treatises on friendship and old age-第6部分

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mind　of　like　character　is　naturally　attracted；　is　the　beginning　of
friendship。〃　When　that　is　the　case　the　rise　of　affection　is　a
necessity。　For　what　can　be　more　irrational　than　to　take　delight　in
many　objects　incapable　of　response；　such　as　office；　fame；　splendid
buildings；　and　personal　decoration；　and　yet　to　take　little　or　none　in
a　sentient　being　endowed　with　virtue；　which　has　the　faculty　of
loving　or；　if　I　may　use　the　expression；　loving　back？　For　nothing　is
really　more　delightful　than　a　return　of　affection；　and　the　mutual
interchange　of　kind　feeling　and　good　offices。　And　if　we　add；　as　we
may　fairly　do；　that　nothing　so　powerfully　attracts　and　draws　one
thing　to　itself　as　likeness　does　to　friendship；　it　wilt　at　once　be
admitted　to　be　true　that　the　good　love　the　good　and　attach　them　to
themselves　as　though　they　were　united　by　blood　and　nature。　For
nothing　can　be　more　eager；　or　rather　greedy；　for　what　is　like　itself
than　nature。　So；　my　dear　Fannius　and　Scaevola；　we　may　look　upon
this　as　an　established　fact；　that　between　good　men　there　is；　as　it
were　of　necessity；　a　kindly　feeling；　which　is　the　source　of
friendship　ordained　by　nature。　　But　this　same　kindliness　affects　the
many　also。　　For　that　is　no　unsympathetic　or　selfish　or　exclusive
virtue；　which　protects　even　whole　nations　and　consults　their　best
interests。　And　that　certainly　it　would　not　have　done　had　it
disdained　all　affection　for　the　common　herd。

Again；　the　believers　in　the　〃interest〃　theory　appear　to　me　to　destroy
the　most　attractive　link　in　the　chain　of　friendship。　For　it　is　not　so
much　what　one　gets　by　a　friend　that　gives　one　pleasure；　as　the
warmth　of　his　feeling；　and　we　only　care　for　a　friend's　service　if　it
has　been　prompted　by　affection。　And　so　far　from　its　being　true　that
lack　of　means　is　a　motive　for　seeking　friendship；　it　is　usually　those
who　being　most　richly　endowed　with　wealth　and　means；　and　above
all　with　virtue　（which；　after　all；　is　a　man's　best　support）；　are　least
in　need　of　another；　that　are　most　openhanded　and　beneficent。
Indeed　I　am　inclined　to　think　that　friends　ought　at　times　to　be　in
want　of　something。　For　instance；　what　scope　would　my　affections
have　had　if　Scipio　had　never　wanted　my　advice　or　co…operation　at
home　or　abroad？　It　is　not　friendship；　then；　that　follows　material
advantage；　but　material　advantage　friendship。

15。　We　must　not　therefore　listen　to　these　superfine　gentlemen
when　they　talk　of　friendship；　which　they　know　neither　in　theory
nor　in　practice。　For　who；　in　heaven's　name；　would　choose　a　life　of
the　greatest　wealth　and　abundance　on　condition　of　neither　loving
or　being　beloved　by　any　creature？　That　is　the　sort　of　life　tyrants
endure。　They；　of　course；　can　count　on　no　fidelity；　no　affection；　no
security　for　the　goodwill　of　any　one。　For　them　all　is　suspicion　and
anxiety；　for　them　there　is　no　possibility　of　friendship。　Who　can
love　one　whom　he　fears；　or　by　whom　he　knows　that　he　is　feared？
Yet　such　men　have　a　show　of　friendship　offered　them；　but　it　is
only　a　fair…weather　show。　If　it　ever　happen　that　they　fall；　as　it
generally　does；　they　will　at　once　understand　how　friendless　they
are。　　So　they　say　Tarquin　observed　in　his　exile　that　he　never　knew
which　of　his　friends　were　real　and　which　sham；　until　he　had　ceased
to　be　able　to　repay　either。　　Though　what　surprises　me　is　that　a　man
of　his　proud　and　overbearing　character　should　have　a　friend　at　all。
And　as　it　was　his　character　that　prevented　his　having　genuine
friends；　so　it　often　happens　in　the　case　of　men　of　unusually　great
means…their　very　wealth　forbids　faithful　friendships。　For　not　only　is
Fortune　blind　herself；　but　she　generally　makes　those　blind　also
who　enjoy　her　favours。　They　are　carried；　so　to　speak；　beyond
themselves　with　self…conceit　and　self…will；　nor　can　anything　be
more　perfectly　intolerable　than　a　successful　fool。　　You　may　often
see　it。　Men　who　before　had　pleasant　manners　enough　undergo　a
complete　change　on　attaining　power　of　office。　They　despise　their
old　friends：　devote　themselves　to　new。

