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the secret sharer-第6部分
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〃I did not engage that young fellow。 His people had some
interest with my owners。 I was in a way forced to take him on。
He looked very smart; very gentlemanly; and all that。
But do you knowI never liked him; somehow。 I am a plain man。
You see; he wasn't exactly the sort for the chief mate of a ship
like the Sephora。〃
I had become so connected in thoughts and impressions with the secret
sharer of my cabin that I felt as if I; personally; were being
given to understand that I; too; was not the sort that would
have done for the chief mate of a ship like the Sephora。
I had no doubt of it in my mind。
〃Not at all the style of man。 You understand;〃 he insisted;
superfluously; looking hard at me。
I smiled urbanely。 He seemed at a loss for a while。
〃I suppose I must report a suicide。〃
〃Beg pardon?〃
〃Suicide! That's what I'll have to write to my owners directly I get in。〃
〃Unless you manage to recover him before tomorrow;〃
I assented; dispassionately。 。 。 。 〃I mean; alive。〃
He mumbled something which I really did not catch; and I turned my ear
to him in a puzzled manner。 He fairly bawled:
〃The landI say; the mainland is at least seven miles off my anchorage。〃
〃About that。〃
My lack of excitement; of curiosity; of surprise; of any
sort of pronounced interest; began to arouse his distrust。
But except for the felicitous pretense of deafness I had not tried
to pretend anything。 I had felt utterly incapable of playing
the part of ignorance properly; and therefore was afraid to try。
It is also certain that he had brought some ready…made suspicions
with him; and that he viewed my politeness as a strange and
unnatural phenomenon。 And yet how else could I have received him?
Not heartily! That was impossible for psychological reasons;
which I need not state here。 My only object was to keep off
his inquiries。 Surlily? Yes; but surliness might have provoked
a point…blank question。 From its novelty to him and from its nature;
punctilious courtesy was the manner best calculated to restrain the man。
But there was the danger of his breaking through my defense bluntly。
I could not; I think; have met him by a direct lie; also for psychological
(not moral) reasons。 If he had only known how afraid I was of
his putting my feeling of identity with the other to the test!
But; strangely enough(I thought of it only afterwards)
I believe that he was not a little disconcerted by the reverse
side of that weird situation; by something in me that reminded
him of the man he was seekingsuggested a mysterious similitude
to the young fellow he had distrusted and disliked from the first。
However that might have been; the silence was not very prolonged。
He took another oblique step。
〃I reckon I had no more than a two…mile pull to your ship。
Not a bit more。〃
〃And quite enough; too; in this awful heat;〃 I said。
Another pause full of mistrust followed。 Necessity; they say; is mother
of invention; but fear; too; is not barren of ingenious suggestions。
And I was afraid he would ask me point…blank for news of my other self。
〃Nice little saloon; isn't it?〃 I remarked; as if noticing for the first
time the way his eyes roamed from one closed door to the other。
〃And very well fitted out; too。 Here; for instance;〃 I continued;
reaching over the back of my seat negligently and flinging the door open;
〃is my bathroom。〃
He made an eager movement; but hardly gave it a glance。
I got up; shut the door of the bathroom; and invited him to have
a look round; as if I were very proud of my accomodation。
He had to rise and be shown round; but he went through the business
without any raptures whatever。
〃And now we'll have a look at my stateroom;〃 I declared;
in a voice as loud as I dared to make it; crossing the cabin
to the starboard side with purposely heavy steps。
He followed me in and gazed around。 My intelligent double had vanished。
I played my part。
〃Very convenientisn't it?〃
Very nice。 Very comf 。 。 。〃 He didn't finish and went out
brusquely as if to escape from some unrighteous wiles of mine。
But it was not to be。 I had been too frightened not to feel vengeful;
I felt I had him on the run; and I meant to keep him on the run。
My polite insistence must have had something menacing in it;
because he gave in suddenly。 And I did not let him off a single item;
mate's room; pantry; storerooms; the very sail locker which was
also under the poophe had to look into them all。 When at last I
showed him out on the quarter…deck he drew a long; spiritless sigh;
and mumbled dismally that he must really be going back to his ship now。
I desired my mate; who had joined us; to see to the captain's boat。
The man of whiskers gave a blast on the whistle which he used
to wear hanging round his neck; and yelled; 〃Sephora's away!〃
