the gentle grafter-第24部分

快捷操作: 按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页 按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页 按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部! 如果本书没有阅读完，想下次继续接着阅读，可使用上方 "收藏到我的浏览器" 功能 和 "加入书签" 功能！



〃'He's　a　mighty　fine　pig；'　says　I；　scratching　him　on　the　back。

〃'You　called　him　a　lot　of　names　last　night；'　says　Rufe。

〃'Oh；　well；'　says　I；　'he　looks　better　to　me　this　morning。　I　was　raised
on　a　farm；　and　I'm　very　fond　of　pigs。　I　used　to　go　to　bed　at　sundown；
so　I　never　saw　one　by　lamplight　before。　Tell　you　what　I'll　do；　Rufe；'
I　says。　'I'll　give　you　ten　dollars　for　that　pig。'

〃'I　reckon　I　wouldn't　sell　this　shoat；'　says　he。　'If　it　was　any　other
one　I　might。'

〃'Why　not　this　one？'　I　asked；　fearful　that　he　might　know　something。

〃'Why；　because；'　says　he；　'it　was　the　grandest　achievement　of　my　life。
There　ain't　airy　other　man　that　could　have　done　it。　If　I　ever　have　a
fireside　and　children；　I'll　sit　beside　it　and　tell　'em　how　their　daddy
toted　off　a　shoat　from　a　whole　circus　full　of　people。　And　maybe　my
grandchildren；　too。　They'll　certainly　be　proud　a　whole　passel。　Why；'
says　he；　'there　was　two　tents；　one　openin'　into　the　other。　This　shoat
was　on　a　platform；　tied　with　a　little　chain。　I　seen　a　giant　and　a　lady
with　a　fine　chance　of　bushy　white　hair　in　the　other　tent。　I　got　the
shoat　and　crawled　out　from　under　the　canvas　again　without　him
squeakin'　as　loud　as　a　mouse。　I　put　him　under　my　coat；　and　I　must　have
passed　a　hundred　folks　before　I　got　out　where　the　streets　was　dark。　I
reckon　I　wouldn't　sell　that　shoat；　Jeff。　I'd　want　ma　to　keep　it；　so
there'd　be　a　witness　to　what　I　done。'

〃'The　pig　won't　live　long　enough；'　I　says；　'to　use　as　an　exhibit　in
your　senile　fireside　mendacity。　Your　grandchildren　will　have　to　take
your　word　for　it。　I'll　give　you　one　hundred　dollars　for　the　animal。'

〃Rufe　looked　at　me　astonished。

〃'The　shoat　can't　be　worth　anything　like　that　to　you；'　he　says。　'What
do　you　want　him　for？'

〃'Viewing　me　casuistically；'　says　I；　with　a　rare　smile；　'you　wouldn't
think　that　I've　got　an　artistic　side　to　my　temper。　But　I　have。　I'm　a
collector　of　pigs。　I've　scoured　the　world　for　unusual　pigs。　Over　in
the　Wabash　Valley　I've　got　a　hog　ranch　with　most　every　specimen　on　it；
from　a　Merino　to　a　Poland　China。　This　looks　like　a　blooded　pig　to　me；
Rufe；'　says　I。　'I　believe　it's　a　genuine　Berkshire。　That's　why　I'd
like　to　have　it。'

〃'I'd　shore　like　to　accommodate　you；'　says　he；　'but　I've　got　the
artistic　tenement；　too。　I　don't　see　why　it　ain't　art　when　you　can
steal　a　shoat　better　than　anybody　else　can。　Shoats　is　a　kind　of
inspiration　and　genius　with　me。　Specially　this　one。　I　wouldn't　take
two　hundred　and　fifty　for　that　animal。'

〃'Now；　listen；'　says　I；　wiping　off　my　forehead。　'It's　not　so　much　a
matter　of　business　with　me　as　it　is　art；　and　not　so　much　art　as　it　is
philanthropy。　Being　a　connoisseur　and　disseminator　of　pigs；　I　wouldn't
feel　like　I'd　done　my　duty　to　the　world　unless　I　added　that　Berkshire
to　my　collection。　Not　intrinsically；　but　according　to　the　ethics　of
pigs　as　friends　and　coadjutors　of　mankind；　I　offer　you　five　hundred
dollars　for　the　animal。'

〃'Jeff；'　says　this　pork　esthete；　'it　ain't　money；　it's　sentiment　with
me。'

〃'Seven　hundred；'　says　I。

〃'Make　it　eight　hundred；'　says　Rufe；　'and　I'll　crush　the　sentiment　out
of　my　heart。'

〃I　went　under　my　clothes　for　my　money…belt；　and　counted　him　out　forty
twenty…dollar　gold　certificates。

〃'I'll　just　take　him　into　my　own　room；'　says　I；　'and　lock　him　up　till
after　breakfast。'

〃I　took　the　pig　by　the　hind　leg。　He　turned　on　a　squeal　like　the　steam
calliope　at　the　circus。