Now；　can　anything　be　more　foolish　than　that　men　who　have　all　the
opportunities　which　prosperity；　wealth；　and　great　means　can
bestow；　should　secure　all　else　which　monev　can　buy…horses；
servants；　splendid　upholstering；　and　costly　plate…but　do　not　secure
friends；　who　are；　if　I　may　use　the　expression；　the　most　valuable
and　beautiful　furniture　of　life？　　And　yet；　when　they　acquire　the
former；　they　know　not　who　will　enjoy　them；　nor　for　whom　they
may　be　taking　all　this　trouble；　for　they　will　one　and　all　eventually
belong　to　the　strongest：　while　each　man　has　a　stable　and
inalienable　ownership　in　his　friendships。　And　even　if　those
possessions；　which　are；　in　a　manner；　the　gifts　of　fortune；　do　prove
permanent；　life　can　never　be　anything　but　joyless　which　is　without
the　consolations　and　companionship　of　friends。

16。　To　turn　to　another　branch　of　our　subject。　　We　must　now
endeavour　to　ascertain　what　limits　are　to　be　observed　in
friendship…what　is　the　boundary…line；　so　to　speak；　beyond　which
our　affection　is　not　to　go。　On　this　point　I　notice　three　opinions；
with　none　of　which　I　agree。　One　is　_that　we　should　love　our　friend
just　as　much　as　we　love　ourselves；　and　no　more；　another；　that　our
affection　to　them　should　exactly　correspond　and　equal　theirs　to　us；
a　third；　that　a　man　should　be　valued　at　exactly　the　same　rate　as　he
values　himself_。　To　not　one　of　these　opinions　do　I　assent。　　The
first；　which　holds　that　our　regard　for　ourselves　is　to　be　the　measure
of　our　regard　for　our　friend；　is　not　true；　for　how　many　things　there
are　which　we　would　never　have　done　for　our　own　sakes；　but　do　for
the　sake　of　a　friend！　We　submit　to　make　requests　from　unworthy
people；　to　descend　even　to　supplication；　to　be　sharper　in　invective；
more　violent　in　attack。　Such　actions　are　nut　creditable　in　our　own
interests；　but　highly　so　in　those　of　our　friends。　There　are　many
advantages　too　which　men　of　upright　character　voluntarily　forego；
or　of　whichh　they　are　content　to　be　deprived；　that　their　friends　may
enjoy　them　rather　than　themselves。

The　second　doctrine　is　that　which　limits　friendship　to　an　exact
equality　in　mutual　good　offices　and　good　feelings。　But　such　a　view
reduces　friendship　to　a　question　of　figures　in　a　spirit　far　too　narrow
and　illiberal；　as　though　the　object　were　to　have　an　exact　balance　in
a　debtor　and　creditor　account。　　True　friendship　appears　to　me　to　be
something　richer　and　more　generous　than　that　comes　to；　and　not　to
be　so　narrowly　on　its　guard　against　giving　more　than　it　receives。　In
such　a　matter　we　must　not　be　always　afraid　of　something　being
wasted　or　running　over　in　our　measure；　or　of　more　than　is　justly
due　being　devoted　to　our　friendship。