My double down there in my cabin must have heard; and certainly
could not feel more relieved than I。 Four fellows came running
out from somewhere forward and went over the side; while my
own men; appearing on deck too; lined the rail。 I escorted
my visitor to the gangway ceremoniously; and nearly overdid it。
He was a tenacious beast。 On the very ladder he lingered;
and in that unique; guiltily conscientious manner of sticking
to the point:
〃I say 。 。 。 you 。 。 。 you don't think that〃
I covered his voice loudly:
〃Certainly not。 。 。 。 I am delighted。 Good…by。〃
I had an idea of what he meant to say; and just saved myself
by the privilege of defective hearing。 He was too shaken
generally to insist; but my mate; close witness of that parting;
looked mystified and his face took on a thoughtful cast。
As I did not want to appear as if I wished to avoid all
communication with my officers; he had the opportunity
to address me。
〃Seems a very nice man。 His boat's crew told our chaps a very
extraordinary story; if what I am told by the steward is true。
I suppose you had it from the captain; sir?〃
〃Yes。 I had a story from the captain。〃
〃A very horrible affairisn't it; sir?〃
〃It is。〃
〃Beats all these tales we hear about murders in Yankee ships。〃
〃I don't think it beats them。 I don't think it resembles them
in the least。〃
〃Bless my soulyou don't say so! But of course I've no
acquaintance whatever with American ships; not I so I couldn't
go against your knowledge。 It's horrible enough for me。
。 。 。 But the queerest part is that those fellows seemed to have
some idea the man was hidden aboard here。 They had really。
Did you ever hear of such a thing?〃
〃Preposterousisn't it?〃
We were walking to and fro athwart the quarter…deck。 No one of the crew
forward could be seen (the day was Sunday); and the mate pursued:
〃There was some little dispute about it。 Our chaps took offense。
‘As if we would harbor a thing like that;' they said。
‘Wouldn't you like to look for him in our coal…hole?' Quite a tiff。
But they made it up in the end。 I suppose he did drown himself。
Don't you; sir?〃
〃I don't suppose anything。〃
〃You have no doubt in the matter; sir?〃
〃None whatever。〃
I left him suddenly。 I felt I was producing a bad impression;
but with my double down there it was most trying to be on deck。 And it
was almost as trying to be below。 Altogether a nerve…trying situation。
But on the whole I felt less torn in two when I was with him。
There was no one in the whole ship whom I dared take into
my confidence。 Since the hands had got to know his story;
it would have been impossible to pass him off for anyone else;
and an accidental discovery was to be dreaded now more than ever。
。 。 。
The steward being engaged in laying the table for dinner;
we could talk only with our eyes when I first went down。
Later in the afternoon we had a cautious try at whispering。
The Sunday quietness of the ship was against us; the stillness
of air and water around her was against us; the elements;
the men were against useverything was against us in our
secret partnership; time itselffor this could not go on forever。
The very trust in Providence was; I suppose; denied to his guilt。
Shall I confess that this thought cast me down very much?
And as to the chapter of accidents which counts for so much
in the book of success; I could only hope that it was closed。
For what favorable accident could be expected?
〃Did you hear everything?〃 were my first words as soon as we took
up our position side by side; leaning over my bed place。
He had。 And the proof of it was his earnest whisper; 〃The man told you
he hardly dared to give the order。〃
I understood the reference to be to that saving foresail。
〃Yes。 He was afraid of it being lost in the setting。〃
〃I assure you he never gave the order。 He may think he did;
but he never gave it。 He stood there with me on the break of the poop
after the main topsail blew away; and whimpered about our last hope
positively whimpered about it and nothing elseand the night coming on!
To hear one's skipper go on like that in such weather was enough
to drive any fellow out of his mind。 It worked me up into a sort
of desperation。 I just took it into my own hands and went
away from him; boiling; andBut what's the use telling you?
YOU know! 。 。 。 Do you think that if I had not been pretty fierce
with them I should have got the men to do anything? Not It!
The bo's'n perhaps? Perhaps! It wasn't a heavy seait was a sea
gone mad! I suppose the end of the world will be something like that;
and a man may have the heart to see it coming once and be done with it
but to have to face it day after dayI don't blame anybody。
I was precious little better than the rest。 OnlyI was an officer
of that old coal wagon; anyhow〃
〃I quite understand;〃 I conveyed that sincere assurance into his ear。
He was out of breath with whispering; I
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