　Five　days　later　I　heard　from　him。　　The
secretary's　wife　had　decided；　after　keeping　him　waiting　till　then；
that　she　couldn't　take　a　servant　out　of　a　house　in　which　there
hadn't　been　a　lady。　　The　note　had　a　P。S。：　　〃It's　a　good　job　there
wasn't；　sir；　such　a　lady　as　some。〃

A　week　later　he　came　to　see　me　and　told　me　he　was　〃suited；〃
committed　to　some　highly　respectable　peoplethey　were　something
quite　immense　in　the　Citywho　lived　on　the　Bayswater　side　of　the
Park。　　〃I　daresay　it　will　be　rather　poor；　sir；〃　he　admitted；　〃but
I've　seen　the　fireworks；　haven't　I；　sir？it　can't　be　fireworks
EVERY　night。　　After　Mansfield　Street　there　ain't　much　choice。〃
There　was　a　certain　amount；　however；　it　seemed；　for　the　following
year；　calling　one　day　on　a　country　cousin；　a　lady　of　a　certain　age
who　was　spending　a　fortnight　in　town　with　some　friends　of　her　own；
a　family　unknown　to　me　and　resident　in　Chester　Square；　the　door　of
the　house　was　opened；　to　my　surprise　and　gratification；　by
Brooksmith　in　person。　　When　I　came　out　I　had　some　conversation　with
him　from　which　I　gathered　that　he　had　found　the　large　City　people
too　dull　for　endurance；　and　I　guessed；　though　he　didn't　say　it；
that　he　had　found　them　vulgar　as　well。　　I　don't　know　what　judgement
he　would　have　passed　on　his　actual　patrons　if　my　relative　hadn't
been　their　friend；　but　in　view　of　that　connexion　he　abstained　from
comment。

None　was　necessary；　however；　for　before　the　lady　in　question
brought　her　visit　to　a　close　they　honoured　me　with　an　invitation　to
dinner；　which　I　accepted。　　There　was　a　largeish　party　on　the
occasion；　but　I　confess　I　thought　of　Brooksmith　rather　more　than　of
the　seated　company。　　They　required　no　depth　of　attentionthey　were
all　referable　to　usual　irredeemable　inevitable　types。　　It　was　the
world　of　cheerful　commonplace　and　conscious　gentility　and
prosperous　density；　a　full…fed　material　insular　world；　a　world　of
hideous　florid　plate　and　ponderous　order　and　thin　conversation。
There　wasn't　a　word　said　about　Byron；　or　even　about　a　minor　bard
then　much　in　view。　　Nothing　would　have　induced　me　to　look　at
Brooksmith　in　the　course　of　the　repast；　and　I　felt　sure　that　not
even　my　overturning　the　wine　would　have　induced　him　to　meet　my　eye。
We　were　in　intellectual　sympathywe　felt；　as　regards　each　other；　a
degree　of　social　responsibility。　　In　short　we　had　been　in　Arcadia
together；　and　we　had　both　come　to　THIS！　　No　wonder　we　were　ashamed
to　be　confronted。　　When　he　had　helped　on　my　overcoat；　as　I　was
going　away；　we　parted；　for　the　first　time　since　the　earliest　days
of　Mansfield　Street；　in　silence。　　I　thought　he　looked　lean　and
wasted；　and　I　guessed　that　his　new　place　wasn't　more　〃human〃　than
his　previous　one。　　There　was　plenty　of　beef　and　beer；　but　there　was
no　reciprocity。　　The　question　for　him　to　h