But　the　last　limit　proposed　is　the　worst；　namely；　that　a　friend's
estimate　of　himself　is　to　be　the　measure　of　our　estimate　of
him。　It　often　happens　that　a　man　has　too　humble　an　idea　of
himself；　or　takes　too　despairing　a　view　of　his　chance　of　bettering
his　fortune。　　In　such　a　case　a　friend　ought　not　to　take　the　view　of
him　which　he　takes　of　himself。　Rather　he　should　do　all　he　can　to
raise　his　drooping　spirits；　and　lead　him　to　more　cbeerful　hopes　and
thoughts。

We　must　then　find　some　other　limit。　But　I　must　first　mention　the
sentiment　which　used　to　call　forth　Scipio's　severest　criticism。　　He
often　said　that　no　one　ever　gave　utterance　to　anything　more
diametrically　opposed　to　the　spirit　of　friendship　than　the　author　of
the　dictum；　〃You　should　love　your　friend　with　the　consciousness
that　you　may　one　day　hate　him。〃　He　could　not　be　induced　to
believe　that　it　was　rightfully　attributed　to　Bias；　who　was　counted
as　one　of　the　Seven　Sages。　　It　was　the　sentiment　of　some　person
with　sinister　motives　or　selfish　ambition；　or　who　regarded
everything　as　it　affected　his　own　supremacy。　How　can　a　man　be
friends　with　another；　if　he　thinks　it　possible　that　be　may　be　his
enemy？　　Why；　it　will　follow　that　he　must　wish　and　desire　his　friend
to　commit　as　many　mistakes　as　possible；　that　he　may　have　all　the
more　handles　against　him；　and；　conversely；　that　he　must　be
annoyed；　irritated；　and　jealous　at　the　right　actions　or　good　fortune
of　his　friends。　　This　maxim；　then；　let　it　be　whose　it　will；　is　the　utter
destruction　of　friendship。　　The　true　rule　is　to　take　such　care　in　the
selection　of　our　friends　as　never　to　enter　upon　a　friendship　with　a
man　whom　we　could　under　any　circumstances　come　to　hate。　　And
even　if　we　are　unlucky　in　our　choice；　we　must　put　up　with
it…according　to　Scipio…in　preference　to　making　calculations　as　to　a
future　breach。

17。　The　real　limit　to　be　observed　in　friendship　is　this：　the
characters　of　two　friends　must　be　stainless。　There　must　be
complete　harmony　of　interests；　purpose；　and　aims；　without
exception。　　Then　if　the　case　arises　of　a　friend's　wish　（not　strictly
right　in　itself）　calling　for　support　in　a　matter　involvmg　his　life　or
reputation；　we　must　make　some　concession　from　the　straight
path…on　condition；　that　is　to　say；　that　extreme　disgrace　is　not　the
consequence。　　Something　must　be　conceded　to　friendship。　And　yet
we　must　not　be　entirely　careless　of　our　reputation；　nor　regard　the
good　opinion　of　our　fellow…citizens　as　a　weapon　which　we　can
afford　to　despise　in　conducting　the　business　of　our　life；　however
lowering　it　may　be　to　tout　for　it　by　flattery　and　smooth　words。　We
must　by　no　means　abjure　virtue；　which　secures　us　affection。

But　to　return　again　to　Scipio；　the　sole　author　of　the　discourse　on
friendship。　He　used　to　complain　that　there　was　nothing　on　which
men　bestowed　so　little　pains：　that　every　one　could　tell　exactly　how
many　goats　or　sheep　he　had；　but　not　how　many　friends；　and　while
they　took　pains　in　procuring　the　former；　they　were　utterly　careless
in　selecting　friends；　and　possessed　no　particular　marks；　so　to
speak；　or　tokens　by　which　they　might　judge　of　their　suitability　for
friendship。　　Now　the　qualities　we　ought　to　look　out　for　in　making
our　selection　are　firmness；　stability；　constancy。　There　is　a　plentiful
lack　of　men　so　endowed；　and　it　is　difficult　to　form　a　judgment
without　testing。　　Now　this　testing　can　only　be　made　during　the
actual　existence　of　the　friend…ship；　for　friendship　so　often　precedes
the　formation　of　a　judg