the secret sharer-第1部分

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The　Secret　Sharer

by　Joseph　Conrad







I





On　my　right　hand　there　were　lines　of　fishing　stakes　resembling

a　mysterious　system　of　half…submerged　bamboo　fences；

incomprehensible　in　its　division　of　the　domain　of　tropical　fishes；

and　crazy　of　aspect　as　if　abandoned　forever　by　some　nomad

tribe　of　fishermen　now　gone　to　the　other　end　of　the　ocean；

for　there　was　no　sign　of　human　habitation　as　far　as　the　eye

could　reach。　　To　the　left　a　group　of　barren　islets；

suggesting　ruins　of　stone　walls；　towers；　and　blockhouses；

had　its　foundations　set　in　a　blue　sea　that　itself　looked　solid；

so　still　and　stable　did　it　lie　below　my　feet；　even　the　track

of　light　from　the　westering　sun　shone　smoothly；　without　that

animated　glitter　which　tells　of　an　imperceptible　ripple。

And　when　I　turned　my　head　to　take　a　parting　glance　at　the　tug

which　had　just　left　us　anchored　outside　the　bar；　I　saw　the　straight

line　of　the　flat　shore　joined　to　the　stable　sea；　edge　to　edge；

with　a　perfect　and　unmarked　closeness；　in　one　leveled　floor

half　brown；　half　blue　under　the　enormous　dome　of　the　sky。

Corresponding　in　their　insignificance　to　the　islets　of　the　sea；

two　small　clumps　of　trees；　one　on　each　side　of　the　only　fault

in　the　impeccable　joint；　marked　the　mouth　of　the　river　Meinam

we　had　just　left　on　the　first　preparatory　stage　of　our

homeward　journey；　and；　far　back　on　the　inland　level；　a　larger

and　loftier　mass；　the　grove　surrounding　the　great　Paknam　pagoda；

was　the　only　thing　on　which　the　eye　could　rest　from　the　vain

task　of　exploring　the　monotonous　sweep　of　the　horizon。

Here　and　there　gleams　as　of　a　few　scattered　pieces　of　silver　marked

the　windings　of　the　great　river；　and　on　the　nearest　of　them；

just　within　the　bar；　the　tug　steaming　right　into　the　land　became

lost　to　my　sight；　hull　and　funnel　and　masts；　as　though　the　impassive

earth　had　swallowed　her　up　without　an　effort；　without　a　tremor。

My　eye　followed　the　light　cloud　of　her　smoke；　now　here；

now　there；　above　the　plain；　according　to　the　devious　curves

of　the　stream；　but　always　fainter　and　farther　away；　till　I　lost

it　at　last　behind　the　miter…shaped　hill　of　the　great　pagoda。

And　then　I　was　left　alone　with　my　ship；　anchored　at　the　head

of　the　Gulf　of　Siam。



She　floated　at　the　starting　point　of　a　long　journey；　very　still　in　an

immense　stillness；　the　shadows　of　her　spars　flung　far　to　the　eastward

by　the　setting　sun。　　At　that　moment　I　was　alone　on　her　decks。

There　was　not　a　sound　in　herand　around　us　nothing　moved；　nothing　lived；

not　a　canoe　on　the　water；　not　a　bird　in　the　air；　not　a　cloud　in　the　sky。

In　this　breathless　pause　at　the　threshold　of　a　long　passage　we　seemed

to　be　measuring　our　fitness　for　a　long　and　arduous　enterprise；　the　appointed

task　of　both　our　existences　to　be　carried　out；　far　from　all　human　eyes；

with　only　sky　and　sea　for　spectators　and　for　judges。



There　must　have　been　some　glare　in　the　air　to　interfere　with　one's　sight；

because　it　was　only　just　before　the　sun　left　us　that　my　roaming　eyes

made　out　beyond　the　highest　ridges　of　the　principal　islet　of　the　group

something　which　did　away　with　the　solemnity　of　perfect　solitude。

The　tide　of　darkness　flowed　on　swiftly；　and　with　tropical　suddenness

a　swarm　of　stars　came　out　above　the　shadowy　earth；　while　I　lingered　yet；

