the argonauts of north liberty-第6部分

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it　would　not。　　But　her　husband？what　kept　him？　　It　was　twelve
o'clock；　he　had　seldom　stayed　out　so　late　before。　　During　the　first
half　hour　of　her　reflections　she　had　been　relieved　by　his　absence；
she　had　even　believed　that　he　had　met　Demorest　in　the　town；　and　was
not　alarmed　by　it；　for　she　knew　that　the　latter　would　avoid　any
further　confidence；　and　cut　short　any　return　to　it。　　But　why　had
not　Edward　returned？　　For　an　instant　the　terrible　thought　that
something　had　happened；　and　that　they　might　both　return　together；
took　possession　of　her；　and　she　trembled。　　But　no；　Demorest；　who
had　already　taken　such　extreme　measures；　could　not　consistently
listen　to　any　suggestion　for　delay。　　As　her　only　danger　lay　in
Demorest's　presence；　the　absence　of　her　husband　caused　her　more
undefinable　uneasiness　than　actual　alarm。

The　room　had　become　cold　with　the　dying　out　of　the　dining…room　fire
that　warmed　the　drum。　　She　would　go　to　bed。　　She　nevertheless
arranged　the　room　again　with　a　singular　impression　that　she　was
doing　it　for　the　last　time　in　her　present　existing　circumstances；
and　placing　the　lamp　on　the　table　in　the　hall；　went　up　to　her　own
room。　　By　the　light　of　a　single　candle　she　undressed　herself
hastily；　said　her　prayers　punctiliously；　and　got　into　bed；　with　an
unexpected　relief　at　finding　herself　still　occupying　it　alone。
Then　she　fell　asleep　and　dreamed　of　Demorest。


CHAPTER　IV


When　Edward　Blandford　found　himself　alone　after　his　wife　had
undertaken　to　fulfil　his　abandoned　filial　duty　at　her　parents'
house；　he　felt　a　slight　twinge　of　self…reproach。　　He　could　not　deny
that　this　was　not　the　first　time　he　had　evaded　the　sterile　Sabbath
evenings　at　his　mother…in…law's；　or　that　even　at　other　times　he　was
not　in　accord　with　the　cold　and　colorless　sanctity　of　the　family。
Yet　he　remembered　that　when　he　picked　out　from　the　budding
womanhood　of　North　Liberty　this　pure；　scentless　blossom；　he　had
endured　the　privations　of　its　surroundings　with　a　sense　of　security
in　inhaling　the　atmosphere　in　which　it　grew；　and　knowing　the
integrity　of　its　descent。　　There　was　a　certain　pleasure　also　in
invading　this　seclusion　with　human　passion；　the　first　pressure　of
her　hand　when　they　were　kneeling　together　at　family　prayers　had　the
zest　without　the　sin　of　a　forbidden　pleasure；　the　first　kiss　he
had　given　her　with　their　heads　over　the　family　Bible　had　fairly
intoxicated　him　in　the　thin；　rarefied　air　of　their　surroundings。　　In
transplanting　this　blossom　to　his　own　home　with　the　fond　belief　that
it　would　eventually　borrow　the　hues　and　color　of　his　own　passion；　he
had　no　further　interest　in　the　house　he　had　left　behind。　　When　he
found；　however；　that　the　ancestral　influence　was　stronger　than　he
expected；　that　the　young　wife；　instead　of　assimilating　to　his
conditions；　had　imported　into　their　little　household　the　rigors　of
her　youthful　home；　he　had　been　chilled　and　disappointed。　　But　he
could　not　help　also　remembering　that　his　own　boyhood　had　been　spent
in　an　atmosphere　like　her　own　in　everything　but　its　sincerity　and
deep　conviction。　　His　father　had　recognized　the　business　value　of
placating　the　narrow　tyranny　of　the　respectable　well…to…do　religious
community；　and　had　become　a　conscious　hypocrite　and　a　popular
citizen。　　He　had　himself　been　under　that　influence；　and　it　was
partly　a　conviction　of　this　that　had　drawn　him　towards　her　as
something　genuine　and　real。　　It　occurred　to　him　now　for　the　first
time；　as　he　looked　around　upon　that　compromise　of　their　two　lives　in
this　chilly　artificial　home；　that　it　was　only　natural　that　she　would
prefer　the　more　truthful　austerities　of　her　mother's　house。　Had　she
detected　the　sham；　and　did　she　despise　him　for　it？

