the gentle grafter-第16部分

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as　he　worked　mainly　in　the　dark。　So　we　got　off　the　train　in　Los
Perros；　a　fine　little　town　in　the　silver　region。

〃I　had　an　elegant　little　sure　thing　in　the　way　of　a　commercial
slugshot　that　I　intended　to　hit　Bassett　behind　the　ear　with。　I　wasn't
going　to　take　his　money　while　he　was　asleep；　but　I　was　going　to　leave
him　with　a　lottery　ticket　that　would　represent　in　experience　to　him
4；755I　think　that　was　the　amount　he　had　when　we　got　off　the　train。
But　the　first　time　I　hinted　to　him　about　an　investment；　he　turns　on　me
and　disencumbers　himself　of　the　following　terms　and　expressions。

〃'Brother　Peters；'　says　he；　'it　ain't　a　bad　idea　to　go　into　an
enterprise　of　some　kind；　as　you　suggest。　I　think　I　will。　But　if　I　do
it　will　be　such　a　cold　proposition　that　nobody　but　Robert　E。　Peary　and
Charlie　Fairbanks　will　be　able　to　sit　on　the　board　of　directors。'

〃'I　thought　you　might　want　to　turn　your　money　over；'　says　I。

〃'I　do；'　says　he；　'frequently。　I　can't　sleep　on　one　side　all　night。
I'll　tell　you；　Brother　Peters；'　says　he；　'I'm　going　to　start　a　poker
room。　I　don't　seem　to　care　for　the　humdrum　in　swindling；　such　as
peddling　egg…beaters　and　working　off　breakfast　food　on　Barnum　and
Bailey　for　sawdust　to　strew　in　their　circus　rings。　But　the　gambling
business；'　says　he；　'from　the　profitable　side　of　the　table　is　a　good
compromise　between　swiping　silver　spoons　and　selling　penwipers　at　a
Waldorf…Astoria　charity　bazar。'

〃'Then；'　says　I；　'Mr。　Bassett；　you　don't　care　to　talk　over　my　little
business　proposition？'

〃'Why；'　says　he；　'do　you　know；　you　can't　get　a　Pasteur　institute　to
start　up　within　fifty　miles　of　where　I　live。　I　bite　so　seldom。'

〃So；　Bassett　rents　a　room　over　a　saloon　and　looks　around　for　some
furniture　and　chromos。　The　same　night　I　went　to　Monty　Silver's　house；
and　he　let　me　have　200　on　my　prospects。　Then　I　went　to　the　only　store
in　Los　Perros　that　sold　playing　cards　and　bought　every　deck　in　the
house。　The　next　morning　when　the　store　opened　I　was　there　bringing　all
the　cards　back　with　me。　I　said　that　my　partner　that　was　going　to　back
me　in　the　game　had　changed　his　mind；　and　I　wanted　to　sell　the　cards
back　again。　The　storekeeper　took　'em　at　half　price。

〃Yes；　I　was　seventy…five　dollars　loser　up　to　that　time。　But　while　I
had　the　cards　that　night　I　marked　every　one　in　every　deck。　That　was
labor。　And　then　trade　and　commerce　had　their　innings；　and　the　bread　I
had　cast　upon　the　waters　began　to　come　back　in　the　form　of　cottage
pudding　with　wine　sauce。

〃Of　course　I　was　among　the　first　to　buy　chips　at　Bill　Bassett's　game。
He　had　bought　the　only　cards　there　was　to　be　had　in　town；　and　I　knew
the　back　of　every　one　of　them　better　than　I　know　the　back　of　my　head
when　the　barber　shows　me　my　haircut　in　the　two　mirrors。

〃When　the　game　closed　I　had　the　five　thousand　and　a　few　odd　dollars；
and　all　Bill　Bassett　had　was　the　wanderlust　and　a　black　cat　he　had
bought　for　a　mascot。　Bill　shook　hands　with　me　when　I　left。

〃'Brother　Peters；'　says　he；　'I　have　no　business　being　in　business。　I
was　preordained　to　labor。　When　a　No。　1　burglar　tries　to　make　a　James
out　of　his　jimmy　he　perpetrates　an　improfundity。　You　have　a　well…oiled
and　efficacious　system　of　luck　at　cards；'　says　he。　'Peace　go　with
you。'　And　I　never　afterward　sees　Bill　Bassett　again。〃

*****

〃Well；　Jeff；〃　said　I；　when　the　Autolycan　adventurer　seemed　to　have
divulged　the　gist　of　his　tale；　〃I　hope　you　took　care　of　the　money。
That　would　be　a　respectathat　is　a　considerable　working　capital　if
you　should　choose　some　day　to　settle　down　to　some　sort　of　regular
business。〃

