the secret sharer-第4部分

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through　the　Java　Sea；　drifted　about　Carimata　for　ten　days。

When　we　anchored　here　they　thought；　I　suppose；　it　was　all　right。

The　nearest　land　（and　that's　five　miles）　is　the　ship's　destination；

the　consul　would　soon　set　about　catching　me；　and　there　would

have　been　no　object　in　bolding　to　these　islets　there。

I　don't　suppose　there's　a　drop　of　water　on　them。　　I　don't　know

how　it　was；　but　tonight　that　steward；　after　bringing　me　my　supper；

went　out　to　let　me　eat　it；　and　left　the　door　unlocked。

And　I　ate　itall　there　was；　too。　　After　I　had　finished　I　strolled

out　on　the　quarter…deck。　I　don't　know　that　I　meant　to　do　anything。

A　breath　of　fresh　air　was　all　I　wanted；　I　believe。

Then　a　sudden　temptation　came　over　me。　　I　kicked　off　my　slippers

and　was　in　the　water　before　I　had　made　up　my　mind　fairly。

Somebody　heard　the　splash　and　they　raised　an　awful　hullabaloo。

‘He's　gone！　　Lower　the　boats！　　He's　committed　suicide！

No；　he's　swimming。'　　Certainly　I　was　swimming。　　It's　not

so　easy　for　a　swimmer　like　me　to　commit　suicide　by　drowning。

I　landed　on　the　nearest　islet　before　the　boat　left　the　ship's　side。

I　heard　them　pulling　about　in　the　dark；　hailing；　and　so　on；　but　after

a　bit　they　gave　up。　　Everything　quieted　down　and　the　anchorage

became　still　as　death。　　I　sat　down　on　a　stone　and　began　to　think。

I　felt　certain　they　would　start　searching　for　me　at　daylight。

There　was　no　place　to　hide　on　those　stony　things

and　if　there　had　been；　what　would　have　been　the　good？

But　now　I　was　clear　of　that　ship；　I　was　not　going　back。

So　after　a　while　I　took　off　all　my　clothes；　tied　them　up　in　a

bundle　with　a　stone　inside；　and　dropped　them　in　the　deep　water

on　the　outer　side　of　that　islet。　　That　was　suicide　enough　for　me。

Let　them　think　what　they　liked；　but　I　didn't　mean　to　drown　myself。

I　meant　to　swim　till　I　sankbut　that's　not　the　same　thing。

I　struck　out　for　another　of　these　little　islands；　and　it

was　from　that　one　that　I　first　saw　your　riding　light。

Something　to　swim　for。　　I　went　on　easily；　and　on　the　way　I　came

upon　a　flat　rock　a　foot　or　two　above　water。　　In　the　daytime；

I　dare　say；　you　might　make　it　out　with　a　glass　from　your　poop。

I　scrambled　up　on　it　and　rested　myself　for　a　bit。

Then　I　made　another　start。　　That　last　spell　must　have　been

over　a　mile。〃



His　whisper　was　getting　fainter　and　fainter；　and　all　the　time

he　stared　straight　out　through　the　porthole；　in　which　there

was　not　even　a　star　to　be　seen。　　I　had　not　interrupted　him。

There　was　something　that　made　comment　impossible　in　his　narrative；

or　perhaps　in　himself；　a　sort　of　feeling；　a　quality；　which　I　can't　find

a　name　for。　　And　when　he　ceased；　all　I　found　was　a　futile　whisper：

〃So　you　swam　for　our　light？〃



〃Yesstraight　for　it。　　It　was　something　to　swim　for。

I　couldn't　see　any　stars　low　down　because　the　coast　was　in　the　way；

and　I　couldn't　see　the　land；　either。　　The　water　was　like　glass。

One　might　have　been　swimming　in　a　confounded　thousand…feet　deep