my　hand　resting　lightly　on　my　ship's　rail　as　if　on　the　shoulder　of　a

trusted　friend。　　But；　with　all　that　multitude　of　celestial　bodies　staring

down　at　one；　the　comfort　of　quiet　communion　with　her　was　gone　for　good。

And　there　were　also　disturbing　sounds　by　this　timevoices；　footsteps　forward；

the　steward　flitted　along　the　main…deck；　a　busily　ministering　spirit；

a　hand　bell　tinkled　urgently　under　the　poop　deck。。。。



I　found　my　two　officers　waiting　for　me　near　the　supper　table；

in　the　lighted　cuddy。　　We　sat　down　at　once；　and　as　I　helped

the　chief　mate；　I　said：



〃Are　you　aware　that　there　is　a　ship　anchored　inside　the　islands？

I　saw　her　mastheads　above　the　ridge　as　the　sun　went　down。〃



He　raised　sharply　his　simple　face；　overcharged　by　a　terrible

growth　of　whisker；　and　emitted　his　usual　ejaculations：

〃Bless　my　soul；　sir！　　You　don't　say　so！〃



My　second　mate　was　a　round…cheeked；　silent　young　man；　grave　beyond

his　years；　I　thought；　but　as　our　eyes　happened　to　meet　I

detected　a　slight　quiver　on　his　lips。　　I　looked　down　at　once。

It　was　not　my　part　to　encourage　sneering　on　board　my　ship。

It　must　be　said；　too；　that　I　knew　very　little　of　my　officers。

In　consequence　of　certain　events　of　no　particular　significance；

except　to　myself；　I　had　been　appointed　to　the　command　only　a

fortnight　before。　　Neither　did　I　know　much　of　the　hands　forward。

All　these　people　had　been　together　for　eighteen　months　or　so；

and　my　position　was　that　of　the　only　stranger　on　board。

I　mention　this　because　it　has　some　bearing　on　what　is　to　follow。

But　what　I　felt　most　was　my　being　a　stranger　to　the　ship；

and　if　all　the　truth　must　be　told；　I　was　somewhat　of　a　stranger

to　myself。　　The　youngest　man　on　board　（barring　the　second　mate）；

and　untried　as　yet　by　a　position　of　the　fullest　responsibility；

I　was　willing　to　take　the　adequacy　of　the　others　for　granted。

They　had　simply　to　be　equal　to　their　tasks；　but　I　wondered

how　far　I　should　turn　out　faithful　to　that　ideal　conception

of　one's　own　personality　every　man　sets　up　for　himself　secretly。





Meantime　the　chief　mate；　with　an　almost　visible　effect　of　collaboration

on　the　part　of　his　round　eyes　and　frightful　whiskers；　was　trying　to　evolve

a　theory　of　the　anchored　ship。　　His　dominant　trait　was　to　take　all　things

into　earnest　consideration。　　He　was　of　a　painstaking　turn　of　mind。

As　he　used　to　say；　he　〃liked　to　account　to　himself〃　for　practically

everything　that　came　in　his　way；　down　to　a　miserable　scorpion

he　had　found　in　his　cabin　a　week　before。　　The　why　and　the　wherefore

of　that　scorpionhow　it　got　on　board　and　came　to　select　his　room

rather　than　the　pantry　（which　was　a　dark　place　and　more　what　a　scorpion

would　be　partial　to）；　and　how　on　earth　it　managed　to　drown　itself

in　the　inkwell　of　his　writing　deskhad　exercised　him　infinitely。

The　ship　within　the　islands　was　much　more　easily　accounted　for；

and　just　as　we　were　about　to　rise　from　table　he　made　his　pronouncement。

She　was；　he　doubted　not；　a　ship　from　home　lately　arrived。　　Probably　she

drew　too　much　water　to　cross　the　bar　except　at　the　top　of　spring　tides。

Therefore　she　went　into　that　natural　harbor　to　wait　for　a　few　days

in　preference　to　remaining　in　an　open　roadstead。



〃That's　so；〃　confirmed　the　second　mate；　suddenly；　in　his