〃Me？〃　said　Jeff；　virtuously。　〃You　can　bet　I've　taken　care　of　that　five
thousand。〃

He　tapped　his　coat　over　the　region　of　his　chest　exultantly。

〃Gold　mining　stock；〃　he　explained；　〃every　cent　of　it。　Shares　par　value
one　dollar。　Bound　to　go　up　500　per　cent。　within　a　year。　Non…
assessable。　The　Blue　Gopher　mine。　Just　discovered　a　month　ago。　Better
get　in　yourself　if　you've　any　spare　dollars　on　hand。〃

〃Sometimes；〃　said　I；　〃these　mines　are　not〃

〃Oh；　this　one's　solid　as　an　old　goose；〃　said　Jeff。　〃Fifty　thousand
dollars'　worth　of　ore　in　sight；　and　10　per　cent。　monthly　earnings
guaranteed。〃

He　drew　out　a　long　envelope　from　his　pocket　and　cast　it　on　the　table。

〃Always　carry　it　with　me；〃　said　he。　〃So　the　burglar　can't　corrupt　or
the　capitalist　break　in　and　water　it。〃

I　looked　at　the　beautifully　engraved　certificate　of　stock。

〃In　Colorado；　I　see；〃　said　I。　〃And；　by　the　way；　Jeff；　what　was　the
name　of　the　little　man　who　went　to　Denverthe　one　you　and　Bill　met　at
the　station？〃

〃Alfred　E。　Ricks；〃　said　Jeff；　〃was　the　toad's　designation。〃

〃I　see；〃　said　I；　〃the　president　of　this　mining　company　signs　himself
A。　L。　Fredericks。　I　was　wondering〃

〃Let　me　see　that　stock；〃　said　Jeff　quickly；　almost　snatching　it　from
me。

To　mitigate；　even　though　slightly；　the　embarrassment　I　summoned　the
waiter　and　ordered　another　bottle　of　the　Barbera。　I　thought　it　was　the
least　I　could　do。



XII

A　TEMPERED　WIND

The　first　time　my　optical　nerves　was　disturbed　by　the　sight　of
Buckingham　Skinner　was　in　Kansas　City。　I　was　standing　on　a　corner　when
I　see　Buck　stick　his　straw…colored　head　out　of　a　third…story　window　of
a　business　block　and　holler；　〃Whoa；　there！　Whoa！〃　like　you　would　in
endeavoring　to　assuage　a　team　of　runaway　mules。

I　looked　around；　but　all　the　animals　I　see　in　sight　is　a　policeman；
having　his　shoes　shined；　and　a　couple　of　delivery　wagons　hitched　to
posts。　Then　in　a　minute　downstairs　tumbles　this　Buckingham　Skinner；
and　runs　to　the　corner；　and　stands　and　gazes　down　the　other　street　at
the　imaginary　dust　kicked　up　by　the　fabulous　hoofs　of　the　fictitious
team　of　chimerical　quadrupeds。　And　then　B。　Skinner　goes　back　up　to　the
third…story　room　again；　and　I　see　that　the　lettering　on　the　window　is
〃The　Farmers'　Friend　Loan　Company。〃

By　and　by　Straw…top　comes　down　again；　and　I　crossed　the　street　to　meet
him；　for　I　had　my　ideas。　Yes；　sir；　when　I　got　close　I　could　see　where
he　overdone　it。　He　was　Reub　all　right　as　far　as　his　blue　jeans　and
cowhide　boots　went；　but　he　had　a　matinee　actor's　hands；　and　the　rye
straw　stuck　over　his　ear　looked　like　it　belonged　to　the　property　man
of　the　Old　Homestead　Co。　Curiosity　to　know　what　his　graft　was　got　the
best　of　me。

〃Was　that　your　team　broke　away　and　run　just　now？〃　I　asks　him；　polite。
〃I　tried　to　stop　'em；〃　says　I；　〃but　I　couldn't。　I　guess　they're　half
way　back　to　the　farm　by　now。〃

〃Gosh　blame　them　darned　mules；〃　says　Straw…top；　in　a　voice　so　good
that　I　nearly　apologized；　〃they're　a'lus　bustin'　loose。〃　And　then　he
looks　at　me　close；　and　then　he　takes　off　his　hayseed　hat；　and　says；　in
a　different　voice：　〃I'd　like　to　shake　hands　with　Parleyvoo　Pickens；
the　greatest　street　man　in　the　West；　barring　only　Montague　Silver；
which　you　can　no　more　than　allow。〃