These　were　questions　which　seemed　to　bring　another　self…accusing
doubt　in　his　own　mind；　although；　without　his　being　conscious　of　it；
they　had　been　really　the　outcome　of　that　doubt。　　He　could　not　help
dwelling　on　the　singular　human　interest　she　had　taken　in　Demorest's
love　affair；　and　the　utterly　unexpected　emotion　she　had　shown。　　He
had　never　seen　her　as　charmingly　illogical；　capricious；　and
bewitchingly　feminine。　　Had　he　not　made　a　radical　mistake　in　not
giving　her　a　frequent　provocation　for　this　innocent　emotionin
fact；　in　not　taking　her　out　into　a　world　of　broader　sympathies　and
experiences？　　What　a　household　they　might　have　hadif　necessary
in　some　other　townaway　from　those　cramped　prejudices　and
limitations！　　What　friends　she　might　have　been　with　Dick　and　his
other　worldly　acquaintances；　what　social　pleasuresguiltless
amusements　for　her　pure　mindin　theatres；　parties；　and　concerts！
Would　she　have　objected　to　them？had　he　ever　seriously　proposed
them　to　her？　　No！　if　she　had　objected　there　would　have　been　time
enough　to　have　made　this　present　compromise；　she　would　have　at
least　respected　and　understood　his　sacrificeand　his　friends。

Even　the　artificial　externals　of　his　household　had　never　before　so
visibly　impressed　him。　　Now　that　she　was　no　longer　in　the　room　it
did　not　even　bear　a　trace　of　her　habitation；　it　certainly　bore　no
suggestion　of　his　own。　　Why　had　he　bought　that　hideous　horsehair
furniture？　　To　remind　her　of　the　old　provincial　heirlooms　of　her
father's　sitting…room。　　Did　it　remind　her　of　it？　　The　stiff　and
stony　emptiness　of　this　room　had　been　fashioned　upon　the　decorous
respectability　of　his　own　father's　parlorin　which　his　father；　who
usually　spent　his　slippered　leisure　in　the　family　sitting…room；
never　entered　except　on　visits　from　the　minister。　　It　had　chilled
his　own　youthful　soulwhy　had　he　perpetuated　it　here？

He　could　only　answer　these　questions　by　moodily　wandering　about　the
house；　and　regretting　he　had　not　gone　with　her。　　After　a　vain
attempt　to　establish　social　and　domestic　relations　with　the　hot…air
drum　by　putting　his　feet　upon　itafter　an　equally　futile　attempt
to　extract　interest　from　the　book　of　sermons　by　opening　its　pages
at　randomhe　glanced　at　the　clock　and　suddenly　resolved　to　go　and
fetch　her。　　It　would　remind　him　of　the　old　times　when　he　used　to
accompany　her　from　church；　and；　after　her　parents　had　retired；
spend　a　blissful　half…hour　alone　with　her。　　With　what　a　mingling　of
fear　and　childish　curiosity　she　used　to　accept　his　equally　timid
caresses！　　Yes；　he　would　go　and　fetch　her；　and　he　would　recall　it
to　her　in　a　whisper　while　they　were　there。

Filled　with　this　idea；　when　he　changed　his　clothes　again　he　put　on
a　certain　heavy　beaver　overcoat；　on　whose　shaggy　sleeve　her　little；
hand　had　so　often　rested　when　he　escorted　her　from　meeting；　and　he
even　selected　the　gray　muffler　she　had　knit　for　him　in　the　old
ante…nuptial　days。　　It　was　lying　in　the　half…opened　drawer　from
where　she　had　not　long　before　taken　her　disguising　veil。