〃'Let　me　tote　him　in　for　you；'　says　Rufe；　and　he　picks　up　the　beast
under　one　arm；　holding　his　snout　with　the　other　hand；　and　packs　him
into　my　room　like　a　sleeping　baby。

〃After　breakfast　Rufe；　who　had　a　chronic　case　of　haberdashery　ever
since　I　got　his　trousseau；　says　he　believes　he　will　amble　down　to
Misfitzky's　and　look　over　some　royal…purple　socks。　And　then　I　got　as
busy　as　a　one…armed　man　with　the　nettle…rash　pasting　on　wall…paper。　I
found　an　old　Negro　man　with　an　express　wagon　to　hire；　and　we　tied　the
pig　in　a　sack　and　drove　down　to　the　circus　grounds。

〃I　found　George　B。　Tapley　in　a　little　tent　with　a　window　flap　open。　He
was　a　fattish　man　with　an　immediate　eye；　in　a　black　skull…cap；　with　a
four…ounce　diamond　screwed　into　the　bosom　of　his　red　sweater。

〃'Are　you　George　B。　Tapley？'　I　asks。

〃'I　swear　it；'　says　he。

〃'Well；　I've　got　it；'　says　I。

〃'Designate；'　says　he。　'Are　you　the　guinea　pigs　for　the　Asiatic　python
or　the　alfalfa　for　the　sacred　buffalo？'

〃'Neither；'　says　I。　'I've　got　Beppo；　the　educated　hog；　in　a　sack　in
that　wagon。　I　found　him　rooting　up　the　flowers　in　my　front　yard　this
morning。　I'll　take　the　five　thousand　dollars　in　large　bills；　if　it's
handy。'

〃George　B。　hustles　out　of　his　tent；　and　asks　me　to　follow。　We　went
into　one　of　the　side…shows。　In　there　was　a　jet　black　pig　with　a　pink
ribbon　around　his　neck　lying　on　some　hay　and　eating　carrots　that　a　man
was　feeding　to　him。

〃'Hey；　Mac；'　calls　G。　B。　'Nothing　wrong　with　the　world…wide　this
morning；　is　there？'

〃'Him？　No；'　says　the　man。　'He's　got　an　appetite　like　a　chorus　girl　at
1　A。M。'

〃'How'd　you　get　this　pipe？'　says　Tapley　to　me。　'Eating　too　many　pork
chops　last　night？'

〃I　pulls　out　the　paper　and　shows　him　the　ad。

〃'Fake；'　says　he。　'Don't　know　anything　about　it。　You've　beheld　with
your　own　eyes　the　marvelous；　world…wide　porcine　wonder　of　the　four…
footed　kingdom　eating　with　preternatural　sagacity　his　matutinal　meal；
unstrayed　and　unstole。　Good　morning。'

〃I　was　beginning　to　see。　I　got　in　the　wagon　and　told　Uncle　Ned　to
drive　to　the　most　adjacent　orifice　of　the　nearest　alley。　There　I　took
out　my　pig；　got　the　range　carefully　for　the　other　opening；　set　his
sights；　and　gave　him　such　a　kick　that　he　went　out　the　other　end　of　the
alley　twenty　feet　ahead　of　his　squeal。

〃Then　I　paid　Uncle　Ned　his　fifty　cents；　and　walked　down　to　the
newspaper　office。　I　wanted　to　hear　it　in　cold　syllables。　I　got　the
advertising　man　to　his　window。

〃'To　decide　a　bet；'　says　I；　'wasn't　the　man　who　had　this　ad。　put　in
last　night　short　and　fat；　with　long　black　whiskers　and　a　club…foot？'

〃'He　was　not；'　says　the　man。　'He　would　measure　about　six　feet　by　four
and　a　half　inches；　with　corn…silk　hair；　and　dressed　like　the　pansies
of　the　conservatory。'

〃At　dinner　time　I　went　back　to　Mrs。　Peevy's。

〃'Shall　I　keep　some　soup　hot　for　Mr。　Tatum　till　he　comes　back？'　she
asks。

〃'If　you　do；　ma'am；'　says　I；　'you'll　more　than　exhaust　for　firewood
all　the　coal　in　the　bosom　of　the　earth　and　all　the　forests　on　the
outside　of　it。'

〃So　there；　you　see；〃　said　Jefferson　Peters；　in　conclusion；　〃how　hard
it　is　ever　to　find　a　fair…minded　and　honest　business…partner。〃

〃But；〃　I　began；　with　the　freedom　of　long　acquaintance；　〃the　rule
should　work　both　ways。　If　you　had　offered　to　divide　the　reward　you
would　not　have　lost〃

Jeff's　look　of　dignified　reproach　stopped　me。

〃That　don't　involve　the　same　principles　at　all；〃　said　he。　〃Mine　was　a
legitimate　and　moral　attempt　at　speculation。　Buy　low　and　sell　high
don't　Wall　Street　endorse　it？　Bulls　and　bears　and　pigswhat's　the
difference？　Why　not　bristles　as　well　as　horns　and　fur？〃





End