a dream of armageddom-第3部分

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suddenly；　as　he　was　imagining　his　eloquence　was　gaining　ground　with

me。



〃'What　have　I　to　do　with　these　things　now？'　I　said。　　'I　have

done　with　them。　　Do　you　think　I　am　coquetting　with　your　people　in

coming　here？'



〃'No；'　he　said。　　'But'



〃'Why　　cannot　you　leave　me　alone。　　I　have　done　with　these

things。　　I　have　ceased　to　be　anything　but　a　private　man。'



〃'Yes；'　he　answered。　　'But　have　you　thought？this　talk　of

war；　these　reckless　challenges；　these　wild　aggressions'



〃I　stood　up。



〃'No；'　I　cried。　　'I　won't　hear　you。　　I　took　count　of　all　those

things；　I　weighed　themand　I　have　come　away。'



〃He　seemed　to　consider　the　possibility　of　persistence。　　He

looked　from　me　to　where　the　lady　sat　regarding　us。



〃'War；'　he　said；　as　if　he　were　speaking　to　himself；　and　then

turned　slowly　from　me　and　walked　away。



〃I　stood；　caught　in　the　whirl　of　thoughts　his　appeal　had　set

going。



〃I　heard　my　lady's　voice。



〃'Dear；'　she　said；　'but　if　they　had　need　of　you'



〃She　did　not　finish　her　sentence；　she　let　it　rest　there。　　I

turned　to　her　sweet　face；　and　the　balance　of　my　mood　swayed　and

reeled。



〃'They　want　me　only　to　do　the　thing　they　dare　not　do

themselves；'　I　said。　　'If　they　distrust　Evesham　they　must　settle

with　him　themselves。'



〃She　looked　at　me　doubtfully。



〃'But　war'　she　said。



〃I　saw　a　doubt　on　her　face　that　I　had　seen　before；　a　doubt　of

herself　and　me；　the　first　shadow　of　the　discovery　that；　seen

strongly　and　completely；　must　drive　us　apart　for　ever。



〃Now；　I　was　an　older　mind　than　hers；　and　I　could　sway　her　to

this　belief　or　that。



〃'My　dear　one；'　I　said；　'you　must　not　trouble　over　these

things。　　There　will　be　no　war。　　Certainly　there　will　be　no　war。　

The　age　of　wars　is　past。　　Trust　me　to　know　the　justice　of　this

case。　　They　have　no　right　upon　me；　dearest；　and　no　one　has　a　right

upon　me。　　I　have　been　free　to　choose　my　life；　and　I　have　chosen

this。'