It　was　still　blowing　in　sudden；　capricious　gusts；　and　when　he
opened　the　front　door　the　wind　charged　fiercely　upon　him；　as　if　to
drive　him　back。　　When　he　had　finally　forced　his　way　into　the
street；　a　return　current　closed　the　door　as　suddenly　and　sharply
behind　him　as　if　it　had　ejected　him　from　his　home　for　ever。

He　reached　the　fourth　house　quickly；　and　as　quickly　ran　up　the
steps；　his　hand　was　upon　the　bell　when　his　eye　suddenly　caught
sight　of　his　wife's　pass…key　still　in　the　lock。　　She　had　evidently
forgotten　it。　　Here　was　a　chance　to　mischievously　banter　that
habitually　careful　little　woman！　　He　slipped　it　into　his　pocket　and
quietly　entered　the　dark　but　perfectly　familiar　hall。　　He　reached
the　staircase　without　a　stumble　and　began　to　ascend　softly。
Halfway　up　he　heard　the　sound　of　his　wife's　hurried　voice　and
another　that　startled　him。　　He　ascended　hastily　two　steps；　which
brought　him　to　the　level　of　the　half…opened　transom　of　the　kitchen。
A　candle　was　burning　on　the　kitchen　table；　he　could　see　everything
that　passed　in　the　room；　he　could　hear　distinctly　every　word　that
was　uttered。

He　did　not　utter　a　cry　or　sound；　he　did　not　even　tremble。　　He
remained　so　rigid　and　motionless；　clutching　the　banisters　with　his
stiffened　fingers；　that　when　he　did　attempt　to　move；　all　life；　as
well　as　all　that　had　made　life　possible　to　him；　seemed　to　have　died
from　him　for　ever。　　There　was　no　nervous　illusion；　no　dimming　of
his　senses；　he　saw　everything　with　a　hideous　clarity　of　perception。
By　some　diabolical　instantaneous　photography　of　the　brain；　little
actions；　peculiarities；　touches　of　gesture；　expression　and　attitude
never　before　noted　by　him　in　his　wife；　were　clearly　fixed　and
bitten　in　his　consciousness。　　He　saw　the　color　of　his　friend's
overcoat；　the　reddish　tinge　of　his　wife's　brown　hair；　till　then
unnoticed；　in　that　supreme　moment　he　was　aware　of　a　sudden　likeness
to　her　mother；　but　more　terrible　than　all；　there　seemed　to　be　a
nameless　sympathetic　resemblance　that　the　guilty　pair　had　to　each
other　in　gesture　and　movement　as　of　some　unhallowed　relationship
beyond　his　ken。　　He　knew　not　how　long　he　stood　there　without
breath；　without　reflection；　without　one　connected　thought。　　He　saw
her　suddenly　put　her　hand　on　the　handle　of　the　door。　　He　knew　that
in　another　moment　they　would　pass　almost　before　him。　　He　made　a
convulsive　effort　to　move；　with　an　inward　cry　to　God　for　support；
and　succeeded　in　staggering　with　outstretched　palms　against　the
wall；　down　the　staircase；　and　blindly　forward　through　the　hall　to
the　front　door。　　As　yet　he　had　been　able　to　formulate　only　one
ideato　escape　before　them；　for　it　seemed　to　him　that　their
contact　meant　the　ruin　of　them　both；　of　that　house；　of　all　that　was
near　to　hima　catastrophe　that　struck　blindly　at　his　whole　visible
world。　　He　had　reached　the　door　and　opened　it　at　the　moment　that
the　handle　of　the　kitchen…door　was　turned。　　He　mechanically　fell
back　behind　the　open　door　that　hid　him；　while　it　let　the　cruel
light　glimmer　for　a　moment　on　their　clasped　figures。　　The　door
slipped　from　his　nerveless　fingers　and　swung　to　with　a　dull　sound。
Crouching　still　in　the　corner；　he　heard　the　quick　rush　of　hurrying
feet　in　the　darkness；　saw　the　door　open　and　Demorest　glide　outsaw
her　glance　hurriedly　after　him；　close　the　door；　and　involve　herself
and　him　in　the　blackness　of　the　hall。　　Her　dress　almost　touched　him
in　his　corner；　he　could　feel　the　near　scent　of　her　clothes；　and　the
air　stirred　by