cistern　with　no　place　for　scrambling　out　anywhere；　but　what　I　didn't

like　was　the　notion　of　swimming　round　and　round　like　a　crazed

bullock　before　I　gave　out；　and　as　I　didn't　mean　to　go　back。

。　。　No。　Do　you　see　me　being　hauled　back；　stark　naked；

off　one　of　these　little　islands　by　the　scruff　of　the　neck

and　fighting　like　a　wild　beast？　　Somebody　would　have　got　killed

for　certain；　and　I　did　not　want　any　of　that。　　So　I　went　on。

Then　your　ladder〃



〃Why　didn't　you　hail　the　ship？〃　　I　asked；　a　little　louder。



He　touched　my　shoulder　lightly。　　Lazy　footsteps　came　right　over　our　heads

and　stopped。　　The　second　mate　had　crossed　from　the　other　side　of　the　poop

and　might　have　been　hanging　over　the　rail　for　all　we　knew。



〃He　couldn't　hear　us　talkingcould　he？〃　　My　double　breathed

into　my　very　ear；　anxiously。



His　anxiety　was　in　answer；　a　sufficient　answer；　to　the　question

I　had　put　to　him。　　An　answer　containing　all　the　difficulty

of　that　situation。　　I　closed　the　porthole　quietly；　to　make　sure。

A　louder　word　might　have　been　overheard。



〃Who's　that？〃　he　whispered　then。



〃My　second　mate。　　But　I　don't　know　much　more　of　the　fellow　than　you　do。〃



And　I　told　him　a　little　about　myself。　　I　had　been　appointed　to　take

charge　while　I　least　expected　anything　of　the　sort；　not　quite

a　fortnight　ago。　　I　didn't　know　either　the　ship　or　the　people。

Hadn't　had　the　time　in　port　to　look　about　me　or　size　anybody　up。

And　as　to　the　crew；　all　they　knew　was　that　I　was　appointed　to　take

the　ship　home。　　For　the　rest；　I　was　almost　as　much　of　a　stranger　on

board　as　himself；　I　said。　　And　at　the　moment　I　felt　it　most　acutely。

I　felt　that　it　would　take　very　little　to　make　me　a　suspect　person

in　the　eyes　of　the　ship's　company。



He　had　turned　about　meantime；　and　we；　the　two　strangers　in　the　ship；

faced　each　other　in　identical　attitudes。



〃Your　ladder〃　he　murmured；　after　a　silence。　　〃Who'd　have　thought

of　finding　a　ladder　hanging　over　at　night　in　a　ship　anchored　out　here！

I　felt　just　then　a　very　unpleasant　faintness。　　After　the　life　I've

been　leading　for　nine　weeks；　anybody　would　have　got　out　of　condition。

I　wasn't　capable　of　swimming　round　as　far　as　your　rudder　chains。

And；　lo　and　behold！　there　was　a　ladder　to　get　hold　of。

After　I　gripped　it　I　said　to　myself；　‘What's　the　good？'

When　I　saw　a　man's　head　looking　over　I　thought　I　would　swim　away

presently　and　leave　him　shoutingin　whatever　language　it　was。

I　didn't　mind　being　looked　at。　　II　liked　it。　　And　then　you　speaking　to　me

so　quietlyas　if　you　had　expected　memade　me　hold　on　a　little　longer。

It　had　been　a　confounded　lonely　timeI　don't　mean　while　swimming。

I　was　glad　to　talk　a　little　to　somebody　that　didn't　belong　to　the　Sephora。

As　to　asking　for　the　captain；　that　was　a　mere　impulse。　　It　could

have　been　no　use；　with　all　the　ship　knowing　about　me　and　the　other

people　pretty　certain　to　be　round　here　in　the　morning。　　I　don't　know

I　wanted　to　be　seen；　to　talk　with　somebody；　before　I　went　on。

I　don't　know　what　I　would　have　said。　　。　。　。　‘Fine　night；　isn't　it？'