I　let　him　shake　hands　with　me。

〃I　learned　under　Silver；〃　I　said；　〃I　don't　begrudge　him　the　lead。　But
what's　your　graft；　son？　I　admit　that　the　phantom　flight　of　the　non…
existing　animals　at　which　you　remarked　'Whoa！'　has　puzzled　me
somewhat。　How　do　you　win　out　on　the　trick？〃

Buckingham　Skinner　blushed。

〃Pocket　money；〃　says　he；　〃that's　all。　I　am　temporarily　unfinanced。
This　little　coup　de　rye　straw　is　good　for　forty　dollars　in　a　town　of
this　size。　How　do　I　work　it？　Why；　I　involve　myself；　as　you　perceive；
in　the　loathsome　apparel　of　the　rural　dub。　Thus　embalmed　I　am　Jonas
Stubblefielda　name　impossible　to　improve　upon。　I　repair　noisily　to
the　office　of　some　loan　company　conveniently　located　in　the　third…
floor；　front。　There　I　lay　my　hat　and　yarn　gloves　on　the　floor　and　ask
to　mortgage　my　farm　for　2；000　to　pay　for　my　sister's　musical
education　in　Europe。　Loans　like　that　always　suit　the　loan　companies。
It's　ten　to　one　that　when　the　note　falls　due　the　foreclosure　will　be
leading　the　semiquavers　by　a　couple　of　lengths。

〃Well；　sir；　I　reach　in　my　pocket　for　the　abstract　of　title；　but　I
suddenly　hear　my　team　running　away。　I　run　to　the　window　and　emit　the
wordor　exclamation；　which…ever　it　may　beviz；　'Whoa！'　Then　I　rush
down…stairs　and　down　the　street；　returning　in　a　few　minutes。　'Dang
them　mules；'　I　says；　'they　done　run　away　and　busted　the　doubletree　and
two　traces。　Now　I　got　to　hoof　it　home；　for　I　never　brought　no　money
along。　Reckon　we'll　talk　about　that　loan　some　other　time；　gen'lemen。'

〃Then　I　spreads　out　my　tarpaulin；　like　the　Israelites；　and　waits　for
the　manna　to　drop。

〃'Why；　no；　Mr。　Stubblefield；'　says　the　lobster…colored　party　in　the
specs　and　dotted　pique　vest；　'oblige　us　by　accepting　this　ten…dollar
bill　until　to…morrow。　Get　your　harness　repaired　and　call　in　at　ten。
We'll　be　pleased　to　accommodate　you　in　the　matter　of　this　loan。'

〃It's　a　slight　thing；〃　says　Buckingham　Skinner；　modest；　〃but；　as　I
said；　only　for　temporary　loose　change。〃

〃It's　nothing　to　be　ashamed　of；〃　says　I；　in　respect　for　his
mortification；　〃in　case　of　an　emergency。　Of　course；　it's　small
compared　to　organizing　a　trust　or　bridge　whist；　but　even　the　Chicago
University　had　to　be　started　in　a　small　way。〃

〃What's　your　graft　these　days？〃　Buckingham　Skinner　asks　me。

〃The　legitimate；〃　says　I。　〃I'm　handling　rhinestones　and　Dr。　Oleum
Sinapi's　Electric　Headache　Battery　and　the　Swiss　Warbler's　Bird　Call；
a　small　lot　of　the　new　queer　ones　and　twos；　and　the　Bonanza　Budget；
consisting　of　a　rolled…gold　wedding　and　engagement　ring；　six　Egyptian
lily　bulbs；　a　combination　pickle　fork　and　nail…clipper；　and　fifty
engraved　visiting　cardsno　two　names　alikeall　for　the　sum　of　38
cents。〃

〃Two　months　ago；〃　says　Buckingham　Skinner；　〃I　was　doing　well　down　in
Texas　with　a　patent　instantaneous　fire　kindler；　made　of　compressed
wood　ashes　and　benzine。　I　sold　loads　of　'em　in　towns　where　they　like
to　burn　niggers　quick；　without　having　to　ask　somebody　for　a　light。　And
just　when　I　was　doing　the　best　they　strikes　oil　down　there　and　puts　me
out　of　business。　'Your　machine's　too　slow；　now；　pardner；'　they　tells
me。　'We　can　have　a　coon　in　hell　with　this　here　petroleum　before　your
old　flint…and…tinder　truck　can　get　him　warm　enough　to　perfess
religion。'　And　so　I　gives　up　the　kindler　and　drifts　up　here　to　K。C。
This　little　curtain…raiser　you　se