〃'But　war；'　she　said。



〃I　sat　down　beside　her。　　I　put　an　arm　behind　her　and　took　her

hand　in　mine。　　I　set　myself　to　drive　that　doubt　awayI　set　myself

to　fill　her　mind　with　pleasant　things　again。　　I　lied　to　her；　and　in

lying　to　her　I　lied　also　to　myself。　　And　she　was　only　too　ready　to

believe　me；　only　too　ready　to　forget。



〃Very　soon　the　shadow　had　gone　again；　and　we　were　hastening　to

our　bathing…place　in　the　Grotta　del　Bovo　Marino；　where　it　was　our

custom　to　bathe　every　day。　　We　swam　and　splashed　one　another；　and

in　that　buoyant　water　I　seemed　to　become　something　lighter　and

stronger　than　a　man。　　And　at　last　we　came　out　dripping　and

rejoicing　and　raced　among　the　rocks。　　And　then　I　put　on　a　dry

bathing…dress；　and　we　sat　to　bask　in　the　sun；　and　presently　I

nodded；　resting　my　head　against　her　knee；　and　she　put　her　hand　upon

my　hair　and　stroked　it　softly　and　I　dozed。　　And　behold！　as　it

were　with　the　snapping　of　the　string　of　a　violin；　I　was　awakening；

and　I　was　in　my　own　bed　in　Liverpool；　in　the　life　of　to…day。



〃Only　for　a　time　I　could　not　believe　that　all　these　vivid

moments　had　been　no　more　than　the　substance　of　a　dream。



〃In　truth；　I　could　not　believe　it　a　dream　for　all　the　sobering

reality　of　things　about　me。　　I　bathed　and　dressed　as　it　were　by

habit；　and　as　I　shaved　I　argued　why　I　of　all　men　should　leave　the

woman　I　loved　to　go　back　to　fantastic　politics　in　the　hard　and

strenuous　north。　　Even　if　Evesham　did　force　the　world　back　to　war；

what　was　that　to　me？　　I　was　a　man　with　the　heart　of　a　man；　and　why

should　I　feel　the　responsibility　of　a　deity　for　the　way　the　world

might　go？



〃You　know　that　is　not　quite　the　way　I　think　about　affairs；

about　my　real　affairs。　　I　am　a　solicitor；　you　know；　with　a　point　of

view。



〃The　vision　was　so　real；　you　must　understand；　so　utterly

unlike　a　dream　that　I　kept　perpetually　recalling　little　irrelevant

details；　even　the　ornament　of　the　book…cover　that　lay　on　my　wife's

sewing…machine　in　the　breakfast…room　recalled　with　the　utmost

vividness　the　gilt　line　that　ran　about　the　seat　in　the　alcove　where

I　had　talked　with　the　messenger　from　my　deserted　party。　　Have　you

ever　heard　of　a　dream　that　had　a　quality　like　that？〃



〃Like？〃



〃So　that　afterwards　you　remembered　little　details　you　had

forgotten。〃



I　thought。　　I　had　never　noticed　the　point　before；　but　he　was

right。



〃Never；〃　I　said。　　〃That　is　what　you　never　seem　to　do　with

dreams。〃



〃No；〃　he　answered。　　〃But　that　is　just　what　I　did。　　I　am　a

solicitor；　you　must　understand；　in　Liverpool；　and　I　could　not　help

wondering　what　the　clients　and　business　people　I　found　myself

talking　to　in　my　office　would　think　if　I　told　them　suddenly　I　was

in　love　with　a　girl　who　would　be　born　a　couple　of　hundred　years　or

so　hence；　and　worried　about　the　politics　of　my　great…great…great…

grandchildren。　　I　was　chiefly　busy　that　day　negotiating　a

ninety…nine…year　building　lease。　　It　was　a　private　builder　in　a

hurry；　and　we　wanted　to　tie　him　in　every　possible　way。　　I　had　an

interview　with　him；　and　he　showed　a　certain　want　of　temper　that

sent　me　to　bed　still　irritated。　　That　night　I　had　no　dream。　　Nor

did　I　dream　the　next　night；　at　least；　to　remember。



〃Something　of　that　intense　reality　of　conviction　vanished。　　I

began　to　feel　sure　it　was　a　dream。　　And　then　it　came　again。



〃When　the　dream　came　again；　nearly　four　days　later；　it　was

very　different。　　I　think　it　certain　that　four　days　had　also　elapsed

in　the　dream。　　Many　things　had　happened　in　the　north；　and　the

shadow　of　them　was　back　again　between　us；　and　this　time　it　was　not

so　easily　dispelled。　　I　began　I　know　with　moody　musings。　　Why；　in

spite　of　all；　should　I　go　back；　go　back　for　all　the　rest　of　my　days

to　toil　and　stress；　insults　and　perpetual　dissatisfaction；　simply

to　save　hundreds　of　millions　of　common　people；　whom　I　did　not　love；

whom　too　often　I　could　do　no　other　than　despise；　from　the　stress

and　anguish　of　war　and　infinite　misrule？　　And　after　all　I　might