or　something　of　the　sort。〃



〃Do　you　think　they　will　be　round　here　presently？〃

I　asked　with　some　incredulity。



〃Quite　likely；〃　he　said；　faintly。



〃He　looked　extremely　haggard　all　of　a　sudden。　　His　head　rolled

on　his　shoulders。



〃H'm。　We　shall　see　then。　　Meantime　get　into　that　bed；〃　I　whispered。

〃Want　help？　　There。〃



It　was　a　rather　high　bed　place　with　a　set　of　drawers　underneath。

This　amazing　swimmer　really　needed　the　lift　I　gave　him　by　seizing　his　leg。

He　tumbled　in；　rolled　over　on　his　back；　and　flung　one　arm　across　his　eyes。

And　then；　with　his　face　nearly　hidden；　he　must　have　looked　exactly　as　I　used

to　look　in　that　bed。　　I　gazed　upon　my　other　self　for　a　while　before　drawing

across　carefully　the　two　green　serge　curtains　which　ran　on　a　brass　rod。

I　thought　for　a　moment　of　pinning　them　together　for　greater　safety；

but　I　sat　down　on　the　couch；　and　once　there　I　felt　unwilling　to　rise

and　hunt　for　a　pin。　　I　would　do　it　in　a　moment。　　I　was　extremely　tired；

in　a　peculiarly　intimate　way；　by　the　strain　of　stealthiness；

by　the　effort　of　whispering　and　the　general　secrecy　of　this　excitement。

It　was　three　o'clock　by　now　and　I　had　been　on　my　feet　since　nine；

but　I　was　not　sleepy；　I　could　not　have　gone　to　sleep。　　I　sat　there；

fagged　out；　looking　at　the　curtains；　trying　to　clear　my　mind　of　the　confused

sensation　of　being　in　two　places　at　once；　and　greatly　bothered　by　an

exasperating　knocking　in　my　head。　　It　was　a　relief　to　discover　suddenly

that　it　was　not　in　my　head　at　all；　but　on　the　outside　of　the　door。

Before　I　could　collect　myself　the　words　〃Come　in〃　were　out　of　my　mouth；

and　the　steward　entered　with　a　tray；　bringing　in　my　morning　coffee。

I　had　slept；　after　all；　and　I　was　so　frightened　that　I　shouted；

〃This　way！　　I　am　here；　steward；〃　as　though　he　had　been　miles　away。

He　put　down　the　tray　on　the　table　next　the　couch　and　only　then　said；

very　quietly；　〃I　can　see　you　are　here；　sir。〃　　I　felt　him　give　me　a　keen　look；

but　I　dared　not　meet　his　eyes　just　then。　　He　must　have　wondered　why　I

had　drawn　the　curtains　of　my　bed　before　going　to　sleep　on　the　couch。

He　went　out；　hooking　the　door　open　as　usual。



I　heard　the　crew　washing　decks　above　me。　　I　knew　I　would　have

been　told　at　once　if　there　had　been　any　wind。　　Calm；　I　thought；

and　I　was　doubly　vexed。　　Indeed；　I　felt　dual　more　than　ever。

The　steward　reappeared　suddenly　in　the　doorway。

I　jumped　up　from　the　couch　so　quickly　that　he　gave　a　start。



〃What　do　you　want　here？〃



〃Close　your　port；　sirthey　are　washing　decks。〃



〃It　is　closed；〃　I　said；　reddening。



〃Very　well；　sir。〃　　But　he　did　not　move　from　the　doorway　and　returned

my　stare　in　an　extraordinary；　equivocal　manner　for　a　time。

Then　his　eyes　wavered；　all　his　expression　changed；　and　in　a　voice

unusually　gentle；　almost　coaxingly：



〃May　I　come　in　to　take　the　empty　cup　away；　sir？〃



〃Of　course！〃　　I　turned　my　back　on　him　while　he　popped　in　and　out。

Then　I　unhooked　and　closed　the　door　and　even　pushed　the　bolt。

This　sort　of　thing　could　not　go　on　very　long。　　The　cabin　was　as　hot

as　an　oven；　too。　　I　took　a　peep　at　my　double；　and　discovered

that　he　had　not　moved；　his　arm　was　still　over　his　eyes；　but　his

chest　heaved；　his　hair　was　wet；　his　chin　glistened　with　perspiration。

I　reached　over　him　and　opened　the　port。



〃I　must　show　myself　on　deck；〃　I　reflected。



Of　course；　theoretically；　I　could　do　what　I　liked；　with　no

one　to　say　nay　to　me　within　the　whole　circle　of　the　horizon；

but　to　lock　my　cabin　door　and　take　the　key　away　I　did　not　dare。

Directly　I　put　my　head　out　of　the　companion　I　saw　the　group

of　my　two　officers；　the　second　mate　barefooted；　the　chief

mate　in　long　India…rubber　boots；　near　the　break　of　the　poop；

and　the　steward　halfway　down　the　poop　ladder　talking　to　them　eagerly。

He　happened　to　catch　sight　of　me　and　dived；　the　second

ran　down　on　the　main…deck　shouting　some　order　or　other；

and　the　chief　mate