slightly　hoarse　voice。　　〃She　draws　over　twenty　feet。

She's　the　Liverpool　ship　Sephora　with　a　cargo　of　coal。

Hundred　and　twenty…three　days　from　Cardiff。〃



We　looked　at　him　in　surprise。



〃The　tugboat　skipper　told　me　when　he　came　on　board

for　your　letters；　sir；〃　explained　the　young　man。

〃He　expects　to　take　her　up　the　river　the　day　after　tomorrow。〃



After　thus　overwhelming　us　with　the　extent　of　his　information

he　slipped　out　of　the　cabin。　　The　mate　observed　regretfully

that　he　〃could　not　account　for　that　young　fellow's　whims。〃

What　prevented　him　telling　us　all　about　it　at　once；

he　wanted　to　know。



I　detained　him　as　he　was　making　a　move。　　For　the　last　two　days　the　crew　had

had　plenty　of　hard　work；　and　the　night　before　they　had　very　little　sleep。

I　felt　painfully　that　Ia　strangerwas　doing　something　unusual　when　I

directed　him　to　let　all　hands　turn　in　without　setting　an　anchor　watch。

I　proposed　to　keep　on　deck　myself　till　one　o'clock　or　thereabouts。

I　would　get　the　second　mate　to　relieve　me　at　that　hour。



〃He　will　turn　out　the　cook　and　the　steward　at　four；〃　I　concluded；

〃and　then　give　you　a　call。　　Of　course　at　the　slightest　sign　of　any

sort　of　wind　we'll　have　the　hands　up　and　make　a　start　at　once。〃



He　concealed　his　astonishment。　　〃Very　well；　sir。〃　　Outside　the　cuddy

he　put　his　head　in　the　second　mate's　door　to　inform　him　of　my

unheard…of　caprice　to　take　a　five　hours'　anchor　watch　on　myself。

I　heard　the　other　raise　his　voice　incredulously〃What？　The

Captain　himself？〃　　Then　a　few　more　murmurs；　a　door　closed；　then　another。

A　few　moments　later　I　went　on　deck。



My　strangeness；　which　had　made　me　sleepless；　had　prompted　that

unconventional　arrangement；　as　if　I　had　expected　in　those　solitary

hours　of　the　night　to　get　on　terms　with　the　ship　of　which　I

knew　nothing；　manned　by　men　of　whom　I　knew　very　little　more。

Fast　alongside　a　wharf；　littered　like　any　ship　in　port　with　a

tangle　of　unrelated　things；　invaded　by　unrelated　shore　people；

I　had　hardly　seen　her　yet　properly。　　Now；　as　she　lay　cleared　for　sea；

the　stretch　of　her　main…deck　seemed　to　me　very　find　under　the　stars。

Very　fine；　very　roomy　for　her　size；　and　very　inviting。

I　descended　the　poop　and　paced　the　waist；　my　mind　picturing

to　myself　the　coming　passage　through　the　Malay　Archipelago；

down　the　Indian　Ocean；　and　up　the　Atlantic。　　All　its　phases

were　familiar　enough　to　me；　every　characteristic；　all　the

alternatives　which　were　likely　to　face　me　on　the　high　seas

everything！　。　。　。　except　the　novel　responsibility　of　command。

But　I　took　heart　from　the　reasonable　thought　that　the　ship

was　like　other　ships；　the　men　like　other　men；　and　that　the　sea

was　not　likely　to　keep　any　special　surprises　expressly

for　my　discomfiture。



Arrived　at　that　comforting　conclusion；　I　bethought　myself

of　a　cigar　and　went　below　to　get　it。　　All　was　still　down　there。

Everybody　at　the　after　end　of　the　ship　was　sleeping　profoundly。

I　came　out　again　on　the　quarter…deck；　agreeably　at　ease　in　my　sleeping

suit　on　that　warm　breathless　night；　barefooted；　a　glowing　cigar

in　my　teeth；　and；　going　forward；　I　was　met　by　the　profound　silence　of

the　fore　end　of　the　ship。　　Only　as　I　passed　the　door　of　the　forecastle；

I　heard　a　deep；　quiet；　trustful　sigh　of　some　sleeper　inside。

And　suddenly　I　rejoiced　in　the　great　security　of　the　sea　as　compared

with　the　unres