fail。　　They　all　sought　their　own　narrow　ends；　and　why　should　not

Iwhy　should　not　I　also　live　as　a　man？　　And　out　of　such　thoughts

her　voice　summoned　me；　and　I　lifted　my　eyes。



I　found　myself　awake　and　walking。　　We　had　come　out　above　the

Pleasure　City；　we　were　near　the　summit　of　Monte　Solaro　and　looking

towards　the　bay。　　It　was　the　late　afternoon　and　very　clear。　　Far

away　to　the　left　Ischia　hung　in　a　golden　haze　between　sea　and　sky；

and　Naples　was　coldly　white　against　the　hills；　and　before　us　was

Vesuvius　with　a　tall　and　slender　streamer　feathering　at　last

towards　the　south；　and　the　ruins　of　Torre　dell'　Annunziata　and

Castellammare　glittering　and　near。〃



I　interrupted　suddenly：　〃You　have　been　to　Capri；　of　course？〃



〃Only　in　this　dream；〃　he　said；　〃only　in　this　dream。　　All

across　the　bay　beyond　Sorrento　were　the　floating　palaces　of　the

Pleasure　City　moored　and　chained。　　And　northward　were　the　broad

floating　stages　that　received　the　aeroplanes。　　Aeroplanes　fell　out

of　the　sky　every　afternoon；　each　bringing　its　thousands　of

pleasure…seekers　from　the　uttermost　parts　of　the　earth　to　Capri　and

its　delights。　　All　these　things；　I　say；　stretched　below。



〃But　we　noticed　them　only　incidentally　because　of　an　unusual

sight　that　evening　had　to　show。　　Five　war　aeroplanes　that　had　long

slumbered　useless　in　the　distant　arsenals　of　the　Rhinemouth　were

manoeuvring　now　in　the　eastward　sky。　　Evesham　had　astonished　the

world　by　producing　them　and　others；　and　sending　them　to　circle　here

and　there。　　It　was　the　threat　material　in　the　great　game　of　bluff

he　was　playing；　and　it　had　taken　even　me　by　surprise。　　He　was　one

of　those　incredibly　stupid　energetic　people　who　seem　sent　by　heaven

to　create　disasters。　　His　energy　to　the　first　glance　seemed　so

wonderfully　like　capacity！　　But　he　had　no　imagination；　no

invention；　only　a　stupid；　vast；　driving　force　of　will；　and　a　mad

faith　in　his　stupid　idiot　'luck'　to　pull　him　through。　　I　remember

how　we　stood　upon　the　headland　watching　the　squadron　circling　far

away；　and　how　I　weighed　the　full　meaning　of　the　sight；　seeing

clearly　the　way　things　must　go。　　And　then　even　it　was　not　too　late。



I　might　have　gone　back；　I　think；　and　saved　the　world。　　The　people

of　the　north　would　follow　me；　I　knew；　granted　only　that　in　one

thing　I　respected　their　moral　standards。　　The　east　and　south　would

trust　me　as　they　would　trust　no　other　northern　man。　　And　I　knew

I　had　only　to　put　it　to　her　and　she　would　have　let　me　go　。　。　。　。

Not　because　she　did　not　love　me！



〃Only　I　did　not　want　to　go；　my　will　was　all　the　other　way

about。　　I　had　so　newly　thrown　off　the　incubus　of　responsibility：　I

was　still　so　fresh　a　renegade　from　duty　that　the　daylight　clearness

of　what　I　ought　to　do　had　no　power　at　all　to　touch　my　will。　　My

will　was　to　live；　to　gather　pleasures　and　make　my　dear　lady　happy。　

But　though　this　sense　of　vast　neglected　duties　had　no　power　to　draw

me；　it　could　make　me　silent　and　preoccupied；　it　robbed　the　days　I

had　spent　of　half　their　brightness　and　roused　me　into　dark

meditations　in　the　silence　of　the　night。　　And　as　I　stood　and

watched　Evesham's　aeroplanes　sweep　to　and　frothose　birds　of

infinite　ill　omenshe　stood　beside　me　watching　me；　perceiving　the

trouble　indeed；　but　not　perceiving　it　clearlyher　eyes　questioning

my　face；　her　expression　shaded　with　perplexity。　　Her　face　was　gray

because　the　sunset　was　fading　out　of　the　sky。　　It　was　no　fault　of

hers　that　she　held　me。　　She　had　asked　me　to　go　from　her；　and　again

in　the　night　time　and　with　tears　she　had　asked　me　to　go。



〃At　last　it　was　the　sense　of　her　that　roused　me　from　my　mood。　

I　turned　upon　her　suddenly　and　challenged　her　to　race　down　the

mountain　slopes。　　'No；'　she　said；　as　if　I　had　jarred　with　her

gravity；　but　I　was　resolved　to　end　that　gravity；　and　make　her

runno　one　can　be　very　gray　and　sad　who　is　out　of　breathand　when

she　stumbled　I　ran　with　my　hand　beneath　her　arm。　　We　ran　down　past

a　couple　of　men；